by Piper Snow
At the funeral, she was so distraught that her mother and sister needed to help her walk, holding their arms around her to keep her from falling to her knees in heartache. I carried the girls behind her, both too young to fully comprehend what was going on, but old enough to know that their mommy was ‘broken’ – that was how Sarah had put it.
I looked at Ella, the thought of her going through something like that breaking my heart already. If our relationship became serious, if we got married one day, and something happened to me just like it happened to Stan... I couldn’t put her through that. The thought of leaving the woman I loved broken and shattered was so painful I almost couldn’t breathe.
For the first time in a long time, I felt afraid. Afraid of hurting someone so amazing, so precious. Quietly, I slid out of bed and into the bathroom, hoping a hot shower would snap me out of my thoughts.
A few minutes later, I stepped out of the shower feeling refreshed, but still unable to shake my fear. The sound of Ella’s laughter lifted my worry instantly, and I wrapped a towel around my waist before leaving the bathroom to kiss her good morning. Walking back into her bedroom, I realized she was talking to someone on my cell phone.
“Of course, that sounds great!” she said, blowing me a silent kiss as I entered the room. “Okay, see you soon.”
She hung up the phone and I looked at her quizzically. “See who soon?”
“We have a playdate with Sarah and Lexi. Lucy said they’ve been begging to see us all week.”
I smiled as she stretched her arms over her head, the sheet dropping to reveal her perky breasts, the sight of her rosy nipples making me hard instantly.
“How soon’s the playdate?” I asked, my eyes locked onto her breasts.
She spotted my erection pushing against the towel, making her smile. “I told her we’d leave now,” she said, biting her lip. “Raincheck?”
“Definitely.”
“Thanks so much for doing this on your day off,” Lucy said as I lifted Lexi up into my arms. “You girls be good for Dean and Ella, okay?”
“Okay, mommy!” Sarah said, waving as we began walking down the street, headed for the nearby park. Sarah reached up to hold Ella’s hand, and it was just about the cutest thing I’d ever seen.
“Uncle Dean?” Lexi said as we crossed the street into the park, Sarah running straight towards the swing set.
“Yes, sweetheart?”
“Why’s that man taking pictures of us?” She pointed behind me, and I turned around to see a guy following us, a camera around his neck as he snapped photos of us.
Ella put her arm around me and Lexi protectively, leading us in front of her. “He’s just going for a walk to the park, like us,” she said. “Don’t you worry about him, okay?”
Lexi nodded as I lowered her to the ground, and in seconds she was chasing after her sister at the swings.
“Sorry, baby. He must’ve followed us from my place,” Ella said, looking around the park for more paparazzi.
“I don’t want them taking pictures of the girls,” I said, glaring at the man who was now sitting on a park bench, watching us.
“I know, neither do I.”
“So let’s tell ‘em to get lost,” I said, starting towards him, but Ella grabbed my arm, stopping me.
“Dean, don’t. That’s exactly what he wants; for you to storm over there and make a scene. If we just stay calm and ignore them, their photos will be boring and hopefully they won’t see the light of day.”
“Alright,” I said, turning my attention to the girls, playing happily on the playground.
It wasn’t long before more photographers had shown up, at least half a dozen loitering in the park. I did my best to follow Ella’s advice and ignore them, but the more I saw one of them pointing a camera at the girls, the angrier I became.
I tried to focus on having fun as I pushed Sarah on the swings and Ella played chasy with Lexi.
“Ouch, are you okay, honey?” I heard Ella ask, and turned to see Lexi had tripped over, grazing her knee on the concrete. She nodded, but I could see tears welling in her eyes.
Ella knelt down in front of her to look at her knee, and suddenly the paparazzi thought that moment would make an amazing photograph, getting much too close to either of them for my liking.
“Guys, c’mon. Back off,” Ella said as she helped Lexi to her feet. I picked Sarah up off the swing and began walking towards them.
“That’s it. We’re leaving,” I said when I reached them, grabbing Ella’s hand and leading us out of the park.
That just made the photographers even more desperate to get all the photos they could, and as we left the park and began walking down the street, they edged in closer and closer, until we had to shield the girls as we pushed through them.
“Uncle Dean!” Sarah said, her little hands clutching me tight. “I’m scared!” She burst into tears, with Lexi following soon after.
“Shh, Lexi, it’s okay,” Ella said as she held her close.
“This is not okay,” I muttered, glaring at the paparazzi all around us. “For god’s sake, you creeps! Can’t you see you’re terrifying these little girls? What the hell’s wrong with you?”
We ran up the stairs to Lucy’s house and banged on the door, eager to get out of sight.
“What the..?” Lucy said as she opened the door, seeing the group of men with cameras snapping us from the street.
We walked inside, slamming the door behind us before telling Lucy what happened. After the girls calmed down and stopped crying, I asked to speak with Ella privately in the kitchen.
“How the hell are you so calm right now?” I asked, fuming.
“I’m not, I’m angry too. I hate them for scaring Sarah and Lexi like that, but fighting back only makes it worse. You have to...”
“Ignore it?” I spat out, finishing her sentence. She nodded, concern filling her eyes. “How can I ignore creeps like that taking pictures of innocent little girls? Or hounding my mother? Or following me everywhere I go? That went too far, Ella. Since Stan died, it’s my job to protect those girls and give them a good life. I can’t do that if we’re being stalked all the time.”
“I know, Dean. I’m sorry, I really am. But I promise, it will calm down.”
“You don’t know that. It could get worse,” I sighed, rubbing my hands over my face. “Look, Ella. I thought I could handle all this, I really did. But now that Sarah and Lexi are involved, it’s just too much. I want them to have a normal life, not one where they’re surrounded by creeps with cameras.”
“I understand,” she said, choking back tears. “I wouldn’t choose it either, but I don’t have a choice.”
“I really like you, Ella. More than you know. But I don’t belong in the spotlight. I just want a normal life, not a rockstar who has to jet off every two weeks or gets written about in the papers every time she blows her nose. I don’t want to have to worry about where we sit at a restaurant or whether I’m going to be swarmed by paparazzi every time I walk out my front door. And after what happened today, I realized we were just kidding ourselves. There’s a reason why rockstars and firefighters don’t get together in real life. It can’t work. I’m sorry.”
I took in a long, deep breath as I watched her crumble in front of me, and I tried to stay strong. I had to do this. It was best for everyone if we weren’t together. Hurting her now, before we got in too deep, was better than hurting her later, hurting her like Stan had hurt Lucy. It had to end.
She didn’t say anything, she just wiped the tears from her cheeks, and walked out, with the paparazzi following her close behind.
“Where’d Ella go?” Lucy asked, the girls playing happily in the living room, completely recovered from their scare earlier.
“She had to go,” I said, not wanting to tell her any more than that.
Chapter Ten
The next day, I walked into the station, my guilt hanging over me like a dark cloud.
“What did you do?” Mike asked
when I walked into the TV area. He and a few other guys were watching the news, and I cringed when I saw Ella outside her building, crying, with Jaz and Kelly trying to shield her from the cameras. The news anchor introduced the story: “Flame fizzles out. Ella White left shattered by the fireman who stole her heart.”
“I knew you’d screw it up!” Ben sniggered.
“Dean, what happened, man?” asked Mike.
“What happened? That happened!” I yelled, pointing to the television. “I don’t want to spend my life being followed around or have everything I do be the headline on the daily news. So I ended it.”
Surprised by my outburst, the guys stood up and started walking into the kitchen. Mike paused on his way passed me, disappointment in his eyes.
“If I found the right girl, I wouldn’t let anything stop me from being with her. Especially not some douchebags with cameras.”
I sat down at the dining table, alone, prepared for the whole of America to hate me for breaking Ella’s heart.
Suddenly, Lucy stormed in, dumping a newspaper in front of me. “Is this true?”
Ella was on the front page, shielding her face as Jaz and Kelly helped her into a cab. The blurb said she would be staying with Kelly to have some privacy while she recovered from our break up.
“Lucy? Where are the girls?” I asked, surprised to see her.
“With a sitter. Is this true? Did you break up with her?” she asked.
“Yes.”
She sat down across from me, exasperated. “Why?”
“You saw how crazy those reporters were, how terrified the girls were. I don’t want to live like that.”
“Bullshit,” she said. “I know you, Dean. You wouldn’t let something like that get in between you and the woman you love. And you do love her, I can tell. Don’t worry about the girls, they’ll be fine. They may be little but they’re stronger than most adults I know. They lost their dad. If they can get through that, they can handle anything. So, what’s the real reason?”
I paused for a moment. I should have known I couldn’t fool her, one of the few people who know me best in this world.
“A year ago,” I started. “I would have gladly put up with a million paparazzi if it meant being with Ella. But... after losing Stan, after seeing the hell you went through when he died, how hard it was for you... I realized that could be my wife one day. That could be Ella one day. I don’t ever want to hurt her like that. I don’t want her to go through the pain you’ve been going through. And I don’t want to put our children through it, either.”
“So, what, you’re not going to get married or have kids or be happy... ever?” she asked, holding her hands over mine. “Just because of that?”
I didn’t say anything, I couldn’t even look her in the eye.
“Dean, like it or not, you are going to die one day. It might not be in a fire like Stan, but it will happen. You can’t stop it from happening, and you can’t save the people who love you from the hurt of losing you. Yes, it hurts like hell every single day that Stan is gone. But I don’t regret a single moment I spent loving him. I wouldn’t trade our love for anything, even if it means missing him for the rest of my life. Love is a package deal; you love, you hurt. But you shouldn’t let fear of being hurt or hurting others one day stop you from loving and living now. Today. The way I see it, you have two choices; die alone with a lifetime of regrets, or die knowing you spent as much time as you could loving the people who made your life worth living. It’s up to you.”
And with that, she stood up and left, leaving me sitting at the table, realizing that I’d made a huge mistake.
I pulled out my phone to call Ella, to tell her that I needed to see her as soon as possible, but before it started ringing, the fire alarm echoed through the building. I hung up and jumped to my feet, ready to get to work.
The firetruck sped down the street towards the black smoke rising in the distance, and I couldn’t stop thinking about Ella.
Sarah’s words echoed in my mind over and over again. I knew deep down in my bones that Ella was the woman who would make my life worth living.
I wanted to wake up next to her every morning, I wanted to make her laugh every day, I wanted to love her as much as I could for the rest of my life.
We pulled to a halting stop out front of the burning building, and I pushed all thoughts out of my mind, switching into focus.
I jumped out of the truck and onto the street, helping the guys with the hose as explosions rattled through the building. Suddenly, a woman’s scream echoed through the broken windows, and I bolted inside, searching for her.
Flames licked my back as I ran up the stairs, following the screams to the second floor. My eyes locked onto the woman as she sat crouched in fear at the end of the hallway, and I ran to her at full speed.
Without saying a word, I picked her up and threw her over my shoulder before heading back down the hall. A loud cracking sound rattled the building, and I knew the floor was about to cave in.
I picked up speed, but I wasn’t fast enough. The wooden floor gave way, and I managed to grab hold of the bannister of the stairs, stopping us from falling too far.
“Quick!” I said as I began to lower the woman down over my body. “I’m going to drop you down through the hole. You’ll be alright.”
I clutched the bannister with all my might with one hand as I slowly lowered her through the hole with the other. She was terrified, tears streamed down her ash-covered face as she looked up at me, holding my hand.
I stretched as far as I could, wanting to make her drop as painless and safe as possible.
“Okay, I’m going to let go. You won’t fall far. You ready?”
She nodded, and I let go. I watched as she landed on the floor below with a thud, relieved to see she was okay. She jumped to her feet and ran towards the way out, and it was my turn to fall.
I began lowering myself down, knowing my landing would be much harder than hers because I was higher up and a lot heavier.
Sweat dripped down my nose as I eased myself down a little further, and I hoped the floor below could hold my weight. Suddenly, the bannister snapped and I was falling.
I slammed against the floor below, landing on my back. Pain rippled through my body. The wood creaked underneath me, and my heart jumped in panic when I realized it was about to cave in just as the second level had.
I struggled to move, but immobilizing pain shot through my side, making me cry out, the smoke beginning to choke me. I heard another loud crack before I was falling again, this time longer.
I hit my head hard as I landed on my back again, this time on the concrete floor of the basement. The sound of my bones breaking was almost indistinguishable from the sound of the crackling fire above.
The smell of smoke and blood was overwhelming, and I knew I was in deep trouble. My vision began to blur, and the sound of the fire had started to fade, as though it was a million miles away.
I closed my eyes, with only one name on my lips as I began to fall into darkness.
“Ella.”
Chapter Eleven
ELLA
“Thanks so much for letting me stay here, Kell,” I said as I sipped on my morning coffee as Kelly and Drew cooked breakfast. “I’m sorry I’ve been such a downer.”
“Don’t be silly, Ella,” she said. “I love having you here. You can stay as long as you like.”
“Listen, Ella,” Drew said as he leaned over the counter towards me. “Forget about Dean. If he can’t see that you’re worth fighting for, then he’s an idiot.”
“Thanks Drew,” I said, knowing he was right, but it still hurt so much.
Drew stood up, hugging Kelly from behind. “I gotta go, my sister’s soccer game starts soon. I’ll see you two ladies later.”
“Tell Lacey to kick some butt!” Kelly called as he walked out the door, blowing her a kiss before he left.
I wondered if hanging out with one of the world’s hottest couples was the best thing f
or me right now, but I knew I didn’t really have anywhere else to go. Besides, just as with Jaz and Eli, the love Kelly and Drew had gave me hope that I’d have it too, one day. I just really hoped I’d have it with Dean.
The sound of my phone vibrating against the kitchen counter woke me from my thoughts.
“Hello?”
“Ella?” I knew straight away that it was Lucy. Fear pumped through my heart when I realized she was crying.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, my body starting to shake.
“Ella, it’s Dean. There was a fire. It was bad. He’s in the hospital.”
My entire body went numb as she told me to come as soon as I could, and I hung up, my mind struggling to process everything.
“What happened?” Kelly asked, her eyes wide in worry.
“Dean. There was a fire. He’s hurt. I need to go,” was all I could say.
Fifteen minutes later, I ran into the hospital, searching for Lucy.
“Ella!”
I turned to see her running towards me, tears streaming down her face.
“Where is he?” I asked.
“He’s still unconscious. I just spoke to the doctor. He said Dean’s going to be okay, but he’ll be here for a few weeks. If they hadn’t have found him when they did...” she trailed off.
“What happened?”
“The floor caved in, he fell two stories. He’s got a few broken bones, minor burns on his arms, and suffered smoke inhalation, but Ella, did you hear me? He’s going to be okay. Just breathe.”
That was when I realized I was balling my eyes out. My breathing was so shallow I felt my lips start to tingle and my vision blur. Lucy sat me down in the waiting room, rubbing my back as I tried to calm myself down, reminding myself again and again that he was going to be okay.
Once I had calmed down, Lucy squeezed my hand. “Ella, I think you should be there when he wakes up.”
“I don’t think he would want to see me, Lucy. He broke up with me.”