by Parker, Ali
“Thank you, Dylan. It’s not hard work, protecting the ranch you love. I’m more than honored to do it,” he said.
“Good. I know I can count on you. I’m going to call Marshall from the road. I gotta get going,” I patted him on the back and headed back toward my truck. My eyes flickered over to the main house. Was she watching me from the window? There was no sign of her.
I climbed into my truck and drove down the driveway. Looking at the main house in my rearview mirror was like a punch in the gut. Something told me not to leave, but I had to. I wish she would at least come out on the porch to watch me leave. But she didn’t.
On the way out of town, I stopped at Sam’s Burger Joint and got me two burgers to go for the road, just as I had done before when I almost left, but this time I was leaving for sure. Once again, the nice waitress filled up my thermos with coffee with a wink and best wishes.
Then I was on the road and headed west toward Safety. So much had changed since I’d left, and I wouldn’t be able to talk to my family about it since it was a secret. They wouldn’t be too happy, so it would have to just stay floating around in my mind for now.
The drive would give me plenty of time to think things through. But an hour later, I was already missing Helen. These were going to be a very hard few days back in Safety.
22
Helen
Having coffee outside on the day after Dylan left, I instantly felt the loneliness of the morning. The golden rays of the sun were coming over the horizon and it looked magical as always, but I ached to have someone at my side enjoying the beauty of nature with me. Warm, strong arms should be wrapped around me.
Dylan’s energy was gone from the ranch and I felt it. The fact that it was such an obvious feeling shook me to my core. Having him around gave me comfort, and now that he was gone, I felt it deeply. Looking toward the bunkhouse that he stayed in, I imagined him walking out of the front door with a big charming grin for me. It was obvious to me now that I had taken his company for granted, even while I’d kept him at arm’s length. A part of me wished he had never come to the ranch in the first place, because then I wouldn’t be missing him now.
The only thing I could do was immerse myself in the work of the ranch. There was always a lot to do and there would be even more with him gone. I sighed and went back inside to get changed into my work clothes and get started. I’d even skipped breakfast, except for some toast I ate on the way out of the house. I knew that sitting at the table alone would make me feel lonelier than ever.
“Morning Eddie,” I said, walking out to the fire watch post with a big thermos of coffee. “Thought you could use a refill.”
“Thank you, Helen. I was just thinking some hot coffee sounded good. I’ve been here for two hours already,” he said, as I climbed up into the post with him.
“You relieve Marshall?” I asked, as I poured hot coffee into his thermos.
“Yep. He went home to get some shut-eye before coming back here later to do his afternoon work.”
“Yeah I’m about to make the morning rounds feeding the animals and setting the horses out to pasture, but the rest can wait until Marshall gets here later.”
“Good point. Can’t do it all by yourself, miss,” Eddie smiled.
“See anything suspicious?”
“No, just a truck that drove by before dawn but could have been anyone. They didn’t stop or anything. I don’t think there’s much for you to worry about ma’am.”
“Thanks Eddie. This is a nice view. It’s nice to just sit here a while,” I said.
“Well if you’re going to sit here a while, do you mind if I go take a leak?”
I laughed and laughed. Something I needed after the somber morning I was having. “Please go ahead.”
He laughed and climbed down and headed toward the facilities. I leaned against the rail of the post and looked out over the ranch. It really was beautiful. I was so lucky to call this place home and to be able to make a living off of sharing it with people. Why was I so depressed simply because my lover had gone back home? I was so stupid. I should be feeling nothing but grateful for all of this natural beauty I called home. I smiled and stretched, enjoying the feeling of being queen of my little homeland. I needed to do this more. Then that gave me an idea! I should have a platform tower built! Just something simple, but very high so that visitors could climb up and get a really good view of the beauty of this place. It would be a good lookout point for animals of the wild and I could install telescopes for birdwatching and stargazing!
“You are a genius Helen,” I mumbled to myself.
A few minutes later, Eddie returned and I told him my idea which he thought was great as well. Then he mentioned being a bit of an amateur astronomer, and being really good at constellation spotting. He had a couple of telescopes and offered to bring them out as an activity for the guests. I was so excited for this new idea!
As the day went on, I felt less sad about Dylan being gone and settled back into my element. I was back on track, thinking about nothing but the ranch and how to improve it.
Later on, I helped Marshall with the afternoon routine, not just because a lot of work needed to be done, but because I wanted someone to talk to.
“What do you think about coming up with something new for the guests to do?” I asked him, while we pitched hay into the stables for the goats to eat.
“That’s always something to think about. Did you have something in mind?”
“I don’t know exactly. Any ideas? I just feel like the ranch could use something fresh,” I said.
“Still thinking about the competition from the Saddle Ranch Complex?”
“It’s hard not to when I’m pretty much only booked on the weekends, or the odd long weekend if I’m lucky. They are booked pretty much solid all the time.”
“I’m sure you’ll think of something. We have the guests doing all the regular chores that there is to do on a dude ranch. The problem is, after a few minutes they get bored of it and realize that it’s actually just work,” Marshall laughed.
“That’s very true. Need to figure out a way to make the work more interesting and lively,” I said.
“You can always ask Dylan, he seems to have a good head on his shoulders,” he said.
I’d been trying to get Dylan out of my mind, and here Marshall was reminding me.
“Yep.”
There was a quiet pause as I thought about Dylan. Knowing him he probably could come up with some idea to make the ranch more interesting in a creative way. He just had that kind of outlook on life, it was contagious, too. There was just something about his charm.
“I’m going to go start on the chickens,” I said, pitching the last bit of hay on my side of the stables. In truth, I didn’t want to be talking about Dylan with Marshall and I wanted to get away from the conversation. I thought that maybe Marshall would be able to see all over my face that I was starting to fall for this younger man. I didn’t know why a surge of shame and guilt came with that, but it did.
Entering the chicken coop, I started to think about why I was so determined to push Dylan away. But what would be the harm of letting him in a little? I certainly wasn’t able to resist him when he was around, so why was I fighting it so hard?
The rest of the day was filled with a lot of work. I booked some new guests for the next weekend. I was glad to know that these particular guests had been referred to by previous guests that had stayed a month before. The word of mouth really did make a difference.
But by the time later afternoon came around, I was bored. I had already taken a shower and washed the workday off, and eaten a light salad for a late lunch. But it was still very early, and I didn’t want to feel the extreme loneliness of the day and night without Dylan. I grabbed my keys and headed out and into town. I had a few errands to run, including going to the grocery store.
I felt a bit of anxiety as I didn’t want to run into Imogene again. I didn’t want to know if she saw me Sunday night watch
ing Dylan ride that mechanical bull. That conversation would have me feeling very embarrassed.
Walking down the aisle, pushing my grocery cart, I picked up various things that I needed for my home. Maybe I would even get a bottle of wine to take a nice hot bath with. It would definitely help me sleep. I pushed the cart around the corner to the wine and alcohol section.
“Well look who it is. If it isn’t Mrs. Robinson,” Billy Taylor said. She was with two women around her age and they both giggled.
“Pardon me?” I said, narrowing my eyes. I knew then that a fight was coming, and she had caught me in the wrong mood.
“You heard me. This is her girls, the one that fine cowboy is shacking up with,” Billy said to her friends as though I wasn’t even there.
“Watch your mouth little girl,” I said.
“Or what? What are you going to do? We all know what you’re doing out at your ranch. You have young men come stay with you and then you use them for sex. You should be ashamed of yourself, Mrs. Larson.”
“Jealous?” I said, not knowing where my words were coming from. It was like I was in high school all over again and not backing down from a bully.
The look on her face told me I had hit a chord with her. I hadn’t forgotten that Dylan told me Billy had approached him, and he’d turned her down cold. That was what had started the conflict that led up to the whole mess.
“You’re not used to boys saying no to you, so you just can’t stand that Dylan rejected you,” I said.
“That’s not true! I don’t want him, who would want your sloppy seconds? Nobody, that’s who,” she said, stumbling over the words. Of course I knew she didn’t mean a word of it.
“If you say so Billy,” I said, ready to push my cart past them and get away from this toxic and childish behavior.
“What would your husband think of you? Being a whore and all—”
That was the last straw. Whack! I slapped her. “Don’t ever speak to me like that again. Go home to your mommy.”
The girls were shocked, especially Billy, who held her cheek with a red face. But she didn’t do anything else and it looked like she was about to burst into tears. I moved past them and started up another aisle, then left my cart filled with items in the aisle. I couldn’t exactly continue shopping and go calmly to the register with the anger I was feeling. Walking out of the store, I moved to my truck at an angry pace, absolutely steaming. That little brat!
I pulled out of the lot, peeling out, which was shamefully immature myself, but I couldn’t help it. She got under my skin and I was pissed!
When I got home, I opened a fresh bottle of whiskey and began to drink. I was so angry all I could do was pace back and forth in my kitchen. How dare that girl say such things to me? What a little brat.
By the time I had my third drink in my hand, I wasn’t just mad at Billy. I was mad at myself and Dylan.
I picked up my phone and sent him a text.
Please do not come back here. It is just better that way for both of us.
That was it. That was all I had to say. I hit send and poured another drink.
23
Dylan
The hot Texas sun beat down on my shirtless back. I dunked a handkerchief into a bucket of water and tied it around my forehead, and the cold water dripped down my face. I put my cowboy hat back on top of it. I realized there was at least a ten-degree temperature difference from the plains area of Safety, Texas to the Texas Hill Country of the Larson Dude Ranch.
Picking up the clipboard from the table, I set off to continue my rounds. The night before I’d returned back home late, with just enough time to say hello to my family before everyone turned in for bed. My brothers Wyatt and Connor had left early in the morning when I was just getting up for coffee and breakfast, which I was happy about. It meant they had less time to question me about my Gulf Coast trip. Now I only had to dodge questions from my little sister Abi and my brother Tanner. He was at his own ranch just down the road, but he would be around later.
For now, I was doing the rounds checking off inventory, supplies, and things to be done. But my head wasn’t in the work, and I couldn’t stop thinking about Helen. I wondered what she was doing. I wanted to call her, but since she was so upset with me when I left, I wanted to give her some space. I figured it was a good thing.
The work at home, felt good and I settled right back into my old routine. There was nothing here that I couldn’t do, and between my sister and I, hopefully with help from Tanner later on, we had it all under control.
By late in the afternoon, I knew that Tanner would be showing up at any moment. He was supposed to help Abi and I, but something told me it was just to cover up the fact that Wyatt had him checking on us.
Abi was out in the pasture rounding up the horses, bringing them into the corral for the night. I could see her guiding them in. I put my clipboard down to go help her. Someone needed to be there to close the gate once she herded the horses in.
“It was a nice ride today. Not so hot as it’s been with the cloud cover and all,” she shouted at me from atop her horse as she rode into the corral.
“Yeah, you think? I feel like it’s pretty hot,” I said. But she had been out in this heat the last few weeks and I had been in more temperament climate, so for her any shielding from the sun seemed cool.
“Good work little sister,” I said, as I swung the corral gate closed, locking it.
She got off her horse and started to walk toward me. Ping, my phone went off. I quickly pulled it out of my pocket expecting it to be a quick message from Tanner letting me know he was on his way. But instead what I saw stunned me! It was a text from Helen.
Please do not come back here. It’s just better that way for both of us.
“What in hell—”
“What? What is it?” Abi asked, now that she was in front of me.
“Um, nothing. Just my phone acting weird. An alarm went off that I didn’t set,” I quickly covered my tracks and pushed my phone into my back pocket. I really wanted to call Helen right then, but I couldn’t with my little sister in front of me.
“Yeah, they do that from time to time. So what do you think about dinner? I was thinking that I could make some pasta. You know like we usually do with the big dinners? You can make the salad and I could make the pasta, sauce and garlic bread. I’m assuming it’s just you and me anyway, I don’t think that Tanner will stay. He usually goes home to have dinner with Madison,” she rambled on about dinner and all I could think about was that I needed to get away to call Helen.
“Sure, sounds good,” I said, nervously looking around for something to call her attention to, or something I could go attend to in order to get away and make that call.
“Unless Madison comes over too. I think I’ll check in with her. I’m sure she would want a night off from making dinner and Tanner will want to spend more time with you.”
“Sure, sounds good.”
“Dylan? Dylan, where are you?”
“What do you mean? I’m right here.”
“No, I mean up here.” She pressed her finger against my forehead. “Does this have to do with being at the coast? Did you meet a girl there? Someone you looking to get back to? I don’t know what it is, but you’re not all here,” she said.
That was one thing about my little sister. She was always able to read everybody’s emotions, even when you thought you were really good at hiding them. She always knew when something was wrong, or just not right. Sometimes it was a nice quality to have in a sister, especially when you needed to talk about things but didn’t know how. But other times when you didn’t want to talk, it could be annoying, like now.
“No, I was just thinking about what we need to do next,” I lied.
“So, how was the coast? You’re going back right? Maybe I’ll go with you. I really need some time away too, you know.”
That statement caused me to give her all my attention. I wasn’t ready to deal with that. I couldn’t have my sister tag
ging along and discover the lies I’d been hiding.
“Maybe so, but honestly little sister, the best thing about getting away is getting away from everything. Not to be harsh, but sometimes that includes family. We live together, work together, and do everything together. What is refreshing about my trip is that I’m away from all that. I think you could use that too. Get some girlfriends together and go on a trip—you won’t regret it.”
“Yeah, maybe you’re right.”
“I know I am.”
I felt like I had sufficiently dodged that bullet, hopefully anyway.
“Ready to get to work?”
We both turned to see Tanner walking toward us.
“Ready? We’ve been working all day,” I said, in response to him. I hadn’t seen him yet since I returned, so I walked straight to him and gave him a big brotherly hug.
“Good to see you, brother,” he said.
“You too,” I said.
“We were just talking about you. I was thinking about making pasta for dinner if you and Madison want to join us?”
“Can’t. Date night. Madison’s had it planned for a while. We’re going to go into town and have a proper dinner together,” he said.
“All right, looks like it’s just you and me brother.”
“More pasta for me,” I said.
“Let me take a look at that,” Tanner held his hand out. I put the clipboard in his hand as he began to go through the pages. “Still a lot to do here.”
“Well, it’s only been Abi and I, since Wyatt and Connor hit the road early,” I said.
“Let’s get to it,” Tanner said.
“I’m gonna cool Sunshine out and get her unsaddled and put away,” Abi said.
“All right Dylan, let’s do it,” Tanner said. I walked side-by-side with my brother, aware of how much I’d missed everyone since I’d been gone. But I also missed talking to my brothers about certain things, though I couldn’t talk to him about this.