The Thunder Rolls: The Dawson Brothers #8

by Parker, Ali

  “Good morning, beautiful,” he said, giving me a kiss on the forehead.

  “Good morning. Did you sleep well?”

  “Like a baby.”

  “Want breakfast?” I asked.

  He moaned, “In a bit. I just want to lay here a bit longer with you.”

  He rubbed my back slowly. I loved feeling his large masculine hands against my skin. He felt strong and warm against me.

  We didn’t say much but held each other for a long time. There were things that I knew we needed to say, but they were probably better left unsaid. It was just better that way for what I wanted, for us to think of this as a fond memory and nothing else. But every time I thought about that, I felt sad. I hoped that that feeling would pass.

  An hour later we were eating breakfast. It was quiet. We talked to each other like we were strangers, the tension of him leaving between us. What could we possibly say to each other now except talk about the weather?

  “I need to go load up,” he finally said, when we were done eating.

  I nodded. “I need to go talk to Marshall. See you in about an hour?”

  “Yeah,” he said, with sadness in his voice. He stood up and looked at me. I felt anxious. He was going to say it again—I love you. I could tell it was on his tongue. I didn’t want him to because then I wouldn’t be able to not say it back.

  “Ready? Walk out together?” he said.

  I realized that I had been holding my breath waiting for him to say I love you. I exhaled.

  “Sure, just let me get my hat,” I said. He nodded. I ran up the stairs to my room. I leaned against the wall and closed my eyes, catching my breath. I really thought he was going to say it again. I grabbed my straw cowboy hat and put it on my head. Then I walked downstairs to him.

  We walked out of the main house together. I went toward the barn, and he went toward the bunkhouses, going our separate ways.

  I was feeling anxious. Was this the right thing to do? The anxiety was building the closer it got to him leaving. I kept telling myself this was normal. I did care for him and I should have some sadness about him leaving, but it would pass. It had to.

  In the barn, I talked to Marshall about things that we needed to do that day. I had piled on the work on purpose. This was going to be a hard day to get through, and I had known it for a while. So the more work that I had, the more distracted I would be so I wouldn’t have time to think about Dylan. I hoped the plan would work.

  An hour later, Dylan and I were standing on the front porch of the main house. He had his duffel bag in his hand. The same one that he had held many weeks ago when he first arrived unannounced.

  “I could come back you know. Maybe in a month or so, just to see how things are going?” He said, hopefully.

  “I don’t think that is a good idea. It is better to just end it now, a clean break.”

  “But you know that’s not what I want, Helen.”

  “But it is what I want, Dylan.”

  “I respect what you want. I have already told you how I feel, over and over. If you want me to go, then that is what I’ll do. I won’t disrespect you by trying to push myself into your life. And when all is said and done, I don’t want someone that doesn’t want me in return.”

  That line stunned me. He turned and walked down the porch stairs. His words kept echoing in my head as I watched him walk toward his truck. He opened the door and threw in his duffel bag, then he just stood there, staring at me.

  I took a deep breath and walked down the stairs toward him. I didn’t say anything. My arms wrapped around his body giving him a hug. I couldn’t kiss him. Eddie and Marshall were there in view. This was still supposed to be a secret, and I couldn’t kiss him. Besides I was scared, too. If I felt his kiss one more time, I might beg him to stay.

  “Goodbye, Helen.”

  “Goodbye, Dylan.”

  I stepped back away from the truck as he climbed in and turned it on. The engine roared to life and he slowly backed up and turned around to drive down the driveway. He waved a last goodbye and I returned the wave. The truck turned out of the driveway and down the main road. I watched until it was completely out of sight. In my mind I kept thinking the same words over and over. I love you.

  The thought shook me to my core. I couldn’t be thinking that. It would pass with time. I kept telling myself that.

  The rest of the day was hard. The work was hard, the sun was hard. Everything was damn hard. I kept losing focus on everything I was working on. I would catch myself staring off into the distance, thinking about Dylan’s words. He said he didn’t want someone that didn’t want him in return. Is that what he thought of me? I guess I did lead him to believe that I didn’t want him, even though I did. But I didn’t. It was all so complicated, and I didn’t know myself what I really wanted. But as the hours passed, I kept feeling more and more like I had made a mistake.

  “Just get through this day, Helen. It will get better,” I said to myself, every hour on the hour. I said it to myself in the shower when I was done with the workday. Then I said it again as I lay in my empty dark bedroom.

  In that moment, I truly thought about my husband. I had been pushing away thoughts of him for a long time. Now, I actually faced them. What would he want for me? Would he really want me to be lonely for the rest of my life because I couldn’t come to terms with losing him? Or would he want me to live a full and happy life and find love once more? I felt like I knew the answer.

  Rolling over, I grabbed my phone off the nightstand. I pulled up Dylan’s number, ready to call him. I knew that I had made a big mistake by letting him go. Now that he was actually gone, my true feelings for him were coming to the surface. I loved him. I was in love with him.

  I was ready to dial, but then realized I couldn’t do it. I had been back and forth with him, letting him in, then shutting him out. It wasn’t fair to him. What if he returned and I decided that I couldn’t do it after all? Plus, I couldn’t be the older woman with the younger man, and having the town ridicule me.

  I set the phone down, and turned onto my side, trying to just will myself to sleep. Trying to forget the cowboy I was in love with. I tossed and turned all night. I’d wake up in a panic thinking I’d made a terrible mistake. Then I would finally fall asleep again. It was a very restless night, one of many to come.

  35

  Dylan

  It was sunrise and I was making the rounds feeding the animals. I dumped grain and corn feed into the trough for the hogs. This was what I had been doing every morning at dawn since I left the Larson Dude Ranch in order to keep me from thinking about Helen. But it wasn’t working. I was constantly looking at my phone, hoping she would contact me. My phone was sadly quiet.

  “What are you doing?” Tanner asked, coming to my side.

  “What does it look like I’m doing? I’m feeding the hogs,” I said, annoyed that he was invading my quiet time.

  “Yeah, I can see that. Except that’s not hog feed,” he said. I looked down and realized he was right. I had given the feed for the goats to the hogs, which was completely different, and contained different supplements, minerals, and vitamins.

  “Shit!” I said.

  “What is going on with you, brother? You have been moody like a bastard and foggy-brained like a space cadet,” he said.

  Staying in tune with his observation, I threw the bucket across the field. I was angry.

  “And that just proves my point,” Tanner said.

  “Give me a break, all right,” I said.

  “It’s not that big of a deal, the hogs will be fine. But I can’t have you doing something more serious like running the backhoe or tractor when you’re not thinking straight. This is a dangerous place, what with all this equipment and livestock. You know this. I don’t have to tell you. What is going on with you?”

  “I know, I know,” I said. I sat down on a boulder, and took off my hat, wiping the sweat from my brow.

  “Are you going to tell me what really happened out
there in the Texas Hill Country?” Tanner said, sitting beside me.

  “That’s none of your business,” I got defensive.

  “Dylan, brother, it’s me. Come on. I won’t tell anyone. I already know that you’re hiding that you two were lovers because you have been so depressed since you returned. Not only that, but you were willing to take a beating from those assholes because they insulted her, not to mention keeping us in the dark as to where you really were. You’re obviously in love with her, so tell me what the problem is,” my brother said.

  “I really hate it when you do that.”

  “Do what?”

  “Know the truth about everything all the time. It’s like you can see right through me,” I said, annoyed by my brother.

  “That’s because we’re brothers, and you and I are pretty much the same. All of us Dawson’s are. Whenever there is a problem of the heart we are affected in every part of our life. That’s just the way it is,” he said.

  “Is that so?” I asked.

  “Absolutely, there’s no way around it really. It is just the way that we are,” he said.

  “Look Tanner, I’m glad that you came to my aid out there. That is something I’ll never forget. The way you all came out after you heard me taking a beating on that phone call. That means a lot to me.”

  “There is no way that I wouldn’t have come, brother. You know?”

  “I know that. And I thank you. But I don’t need you to rescue me now. So kindly just stay out of my business,” I said.

  Tanner gave me a look, a mean look. “You really think I’m going to take that for an answer?”

  “Yeah, you’re going to have to, ‘cause that’s all I’m giving you,” I said.

  “Well, I’m not going to take that. Besides I already know what’s going on,” he said.

  “You do? And what is that?”

  “You were seeing Helen and you cheated on her, and now she doesn’t want to be with you,” he said.

  “What? I ain’t like that. I would never cheat on her. I’m in love with her, but the damn woman doesn’t want me ‘cause I’m younger than her. She is afraid of what the town will say about her and all,” I said, angry as hell that he would accuse me of such a thing.

  Tanner gave me a big smile.

  “Dang it!” I said, realizing I’d been had, and that he just got me to confess everything. I shook my head.

  “Sometimes you just need some tough love, brother. So that’s it, huh. Helen is afraid of the age gap and what the town gossips will say?”

  “Yeah, but it’s more complicated than that. She’s afraid people gossiping about a woman having a younger ranch hand sex toy would ruin her business. It doesn’t help that skanky little Billy Taylor accused her of it right in the grocery store one day.”

  “Taylor huh. Should have known. So, do something to assure her that you are not just her sex toy. Do you really love her?”

  “Yes, more than any woman I have ever met. Truth is, I’ve always loved her, even way back, but she wasn’t available to me then.”

  “Then fight for her. Can’t you show her that you want to be with her forever?” Tanner said, with his brows raised.

  I looked at him in shock. Why hadn’t I thought of that? It was so obvious.

  “Tanner, I think you are a genius,” I said, jumping up.

  I started running toward the main house. “You gonna do my rounds for me?”

  Tanner shook his head. “I guess so. I’ve been doing it this whole time. Besides, you ain’t doing a good job anyway,” he said.

  “Woo-hoo!” I shouted and ran inside. I moved quickly. I had a lot to do in a short amount of time and I needed to get on the road.

  The next morning, I drove up to the Larson Dude Ranch. It seemed like forever since I’d been there, even though it had only been a week. But being apart from Helen was torture. I drove fast down the driveway toward the main house and nearly jumped out of the truck before it came to a stop. I looked at the porch and saw Helen was standing there with shock on her face. She looked more beautiful than I could remember.

  I stood there staring at her. She ran down the steps and came straight for me. No words were needed. She jumped into my arms. I planted a kiss on her, and she kissed me back.

  “Dylan, I love you.”

  Her breath was a soft whisper. Hearing those words were everything to me. I had been waiting for so long to hear them. And it was just what I needed, the encouragement to let me do what I came here to do.

  I pulled away from the kiss and looked at her. Her beautiful gray eyes stared at me. I took the box out of my pocket and dropped down to one knee. I opened it.

  “I know you might think it’s too soon Helen. But I want to let you know that I am serious about us. I hope this will take away the anxiety you feel about what everyone says about us. I love you so much and I am in this for the long haul. Will you marry me?”

  Her gray eyes were full of shock and a tear rolled down her cheek. But she didn’t say anything.

  Epilogue

  Helen

  6 months later

  The diamond ring on my finger sparkled in the Texas sunlight. I looked at it and smiled. Happy to be engaged to the most gorgeous cowboy, Dylan Dawson.

  The day he drove up after being gone for a week, I knew that I wanted him badly. I knew then that I was in love with him. Having him gone had made me realize it, more than ever. So blurting out that I loved him the moment I saw him kind of surprised us both. But I wasn’t expecting a proposal, and it both surprised and delighted me. The proposal made me realize that it was what I needed in order to be with him. The promise that we were more than just a fling, and a level of protection from being ridiculed by the town as an older woman bringing young hot ranch hands on to her ranch for fun. It made all the difference. I was grateful for him and his love.

  His arms wrapped around me. “Are you happy?”

  “Yes, I am. I’m happy with us and the way the ranch has turned out.” I looked around as we sat outside in the outdoor dining area, looking out at the new Larson Dude Ranch. It had been a month since we launched the new Pioneer Ranch and we were booked solid until after New Year’s. The plan had been a success and I couldn’t be happier about it.

  “I’m happy too, very happy,” Dylan said as he squeezed me.

  “Hey y’all, I’m going to go into town, need anything?” Abi asked.

  “No, I’m good. Thank you for asking, Abi,” I said to Dylan’s sister.

  “No problem. Anything I can do to help. Really, I just love it out here. I don’t know why I never came out here before. It is a perfect place to get away for a while. I’ve only been here one week, and I already feel so relaxed,” she said, with a big smile.

  “That’s because we ain’t put you to work yet,” Dylan said, teasing his sister.

  “And you ain’t going to, I’m on vacation,” she said, giving him a playful punch as she walked away toward her truck.

  I liked Abi a lot and had spent a fair amount of time with her since she had arrived. It took her a while to approve of me, and in fact, I think that was why she originally came out—to see if she approved of her brother’s new fiancée. I was glad that I had passed the test. She was tough.

  “What do you think? Want to go for a horseback ride down the trails?” Dylan asked.

  “As long as it doesn’t get windy,” I teased, remembering him rescuing me from my skittish horse that had taken off with a gust of wind.

  “Well, we could always share a horse. That way all you got to do is sit with me. Besides, it’s more romantic that way. I want you close to me, always,” he said.

  “Me too,” I said, giving him a kiss.

  “It makes me real happy to hear that, Helen.”

  “It does? In fact, I know you have been asking me, and you’ve been very patient with me about this whole engagement thing.”

  “Yes, if you want a two-year engagement, I am happy to give that to you. I’ll wait forever if that’s what i
t takes. As long as I can wait with you,” he said. He was always saying sweet things like that.

  “Well, I’ve been thinking. I don’t think I need two years. I think I only need one,” I said.

  He turned to me and looked directly into my eyes. “You mean that, Helen? You want to set a date?”

  “I do.”

  “Yes!” he shouted.

  “I love you, Dylan.”

  “I love you, Helen. I’m one lucky cowboy.”

  He kissed me and I knew then that I had lost all of my fear of being in love again. And letting go of that fear made space—for happiness.

  The End

  Want more?

  Check out Always On My Mind!

  Grab your copy HERE!

  Insider Group

  Join Ali’s Insiders Newsletter Group for New Releases, Updates and to Connect with Ali.

  As a thank you for joining her list,

  you’ll receive a starter library from Ali.

  Join Here

  About the Author

  Ali Parker is a full-time contemporary and new adult romance writer with more than a hundred and twenty books behind her. She loves coffee, watching a great movie and hanging out with her hubs. By hanging out, she means making out. Hanging out is for those little creepy elves at Christmas. No tight green stockings for her.