“Huh? Don’t worry, I won’t let you hurt an animal. Is that what you’re worried about?”
“Well sort of. What if I hurt an animal and it targets me every time I’m around.”
Bobby scratched his head, taking one of his hands from my shoulder. “I’ve made a ton of mistakes. How do you think any of us here have learned how to handle all of the animals here?”
“Good teachers?” I whispered. Lucy had one of her feet on my foot, and I could feel it. That meant she could have torn my throat out.
“Sure that helps, but if you’re going to work with animals, you can’t be afraid. Stand up straight and let them know you’re the boss.”
“You didn’t answer my question,” I said a little louder.
“Look at you. You’re shaking. I didn’t realize you had such a fear of animals. Just take a deep breath. If you want to be able to handle animals, you have to relax. If something goes wrong, sure they have memories, but they want you to make it right. Animals don’t like to be out of control, so you have to make them feel safe, by being in charge.”
“How?” I snapped. “I mean, what should I do? Um if that happens.”
Bobby laughed, but then corrected himself with a semi-serious face. I guess at that time he figured he was dealing with a true animal phobic. “Sunny, relax. You’re so cute. Just straighten up again, and claim the space around you, the way you would with any of the girls around here. It’s the same exact thing, except animals are easier. They don’t mess with your head. Try it.”
Lucy looked like she was about to pounce. I thought about the other girls and what I would do if they treated me the way the dog was treating me. Even if I were scared I wouldn’t let them know, and I most certainly wouldn’t let them touch me. From somewhere deep inside I envisioned the nasty teeth of the dog as no worse than the faces of the bitches that wanted to do me harm, with all the attention I was getting. My chest and shoulders straightened up as I took a deep breath and stepped toward the dog instead of away. She was no longer touching me.
“That’s great,” Bobby humored me, before heading to his side of the truck. “I think you’ll be able to handle all the animals out there that hate you. Just kidding.”
Lucy’s snarling teeth returned to her mouth, and she looked a little confused. Then I did something that just felt like the right thing to do. I patted the seat of the truck and offered her to come with us. “Come on girl,” I whispered. It was amazing. She jumped into Bobby’s truck behind my seat, just like she belonged.
It was uncomfortable to have her panting right next to my ear, but I kept up my bluff and tried to focus on the instructions Bobby was giving me. Unfortunately, I think I only caught every other word. Lucy’s breath was so hot and close, that my thinking was jolted every time she made a slight move. A couple of times I tried to think about the fact that Bobby said I was cute. I wanted to dissect that and figure out what he meant. I couldn’t focus. But I was able to take a closer look at him. He made it hard to remember what Rick looked like.
The drive took us on a black top road at first, and then a dirt road that dead ended at a bunch of buildings. Buildings filled with hogs. The smell was inescapable even with the windows up in the truck. I assumed when Lucy barked it was because of the hogs that were lit up by the headlights of Bobby’s truck. It wasn’t completely dark out yet, but dark enough.
“There’s an extra pair of mud boots in the back of the truck. Go ahead and put them on,” Bobby said.
Lucy followed as I went to the back of the truck and retrieved the boots. Instead of growling, she was using her nose to explore me and the boots. I didn’t like it, but I knew that dogs like to sniff everything, so I allowed it. “Good girl,” I whispered.
“What?” Bobby asked.
“Oh, uh I’m a girl. I said that I’m a girl.”
“Yeah, so. Girls farm all the time.”
“Maybe the girls you know. This place really stinks.”
“Smells like money,” he hooted. “You’ll get used to it Sunny.”
“I hope not,” I grumbled. It was hard to walk in the oversized boots, making me feel even more elegant. “This task is like algebra. Something I will never use again in my life.”
“I know, I know. I hear that all the time. You might not use half the things you learned in high school and if you have this big aversion to animals, you might not ever live or work on a farm or in agriculture of any kind, but that’s not the point of learning and experiencing.”
“Yeah, yeah I know. I’m expanding my mind. Just like when I had to read Shakespeare.”
Bobby put one hand on his hip and laughed while he seemed to be enjoying my new walk with his mud boots. “I forgot. You ladies know everything. That’s why you’re living on a ranch like this.” He waited until I caught up to him before he continued. “Taking care of animals can teach you more about life than just hanging out in life can.”
“Let me guess. I’m going to learn to work hard and appreciate what I have. Right?” My records must have clued him in on the fact that my lifestyle leaves me in want of nothing materialistic. I figured his aim was to make me see what it was like to work for nothing.
“That’s not going to happen, unless you’re working for yourself. I expect the hard work is going to feel like a punishment and that you’re expecting that here. What I meant was, you might have to learn algebra and never use it again, but who knows what other channels of thinking that opened for you. It’s the same with animals.”
I nodded my head, wanting to get on with the show.
“Do you think it’s a good idea to be wearing sunglasses at night?” he asked.
“Can we just do whatever it is that we have to do?” There was no way I was going to expose myself to his colors and the headache that would follow.
Bobby turned and opened a gate that led onto a feed floor that was completely full of pigs. “Come on in,” he said.
“In there? I thought we were going to take care of a baby pig or something.”
“These are feeder pigs. Very young and very curious. Actually they stay really curious. Pigs are very smart and know when a new person comes into their pen, so they are all going to want to know about you. Let them sniff a little, but don’t let them take a nibble.”
“A nibble? You mean a bite. I’m not going in there.”
“You have to Sunny. The babies that need help are in the back of the building. Just follow me, and close the gate.”
I watched as he entered. There must have been at least a hundred of them and they all came to check him out. When they nibbled on his jeans, Bobby gave them a tap with his boot. As far as I could tell, they weren’t aggressive, so I followed reluctantly. Lucy was right by my side. When the pigs got close, she circled me, keeping them away. It was amazing. She let them get close enough to take a whiff, but any closer and the dog barked as a warning. Whether or not they could see her, I didn’t know, but she was controlling them.
“Strange,” Bobby said. “They aren’t trying to invade your space at all.”
“Just call me the pig whisperer,” I laughed.
We waded through the pigs and into a stall where a few smaller pigs didn’t look that great. Bobby showed me how to tell they were sick. The poor things would walk around and then lay down, and their behinds were caked with a mess I’d rather not describe. He showed me how to give them a shot of antibiotics and some other shot. When it was my turn to try, I wanted out of the task so bad, but at the same time I wanted this task over with.
“This one’s so weak,” I said softly. I picked it up and cradled it in my arms like a baby. It was so vulnerable, and yes, cute.
“It probably won’t make it. If this were a normal hog operation, this little guy would be allowed to die without an effort. Sick pigs cost money. Thankfully we’re a little different. Yes, we are an operation that expects a profit, but at the same time, we have a little leeway in our budget for guys like these ones.”
“Get better little o
ne,” I whispered. Lucy gave the little critter a couple of comforting licks, and I swear she looked at me with eyes that wanted me to do something to help the animal. So I took the needle and shot the little thing behind its ear, the way Bobby had done. I was terrified that I might hurt it, but at the same time I figured that people did this all the time. Why couldn’t I?
Instead of talking about the pig I was holding, Bobby changed the subject. “You’ve had a busy day for a first day,” he said.
“I guess so.”
“So where did you and Clay disappear to earlier?”
His question caught me off guard a little. I didn’t know if Clay had broken any rules and since I was hoping I would be able to win Clay over as someone that would help me get off the ranch and go home, I didn’t want to say.
“Why don’t you ask him?” I asked.
“Because I thought you could talk to me. I thought you might trust me.”
“How am I supposed to trust anyone here? I mean really. Give me a break. I have no idea where I am and I most definitely don’t think I belong here. If you want me to trust you and answer your questions, why don’t you answer some questions for me?”
Bobby sighed and plopped his bottom on to the clean straw he arranged around the pen for our sick little friends. “There are rules that have to be followed here Sunny.”
“That’s another thing. Where can I get a list of these rules? Everyone seems to know the rules except for me.”
Bobby was nowhere as near intimidating as Clay. He was Clay’s equal in beauty and charm, but somehow seemed more approachable. This was my chance to ask what I wanted to know. He might not answer my questions, but I could still learn something by the way he avoided the questions, so I took a shot.
“I want to call my mother. Don’t you think I should be able to call her?”
“It doesn’t matter what I think. It’s against the rules.”
“Tell me how that makes sense. I’m a minor. I should be able to call my mom.”
“You’re a minor and you most likely need your mother right now, but because of things that have happened in your life, you have to be here. This is a chance… I mean… you are here to get your life back on track.”
“My life was getting back on track. You have no idea. Okay, how long do I have to stay here? I don’t even know that. What’s my sentence?”
“That’s up to you,” he whispered.
“Up to me? Are you kidding? If it’s up to me? I want to go home now.”
He didn’t respond. The frustration I felt made Lucy whimper. Without thinking I reached over and petted her. My enemy was becoming my friend. When I looked back at Bobby to throw him another question, he was looking at my hand as it stroked the dog. It must have looked crazy to him, so I acted like I was stretching and pulled my hand back to the little pig in my lap.
“We should head back,” he said, as he stood to his feet.
“Not yet. I want to stay with the pigs for awhile,” I lied.
Bobby shifted, squatting on one knee. The expression on his face made me feel like he wanted to answer my questions. He put his head down. “I’m sorry Sunny.” He looked back up to meet my eyes. His colors changed some. They became a duller version of gold and white. A small amount of pink, rippled around his chest. Warmth flushed through my body and I knew. The colors were a telling. I looked at Lucy who had changed from having red around her to green and pink.
“I want to help you Sunny. You have to believe that,” he said. “You have no idea how much I want to help you.”
“I do,” I whispered. Something in his colors let me believe him. The colors were a gauge. I could see that now. By seeing the colors around people, I could read them. Maybe. For a moment I got caught up in thoughts of how the accident could have changed me, and that maybe when I hit my face and head I opened myself up for a strange gift.
His realization that I believed him, sent relief through him. I could tell by the tone I think, but I couldn’t be sure. It didn’t matter if I was right, because something was changing. Just like he said before about algebra, looking at the colors I was seeing in a different way, seemed to open a channel somewhere deep within, that was giving me some understanding of what they meant.
“If you believe me, that’s a start. I’m so happy about that,” he smiled. His hand brushed against the bandage on my cheek. “Let’s get back and change this bandage.”
His touch was so soothing that I leaned into it. Something in the arrangement of colors around him invited me, asking me to respond. And then there were those eyes, so deep and soft. Normally I would have pulled away, worried about my appearance, but my gaze wouldn’t pull away from his. I expected him to lean in and kiss me. Everything in me was ready, for what I knew he wanted to do. And when he didn’t, I leaned my lips closer to his. Bobby didn’t pull away, confirming my feelings, but just before our lips met, we heard a car door slam. Someone was there.
Bobby helped me to my feet. He took the piglet from my arms and set it down. “It’s Clay,” he whispered. “I’ve kept you out here too long.”
Chapter Eighteen
Friends
It seems to me a crime that we should age
These fragile times should never slip us by
A time you never can or shall erase
As friends together watch their childhood fly
(Elton John’s, Friends)
The bigger pigs really got excited when Clay entered the feed floor. I watched as his abruptness seemed to repel any interest the animals may have had in him.
“Miss Day sent me to collect Sunny,” he blurted, before he even reached us.
“We were just leaving,” Bobby answered sternly. I watched his colors get stronger and the new pink around his chest turn to red. He was upset.
“Like I said, I was told to bring her back and that’s what I’m going to do.”
No colors. Clay was a mystery. Nothing changed in the ripples of air around him, so I couldn’t get a reading to try and gage. His face seemed to be challenging Bobby though, and that didn’t make sense. Surely he wasn’t jealous. I knew enough about my own self to know I didn’t possess anything to make two men like these get all heated up about me. But what about the kiss that almost happened?
“I find that hard to believe. I’ll radio her from my truck and let her know I’m on my way back.”
“Sunny, get in the truck,” Clay snapped.
Bobby reached his hand to hold my arm when I started to leave the stall.
“I’m perfectly capable of returning her to the house,” Bobby said, giving my arm a little squeeze. I took it as a warning, but I’m not sure why.
“There are rules here,” Clay snapped.
“And none have been broken.”
Bobby guided me past Clay and out of the hog barn. I didn’t look back when I heard some of the pigs squeal from where Clay was standing. I jumped, and Lucy turned to growl at Clay. This was unlike any situation I had ever been in, whether it was out in the free world or in my previous experience of being locked away. The only thing that was believable and completely obvious that day was that these two guys were not friends. In fact, it was likely that they hated each other. It made me feel curiously like a tool for their dispute.
When Bobby, Lucy and I got into his truck and drove off, I started to fume. I was sure the interest they had both shown in me was only a way to get at each other. What a fool I was, for believing I possessed some feminine powers to attract specimens like them.
Back at the house, I barely waited for Bobby to put his truck in park before I jumped out.
“Hey wait up and I’ll dress your wound,” he called after me.
“Not a chance,” I said out loud. It was something I would have preferred to say in my head, but I couldn’t keep in. I felt like such an idiot for letting myself feel some sort of special moments with each of those two, and me with a boyfriend. What kind of jerk was I now? Maybe I really was a pervert. One thing was for sure. The ranch
or farm or whatever it was, wasn’t very conventional. Since when was it okay for men like them to take someone like me, off by themselves? If I wanted to, I could file a complaint I guess, but who would listen?
I stormed into the kitchen and found the first aid kit Bobby had used on me earlier. When he came through the back door, I changed my mind about taking care of my wound and tossed the kit back into the cupboard.
“Wait Sunny,” he pleaded, but I didn’t listen. “Please Sunny. Give me a chance.”
Lucy and I ran up the stairs to my dorm room, where we found my roommates already asleep. Without turning on the lights in the room, I found some clean stuff to put on and went into the bathroom to take a shower. Someone had removed the shampoo and soap. There wasn’t even any toothpaste. Very funny. The games had begun. The way I looked, felt and smelled, I had to have soap and shampoo, even if it was of the generic variety. I put my towel around me, picked up my clothes and headed off to LaKisha’s dorm room. As I left my room, I heard the expected snickers from my roommates.
“LaKisha,” I whispered, as I stuck my head in her dorm room. I didn’t have to call to her a second time, and when I told her what had happened, she pulled me into the bathroom in her room.
“Those bitches,” she sneered, handing me a basket full of the stuff I needed. “You do know you were the topic of interest this evening. Don’t you?”
“What was I supposed to do? Refuse to do what I was told? I can’t win for losing around here. What were they saying?”
“That you’re flirting with those two, and that you’re giving them favors, if you know what I mean.”
Of course I knew what she meant by ‘favors.’ And, of course I could see how the other girls might think that of me. What I didn’t get, was why LaKisha didn’t seem to think so. Her colors stayed steady, with no anger or jealousy in sight. That is if my interpretation of green and yellow around her was even correct. So I asked.
“Do you feel that way?”
“I don’t care,” she said. When I gave her a puzzled look, she offered some clarity. “Look, I don’t get that from you.” Her whisper became even harder to hear when she went on. “If you haven’t noticed yet, some of these girls are here just to torture you. I know, because I was the new girl until you got here.”
Dead, Sweet Boy (Book One - Dead, Sweet Series) Page 18