Shane stood. “Well, I guess that’s it. I’d better let you go.” At the door, Shane startled her by bestowing a quick, hard hug. “My brother was right about you being the one for that cosmic plan of his. No matter what he will love you forever. Kiley, all I’m asking here is that you think about what I told you. He really is a good guy. If you can get around your own insecurities, go talk to him. I know he still wants you to share his life.” He seemed even sadder if that was possible. “If you can’t, well, then you can’t but I’ll be very disappointed. After I met you for real and saw you with him, I started looking forward to having you as my sister-in-law. I thought it was going to be great.” He brushed a tear from her cheek. “I hope I get to see you again. If I don’t, then I guess this is goodbye. Take care, Kiley.”
Chapter Twenty-Eight
After standing there, staring at the door for however long it was, Kiley finally shook herself into motion and headed to work. Henry and Dee spent her entire shift fretting over her. She lost count of the number of times they found her deep in thought, totally unaware of where she was or what she had been doing.
Kiley thought the day would never end. Her mind kept replaying all that Shane had said. At some point, Will’s words from the previous week blended in too. She was relieved to be finally going over the reservation book with the night hostess when she glanced up and found herself face to face with Sadie Brown.
“Good evening. Do you have a reservation?” the other girl asked when Kiley stared mutely.
“No but I’m not here to eat. Kiley and I will need a private table off to the side. We have some things to discuss,” Sadie announced.
The girl’s eyes shifted back and forth between them as the silence stretched. Henry noticed and joined them from the bar. “Is there a problem, ladies?”
“N-no, Henry, thanks,” Kiley said meekly. “Hello, Miss Sadie.”
“Huh,” Sadie grunted. “For a minute there I thought you’d lost your manners along with your senses.”
“Excuse me,” Henry’s protective urged kicked in but Kiley halted him with a hand on his arm.
“It’s all right, Henry. Miss Sadie just wants a word with me. Do you mind if we take a table?” She knew he could feel her hand shaking through his suit coat. After searching her face, he nodded. Stalling for a moment to collect herself, Kiley studied the seating chart. Finally, she marked off a table in the back corner where no nearby tables were occupied. “Miss Sadie, if you’ll follow me?” She led the way and waited uncomfortably for Jordan’s friend to begin.
“Can I get you anything?” Dee appeared with water after Henry suggested that she try to stay close while this formidable woman was there in case Kiley needed her.
Suddenly, Brett was by her side. “I’ll take some water too, Dee, and then I think you should join us. Henry said it’s fine with him.”
The little remaining color drained from Kiley’s face while Dee grabbed two additional glasses. She clasped Kiley’s hand when she took the chair beside her. They both stared as Brett opened his sketchbook and began to draw.
“I can see that I don’t need to ask how you are,” Sadie spoke up, holding Kiley’s gaze. “You’re probably anxious to be away from us so I’ll get right to it. I have a story to share with you.
“My husband was quite a man, in many ways. Five years ago, he met the new boy at the investment firm he used and saw something in him. When the boy tried to stand up for what he believed in, he was let go. The firm thought he was so inept that they opted not to enforce the competition clause in his contract. When he announced his intention to go out on his own, they actually laughed at him and waited gleefully for him to fall flat on his face.
“My husband, however, was very shrewd. He’d been listening to the boy for a year. He understood the boy’s confidence and believed in him. My husband took our account and invested every cent we had with the boy as soon as he got the paperwork from the firm. For the next year, he watched our finances expand in unimaginable proportions. At the same time he learned the kind of man the boy was. Then he up and died. There was a letter with his will that I hadn’t known about. It was for the boy and it specified that I was to take it to him and wait while he read it.
“Of course, I did as instructed. Jordan had been asked to take me in hand and teach me to monitor my finances. Unbeknown to me at the time, he was also implored to watch out for me. Over the next few months, I had a standing two p.m. appointment. I was amazed when I actually understood what he was telling me and grasped just a minute part of what Jordan actually did.
“During that time, I got to know Jordan McKade, the person. In a small way, he was like my husband in that he was able to see past my countenance. Eventually, I realized that we’d become friends. Once he declared I was capable of reviewing my account on my own, I found that I missed our daily talks. I was lonely.
“One night, I couldn’t get settled. I’d had a particularly trying day and needed someone to talk to. Jordan had stressed that I should call him if I ever needed anything so I did. He didn’t seem at all surprised to hear from me. At one point, when I was explaining the reason for my intrusion, I offered to call a radio talk show if he preferred. One thing led to another and I fell into the habit of calling him a few nights a month. We began a game of me phoning and him acting like the host. You’ve heard his voice, Kiley. I’m sure you can imagine how easy and realistic it was, putting him in that role.”
Sadie continued, not permitting Kiley to respond. “Eventually Jordan introduced me to the playboy here. They were nice enough to escort me to dinner from time to time. Inevitably, Brett heard of our chats. That started what I thought was merely wishful thinking at the time. When they came up with their grand scheme, I was offered a chance to be in on it. Last week, after two years of work and planning, it all fell into place.
“Tuesday, Brett and I sent Jordan off to have his own private celebration with you while we had dinner, during which he updated me on what had transpired the week before. We planned a small gathering for the three of us, you, Jordan’s brother, your cousin, Dee and Will. We were going to tell the others what these boys were plotting. By Thursday, I was highly annoyed by their lack of communication. We had plans to finalize and I hadn’t heard a peep from either of them. I was utterly flabbergasted to learn that you had shot the whole shebang straight to hell.”
Sadie glared as Kiley stuttered, “I don’t even know what all that is about.”
Impatiently, Sadie poked Brett. “Tell her.”
Brett briefly glanced up from his sketch to peer at the three of them before he spoke. “As you know, Jordan never intended to stay here indefinitely. I always figured that when he left, so would I, even though we hadn’t really discussed what we’d do next. Then Sadie came along and they started their own personal talk show. The idea developed and Jordan suggested that we make it a reality. We’d pool some money. Jordan chose to include Shane’s too. He’d make us more. I’d research markets in areas we were interested in. We started discussing management and programming goals. Jordan decided that he’d actually like to be a host, at least for a little while. He felt the responsible thing to do was take some psychology courses since he wanted to be able to recognize if someone was in real trouble as opposed to just talking.”
“I laughed at him,” Kiley gasped.
“Yeah but he defended you. He said he mentioned it in passing in an offhand, not at all serious way.” Brett shrugged. “Six months ago, we found the perfect station. It’s located in a small college town. The college operated it at one point but due to lack of funding, declining enrollment and mismanagement, they were forced to sell. Over time, it became more and more run-down. When the last group decided to bail, it had deteriorated to poor quality, local daytime programming and a second-rate syndicated show overnight. We planned on turning it around. You know how Jordan is with his interns. He has a whole cooperative program ready to put into place in order to bring the college back into it.
�
�And then, we came here for lunch one day. Kiley, he took one look at you and as soon as you were out of earshot, announced that we’d just met his future. Outside that first day, I tried to joke about it and Jordan, very seriously, explained why I shouldn’t speak about his future wife the way I was.”
Brett’s eyes locked on Kiley’s. “I have never heard him so certain of anything the way he was about you. He knew he’d eventually win you over. He didn’t doubt it for a minute. There were a few tense days when he was afraid you wouldn’t want to leave the city but he decided the solution was to move just outside it. The station is just over an hour away. If he could convince you to move a short distance west, he’d only need to drive an hour each way to get there. When you shared your desire to live in a small town and raise a family, I thought Jordan would break his jaw with the size of his smile.
“Kiley, you know I was skeptical. You know I’m a cynic. You told me I had to have faith in you and you showed me that my doubts in you were unfounded. I honestly have no idea what’s going on with you but I’ve decided to listen to you. I’m going to put all the faith I have and all the confidence that Jordan has, in you. You’re the only hope I have for keeping my best friend.” She couldn’t contain her shocked gasp. “Last Friday, I met up with Jordan and Max in the park. I sat there and listened to him defend you even though what you did is killing him.”
“What do you mean, he defended me?” Kiley asked.
“Max was afraid you weren’t there because of him. Jordan had to reassure the poor kid that you were mad at him, not anything to do with Max. He explained that he’d done something to make you not want to talk to him anymore. He sat there and convinced Max that you were still his friend even if the two of you couldn’t visit him together.”
For the second time that day Kiley sat and wept silently as she heard how Jordan protected her.
When Brett was sure she was listening again, he continued, “Jordan’s been investing for himself the past week. He’s taking tremendous risks and is being very successful. As of Friday, he was up roughly half a million dollars.”
“Holy shit!” Dee exclaimed.
“Impressive, isn’t it, especially in today’s economy?” Brett commented. “All weekend, Shane and I tried to get him to tell us what he’s doing but he wouldn’t spill it. This morning, I had a thought.” He paused and looked meaningfully at Kiley. “I think Jordan is getting ready to take off. He’ll stay until the station transfer is completed next month. I’m afraid though, that when Max is gone…”
“What?” Kiley interrupted.
“He didn’t tell you?” Brett asked. “Max is dying. It’s a degenerative disease that affects his muscles. Although he still has a good day now and then he’s in the wheelchair practically full-time now. Eventually, his heart or lungs will stop functioning. Until then, you can bet that Jordan will visit him every week, as he’s been doing. Not even you can make him disappoint that little boy. Once Max is gone though,” Brett shrugged, letting his words hang.
“Now, young lady you see how your actions have changed everything? From what I heard, I don’t understand it. Observing you today, I find that you don’t look like a woman who ended a fling with a man you didn’t really want. You’re acting much more like a woman in love who’s made a dreadful mistake.” Sadie waited.
“Do you love him, Kiley?” Brett asked softly.
“Yes,” Kiley sobbed, lowering her head to her arms as Dee attempted to comfort her.
Brett and Sadie waited for her to regain her composure. When she dried her eyes, Brett laid the sketch he’d been working on in front of her. It portrayed a very anguished, miserable looking Jordan on one side, mirrored by an equally distraught-looking Kiley. There was a broken heart between them. “Do you want this to be the last sketch I do of the two of you? Henry said he made you take the first one home. If you don’t go to him and fix this, I want it back. I’ll frame this one and hang them side by side to remind myself never to fall in love.”
“What if I can’t?” she asked hopelessly.
“If you want him, you’ll find a way.” He gazed at her steadily. “Talk to him. At least try. I want my friend to be happy and he needs you for that, just like you need him. I believe in you, Kiley.”
“I don’t know what to say to him.”
“You’ll figure it out,” Brett assured her.
“I have an idea,” Sadie announced. “Wait until after eleven tonight and then call him. He’ll think it’s me and answer in radio mode out of habit. You could start out like a caller would and take it from there.”
“Better yet,” Brett interrupted, rapidly warming to the suggestion, “go over and call him from right outside. You won’t be far away when he wants to see you.”
“I-I don’t have a cell phone,” Kiley admitted.
“Here.” Brett handed her his. “This is my work phone. If Jordan checks his caller ID he’ll think I grabbed the wrong one again.”
“And if he only checks the time, he’ll assume it’s me,” Sadie added, studying her closely. “You do think you made a mistake?”
“Yes.”
“Then admit it to him and get on with your life,” Sadie advised. “Go home and rest. Decide how best to ensure that he gives you a chance instead of hanging up.”
“Stop it, Sadie. There’s no way in hell Jordan will ever hang up on her. Don’t you think she’s nervous enough without you adding to it?” Brett scowled.
“Down boy,” Sadie patted his arm. “I just want her to make it good. She has a lot to atone for.”
“Just tell him the truth, Kiley. Tell him how you feel and what went wrong,” Brett hesitated. “What did go wrong?”
“I overreacted, believed appearances and made assumptions on top of being scared,” Kiley finally answered.
“See, now that was good,” Sadie declared. “Good and honest and to the point. You’ll need to give him more details, especially about what scared you but that would be a suitable opening.”
“She’ll figure it out, Sadie,” Brett refocused his attention on Kiley. “If you seriously don’t want him please, talk to him anyway. Explain what chased you off. Give him at least that much. If he understands, maybe he won’t take off.” He stood. “Time to go, Sadie.”
“Thank you for your time, young lady.” Sadie looked at her intently again. “Do the right thing.”
Dee waited until they were gone before she hugged Kiley tightly. “Honey, I know this will be the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do but, they are right. You need to go talk to him.”
As he approached, Henry overheard Dee’s comment. “Listen to her, Kiley. You’ll never get past this, either of you, until you do. No matter what the final outcome. You can’t leave it as unfinished as it seems currently.”
“I know. I will. Tonight.” Kiley sounded exhausted.
“In that case, you have the day off tomorrow,” Henry declared. “Don’t bother arguing. Look at you. You’re dead on your feet. Good or bad, this is going to be tremendously emotional for you. Tomorrow, you can spend the day being lazy with Jordan or nursing your heart. You need to get some real rest or you’re going to make yourself sick. In fact, I’ve changed my mind. I don’t want to see you back here until Monday. And I’ll tell you right now, if you don’t look well rested and restored, I’ll send you home for another week.”
“But, Henry,” Kiley protested.
“I mean it, Kiley. I won’t have you collapsing on the job.”
“Give in,” Dee encouraged. “It’s for your own good.”
Kiley sighed and nodded. “Okay. You win. Anything else or can I go now?” She was appalled with her words and tone. They were only showing they cared and she was being a bitch, just like she was with Alyssa. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean that. It’s just…”
“We understand,” Dee said as Henry agreed. “Go on now. Be careful driving home. If you need me later, call, no matter what time it is, okay?”
“Thanks, Dee.”
; “If you don’t speak with Dee tonight, please call one of us tomorrow to let us know how it turns out,” Henry requested. “And tonight, be the brave, level-headed, loving girl I know you are. Jordan’s a good guy. He’ll meet you halfway if you’re honest with him. You just have to reach out.”
“I know, Henry. Thanks again for everything.” Kiley made her way out, the weight of the world on her shoulders.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
When Kiley got home, she performed all her normal after-work chores, more out of habit than anything. The entire time, she searched for the words she might say to Jordan. For a few minutes, she toyed with the idea of just going and ringing his doorbell but rejected it. If he looked like he had in Brett’s sketch, she’d be unable to speak. Or if she saw rejection in his eyes she knew she’d be too much of a coward to say all she needed to say and would run away instead. No, it was better to start out on the phone.
After she completed her evening routine, Kiley tried to relax. Unable to, she spent hours pacing instead. Choosing what to wear became an added problem. She knew it was the last thing that she should be concerned with but she couldn’t help it. Somehow, the thought that Jordan would turn her away if she dressed wrong had formed and refused to be dismissed. She finally decided on a green sweater he’d admired and the jeans that he’d gotten her. After her first shower, she’d pulled her hair into a ponytail. Since Jordan had mentioned how soft and feminine she looked with it loose, framing her face, she thought she needed to wear it down for him to talk to her. That meant a second shower to erase the crease that the ponytail holder put in her hair.
Once she was dressed, Kiley forced herself to quit stalling. She was going to heed Sadie and Brett’s suggestion and begin as if she were calling a talk show. She’d ask for advice and then, if he didn’t hang up or tell her to simply say what she had to say, she’d describe the situation as if she were describing someone other than him. If she could think of him as a stranger whose job it was to talk to her then maybe she could get through it.
Questing (Cosmis Connections, Book One) Page 31