by Kimber White
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I know this has been a lot for you to take in all at once.”
She drew in her bottom lip, deepening the dimples in her cheeks. “You could say that. I suppose I should be curled up in a fetal position somewhere babbling. Maybe I still will. It’s just...I don’t know. It all feels…”
“Natural?”
She parted her lips with a smack. “Aw, hail no. Not natural. I don’t know what the word is. I was going to say...er...real. It just feels real. And I think that’s because of you.”
My heart lurched. Of course I’d be fooling myself to think Molly hadn’t sensed the connection between us. Only I knew what it meant, but I wasn’t yet strong enough to tell her. I could tell myself it was to protect her. There was that. But, the truth of it was, I was too damn scared she’d turn away from me. So, I was selfish. Jagger was right. Probably the safest thing for Molly would be to leave and forget she ever met me. The thought of that sent fresh pain ripping through me.
“Keara tried to explain,” she said. “Some of it she didn’t really have to. Those wolves out there. They wanted to kill you. Why?”
I raised a brow. “Kill me? Only if I were very, very lucky.”
“Don’t make jokes, Liam. I need to know. And another group of them tried to rip your friend Mac apart. And then that boy and his grandparents. Why? What did you do to them?”
I let out a sigh. How could I explain it all so that she would understand? I started with the easiest. “Mac’s not my friend. He’s my brother. We have the same mother.”
Molly raised her brows and shook her head as if the facts I’d told her swirled inside of it.
“Fine. Your brother. I kind of figured. But, the Chief Pack,” she said. “That’s what Keara called them. I mean...I’m not an idiot. I understand a little about regular wolf psychology. So you, Jagger, the others. You’re not your own pack.”
“No,” I said. “We’re just...well...thrown in this thing together. The Chief Pack controls all the wolves of Kentucky. The Alpha dominates them all. His control is...absolute.”
“What do you mean? Like a dictator?”
I nodded. “It’s total though. The Alpha can make members of the pack shift when he wants them to. He can make them do...well...whatever he wants.”
“Sounds like a tyrant,” she said. “Like the thought police?”
“No,” I answered. I moved across the room and sat down on the rocky ledge. Molly came to me. She put her hands on her thighs and slowly sat beside me. It was hard to think straight having her so close to me. But, I needed to get through this.
“No,” I continued. “He can’t control our thoughts. That’s the hell of it.”
“So he can make you hunt for him, act for him, kill for him? Even if you don’t want to?”
“Yes. He uses his soldiers to help keep all the shifters under his dominion in check. He’s got lieutenants who keep them under control for him.”
“Those wolves who chased us, those were some of his soldiers?” she asked.
“They were.”
Molly combed her fingers through her hair. She leaned back against the wall and drew her legs up. She hugged her knees and rested her chin on them. “What happens if you try to resist?”
I closed my eyes. The echoes of remembered pain shuddered through me. “Most can’t. Pain. Madness. Death if you’re lucky. It’s more than that though, Molly. The Alpha controls how we spend our days. We don’t get to choose what we do for a living. We don’t get to choose mates.”
“How is that possible? I mean...there are more shifters. So, somebody’s mating.”
I moved away from her so I could turn to face her. “The Alpha sanctions all matches. We don’t get to freely choose who we spend our lives with. In most cases, there are no marriages. There’s just...sanctioned breeding. My mother? Her match with my father and then Mac’s father was sanctioned. Commanded. He’s tried to breed out other Alphas. He’s tried to genetically engineer the pack to be naturally subservient to him.”
“Wow.” Molly blew out a breath. “It hasn’t worked though, has it? I mean you...and Jagger at least. You’re Alphas. I can, I don’t know, feel it.”
“Jagger is my cousin. Our fathers and Mac’s were shifters the Alpha controlled. Jagger’s mother and mine and Mac’s mother were sisters. Human sisters. We were always rebellious, but it was nothing that either of us couldn’t control. Then, Jagger met Keara.”
Molly’s eyes widened. “He fell in love with her.”
God, it was so much more than that. Couldn’t she feel it herself? I knew she could. But, Molly was still trying to hold on to some semblance of her life before she met me. I couldn’t deny her that. I couldn’t burden her with the hardest truths I had to tell.
“Yes,” I said. “And she fell in love with him. But, it wasn’t a sanctioned match. The Alpha had other plans for her. When Jagger found out, he helped her escape.”
“Escape from where?” Molly’s voice cracked with fear.
“I told you. The Alpha controls who his pack members mate with. Keara was selected for one of his top generals. Jagger couldn’t stand for it. So, he got her away from him. I helped him. Eventually, we found this place. In time, we found others who were strong enough to break the Alpha’s hold.”
“Until when?” she said. Horror written plainly on her face, she reached for me. “Liam, I felt it. I don’t know how or why, but I felt what it did to you.”
Silence rose between us like a thick fog. She knew I was holding something back. Every instinct in me told me to just take her in my arms. My need for her burned bright within me. How I found the strength to shield that from her, I don’t know. With each passing second, Jagger’s words rang truer. The longer I spent with Molly, the harder it would be to pull away.
She trailed her fingers across my chest. “This ink,” she said. “I saw it on Mac. Jagger too. What does it mean?”
I closed my hand over her fingers. I couldn’t think straight if she touched me. “We may not be a pack, but we have a pact. This was one way we sealed it.”
“A wolf with wings and crossed swords. You’re resistance fighters.”
“Something like that. It was something Jagger and I did to honor stories we’d heard about men who tried to go against the Alpha fifty years ago and lost. Then later, when Mac, Payne, and Gunnar joined us, the tattoo became a test of loyalty. A commitment to the cause.”
“I see,” she said, her brow furrowed.
“So, now maybe you understand why I had to steal from the clinic. I’m not proud of it. We live underground to stay free of the Chief Pack. The longer I’m up there, the easier it is for the Alpha’s soldiers to zone in on us. We survive how we can.”
“Until when?” she asked again. I didn’t have a good answer for her.
I settled on a simple one, “I don’t know.” It was true enough. “We help others where we can. Payne, he’s the only one of us you didn’t meet tonight. He’s off trying to help another shifter cross the border into Ohio. We have a growing network of regular people who’ve been willing to help us. It’s more than I ever could have hoped for. You see, it’s not just shifters that face the Alpha’s tyranny.”
A shudder went through Molly. “Like Keara,” she said. “Why her? I mean, she’s not like you.”
It was so hard for me to answer. If I even let my mind go to the worst of the Alpha’s transgressions, my wolf grew fierce with rage. Molly could feel that too, even if she didn’t fully understand it.
“There aren’t very many female wolf shifters left in the world. My kind was cursed generations ago. Most of us are no longer full-blooded shifters. We have human mothers and shifter fathers, like Jagger and Mac and me. The Alpha has sought female shifters for decades. In the meantime, certain human women are just more suited for mating with shifters than others. I can’t explain why. It just is. Keara was one of them. Except, she belongs with Jagger. The Alpha was willing to force her to be with his general against her wi
ll. It happens all the time. It’s one of the things we fight the hardest against. It’s the other reason why Mac is here. He has another half-sibling. A sister. His father was deemed important enough to earn two different women to mate with. Mac’s sister Lena is human though. She disappeared a few months ago. We think she’s been taken by the Alpha to breed with another shifter.”
A tear fell from Molly’s eye. She put her fingers to her lips. “I can’t hear any more. I don’t even want to believe it. But, I do. I told you, I felt it. Is that...were those wolves after me for...that?”
I couldn’t help it. My wolf shuddered to the surface. I gripped the stone bench and my vision wavered. I was in danger of shifting right there in front of her. In the end, it was Molly’s calm touch against my thigh that helped me put the wolf under control.
“I won’t let that happen,” I said. “We won’t let that happen.”
“And what about Brady? There’s something wrong with him. I could see it. He wouldn’t let me near him to do a full examination even if I did have the equipment. But, he seems sick. From what I’ve seen of you and Mac, you’re indestructible. Why isn’t he?”
Liam’s face grew dark. “I told you, the Alpha is also trying to control the pack genetics. He can’t have strong Alphas that might challenge him. So, a lot of mating pairs he makes are to produce betas and omegas only. He needs them strong enough to work for him, but not so strong to rebel. There are a lot of boys like Brady in that generation. He’s considered an undesirable, but it’s the Alpha’s own breeding policies that made him. It’s sick.”
“What’s going to happen to him...if…” Molly covered her mouth with her hand, as if the rest of her sentence just hurt too much to say.
She saw the answer in my eyes. There was no good outcome for boys like Brady. If he couldn’t do the physical work the Alpha needed, if he couldn’t be a good soldier, he’d be shipped off and exterminated.
Molly sat back hard. “I want to help you.”
My throat grew thick with emotion. “Molly.”
“I mean it. I get it. You need meds. It’s less dangerous for you to get them from the clinic then say a hospital or doctor’s office. It’s smart, really. But, you also know it’s temporary. Someone’s going to figure it out. I have some ideas though. I think I know a way to get you some antibiotics and other essential medical supplies for the short term.”
“I can’t ask that of you. It’s too dangerous for you. I’ve taken enough. Your boss won’t suspect you of anything the way things stand right now.”
“Liam, you said yourself you’re building a network of people to help you. I’m offering to be part of it. For a little while, at least. It’s not your call, anyway. I’ve already told Keara I’m willing to help.”
Her eyes widened as I let out a protective growl. God, if anything happened to her. No. I wouldn’t let it. I’d die before any harm came to Molly.
“On one condition,” she said, her voice low and solemn.
I wanted to tell her I’d do anything for her, but sensed it would spook her. “What is it?”
“I need you to let me go home. Now. Tonight.”
The wolf thrashed inside of me. More than anything, I wanted to keep Molly close to keep her safe. I couldn’t though, and we both knew it. The safest thing for Molly was to stay away from me.
“All right,” I said, feeling like my own voice had betrayed me. Sending Molly away from me went against every instinct I had.
Ten
Molly
The next two weeks brought torture unlike I’d ever known. Liam blindfolded me and brought me out of the caves that morning. I told him I’d never be able to find my way back even without the blindfold, but he insisted it was for my own safety as well as the others hiding below. When we reached the edge of the woods near my trailer park, my heart ruptured when I turned to say goodbye.
It had been like that ever since. Without Liam nearby, it was as if the air had grown thicker. Each rising of the wind, every car horn, I found myself jumping out of my skin listening for a wolf’s howl. It wasn’t me I worried about. Now that I had a sense of the danger Liam and the others faced from the Chief Pack, I couldn’t keep the nightmare scenarios out of my imagination. What if Liam were captured?
I busied myself at the clinic. Bess’s disorganization worked to my advantage. How she’d avoided being audited by the FDA boggled my mind. Once I’d committed myself to the task, stockpiling medication for Keara was easy. I started small with antibiotics and non-narcotic pain medication. Then, I grew bolder. With no idea how long Keara and the others might need to stay in the caves, I started thinking about helping her set up a mini operating room. Of course, someday she’d need someone qualified to run it.
“Everything okay back here?” Bess poked her head in as I stacked rolls of gauze in one of the supply closets. Her soft voice had me jumping out of my skin. I gave her a smile and went back to work.
“Just dealing with the drudgery, boss,” I said. “Same shit, different day.”
“Okay for you then. I’m going to head out. Taking a half day.”
I peered out from behind the cabinet. “You? Seriously? What gives? Hot date?”
The minute I said it, my heart dropped. We hadn’t seen a trace of Zeke lately, but I had kind of hoped Bess would stay single for a good long while. I didn’t think the Shadow Springs Vet Clinic could handle any more drama this month.
Bess’s odd expression spoke volumes. She was about to lie to me. “Nothing exciting. I just needed some time to myself. I haven’t even taken a vacation in over a year.”
Nodding, I finished stacking gauze and carefully stood. I’d pocketed several vials of canine insulin. Who knew what kind of medical crises Keara’s people might face?
She could help, I thought, looking more closely at Bess. It was one thing for Keara to administer pain meds and treat cuts and scrapes. But, if any of her people required more serious medical care, someone like Bess would be a godsend. I didn’t dare break Liam’s trust though. He made it very clear that the Chief Pack had spies everywhere, human and wolf.
“Good for you,” I said. “Take tomorrow off too, if you can. We can keep things under control around here. You don’t have any surgeries scheduled.” The minute I said it, I realized how badly I wanted her to. An entire day with Bess gone would give me gobs of time to put some plans in place about our next pharmaceutical shipment.
Bess gave me a crooked smile. “No. A half day is all I need for now. I don’t want to get too far behind.” She delivered the end of her sentence in a kind of sing-song voice as she turned the corner.
Blowing a hair out of my face, I turned back to the medicine cabinet and started making plans.
If Bess had been hoping for a quiet day after her brief alone time, the next day didn’t deliver. We had two urgent care admissions first thing in the morning. Pitbull vs. Doberman mix. The pit got the worst of it. Bess called Jason in to help her stitch up the poor thing’s nose.
“Sorry,” Jason said. “Don’t mean to leave you alone with the tech calls. You sure you don’t want me to reschedule?”
I shook my head. “I’m good. Go help her with the combatants. I’ve got things under control.”
My heart dropped as I looked out in the waiting room and saw the patients Jason left me with. Keara stood with her back pressed against the wall. She held a thin leather leash in one hand and my eyes traveled to the end of it. At a side glance, Jason probably thought it was a large husky. It’s what Keara had written on the intake sheet lying on the desk. I knew better.
Brady let out a keening wail as soon as Jason closed the door to the operating rooms and disappeared. I tried to swallow, but my throat had gone dry. Brady didn’t look good. When Keara stepped forward, Brady’s step faltered. He crossed one paw in front of the other then sidestepped. My heart raced. That kind of altered gait usually meant something neurological was wrong. Keara gave me a desperate look.
“Come on,” I said, forcing a che
ery tone. “Let’s get you back in Exam One.” I cast a nervous glance around the corner. Jason and Bess were already in surgery. Tina was back in the recovery room with the Doberman. We were light on volunteers today. I got Keara and Brady into the room quietly.
As soon as I shut the door, I dropped the chart and went to my knees. I gently smoothed my hands over Brady’s snout and pulled his gaze up to mine. His eyes were cloudy, his pulse erratic.
“What happened to him?” I asked, peering up at Keara. She sank to the metal bench and buried her face in her hands.
“One of the Chief Pack members came into his grandfather’s grocery store this morning. He was alone. But, he got a little rough with Bernie. Accused him of price gouging out at the gas pump. It was all posturing. Brady got a notice the other day that he’s supposed to report.”
“Report?” I asked, straightening. Brady let out a pitiful whine and rested his head on his front paws. He was panting more than I liked, but his lids drooped and he looked like he was about to fall asleep.
Keara sucked in a hard breath. “He’s going to be fifteen soon,” Keara explained. “All able-bodied male shifters have to report to the Chief Pack. He’ll be asked to serve as a soldier.”
I looked back at Brady. His focus drifted in and out. I couldn’t tell if he was merely depressed or if there was something more serious going on medically.
“Wait here,” I said. I gave Keara a friendly smile and headed back to the supply room. Jason and Bess were still in surgery so I was able to easily grab the box of medication I’d set aside for Keara.
When I came back in, Keara was on the floor next to Brady. She held his head between her palms. He was still emitting a high-pitched whine. This wolf was in real pain.
“What is it?” I said, setting the box of meds on the floor. I joined Keara and pulled the pen light out of my pocket. The orbs had a milky quality I didn’t like. I felt along his chest, over his ribcage and further down, looking for enlarged glands or telltale signs of what might be wrong with him. Though I had become quickly aware that canine and shifter physiology bore little resemblance to each other, I went to my comfort zone.