We all three started to get up and as the girls walked out I heard her calling me back inside the office. “Mr. Mitchell, could I have a word?”
I sat down, feeling like she was going to scold me for being so rude earlier. “I’m sorry I jumped the gun. You can imagine I’m a little on edge.”
“Don’t give up on your daughter.”
“I won’t. It’s just hard knowing she hates me so much.”
“She doesn’t. It was one of the first questions I asked her. I sense that she’s being resilient to communicate and that’s very normal. For eleven years, she’s only known one thing. Being able to accept change doesn’t happen overnight. I do hope you come back next week. Try your best to do the exercise with Bella each day, no matter if she cooperates or not. Don’t let her see you giving up, because she’ll think you don’t care.”
I reached over and shook her hand. “I’ll do whatever it takes.”
“See you next week, then.”
I met the girls at the car. Bella was in the back, looking out the window like she was all alone. I smiled at Miranda as I climbed into the passenger seat. “Are you ladies hungry? We can stop and get something to take home. The boys are eating over Mimi and Poppy’s.”
“We could eat somewhere here in town, too. Are you hungry, Bella?” She looked in the rearview mirror at our daughter.
“Kind of.”
“We could go to that place that has the cool dessert case. Would you like that?” I was trying to butter her up, but she wasn’t having it.
“I don’t like that place anymore.”
“Since when? You’ve loved that place since you were two.”
“Since now. I’m not really hungry. Can we just go home?”
I’d struck out again. Miranda reached over and took my hand. She smiled and squeezed it. I knew not to push my luck.
We stopped at a drive-thru, and even though she didn’t ask for anything, we got her something anyway. Miranda and I stole a couple fries out of the bag. I picked it up and held it behind me to see if she wanted one, but she acted like she didn’t see it there, in front of her face.
“Remember when Bella was a baby and she called them fri fri’s?”
“Every time she saw a fast food place she’d yell for them,” I replied.
“And you’d get them for her,” Miranda added.
I leaned my head against the window. “I got her everything she ever asked for. It was my job.”
The car got quiet and it was hard to fight my way back to her heart. The more we brought up the happier times, the more she refused to interact with us at all.
That following night, I headed into Izzy’s room after dinner. She was sitting on her bed, working on a school paper. I sat on the edge and looked over at her. “We need to do our exercise now, Iz.”
“Can we do it tomorrow? I don’t feel like talkin’.”
“We have to do it every night. Don’t you want things to get better? I hate that you won’t talk to me. I miss you, Iz.”
“Don’t call me that. I’m not your Izzy anymore.”
I closed my eyes as my lips began to tremble. “Please don’t say that.”
“It’s true. I’m not doin’ these questions with you. You can’t make me talk. You can’t make me do anything.” She packed her papers into her book bag and sat it down on the floor. Then she got under her covers and rolled on her side, like I wasn’t even there.
I stood up and started to walk out of the room. My head rested on the door as I considered yelling, pleading or anything that would get her attention. Deciding that it would only piss her off more, I knew I had to walk away. “You’ll always be my Izzy, because you’ll always be my daughter. Even if you hate me forever, I’ll never stop loving you. I’ll never stop waiting for you to forgive me.”
I went straight to my room and closed the door. It wasn’t something I wanted to talk to Miranda about. All I wanted to do was be alone. It was exhausting living like this day after day. I wanted my family back and I could tell that it was beginning to take a toll on us all.
Miranda came in a short while later, probably because she’d noticed that I wasn’t in Izzy’s room. I’d already gotten into bed and turned off the lights. She sat down beside me and rubbed my back. “I guess it didn’t go well?”
“She told me not to call her Izzy anymore. Miranda, I don’t know how much more I can take of this. It’s tearing me apart by the second. I’m sick of feeling like I’m helpless.”
“I just talked to my mom. She and John want to take to the kids for the weekend. They are coming to get them on Friday. I know she’s still punished, but I think we all need a break. Maybe if she’s gone for a few days she’ll get homesick and realize we’re all she has.”
I rolled over and looked at her. “I’m willing to try anything. You know that.”
“Good, because I already told her it was okay. Let’s just try to get through this week. I know it’s hard. I hate this. She’s so stubborn.”
I grabbed her hand. “She’s like her mother.”
“Well, if she’s so much like me, then I know she’ll forgive you.” She leaned down and kissed me on the lips.
I couldn’t give up on hoping she’d come around. It wasn’t the guilt that was killing me anymore. It was the pain. I longed to have her love me again and the longer I went without it, the emptier I felt.
Chapter 24
Miranda
I’d like to say that things started to get better after seeing the therapist, but it wasn’t the case. Nothing had changed.
We were stuck in this vicious circle of ignoring the issue, every day and every night. I missed my family and the way we used to do things together. Now, getting them in the same room was impossible.
You couldn’t even cut the tension in the house with a chainsaw. Bella stayed in her room, while Ty stayed in ours. Neither of them wanted to bump into the other. The exercises didn’t do anything except frustrate Ty more. Each night he’d go in and attempt to do them. Ten minutes later he’d come out upset.
Bella refused to associate with Ty or do things with her brothers, and she wasn’t exactly being friendly to me, either. By the time Friday came along, I was excited for her to get away. Don’t get me wrong, I adored my children, but something had to give. Maybe if they had a break from each other, Bella would miss us and start to appreciate the life she had.
My mother and John came while the kids were still in school. It gave us a chance to talk and fill her in on everything. I could see that she was hurt by all of this. The thing was, there wasn’t one person in our family who was against Ty being Bella’s father. They all wanted it to happen, so clearly they were as upset as we were that she’d learned about Tucker.
My family had hated the man from the beginning. I’d always had terrible taste in men, but he was by far the worst. Many times I thought my brother was going to kill him, especially after I found out I was pregnant.
Usually when someone’s in a relationship, even when it’s bad, you can pick out the good times and focus on them. Unfortunately, there were no good times to remember about Tucker. He was a liar, a cheater, and a criminal. I was the biggest fool for being interested in someone like him, and it hurt so much knowing that it was my fault he’d come into our lives and made such a mess of things. After all these years, his ghost was still haunting us and wreaking havoc on our future.
More than anyone, Van was especially upset. The things that went down with her and Tucker had scarred her for life. She never wanted her children to know about that horrible time. There was a chance that Noah had already dug too deep. If he knew, it was only a matter of time before it came out.
It would break Van’s heart to be looked at as the victim, especially now after everything they’d gotten through. The woman had battled breast cancer and came out healthier than ever. She was a fighter, even if she didn’t know it herself. I hated that my child could dredge up something that should have stayed buried forever.
When the kids came home and learned what was happening, they were completely ecstatic. We’d already packed their things, so after saying goodbye, we watched them driving away from the house.
I turned around and looked at him, who seemed relieved to have a break from the constant tension in the house. “We have the whole house to ourselves. I think we should take a nap and clean the carpets.” They were a mess from everyone dragging in dirt every day.
He grabbed the elastic of my pants and pulled me toward him. “The only carpet I’m planning on cleaning is yours.”
Leave it to my husband to come off with a joke as soon as he felt comfortable again. “I’ll have you know that my carpet has been gone for years.”
“I think I need to check.” He started tugging down my pants and kissing me on the neck.
“Ty, they just left. We have all weekend. Don’t you want to do somethin’ constructive?” I had a huge to-do list to conquer.
“Getting you naked is constructive. I need to flush out your pipes, baby,”
I laughed at him as he tried to kiss me again. I moved my head to the side so that he missed my lips. “If we get naked now, I know you won’t want to get out of bed. We’ll get nothin’ done.”
He reached up my shirt and started to unclasp my bra. “I promise, I’ll be quick. One hour and you can scrub whatever you want. Just give me some pussy.” He stuck out his bottom lip. “Please?”
I rolled my eyes and pulled away from him. “You’re worse than a kid.”
“Whatever it takes to get me in those pants.” He winked at me, like his efforts were going to get him further. It wasn’t like I was denying him sex. In due time, after we’d done everything on the list, I’d spend all night in his arms. There was a time and a place and Ty never seemed to follow those rules.
“You’re hopeless. How about I just bend over right here, let you have your way, and then get to work?”
His eyebrow raised and a smile formed out of the corner of his mouth. “Really?”
I smacked him across the chest. “I was kiddin’. My God, you’re a horny man. You need the reverse of Viagra. You need NOagra.”
He laughed at my comment and I left him standing there, while I went in our bedroom to put away three baskets of clothes. Like always, I made our bed and dumped the baskets on top of it. From there, I’d separate what belonged to who and then fold it.
Ty came in the room and jumped on the bed. The pile scattered off the bed and onto the floor. As I bent over to pick some up, he grabbed me and pulled me on the mattress. “Let me work.”
“Sex first than I’ll be your slave all day.”
I turned at looked at him, wondering if he meant it. “Seriously? If I give you some, you’ll do whatever I ask, all day long?”
He slapped me on the ass. “Yes, ma’am.” He starting dry humping me rapidly, like a dog. “I’m going to hit it like this.”
I laughed and tried to move away, but he grabbed my arms and pinned me down, hovering over my body. Finally, I rolled my eyes and gave in. “Fine. Do what you must.”
He kissed me on the lips and pulled away when I didn’t reciprocate. “You have to participate. It’s your wifely duty.”
A laughed escaped me. “My duty? Ty, I give you sex all the time. You’re hornier than anyone else on this planet. I can’t bend over without you getting behind me and humpin’ me. I have to change in the closet, because I know if you see me naked, you’ll attack me. When you don’t get you’re even worse. You walk around mopin’ and actin’ like your life sucks. You’re ridiculous!”
He grabbed my shirt and pulled it, forcing me to lift up my body and be face to face with him. He looked right at me, trying to figure out if I was annoyed or kidding.
“What’s wrong, babe? Did I hit a nerve? Are you afraid I might leave you and become a lesbian?”
Ty shot up and looked at me like I’d been infected with a disease. “Please say you’re kidding. You wouldn’t?”
I burst into laughter. “You should have seen your face. Oh my Lord, your pride would have disintegrated. You poor thing. What’s wrong? You can’t take a joke can you?”
He pinned my arms above my head and leaned down. “Don’t joke like that. My meat is still good and you know it.”
“Your meat is getting old,” I teased.
“It never expires.” He dragged his erection over my leg.
“I think it’s defective. It’s been overexposed.”
The more I joked, the more offended he became. I couldn’t help but laugh at the way he acted like his penis was such a prize possession. He finally rolled over and put his arms above his head. “I feel worthless now,” he pouted.
I rolled over, placing my body over his. “I’m just teasin’ you.” I reached my hand down his pants and got a hold of him. “If the house wasn’t a wreck, I’d spend the whole weekend in this bed with you, because it’s what we both need. We’ve been through hell, and it’s not gettin’ any better. I just want it to be the way it was before. I want us to feel whole again. We’ve tried to be mean, nice, hurt, and desperate and none of it fazes her. I don’t know what else to do. We’ve taken all of her favorite things away and she doesn’t care. We’ve started therapy. I feel like I failed her, Ty. I know that inside of that hard-headed body, there is a little girl that longs to run right back into your arms.” I ran the back of my hand over his cheek. “You think she hates you, but you’re so wrong. She’s doin’ what I would. She’s shuttin’ down so she doesn’t have to deal with it.”
“I’d like to do that. This has been the worst couple months of my fucking life.”
“You know what they say? The pyramids weren’t built in a day, babe. I have to believe that things will get better. How much worse can they be?”
Ty grabbed my hand and kissed it. “I have an idea. In lieu of everything that’s going on, and since the kids have something to do all weekend, what do you say that the two of us get away? I know you think we need to clean and do shit here, but we both need a break from reality. I say we pack a bag and we just go. I don’t care where and as long as it has a bed, I’m good.”
I looked around the room, at the bed and then back to Ty. Getting away sounded nice and I wanted to unwind. Ty really needed to. “Do you promise to help me clean Sunday?”
He crossed his heart. “Promise.”
“Then let’s pack a bag and get out of here.”
We both jumped up like we were on the run and the cops were closing in on us. I had no idea what I was throwing in the bag, and I didn’t care. Ty was right. As long as we had a bed, I didn’t care where we went. This weekend was long overdue and I had a feeling it was going to help us both immensely.
Chapter 25
Tyler
It was so spur of the moment that, even after we were in the car driving, we still didn’t know where we were heading.
We drove east, both aware that we were going in the direction of the ocean. Since it was fall, the crowds of tourist would be gone, and we’d have our pick of hotels to stay at. I think once Miranda knew where we were going she seemed a little giddy. We hadn’t been to the beach alone in years, and although we couldn’t swim, it still seemed exciting.
“I have dad watching the house and feeding the dog. I told him we’d be back by Sunday afternoon.” I reached over and grabbed her hand.
She smiled at me and leaned her head on my shoulder. “This is goin’ to be good, babe. I think we need to get our heads in the right place.”
I looked over at her and couldn’t help myself. “I know where your head should be.” I pointed between my legs, and she sat up and smacked me.
“You need to see a sex therapist.”
“What?” I couldn’t stop laughing. “I’m alone with my wife, on the way to a hotel, where I know we’re going to be naked, a lot. There’s no harm in getting things started while we’re driving.”
The more annoyed she became, the more I kept taunting her. Not only was it funny, but it also distracted me
from what was still lingering in the back of my mind. I was worried about my daughter, and regardless how far away I drove, or whatever I was doing to stay distracted, it wasn’t going to change.
I knew the weekend getaway was going to be good for both of us, but it wasn’t going to make anything better. Sure, we could all use time apart, but I had this feeling that healing wasn’t going to be that easy for Iz.
Miranda ran her hand over the inside of my thigh. I let out a chuckle and smiled. She brought her lips close to my ear and unbuckled her seatbelt. The sun was just setting, and we were on a road in the middle of nowhere. I focused on the road as she unbuttoned my pants and began to giggle.
“What’s so funny?” I asked.
“Nothin’. It’s just been a while since we did somethin’ like this. I feel like I’m a teenager and we’re goin’ to get in trouble. Just promise me that if I do this, you won’t close your eyes. I don’t care how old we are. It’s still embarassin’ havin’ to explain why we drove into a ditch.” I felt her warm hands traveling underneath the elastic to my boxers. She traced the skin of my cock with her fingertips. Even the slightest touch got me fully aroused. When she began to stroke me, I had to pay close attention to staying focused on the road. All I really wanted to do was close my eyes and enjoy what was going on.
I made it about a mile before her stroking became too intense for me to concentrate on the road. After pulling over into an abandoned driveway, turning off the car and the headlights, I was ready to enjoy what was to come next. I played with Miranda’s hair as she leaned down and took me in her mouth. Her lips were so wet and her warm saliva covered my shaft within the first stroke of her mouth.
Loving Her (Mitchell Family Series BK9) Page 14