by Bankes, Liz
Dan goes round the passenger side because the other side of the car is scarily close to the road. I get there a few moments later and the others hang back, so we don’t crowd her. Dan’s leaning half into the car and talking to Cleo. I can’t see much, except that when he tries to put his arm round her she pushes him away. Dan retreats from the car and gives me a helpless look and I signal to him to let me try. He stands back, holding the door so I can get in.
I sit in the passenger seat. Cleo has her head forward on the steering wheel. Her body is shaking with sobs.
I put my hand tentatively on her back. She tenses, but doesn’t stop me.
‘Why did the fucking cat have to die?’ she says.
‘I don’t know,’ I say.
She leans over and puts her head on my shoulder. I put my other arm round her. We stay like that for a few minutes, while Dan hovers awkwardly in the corner of my vision.
Then Cleo sits up abruptly and sniffs. She wipes her eyes on the back of her hands and takes a deep breath.
‘Jesus.’
I think she’s gradually calming down and then I notice that her expression has hardened and she is staring straight ahead without blinking. I turn towards Dan and try to signal with my eyes for him to look at her, but as I do the car vibrates and the air is filled with the sound of the engine.
Dan and I look at each other in horror and he leans back into the car.
‘Cleo, don’t!’ he shouts.
‘This is what she did,’ says Cleo, her gaze still fixed straight ahead. ‘I told her not to drive. I was outside the car, shouting at her, and then she started moving away and I jumped in so she wouldn’t be on her own.’
She revs the engine.
‘Rosie, get out,’ she says.
‘Cleo, please.’ My voice comes out with hardly any sound.
A massive lorry speeds past us, making the whole car shake. If she’d pulled out it would have hit us.
‘Cleo,’ says Dan slowly. ‘You need to get out of the car. Turn the engine off.’
‘Make Rosie get out first,’ she says and revs the engine again.
Dan pulls my arm and I slide out of the car so I’m standing next to him. My hand is still gripping the side of the seat. Relief floods through me, but I don’t want to leave Cleo.
She revs the engine again and this time the car shoots forward a metre or so. Taking me with it. My arm is caught on the seat belt and I’m dragged along the grass, the door closing on me.
I dive back into the car and lunge for the handbrake. When she tries again I pull up with all my strength. The car judders violently and then stalls.
Chapter 40
The driver comes on the announcement system and starts reading out the stations.
Cleo wedges her knee up against the seat in front and looks out of the window. She hasn’t said much about the girl who died – Marnie – but it’s clear how she felt about her.
We were sitting on the sofa after Dave the taxi man dropped us home and I was trying to think of something else we could talk about. Something not depressing. So I blurted it out.
‘You know, it’s my birthday party on the weekend and I have a spare plus-one.’
Cleo considered and then nodded.
‘Sure. I’ll drive.’
I almost had a heart attack.
‘Joke,’ Cleo said. ‘Too soon?’
* * *
I text Gabi to say that I need my plus-one again. She replies immediately.
What?! Not a boy?? Isn’t that a bit soon? I have to shuffle all the rooms round again! P.S. CAN’T WAIT TO SEE YOU!
I reply telling her it’s Cleo and then shove my phone in my bag because I’m nervous of the reply. I know the girls might find it really weird. Cleo used to go out with Jamie, before Mia got together with him, and the party is at Jamie’s family hotel. But Cleo seemed happy to come – or indifferent. It’s hard to tell with her.
She hasn’t said much. She’s reading her book. On the Road. But she’s been on the same page for quite a while. I get out my Sarah Waters book.
‘You know, you can talk about it if you want,’ I say and find my place.
‘I know,’ says Cleo. She turns the page. ‘I will. At some point.’
We read for a while.
‘Thanks,’ says Cleo.
Finally I look at my phone for Gabi’s reply. She’s sent a snapchat of her shouting, ‘O.M.G!’
As we walk up the drive, Radleigh Castle comes into view. It is set around four huge, square towers, joined to make a square. Both of the front towers are surrounded by scaffolding. Gabi said that when the Great Hall roof fell in they decided to make repairs to the entire castle at the same time. But even as a building site the place still looms impressively.
Gabi’s standing on the stone steps that lead up to the large, wooden front doors. She’s wearing a smart blue dress, has her hair tied back and a serious expression on her face. I almost don’t recognise her. Then when she sees me she shrieks and breaks into a mad run and she looks like Gabi again.
‘ARGH! Happy birthday! And welcome!’
She leaps onto me and nearly knocks me over. When she finally releases me she looks at Cleo.
‘Hey, Rosie’s new plus-one.’
‘Hi . . .’ says Cleo.
‘You have to promise you won’t kill Mia in her sleep or anything. She’s still terrified of you. You know, after the stealing-your-boyf drama.’
‘I promise . . .’ says Cleo. ‘I’ve got Rosie to keep an eye on me.’
‘Yeah,’ says Gabi, sounding relieved. ‘Watch out – Rosie can do a good sleeper-hold and no one knows where she learnt it.’
Gabi ushers us into the castle reception, which is through a smaller door in the right-hand turret. We have to go down a makeshift corridor through the building works and Gabi greets all the builders.
As we climb the stairs to go to our room and put our bags away, Gabi turns back to me and mouths, ‘Are you okay?’
Immediately sadness floods through me and tears spring into my eyes. But I nod and force a smile. Gabi squeezes my hand.
‘You will be,’ she whispers.
Walking along the corridor, with the latticed windows looking down onto the courtyard on one side and the portraits of stern-looking people in wigs on the other, Gabi starts to explain her schedule for the day and evening. She is refreshing her phone every few seconds.
‘Where is Max? He’s half an hour late! Worst best boy chum ever. Grrr! Canapés!’
She’s looking through the window and then she rushes off to sort out whatever food-related disaster it is that she’s noticed.
I’m secretly glad Max isn’t here yet. It’ll only make me want to ask him about Cal.
There’s a squeak of floorboards behind us and we look round to see Mia. She is eyeing Cleo warily.
‘All right?’ she says and nods, clearly trying to act casual.
‘Um, yeah,’ replies Cleo. Then she starts walking away down the corridor. ‘So where’s our room?’
Mia goes to follow her, but pauses as she passes me.
‘I’m going to clear the air.’
‘Oh good luck! She’s quite nice really,’ I say.
‘Hmm,’ says Mia. ‘Don’t think I made the best start, saying “all right” and nodding like a man.’
I laugh and she starts to go after Cleo again, but then turns back.
‘Are you okay?’
I nod, smile, blink a lot.
* * *
ALL GATHER AT THE FRONT OF THE CASTLE
It wasn’t really necessary for Gabi to text, as we could all hear her shouting in the courtyard. Apparently there’s a surprise.
I walk out onto the stone steps.
On the drive is a horse and carriage.
‘We get to go twice round the block! I got it for you because you like all those films with people with bonnets in them.’ Gabi beams.
‘Oh my God!’ I stare at her, open-mouthed. ‘This is amazing, Gabi!’
&nb
sp; She assures me that she got it ‘on the cheap’ – the company were here for a wedding and the driver owed her a favour because she snuck him food out of the reception.
‘Now there isn’t loads of room,’ she tells us. ‘So the actual carriage ride is just for the girls.’
We look around. It’s me, Cleo, Gabi, Mia, Nish and her girlfriend, Effie.
‘There aren’t any boys here, Gabi,’ says Nish.
‘Where IS Max?’ bursts out Gabi. ‘He was really looking forward to meeting a horse. He says he’s never seen one in real life – how mental is that? He’s such a weirdo.’
Once we are sitting in the carriage we manage to get Gabi to stop calling Max and put her phone away. Twice around the block is actually a long way when the block is the grounds of Radleigh Castle. We go down a path lined with trees that has a fountain at the end and along a river, until the castle is nearly out of sight.
We come up the castle drive for the second time, the carriage bumping along on the gravel and bits of stone flying into the air, thrown by the horse’s hooves.
‘The castle looks awesome arriving like this,’ Nish says to me.
But I don’t respond.
Because standing in front of the castle in the distance are two figures. Both tall, but one lanky and the other well built, like a rugby player.
‘Max!’ shouts Gabi. ‘God – about time. Who’s that? . . . Oh.’
Everyone turns to look at me. My mouth is dry and my heart feels like it’s stuck in my throat. Why is he here?
The carriage skids to a halt.
It’s gone past Cal and Max, so I have my back to them now. I hear Cal greeting people and helping them get down out of the carriage, but I’m too scared to look at him. Then it’s my turn. I take his hand.
For a brief second we are holding hands and my eyes meet his. Hope, excitement and fear all shoot through me at the same time and for a second Cal and I are the only two people in the world. And then it’s over. The other people come back into focus and we are standing in a group outside the castle.
‘So – you’re here!’ Gabi says to Cal.
He grins. ‘I was hoping I could still be Rosie’s plus-one.’
‘Right!’ shouts Gabi. ‘Come on, Max. Help me shuffle the rooms again. Rosie – stop making friends.’
The others perform some sort of orchestrated manoeuvre and all speed up at the same time, leaving me and Cal to walk into the castle together.
My heart buzzes just at the sight of him. I keep treating myself to looks as we walk.
‘I hope it’s okay that I came,’ he says.
‘Of course! Yes, no – it’s brilliant!’
Stop saying things.
‘I just thought – if we’re going to be friends.’
It’s like a kick in the chest. I try to keep my face normal as he carries on talking.
‘I talked to the others this morning – I heard about Nigel. I’m gutted! I think they’re having the funeral today.’
I tell him about Simon’s plan to put Nigel in a burning boat and he laughs.
‘They were so jealous about us coming here,’ he says.
I look at him. He has a mischievous glint in his eye.
‘No! We can’t invite them,’ I say. ‘Gabi will have a breakdown.’
‘Maybe I can talk her round.’ He grins. ‘It would be awesome, wouldn’t it?’
‘Yeah, it would,’ I say.
There’s a pause and I just look at him.
‘What?’ he says. He sounds like he’s holding his breath.
I want to tell him how good it is to see him. How much I’ve missed him.
I swallow.
‘Nothing.’ I smile at him. One of those rubbish, awkward, fake smiles.
‘Okay,’ he says. And we walk inside to find Gabi.
* * *
‘So when you say “a couple more people” you mean two, don’t you?’ says Gabi. ‘Because “a couple” is two.’
‘I said “a few”,’ says Cal, giving her a pleading look.
‘You didn’t,’ says Gabi firmly.
We’ve been sitting out in the courtyard playing board games, while Gabi gets the evening party ready around us. About an hour later we hear the sound of a noisy engine approaching. Cal and I follow Gabi out to the front of the castle. A mint-green Ford Fiesta is on its way along the driveway. It skids to a halt at the end of the drive and the housemates climb out.
‘Right. Who are you?’ says Gabi.
There’s a beat.
‘We’re Rosie’s plus-ones,’ says Arlo.
‘Apparently you are,’ she says. ‘All three of you.’
Gabi starts flicking through her notepad and muttering darkly, while giving me evils. She shakes her fist at me. ‘If it wasn’t your birthday, Hunter!’ Then she turns back to the car. ‘Max is the porter and he will take your bags.’
Max appears at the top of the steps and trudges down, stopping to yank up his jeans, which always hang too low.
‘Max is the porter!’ says Cal. ‘Where’s your uniform, bro?’
‘I had one for him, but he refused to wear it,’ says Gabi.
Dan says that they can all take their own bags, which Max doesn’t argue with, but he does give them a hand getting them out.
‘Oh my God.’ Dan suddenly stops as he walks towards the steps. ‘Nigel. We never had the funeral. She’s still on the kitchen table!’
‘Oh no, I put her in the boot,’ says Arlo, who is standing next to him.
We all stare at him in stunned silence.
‘There’s another one of you?’ says Gabi.
‘Hey, someone’s left their coat,’ says Max from over by the car.
His scream echoes off the castle turrets.
Chapter 41
The next activity is swimming, but most people sit around the pool and don’t go in. Jamie’s in front of the doors with Mia. He looks the same as ever. Messy blond hair, stubble and a slightly bad-tempered expression with a hint of amusement. Mia has a choppy, shorter new haircut and I notice that she keeps staring off into the distance. Maybe her head is already in Australia.
Arlo sidles up to Jamie.
‘Excuse me. Can we bury our cat in your grounds?’ he says.
Jamie frowns and then turns to Mia. ‘Who is this person?’
‘His name is Arlo and he’s a gatecrasher,’ says Gabi, narrowing her eyes.
‘So how about it? Nigel deserves a fitting send-off,’ says Dan.
There’s an edge of defiance to the way he grins at Jamie.
‘Um, no?’ says Jamie.
‘Come, Jay, don’t be so grumpy.’ Mia waves her hand at him dismissively. ‘They can bury him in the woods —’
‘Her,’ interrupts Dan.
‘— and no one will ever know,’ finishes Mia.
Jamie looks at her for a second. ‘Yes, dear,’ he says and then wanders off a few metres and lights a cigarette. He nearly walks into Simon, who says, ‘Hey man, you got a light?’
‘Yes,’ says Jamie and holds out his lighter.
‘Do you also have a cigarette?’ says Simon.
Jamie turns back to Mia. ‘Why do people I don’t know keep talking to me?’
‘I think we need to do some introductions,’ says Gabi. She takes a deep breath.
‘Right. So Jamie and Cleo used to go out and now Jamie’s with Mia, who’s my best friend, and I used to go out with Max, but now we’re just friends – well, maybe a bit more. Anyway, why do we always have to put a label on things? So Mia used to go out with Dan, and Dan used to work here, and he keeps looking at Cleo in a funny way, so maybe something’s going on there, and Rosie, who’s the birthday girl – happy birthday, Rosie! – and also one of my best friends, used to go out with Cal, or maybe they’re back together – I haven’t heard the latest and Rosie is secretive – and Cal is Max’s brother, and these people are his housemates Simon and Arlo, apparently, and our other best friend is Nish and her girlfriend is Effie and they’ve been toge
ther for, like, ever and they were friends with Cleo back when Cleo was going out with Jamie.’
She stops to draw breath. ‘Wow, guys. As a group we should really branch out a bit more.’
Gabi is also sceptical of the cat funeral at first, until we tell her she can organise it, and then she adds it to the schedule.
‘It means you get less time swimming,’ she says, ‘but it’s your funeral . . .’
She waits.
‘Oh come on, guys. That was really good!’
‘I think I’ll give this a miss,’ says Jamie.
‘Me too,’ says Cleo quickly.
The other housemates and I catch each other’s eyes and none of us says anything.
Mia turns back to Jamie and asks him if he’s okay. He looks surprised for a moment and then his expression softens. He takes her hand and pulls her closer.
‘I’m fine. Don’t you worry. And don’t be long at your cat funeral.’
He goes to kiss her, but then looks up and realises we are all watching. And we realise we are watching them. As one, we turn to go and leave them to have their private moment. Except Gabi, who is pulled away by Max.
A few moments later Mia catches us up. In the distance we hear Jamie as he says to Cleo, ‘So, how’s student life? Is it all not washing and drinking wine from mugs?’
I’m walking next to Mia. She looks back at them for just a second and then carries on.
‘Do you mind them hanging out?’ I ask.
‘What?’ she says. ‘Oh no, it’s not that. It’s just – there’s so many things to sort for Australia. Jamie’s done a lot of it, but I’m still stressed. I’ve been a bit stroppy with him, actually – might have to get him some sort of gift to apologise for being a knob.’
She smiles at me and I return it, but my stomach twists painfully like it does every time I remember I’m not with Cal. I envy Mia and Jamie. They’re so at ease with each other. It doesn’t seem like they would let stupid things like jealousy wreck what they have.
Unlike me and Cal, who broke at the first sign of trouble.
The funeral is moving, if a little odd. The four housemates are the pallbearers and carry the shoebox over to a hole that Dan dug. Dan officiates and Simon reads a eulogy that Arlo has written, because Arlo hates public speaking. That bit all runs smoothly except when Simon finds Arlo’s writing hard to read and instead of ‘She would lick my face in the morning to wake me up’ he says, ‘She would kick my face every morning to wake me up.’