“Kitty Cat,” Alex murmured before he pulled her into his arms.
“I’m okay, Alex.”
“Well, I’m not, so you’ll have to suck it up.” After a moment, he whispered, “I felt it, you know.”
“What?” she whispered back.
“I knew something had happened. I can’t explain it, but I felt your fear as if it were in my own blood. I didn’t understand it at first but, when my phone rang minutes later, I knew what it was.”
Their twin bond; if Cat could have destroyed it to save him pain, she would have, but she was thankful for it all the same. “I’m sorry, Alex.”
“You took ten years off my life, Kitty Cat. I’m sure Rebecca might have something to say about that; those were her years, you know.” He, too, dropped a kiss on her head and let go.
Cat got hugs from Rebecca – whose lavender scent reminded her of Eddie – Nate, and Charlie, before Grace came over for hers.
“Cat,” Grace whispered in a trembling voice as they hugged fiercely.
“I’m all right, but Edward was hurt,” she whispered.
Grace squeezed her tighter; she was still the only one who knew how much Edward was coming to mean to her. “He’s all right, isn’t he? That’s what I was told.”
Cat nodded, then pulled back. “He’s okay, but it could have been worse. He saved me.”
Grace squeezed Cat’s hand. “He’s okay, Cat. Remember that. He’ll be back on duty soon, and you can thank him when he is.”
“You all right, Kitty Cat?” Marcello said from across the room. Unlike the others, he didn’t rush over to her. Cat understood. Marcello needed to keep an emotional distance to do his job; he felt too much if he didn’t.
“I’m all right. I’m just worried. What’s going on? What’s being done?”
“Why don’t you tell us what happened first?” Marcello said. “I’ve got the reports from Bash’s team, and the one you gave them, but I’d like to hear yours directly.”
Cat nodded and took a seat, as did everyone else. “Everything was fine. Yesterday wasn’t an issue, and neither was this morning.” It seemed like so long ago. “We’d gone for a walk as I wanted to see more of the farm. It’s so peaceful and quiet there, well, except for Ed-Edward’s nieces.” She barely caught herself from calling him Eddie; she’d have to be more careful.
“His nieces?” Alex asked.
“Yes. One of his sisters lives there with her husband and daughters. The two eldest love to argue, but it’s also clear they love each other.”
“Sounds familiar, doesn’t it?” Genevieve asked her husband.
Gabriel’s lips twitched under his mustache. “Yes, it does. Our daughters were much the same. I didn’t realize the agent’s sister lived there.”
Marcello nodded. “He’s heavily fortified it. I won’t go into details, but it’s always being monitored and his team is solid. What happened on your walk, Kitty Cat?”
She knew everyone was using the nickname to calm her; none of them knew she wouldn’t be calm until she saw Eddie again. “Edward got a call from his team, I think, telling him to secure me. We were just making our way quickly back to the house when it happened.
“I didn’t immediately realize what had happened. The first bullet went into a tree near us. I heard a popping and a rattle, then the second bullet hit nearby. Edward pushed me behind a tree, and told me to get down. Then he threw his body over mine to protect me.”
She swallowed. “The next bullet hit him. I didn’t realize that immediately, either.”
She took a moment to relive the scene; she knew she’d never forget it. She took a deep breath to calm her trembling body. “I guess Edward found a way to contact his team, though I didn’t see it. Barely a minute later, some of his team members found us. Edward was shouting orders at them and one of them grabbed me and ran me to one of the buildings on the property. It was their command center.
“I don’t know what happened after that. I didn’t see how badly Edward was hurt. I was just rushed back here.”
“Sir,” one of the other agents said as he handed Marcello a tablet.
Her brother scrolled through the information, his eyes darkening with each slide of his finger. “Has this been verified?”
“In the process now, Sir.”
“Right,” Marcello said, his eyes somber as he looked up. “Let’s take a break.”
“We’ve barely started,” Cat cried. “I need to know what’s happening.”
“I need to verify this information first. Until I do that, there’s not much I’m willing to tell you at this point.”
Cat let out a groan of frustration and turned to Grace. “I’m not very fond of your fiancé right now.”
Grace gave her a small smile. “Why don’t we take a few minutes to chat instead? Come on.”
The pair of them went into a smaller conference room and closed the door. “How are you really doing, Cat?”
“Terrible,” she said as she flopped down in a chair, Grace taking a seat beside her.
“I understand. I’m engaged to a man who protects for a living, too, you know.”
Cat sat up. “You are. I never thought of it like that.”
“I think we’re more alike than you realize.”
“How do you handle it? Marcello’s always going off on different missions and things. Getting hurt. I know he’s been hurt in the past, even if he never told us.”
“It’s hard,” Grace said quietly. “The not knowing is the hardest. When he’s gone, I wonder if the last time I saw him will indeed be the last time.” She shook her head. “I’ll never stop worrying. You won’t, either. Not if you come to love your Edward as much as I love Marcello.”
Her Edward. He was hers. The thought buoyed her. “Thanks, Grace.”
“You don’t need to tell me, but did, er, something happen between you and Edward? Something you couldn’t tell the others?”
Cat sighed. “Is it that obvious?”
“Only to me. Tell me.”
Cat told her almost everything, only holding back the details of his past that wasn’t hers to share. She talked about their moonlight stroll, sharing each other’s stories and thoughts, their morning lovemaking. “It was amazing, and easily the most passionate experience I’ve ever had in my life. We were walking back to the house when everything happened. I still haven’t even had a chance to shower. I feel as though I still smell like him.”
“You do, but I think the others attributed that to him covering your body with his to save your life.”
“I’m not even wearing underwear,” Cat whispered, even though they were the only ones in the room. “I feel practically naked.”
“I have some clothes you can borrow. Ever since this mess started, I’ve kept a bag packed and I picked it up before being ushered in here again.”
Cat gave Grace’s waif-like figure a dubious glance. “I’m a bit, er, bigger than you, Grace.”
Grace laughed. “Don’t worry, we’ll make do.”
A knock came at the door and Rebecca entered. “Am I intruding?”
“Not at all, come in,” Grace said.
Rebecca took a seat by Cat, her eyes filled with unshed tears. “Are you really okay? I’ve been so worried.”
“I’m fine, but I can see you’re not.”
Rebecca burst out crying. “It’s just stress, that’s all,” she said through the sobs as she hastily pulled a handkerchief from her pocket. “Everyone was so tense while you were gone, and everything’s just out of control.”
Cat and Grace exchanged a look before Cat took Rebecca’s hand. “There’s something else going on, isn’t there? Something no one’s telling us?”
“Of-Of-Of course not,” she said, stuttering through the sobs.
“Rebecca–” Cat began, but Grace interrupted.
“This is something to do with you, isn’t it? Not the threat? Not your wedding dress?”
Rebecca sobs lessened to heavy breaths and sniffles. “It doesn
’t matter. This is more serious.”
“What’s wrong?” Cat asked, but Rebecca just shook her head. “Please? I’d love to worry about someone else’s problems right now.”
“But if I told you, you’d know it was your problem, too, and you’ve got enough to worry about.” Rebecca shook her head and whipped up from her chair. Before she got to the door, Cat had risen to stop her.
“Does Alex know about this?”
There was a beat before Rebecca slowly shook her head.
She hadn’t told Alex? Cat was becoming extremely alarmed. Rebecca never kept things from Alex. “Tell me. Let me try and help.”
“You can’t help with this. No one can.” She started crying again.
Cat pulled her into her arms and let her tears come. She tried to think about what might be the cause, but was coming up short. “Is it the wedding?” Rebecca shook her head against Cat’s shoulder. “Your parents?” Another head shake. “Then what?”
“It’s me,” she finally whispered. “There’s something wrong with me.”
“What?” Cat whispered. “What do you mean?” When Rebecca didn’t speak, Cat shifted them towards the chairs again.
“I’ll give you two some privacy,” Grace said as she stood to leave.
“No, don’t,” Rebecca said quickly. “I think you might be able to understand how I’m feeling, but it might upset you to hear it. If you don’t feel comfortable staying after hearing that, I’ll completely understand.”
“Of course I’ll stay,” she said immediately and sat back down.
“What’s going on?”
Rebecca’s tears hadn’t ebbed and she slowly, futilely brushed them aside. “I may not be able to have children.”
Both Cat and Grace gasped. “I’m so sorry to hear that,” Grace said. Though she and Marcello were trying, she wasn’t sure she could ever have children, either, so she knew exactly how Rebecca felt.
“You said you ‘may’ not be able to have children. You’re not sure yet?” Cat asked.
Rebecca shook her head. “I’ve had a lot of tests done by a doctor, though not the palace-approved one. I’m waiting to find out.”
“Why do you think something’s wrong? Did something happen?” Grace asked softly. Grace’s own potential infertility rose from a miscarriage she’d had while married to her now deceased husband, who’d been quite abusive. Cat knew Alex was nothing like him, but wondered herself if a miscarriage was involved.
Rebecca haltingly told them about the pain she’d felt, the excessive bleeding, and her visits to the doctor. “I know this isn’t as important as what’s going on. I’m sorry to trouble you with it.”
“Rebecca,” Cat began, a hint of frustration clear in her voice, “you should have mentioned something sooner. You shouldn’t have to go through something like this alone.”
“But everything could change if I can’t have children. Alex–”
Cat scoffed. “You’re crazy if you think Alex will do anything but love you. He’s never letting you go.”
“But the family line–”
“–will continue, just not through Alex,” she said as she crossed her arms over her chest, haughty princess returning in full force. “There are several other royal children, even if neither you or Grace can conceive, for God’s sake. You’re both members of this family now, and you’re not going anywhere if I have anything to say about it.”
“But, Cat,” Rebecca began, “that means having an heir will fall to you next.”
Cat’s arms fell lax and her face paled. Good God. She hadn’t thought of it like that.
“I see you finally get my meaning. Now your mother will force you to marry and have children right away.” Rebecca wiped more tears away. “She’ll probably make you marry Philip at this point, and I know you’re not in love with him.”
Philip. Good God. No. She wanted Eddie. She didn’t belong to Philip, she belonged to her Eddie. “Oh my God.”
Her Eddie, who’d just taken a bullet for her.
Her Eddie, who’d made passionate love to her just that morning.
Her Eddie, who had a past full of tragedy, yet still had a bright light for his girls.
“Oh my God.” What would she do? What could she do?
“I’m sorry,” Rebecca cried. “It’s all my fault.”
“No,” Cat said instinctually, then pushed back thoughts of him to focus on the friend who needed her. She shifted one hand to rub along Rebecca’s back, another to hold her hand. “No, it’s not. This sort of thing isn’t anyone’s fault.”
“It could change everyone’s lives.”
“That’s the key word: could.” Cat had to focus on that word or go insane. “Let’s wait until the doctor comes back with your test results, all right?”
Rebecca nodded glumly just as a knock came and the door opened to Genevieve. “Ladies, are you all right?” Concern was etched in her face, her eyes darted between Cat and Rebecca.
“We’re okay, Mama.”
Genevieve pursed her lips, but nodded. “Marcello has some news. He’d like us all to come back to the main conference room.”
“We’ll be there shortly, Genevieve,” Grace said. After Genevieve gave them a last look and left the room, Grace turned to Rebecca. “Cat’s right. There’s nothing you can do but wait. It’s ridiculous, I know, but I’ve been waiting for years to find out if I can still have children.”
“Grace,” Rebecca murmured.
Grace gave her hand a sympathetic squeeze. “It’s still raw, that’s why it hurts so much. Sometimes I think it’s the not knowing that actually hurts more. If I knew for sure, I could finally reconcile myself to my fate.”
“I don’t know if I’m strong enough to handle this,” Rebecca admitted.
“That’s the wonderful thing about this whole mess,” Grace said. “You don’t have to be, and you don’t need to handle this alone. You can pull any strength you need from us or even Alex, if you tell him. You’re lucky; I didn’t have anyone until Marcello came along.”
“I’m so sorry, Grace. You must think me horribly insensitive and self-absorbed.”
“Of course, I don’t think that! What a silly thing to say. You’re entitled to each and every one of your feelings. You’re human. Just because you’re practically a royal doesn’t change that fact. It doesn’t change the way your body was made or any health issues you’re having. Quite frankly, it only changes your address, and perhaps the pressures you face.”
“Grace is right,” Cat added, and went on to say the words she wished she didn’t have to. “I know we have different pressures than everyone else, but we’re all here for you. Take what you need from us.”
“Do you think I should tell Alex?”
“I think he already knows something is wrong,” Cat answered, knowing how astute her brother was. “If he hasn’t said anything yet, he’s giving you the time and space to decide when to tell him. If he sees you this upset, he won’t give you that space much longer.”
Rebecca sighed, her tears finally slowing to a stop. “I know. I’ve been crying in his arms at night, worrying. I’m just so afraid of what will happen if I say those words to him.”
“Well,” Cat began, slipping into haughty princess mode again. “As his twin, I’m often attuned to his feelings, and I can tell you exactly what he’d say.”
She cleared her throat and began a perfect impersonation of him. “Darling, I love you. You’re my life. Of course I’m sad I won’t have a daughter that looks like her mother, but I’ll have a wife I adore and an exceptional queen by my side.”
While Rebecca and Grace chuckled, Cat said, “And then I imagine he’ll kiss you or something like that, and make you forget you were ever worried in the first place. Am I right, or am I right?”
Rebecca threw her arms around Cat. “You’re right. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” Cat said softly, and prayed right then and there that Rebecca would be able to have children. Not just for Rebecca’s sak
e, but for her own.
And if that wasn’t the most selfish thought she’d ever had, she wasn’t sure what was.
While Rebecca went down the hall to freshen up, Grace and Cat made their way back to the rest of the family.
“You should take your own advice,” Grace said quietly.
“About what?”
“About not worrying until the results come back. Don’t make a rash decision until you have all the facts.”
“But if it’s true–”
“But, nothing,” Grace interrupted. “I haven’t known your mother as long as you, but I can’t imagine she’d want you to marry for duty over love. She married for love and so did Arianna. So will Alex, Nate, and, of course, Marcello. She wants that for you, she truly does.”
“Perhaps. I can’t help wondering that, if she did, she would never have issued that edict about my love life.”
Grace halted them just outside the door. “Neither of us are mothers, much less royal ones. I can’t imagine what I’d do in her situation. I do know that she loves you very much, and that she and Gabriel are very much in love, even forty years later. I’m sure she just wants that for you.”
“You can’t force love,” Cat said, and knew, in that instant, that she could never love Philip.
Because she was in love with her Eddie.
Completely, desperately in love.
And she would never love another after him. She just knew it.
Cat sighed, then opened the door and they stepped inside.
“Where’s Rebecca?” Alex asked as they took their seats.
“She’s coming in a few minutes. What’s the news?”
“I think I can answer that,” a voice called from the doorway, and she gasped at the sound of his voice. As she turned, along with everyone else in the room, every nerve in her body went on alert.
Edward stood in the doorway. He was still clad in jeans, but a different t-shirt covered his lean frame. A stark, white bandage around his arm was clearly visible against his tanned skin.
She’d seen that skin up close and personal when he’d pinned her against the wall with his cock, but hadn’t been given a chance to explore it.
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