Between Sand and Stardust

by Tina Michele

  “I know. It’s funny how some things work and others don’t. I’d watch all these couples break up and get back together twenty times over and wonder why we never got that chance. Seemed unfair somehow.”

  Willa had wanted to reach out to Haven so many times, but as time passed it became harder and harder to make that move. She’d thought about her often during her radiation treatment when she was quarantined and alone for days on end. “After what I did to you, I can’t believe you would ever have wanted me back.”

  “We’d been together so long and known each other our whole lives, there had never been anything we couldn’t work through if we wanted. I thought it was just a matter of time. But then…you never came back.” Haven’s voice cracked with emotion.

  Willa could no longer hold back the tears as her heart broke hearing the pain in Haven’s voice. “I couldn’t, Haven. What if I lost my eye? They talked about taking it out. How could you be with someone like that?” Willa was sick to her stomach remembering when the doctor gave her that as an option.

  Haven looked at Willa. The moon reflected off her tearstained face. “How could you think that would even matter to me? You didn’t even give me a chance to show you that what we had was in here.” Haven pressed her hand against Willa’s chest.

  Willa held Haven’s hand in place over her heart. For the first time in years, Willa realized she was right. Across miles and years, Haven still owned each beat of Willa’s heart. “And now it’s too late.”

  They sat in a painful silence with the cool night creeping into Willa’s skin and into her soul as she held her breath for Haven’s response. When she finally spoke, the words sent a frozen spike through her heart. “For some things, it might be.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Willa stretched and rolled over. Her eyes flung open wide when she saw that Corey was sitting on the edge of her bed. “Morning!” Corey said as Willa all but jumped out of her skin in surprise.

  “What the hell, man?”

  “Wakey, wakey! Where did you disappear to last night?”

  “What time is it?” Willa hadn’t slept so soundly since she’d been at camp. It was a welcome change. All except for the last thirty seconds.

  “It’s eight o’clock. They rang the breakfast bell twenty minutes ago, and when you didn’t come they sent me over to check on you.”

  “Wow.”

  “Yeah, wow. Have you ever slept this late? Even Haven seemed a bit concerned when you didn’t show up.”

  “Haven? Concerned about me? She said that?”

  “Yes. Well, not with words so much. Mama Lu asked me if I’d seen you, and when Haven overheard that you were AWOL she coincidentally began pacing and peering out the windows.”

  Willa smiled. “Interesting.”

  “I thought you’d think so. Now come on! It’s field day today, with horseback riding and paddleboarding on the lake, and later there’s a cornhole tournament. But right now MC is making homemade pancakes as big as your freaking head.” Corey jumped up and down on the edge of the bed.

  “Ha! Okay. Okay. But stop jumping before I pee myself.” Corey hopped up off the bed and made room for Willa to get to the bathroom before she made good on her statement.

  “And hurry up before Haven wears a rut in the floorboards waiting for you.”

  “Shut up. I’ll be right there.”

  “All right. I’ll go let everyone know you’re fine.”

  Willa couldn’t help but feel a little anxious and excited to see Haven this morning. She jumped in and took a quick shower before getting dressed and rushing across the yard to the lodge. It was strange how different this morning felt from all the others. There was a sense of peacefulness and optimism that filled the air accentuated by the soft morning light breaking over the mountains. Just as Corey had said, Haven stood at the window and stared out toward the cabins. A smile spread across Haven’s face when they saw each other for the first time that day. It was going to be a great day. Willa knew it.

  Haven met her at the front door when she reached the porch. She offered her a polite good morning and told her about the enormous pancakes Corey had mentioned. It wasn’t anything significant, but it was more than Willa had gotten from her in five days and it made her morning.

  They hadn’t been kidding about the size of MC’s noggin-sized flapjacks. They were monstrous and filled with anything she could’ve wanted, from berries and nuts to peanut butter and jelly had it been requested. Willa placed her special order for her breakfast and made a plate of bacon and eggs while she waited.

  There were three different sign-up sheets hanging on the wall in the dining room. One was for horseback riding, one for massages, and the other for those interested in playing in the cornhole tournament. Willa made a note to herself to sign up for everything after she was finished eating breakfast. Which she realized could take all day when MC delivered her pancake order.

  “It won’t hurt his feelings if you can’t eat the whole thing,” Haven said as she took the seat next to Willa and slid over a cup of coffee.

  Willa smiled. “I can. I just don’t think I should.”

  “Not if you plan on moving at all for the rest of the day. Speaking of, I don’t see your name up there yet.” Haven motioned toward the sign-up sheets.

  “I haven’t gotten there.”

  “Well, it looks like you’re not left with many options, sleepyhead. It’s not like you to miss a sunrise, if I recall correctly.”

  “True. Unless I’m out late the night before.”

  “I see. Well, you should finish eating and get your name up there or you’ll miss all the fun.” Haven got up from the table and disappeared into the kitchen.

  Willa watched her go before getting up to put her name on each of the lists. Since she was late getting up, she had to finish eating, get changed, and be at the barn in less than thirty minutes for the first trip of the day. Part of her had hoped for more time spent with Haven, but she also wanted to try her hand at all of the things she’d never done before, things that Haven enjoyed.

  Willa’s morning was spent riding through the forest and along creeks of the Rocky Mountains, and then relaxing with an hour-long massage. As she made her way up from the spa she heard the laughter and ruckus coming from the lake. MC, Scrat, and Mateo had pulled out several stand-up paddleboards and were giving lessons to those interested. Corey spotted Willa and hollered for her to join them. She hadn’t been interested in putting herself into any physically demanding activities so soon after a massage, but then she spotted Haven. “Is there anything that woman can’t do?” she asked herself.

  “Not when she puts her mind to it. She’s obnoxiously stubborn that way,” Wendy said as she trekked up behind Willa.

  “Oh, hey. It certainly seems so.”

  “Get changed and go down. You could learn a thing or two from her.”

  “I’m realizing that. I’ll see you down there,” Willa said before she rushed off to change.

  It didn’t take her long to get into her suit and then down to the lake where everyone was trying out their SUPing skills, or lack of them. By now Corey and Haven were involved in some sort of paddleboard handstand competition that she wanted nothing to do with. Diego was whipping around making figure-eight movements that resembled a surfer in the ocean. Considering that she lived in Florida, it always surprised people when she told them that she’d never been on a paddleboard.

  “Willa! Stop being a chicken and get your feathers out here,” Corey yelled from where she had joined up with the girls now doing yoga poses in the middle of the lake.

  “Ha! I get it now,” Haven called. “Willa. Free range. Chickens. Ha!” The revelation had broken her concentration and sent Haven toppling over into the lake.

  Willa held her breath until Haven popped out of the water with an enormous grin. “Oh, good grief.”

  * * *

  Once back onto her SUP, Haven saw that Willa was getting a quick lesson in the art of paddleboarding and getting
into her PFD. Everyone had opted for little more than suits and trunks. Haven knew Willa was going to be rather startled by the temp of the mountain lake. The lake was a cool sixty degrees. Her assumption was confirmed by Willa’s shout when she stepped into the water and then onto the board. “And here I thought it was gators I had to worry about! Damn!”

  Haven laughed because she completely understood Willa’s wariness of water. It reminded Haven of all the times they had caught and wrestled any gator under five feet just for funsies. She knew there was a world of difference between you sneaking up on them and the other way around. Even so, it probably wasn’t one of their wisest adventures. Even though she knew better, the thought of alligators made Haven pull up her feet.

  Corey called out for Willa to meet them in the center of the lake. But by the looks of it, it was going to take her more than a few minutes to make it that far. Willa resembled a newborn fawn on fresh legs as she danced awkwardly on top of the board. Scrat stepped into the water and showed Willa an easier way to start out. She held the SUP steady as Willa lowered herself onto her knees and sat back on her feet. Haven knew Willa’s best chance of staying on the board was to lower her center of gravity until she could get the hang of balancing herself upright. Haven smiled.

  “That girl is bound and determined to impress you. Or at least die trying,” Corey said as she floated up alongside Haven.

  “Impress me? What?”

  “You’re kidding, right? She hasn’t stopped pushing herself since she got here.”

  “Shut up.” Haven laughed nervously. “Why?” The Willa she knew was only worried about not looking like a fool.

  “Come on. You’re practically Superman. Kayaking the wild whitewater of Colorado, risking your life when someone needs you, forging through the pain to fulfill your passion. I’m not even gay, and you’ve got me hot and bothered.” Corey laughed.

  “Oh geez. I’m not Superman. You know that I did this by smashing it between two pieces of wood, right?” Haven held up her healing, but still damaged, hand.

  Corey scrunched up her face. “Well, it goes way beyond that. I mean, look at how hard she’s trying.” She pointed over to where Willa was finally making her way out into the water toward them.

  “Oh my. It might be faster if we meet halfway.”

  “No. Let’s make her work for it,” Corey said.

  Haven liked the way Corey thought. She was flattered by the idea that Willa was working for it and doing what she could to impress her. Willa had always had Haven’s heart and never had to do much to win her over. She certainly never had to go out of her way to try to impress her. It was kind of nice. And dammit, she looked so great trying even if her technique was a whole lot of mess. “There you go. Stay centered,” Haven said as Willa floated toward them.

  “Oh, for heaven’s sake, Willa. Put your back into it!” Corey said.

  “Hey! I’ll get there when I get there. And when I do…”

  “What? You’ll tip over.”

  “No!” Willa yelled, and as she did, her balance faltered. She danced back and forth.

  Corey burst out laughing, and Haven tried to keep a straight face. “It’s all right. You’ll get it. Just takes practice.” Haven turned to Corey. “I’d be careful. She’ll get you when you least expect it.”

  “So it seems.” Corey winked at Haven.

  “Wha—Hey, you made it!” Haven welcomed Willa to the middle of the lake.

  “I did.”

  “Great. Are you ready to learn how to perform the standing part of stand-up paddleboarding?”

  Willa’s expression was uncertain. “I guess so.”

  “Can I just sit back and watch?” Corey asked.

  Willa smirked at her. “Yes. Do that. Lean all the way back. Like right into the water.”

  Haven laughed. The relationship these two had built in the last few days surprised her. They bantered like siblings and giggled like childhood friends. It brought out a side of Willa that was so rare and authentic, and one that she had once been lucky enough to experience. It made her happy to see Willa share that with someone else, and also a little jealous. “Okay, kids. Play nice.”

  “Yeah, Willa.”

  “Shut it. Now go away so I can concentrate.”

  “Not a chance.”

  Haven took the brief pause in their sisterly badgering to interrupt and start teaching Willa how to SUP. “Okay, both of you. Let’s do this.”

  Haven positioned herself onto her knees and instructed Willa to first watch her. She placed her paddle across the board several inches in front of her knees. Slowly, she replaced each knee with her foot and moved into a squatting position. With her feet planted and her body balanced over the center of the board, she lifted her paddle and stood upright. “And there we go. You try.”

  Willa looked at Haven like she had just performed a miracle and walked on water. “Uh. Yeah. Easy for you to say.”

  Haven knelt back down. “Take your time. Just keep your feet shoulder width apart and get your balance before you stand up. You can do it. Ready?” Haven looked into Willa’s eyes and locked onto them. She relayed each step to her without breaking the contact. It was an intense connection, and Haven could almost feel the energy sparking between them. They moved in unison through each step until they were almost upright. “Now, stand.”

  “Or poop. You look like you’ve gotta poop.”

  “Corey!” Haven whipped her head in her direction. She laughed with Corey until they heard the “oh shit” and then the splash.

  Corey broke out in maniacal laughter, and Haven tried not to when a soaking wet Willa popped up from the water and threw herself onto the board. “Dammit, it’s fucking freezing.”

  “Oh my gosh. Are you okay?” Haven asked through stifled snorts of laughter.

  “I am. But she isn’t going to be.” Willa snarled and lunged at Corey, making her spook and jerk backward. The sudden movement threw Corey’s own balance off, and she toppled back into the water with her own curse and a splash.

  It was now Haven’s turn to lose her composure and break down into hysterics. “You guys are ridiculous. So childish.” Sure she thought it was childish, but in an “adulting sucks” kind of way.

  “Childish?” Willa looked incredulous. “Corey, did you hear that?”

  Corey feigned shock and surprise. “Why, Willa, I do believe she has just sullied our honor.”

  Even Haven knew what was coming next, but she had no way of escaping them. Willa grabbed onto the stern of Haven’s board, while Corey latched onto the back. She dropped down onto her butt to keep from falling in. Haven gripped the side rails of her SUP as Willa and Corey rocked it back and forth, trying to dump her into the water with them. She refused to give in. The board was far too long and wide to simply turn over, so as long as she could keep her grip Haven could hold out.

  “Come on in, baby. The water’s fine.”

  The sultry sound of Willa calling her baby undid more than her grip on the board. A wave of butterflies fluttered through her. Her body was weak and her resistance was down, allowing Willa to reach up, take her by the waist, and pull her into the water. The shock of the icy water was nothing to fight the heat that built within her as Willa held her close.

  * * *

  Willa could’ve spent all day floating in the water with Haven in her arms. However, in spite of the desire boiling in her core, she was beginning to lose feeling in her feet. There was nothing quite like reality to bring her out of the moment. Before Willa could release her, Haven put both hands on Willa’s head and dunked her under the surface. The sudden face-freezing rush cause her to relinquish her hold and let Haven go. “Jeeezus! That’s enough.”

  All three of them shimmied themselves back onto their boards, and Willa willed the sun’s energy to reverse her hypothermia. After several minutes, she was warm enough to have full use of her extremities. In spite of her desire to master the art of standing on a paddleboard, she was more than okay with trying it again some
other time. Like when the water wasn’t two degrees above freezing and Haven wasn’t there to distract her.

  The lunch bell rang from the lodge and everyone raced toward the shore. The smell of barbecued meat made Willa’s stomach growl loudly. In spite of her desire to run like a starving wolf toward the scent, she stayed to help Haven out of the water and pull up her board.

  “You don’t have to do that,” Haven said.

  “I know.”

  “I think there’s a brisket up there with your name on it.”

  Willa’s eyes grew to the size of dinner plates. “You didn’t.”

  “I did.” Haven smiled, and Willa’s entire body quivered.

  She didn’t know what she was more excited over, the fact that Haven made a brisket, or that she remembered and made one for her. There was nothing in the world that could compare with Haven’s hardwood smoked beef brisket. Willa was surprised she didn’t have gluttonous dreams about the delicious slab of meat. Her mouth was already watering with anticipation. Willa didn’t know which of them she wanted more at that moment. “You’re killing me. Corey, you will not believe how good this thing is. It’s heaven in your mouth.”

  “I must say I’m a little uncomfortable with your excitement over a piece of meat,” Corey said.

  “You say that now.”

  “It’s actually pretty good,” Haven confirmed.

  “And you made it just for her. How sweet.” Corey winked, and Willa saw Haven blush.

  Willa was the first in line for lunch, and she had no shame for it. She spooned a small selection of salads onto her plate but saved two-thirds of the plate for meat. She skipped the chicken, burgers, and dogs entirely. “Here,” she said as she served several slices to Corey as well.

  “Whoa. That’s enough.” She stopped Willa before she put the last piece onto her plate. Willa shrugged and gladly put it on hers instead.

  She and Corey sat at the table, and Willa wasted no time before she dug into her food. It tasted just as she had remembered, “full of love and a dry rub,” as Haven had always joked. As she stuffed her face with lunch, she noticed the new sheet that Wingman hung in place of the tournament sign-up. The names had been rearranged into teams, and Willa’s stood out boldly next to Haven’s. “What?” she asked with a mouthful of brisket.