Between Sand and Stardust

by Tina Michele

  “Ohhh, yeah. They put that up while you were getting your massage. Such fun, right. I guess since we can’t be on a team together, that’s the next best thing. Ha!”

  “Why do I think you had something to do with this?” Willa raised her eyebrow at Corey.

  “Meee? Nooo.”

  “That’s fine. You don’t realize what you’ve done. Back home, we’re standing champs of Nancy’s Memorial Day BBQ and Cornhole Tournament.”

  Corey laughed. “That’s fine. Shannon’s my teammate, and I heard that besides Wingman, she’s the best there is.”

  Willa stuffed a piece of meat in her mouth and said, “Until now.”

  Once everyone had their fill of barbecue, Wingman announced the teams and arranged the tournament bracket. Willa realized they didn’t kid about cornhole in Colorado either. She was sitting on the picnic table when Haven came up and handed her a wad of junk. Willa picked apart the tangle of stuff and pulled out a rainbow bandana, a sequined clown tie, Mickey Mouse ears, a pink tutu, and an inflatable alligator pool toy. “What is this?”

  Haven giggled. “So, it’s tradition during the game that we wear a fun and unique outfit to express our personality, and I picked a few things I thought we could use.”

  “Was this what was left at the bottom of the pile or what?”

  “Ha! Nope. I picked it all special. These are my lucky goggles, though,” she said as she lowered a pair of frog-shaped children’s swim goggles down over her eyes.

  Willa couldn’t help but laugh at the way they mushed her eyes and pinched her cheeks because they were way too small for her head. “How can you see anything in those?” she asked, covering her mouth to keep from cackling at how ridiculous she looked.

  “I can’t. It’s what makes me so good.” Haven pulled the goggles off with a loud sucking sound.

  “You’re a nut.”

  “I know. Now let’s get you geared up.” Willa stood and Haven held up an item in each hand for her to choose. Given the options she had no chance of selecting anything inconspicuous, so she decided to go all in. She chose the mouse ears, clown tie, and the alligator, leaving Haven the ballerina tutu that she probably picked more for herself than for Willa anyway. Haven tied up her wild blond hair into the bandana, which looked less silly and more badass than it would have on her. Willa slipped on her mouse ears and tie while Haven stepped into her skirt and pulled it up. The tulle had seen better days, but she put a punk rock spin on the whole ensemble that worked in her favor. She looked more stunning in this awkward costume than anyone else could have. Her smile, her energy, and her confidence made her glow with a bewitching beauty. “You’re captivating, Haven.” Willa reached out and brushed her fingers against Haven’s soft, blushing cheek. Willa watched as Haven’s eyes fluttered closed at the touch of her hand. Time slowed around them for that moment. Willa wanted to pull her into her arms and kiss her with a desire she hadn’t felt in years. She stepped in close and raised Haven’s chin with her fingers. Her soft pink lips parted so slightly, begging to be kissed.

  Corey’s voice broke through the spell and brought them crashing back into reality. “Let the games begin!”

  Willa could’ve strangled her for interrupting the moment, until she realized that she actually saved them from embarrassing themselves in front of everyone. Corey motioned to all of the people who now gathered around them, and she thanked her. Haven cleared her throat nervously and fidgeted with her tutu, pretending to ignore the entire situation.

  “Are you ready to kick some ass?” Willa asked Haven.

  Looking at Corey, she grinned. “Yes, I am.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  Haven second-guessed her decision to jump into Willa’s arms, but only after she was already there. It felt great to knock Shannon off her winner’s perch after almost an entire season as the tourney champion. It felt even greater to have done it with Willa. They still made a great team. Willa released Haven slowly enough so that her body slid down the front of hers in the most provocative way. The friction sparked a fire in Haven’s belly. As soon as her feet touched the ground she stepped back away from Willa. “Good game.” Haven cleared her throat and tucked an imaginary strand of hair behind her ear.

  “It was.” Willa blushed as pink as Haven felt.

  They were saved by the interruption when Wendy and Diego charged up and reminded Haven about the traditional hot tub challenge scheduled after dinner and the campfire. “Oh right. I’ll be there,” Haven said.

  “The what?” Willa asked.

  “Every camp we try to see how many campers and volunteers we can fit into the hot tub at the same time,” Wendy answered.

  “It’s steamy, and sexy,” Diego added.

  “And crazy crowded,” Haven said.

  “That sounds like a literal hot mess, but in the best way.” Willa looked right at Haven and smiled.

  “It is.” Diego winked at her.

  As soon as they were dismissed from the evening campfire, everyone scattered toward their bunks to get changed into their suits and trunks. Haven, Wendy, and Diego had already changed earlier, giving them a few extra minutes in the tub before the others arrived. There was nothing like a good soak after a day on the cold river or lake. It rounded out the experience.

  “So, things seem to have taken a turn from earlier this week,” Diego said.

  “I know. Seems this tub isn’t the only thing getting steamy,” Wendy added.

  “There’s nothing going on. We had a pretty long talk the other day and got a few things out on the table. We’re just friends. Or at least we’re trying to be.”

  “I think that’s great and all, but you can’t be friends with an ex. Not like real friends,” Diego said.

  “Why not?” Wendy and Haven asked in unison.

  “You’re joking, right?” Diego asked, looking at Wendy.

  “No. I know that’s true, I just knew that’s what she was gonna say.”

  Diego laughed. “So did I.”

  “Whatever. Give me a reason why we can’t be friends.”

  “Just one? That’s easy enough. Answer me this: do you still love her?”

  “What? Like…love love her?”

  “Yes. Do you?”

  Haven knew the answer. It was one she had asked herself a thousand times over. Every stage of their lives together she asked herself that question. Did she love Willa? The answer had been yes in junior high band class. It had been yes the night they shared the same sleeping bag when they camped. It was yes every day of the three years they were apart, and it was yes now. “I’m not going to answer that. It’s irrelevant.”

  “Unfortunately, it’s the only question that matters, Haven. You cannot be just friends with someone you’re in love with, especially if they don’t feel the same. One of you will always be wishing things were different, and they never will be. It’s not fair to you.”

  “But that’s my choice. I’d rather have her in my life as a friend than nothing at all. I’ve done that.”

  “So let me ask this. Could you be friends with her if she started dating someone else?”

  The mere thought of Willa with someone else sent a wave of sickness through her. Why would that bother her? She was dating someone else herself, and it didn’t bother Willa. Did it? She hadn’t said it had when Haven told her about Bianca the night they almost kissed. And obviously it hadn’t affected any of their encounters since then. So Willa didn’t feel the same way as she did. She could live with that, couldn’t she? The truth was, she had no idea if Willa already had a girlfriend at home. They hadn’t even talked about Willa, or her life in Florida. “Um.”

  “Hey, Willa. Corey. It’s about time y’all got here,” Wendy announced and spooked Haven out of her spiraling confusion.

  Haven saw Willa, and her entire body lit up. She had no control over how Willa made her feel, even if moments before she had been lost in her own perplexed thoughts. Willa set her towel on the bench and slipped into the tub directly across from Haven
. The move surprised Haven a little since she assumed that Willa would’ve sat next to her. A part of her might’ve even hoped, although it was probably for the best that she hadn’t. Even more so now that Diego and Wendy had gotten her mind racing with their questions.

  Soon everyone else arrived, squeezing themselves into the open spots around the tub. Willa moved across the tub and squeezed in next to Haven, and her pulse quickened. The ten-person tub now held sixteen people, with four of them squatting down in the center of the spa. Water splashed and poured over the sides onto the deck with each addition to the human soup bowl. Haven had no idea when or how it happened, but suddenly she was sitting on Willa’s lap as the count reached eighteen. Screams and squeals of laughter echoed through the darkness as everyone piled into the water.

  Once again, Haven and Willa found themselves pressed against each other, with their mouths just a heartbeat away. Whether it was the frenzy of the moment or the preoccupation of those around them, Haven closed the space between them and pressed her lips to Willa’s. Willa pulled back in disbelief, but quickly reclaimed Haven’s lips with her own. Their kiss was hard and fevered, with Willa’s arms wrapped tightly around Haven’s body.

  Haven attempted to relay three years of emotion in mere seconds of time. They were, after all, in the presence of sixteen other people, albeit in a distracted whirlwind of bodies and hot water. She didn’t know that she’d ever get another chance to feel Willa’s lips on hers, and Haven couldn’t let that moment pass by. The truth was, she would never see Willa again after they parted ways on Saturday. As much as she wished it weren’t true, she knew they wouldn’t be able to be friends. She wouldn’t be able watch Willa move on with her life, especially with someone else.

  Haven pushed herself back from Willa and got out of the tub. The cold air shocked her skin, but she needed it. Without saying a word to anyone, Haven wandered off into the night toward the safety of her bunkhouse.

  * * *

  Haven was embarrassed to show her face the next morning at breakfast. She didn’t regret that she had kissed Willa, just the way she’d run away afterward. Her dreams had been filled to the brim with images of Willa and various arrangements of their bodies entwined together. If the kiss did anything it stoked the fire in Haven’s belly.

  Haven was stirring her coffee when she overheard Willa talking to the others at the table about a beautiful woman named Carmelita. She craned her neck to listen and heard that she was describing the various features of one of her prized chickens. Willa ran through a list of her favorite birds and their quirkiest traits. No doubt the weirder the bird, the more Willa adored it. She always had a penchant for the smallest, runtiest, and underdoggiest of every species.

  Haven sat and joined those who listened to Willa tell them about her farm back home. Goats, chickens, and a couple of sheep made their home with her in Florida, along with her brother. Haven listened intently for any mention of a girlfriend or partner waiting for her to return, yet she heard nothing of the sort. It seemed that besides her farm babies and her brother, the one true love in Willa’s life was an Australian shepherd named Annie Oakley. Haven couldn’t help but feel relieved by the information, not that it mattered in the end.

  Willa had been raised on a farm and longed to one day start her own. It was something that she and Haven had talked of frequently when making plans for their future together, though they never had a chance to make it happen before everything went belly up. A part of Haven was jealous that Willa had gone ahead with their plans on her own. In spite of that, she was glad that she hadn’t let cancer keep her from her dreams.

  Wingman came into the dining room and gave them all a rundown of their final day on the river. Today they’d be starting on the Roaring Fork, which fed into the Colorado near Glenwood Springs. It was a challenging run, perfect for their last day.

  After he filled them in, he scooted in next to Willa at the table. “Do you want to stick with the hard boat, or do you want to take a ducky today?”

  It wasn’t meant as an insult. Haven knew that Wingman was just looking out for everyone’s best interests. He wanted to make sure that Willa would have fun and also be safe if she was feeling uncertain after the accident the other day. Everyone looked at her, waiting patiently for her answer. “I don’t know.”

  “It’s up to you,” he said.

  “You’ve made it this far, Willa. You don’t need a ducky,” Corey said, but Willa wasn’t certain.

  Haven went up behind Willa and set her hands on her shoulders. She leaned down and spoke into her ear. “It’s up to you, but I think you’re going to kick this river’s ass today.”

  “I’ll stick with my boat,” Willa said.

  “That’s our girl.” Wingman gave her a light punch to the shoulder.

  Within a few minutes, everyone had loaded up onto the bus for their last ride to the river. On the way Scrat held up a bag of permanent markers and explained that they were used to make a mark on the bus like all of the other campers had before them. Haven was always sad to see her new friends leave, but this was going to be the hardest good-bye of them all, and Haven was dreading it. Unfortunately, she couldn’t think about that now. There was still more than thirty-six hours left of camp and the next eight were going to be on the water.

  The Roaring Fork River was created by snowmelt and was therefore almost fifteen degrees colder than the Colorado. While the difference was most noticeable where the two rivers met, it was obvious upon setting the first foot into the water, too. If Willa was going to miss anything, Haven knew it was not going be spending day after day in freezing water. Whether or not she would miss her was another matter entirely. They were each going to return to their lives and pick up where they had left off. It was a task that Haven prayed that she would make it through easily.

  For now, Haven just wanted to enjoy the last day on the river. It was hers as well as the campers’. The summer season was over and winter camps would start within the next few months. Haven was not a winter camp volunteer. She had done it once, and the only thing she hadn’t blocked from her memory was the two hours she spent dog sledding. Everything else was a jumble of ice and tears because she had been so cold and miserable.

  The ride down to the put-in was wild and loud. The music Scrat chose for their last day was fun and funky and had everyone singing and seat dancing, including Willa. The difference was that she sang along to the background vocals or add-ins rather than the main lyrics. It always cracked Haven up when Willa would mimic the “ows,” “yeahs,” and “uh-huhs” instead of singing the actual words. When “Build Me Up, Buttercup” came on the radio, both Haven and Willa began singing. For those three and a half minutes, they laughed, sang, and belted out the lyrics to the song without thought or concern that everyone might think that were completely nuts.

  The entire bus was pumped up for the day when they pulled into the parking lot and unloaded. As had become the routine, they grabbed their gear, suited up, and pulled their boat to the water’s edge to wait for the all clear to launch. Willa seemed apprehensive as she hung back behind the group instead of being the first in like the days before. Haven assumed that she was having second thoughts about choosing the hard shell instead of the ducky, and no doubt the memories of Spartan’s accident echoed in her mind.

  Haven went and stood next to her. “We have a ducky ready to go if you’ve changed your mind. You could just lay back and enjoy the ride today.”

  “I thought about it. But I’m good. I’m just not in any rush today.”

  “Me neither,” Haven said as they stood in companionable silence, watching the rest of the group push their boats into the water for their last run on the river.

  * * *

  Willa waited on the porch of her cabin. The sun had yet to even suggest its eventual rise as it was just now 5:30 in the morning. Last night they had agreed to meet early that morning and hike up to the ridge and watch the sunrise on their last day on the ranch.

  The morning air
was cool as she paced along the gravel drive looking for Haven in the direction of the bunkhouse. The ethereal blue of early morning light and fog floated around them. A warmth spread through Willa when Haven broke through the dense haze and appeared before her like an apparition. She was a stunning, celestial dream.

  “Good morning,” Willa said when Haven stopped before her.

  “Morning.”

  “You made it.”

  “Of course I did. I set my alarm, premade the coffee, and had Wendy push me out of bed so I could get here on time.” Haven held out a steaming cup to Willa.

  “You are an angel.”

  “Are you ready? It will take about thirty minutes to get to the ridge, so we should get going.”

  “Lead the way.”

  The hike was a steep one and there was little conversation as Willa needed to save every breath of air to feed her lungs. For the first time, she was feeling the altitude and limited oxygen. When Haven grabbed her arm and pulled her to a stop, Willa was thankful, yet confused. “What’s wrong?”

  “Listen,” Haven whispered.

  Listen for what? Willa could barely hear anything over the sound of her huffing and puffing, but there it was. A strange, unfamiliar sound like an untrained trumpeter. It was a difficult sound to describe. “What the hell is that?”

  Haven laughed. “That’s an elk bugle. There must be a herd moving through. Come on!”

  Haven grabbed Willa’s hand and pulled her up the hill. “Oh, Lord.”

  Haven trudged up the hill, along the fence line, her head darting back and forth as she looked for the origin of the elk call. “There!” she said as she jumped up onto her tiptoes and pointed across the clearing to the edge of the aspens. “There he is.”