by Tina Michele
Haven wasn’t sure she wanted to share that painting with anyone else, let alone sell it. She would keep it turned around, leaning against the wall in her studio right where it was. When Haven’s phone rang again, her sanity snapped. She threw her brush onto the floor and took the palette full of paint and slammed it against the canvas. It slid down the white surface in a streak of color and crashed to the floor. Haven stormed out into the kitchen and answered the phone. “What the fuck?”
“Uh, hey,” Bianca said on the other end.
“What, Bianca? No, they aren’t done. No, I don’t want company. No, I don’t even want to have this fucking exhibition!”
“Damn, Haven.”
“Sorry. But every time I try to start painting, my damn phone rings. You know I hate deadlines. I never wanted this, and it’s stressing me out.” Haven couldn’t believe she’d said it aloud.
“Just think about how great it will be when it all pays off.”
She cared about Bianca, and her head was in the right place for Haven’s art career, but her heart wasn’t. Haven didn’t want to be a professional artist, and the more Bianca pushed, the more she resented her for it. “Bianca, I don’t want this. It’s too much.”
“Just take a break today and get back to it tomorrow. Let’s go out.”
“Bianca, I don’t—” Another call beeped in and Haven paused to see who it was. “Hey, it’s my sister. I gotta go.” Haven didn’t wait for Bianca to say good-bye before she took the other call. “Hey, Gianna. What’s wrong?” Members of her family usually didn’t call unless it was something that couldn’t be said over text.
Gianna didn’t waste time on pleasantries, knowing that Haven was on a deadline. “Hey, sis. Nothing. Mom went to the doctor yesterday, and I was just calling with the results.”
“Oh, God.” Haven’s stomach twisted.
“Relax. There’s nothing to worry about, right now. He’s wanting to run some more tests and a CT to check for blockages in her carotid arteries. Depending on what they say, she may need surgery.”
“Surgery? What kind of surgery?”
“An endarterectomy, or something like that.” Gianna described the procedure in detail, and Haven’s knees buckled.
“Stop. I have to sit down.” Even the thought of blood and fluids made Haven queasy.
“The vascular guy seems pretty confident, and he says he does at least three or four a day. So it’s pretty routine.”
Haven was dizzy and a little sick to her stomach. “So, what? Like, I don’t understand. When?” Her anxiety over health issues extended beyond her own.
“Calm down, Haven. If something is wrong they’ll take care of it as soon as possible. There’s no sense in getting upset until we know something. Even then—”
“I’m coming home,” Haven said.
“What? No. That’s silly.”
“I am.” Haven opened her laptop and searched for the cheapest last-minute ticket home.
“Haven. Listen to me. Even if there is a blockage or whatnot, they aren’t just gonna cut her open. Surgery could be a week or more out if that’s what she needs.”
Haven didn’t care. Between Bianca, the paintings, Willa, and now her mom, Haven wanted to run away, and that was just what she was going to do. The earliest she could get a flight was for 5:00 a.m. the next day for almost nine hundred dollars. She booked it on her credit card without hesitation. “I land in Orlando at one thirty tomorrow. I’ll rent a car so you don’t have to come get me.”
“For heaven’s sake, Haven. You’re ridiculous, but I can’t say I’m not a little excited to see you now.”
“Me too, actually.” Haven didn’t know how long she was going to be in Florida, but she knew that Bianca was going to blow a gasket when she found out. Maybe it was time. “I’ll see you tomorrow. I need to make some calls and get my bags together.”
Haven pulled her bags out of the back of the closet before sitting down on the bed. She was preparing to call Bianca and tell her she was going to Florida. She was also psyching herself up to let Bianca know that she would also be going there alone. And single.
It wasn’t a spontaneous decision that Haven was making. It had been a long time coming, even before her week on the ranch with Willa. Bianca had asked her a hundred times to move forward in their relationship and buy a house or start a family. Haven always said no. While Willa wasn’t the exact reason for this decision, the kiss she shared with her was filled with more passion than all the times she and Bianca had sex combined. That had to mean something.
Bianca deserved to have someone who was able to give her everything, 100 percent. She needed a woman who shared her life goals and dreams of success, and most importantly, who wasn’t in love with someone else. Even if Haven and Willa would never be together, she knew that she could never love Bianca the same way. She might never love anyone again, and Bianca deserved so much more than that.
Haven had almost packed her entire closet before she decided that she needed to stop procrastinating and call Bianca. She took several deep breaths and dialed the number.
“Hello?”
“Hey, we need to talk,” Haven said, her voice cracking.
Chapter Sixteen
It had been almost a week since Willa had returned from camp, and she was surprised that the emotional and physical highs had yet to wear off. Even though digging postholes for the new chicken coop wasn’t comparable to tackling a whitewater rapid, there was a sense of accomplishment in both. She had caught the kayaking bug in Colorado and had done extensive online research just about every night on where and when she could try it again. Florida was eighty percent water, but its lack of elevation gave it a zero percent chance of whitewater, and a one hundred percent chance of alligators.
Willa set the last post in the ground and packed the dirt around it with her boot. A few cross beams for support and it would be ready for the wire. Her frosty beer bottle called her name from where it sat on an inviting log. “I think I will sit, thank you.” She plopped down onto the tree trunk and reached for her beer. The darkness in her right eye caused her to misjudge the distance and knock the bottle over. As she lunged for it her knuckles brushed the rough pine bark. “Shit,” she said, looking down at her lightly scraped knuckles.
It reminded her of Haven. Not just the injury itself, but the determination that Haven had to push through with it. It was more than just a stubbornness or a need to impress others with her skills. It was a sense of commitment and dedication, a responsibility to finish what she had started. The Haven she remembered from a few years ago would’ve kicked it over in frustration and run away from it. Not that anyone would’ve blamed her this time, if she had. Haven had always struggled with having to do it versus wanting to do it. Willa reckoned that was the difference.
“Hey, Will,” Kyle said. She didn’t know where he came from or how long he’d been there.
“Yo. What’s up?”
“Do we have everything we need if we get a storm this year?”
“I reckon. Why?”
“They’re talking about a low pressure system in the tropics and it had me wondering if we had supplies.”
“Yeah. I mean we have wood and tarps and whatnot.”
“Cool. I’m not worried about it, but you never know about these damn things.”
Willa had lived in Florida her entire life. Most of it had been on the east coast where tropical storms and hurricanes were just another thing about living in the state. Where kids in the north had snow days, she had hurricane days. It wasn’t until she was in her early twenties that she experienced her first serious storm. Willa had been living with a friend before she and Haven had officially moved in together.
Haven’s and Willa’s families had all taken shelter at their homes except for Haven’s sister, Gianna. When her roommate took off for her parents’ house, it left the three of them to hunker down at the house with three dogs and a cat. It hadn’t started out all that bad, until it made its landfall as a stro
ng Category 3. By the time things really picked up, Haven’s sister had medicated herself with anxiety drugs, and somehow Haven couldn’t keep herself awake even with the sound of the patio awning slamming against the house. The days afterward proved worst of all with extensive flooding, power outages, and dreadful humidity. By the time they could bathe and get out of the house, Willa was surprised that they hadn’t killed each other.
Kyle rolled out the chicken wire next to the coop. “Hey, daydreamer. You call her yet?”
Willa hated being so obvious with her inner musings. “Of course not,” she said, getting up from the stump and walking over toward him. “I told you, I wasn’t—”
“Just call her. What can it hurt to say, ‘Hey, just checking in. How are things?’ Ya know?”
“Yeah, but—”
“Just call her.” He looked at his watch and clapped the dust off his hands. “I need to run up to the house for a few minutes anyway.”
After he left, Willa contemplated his statement. Why didn’t she call her? What could it hurt just to see how things are going for her first week back? Willa knew that unless she made the first call there wasn’t going to be an opening of communication between them. “Fine!” she hollered after Kyle who was at least a hundred yards away by now.
Willa returned to the stump she’d been sitting on and took her phone from her pocket. She sat down but then stood up again. The anxiety bubbled in her chest. “What are you so afraid of? Just call her.” For a brief moment, she thought of sending a text instead. That way Haven could reply in her time. Or she could pretend she never got it in the first place, and that would leave Willa in limbo. She decided that was worse than calling.
She paused for a few more seconds with her thumb hovering over the call button. When she had hesitated long enough, she pressed the button. It rang almost four full times before Haven picked up.
“Hello? Willa? Sure, that’s fine. Is everything all right? No, no GPS, thanks. Hello?”
“Haven?” Willa had no idea what was going on or who she was talking to.
“Yeah, sorry. Hold on one sec,” Haven said. Willa heard Haven’s muffled voice and then the shuffling of papers and keys. “Willa. Hi. Sorry about that.”
“No worries. Is everything okay?”
“Yeah. Uh, yeah. Just renting a car.”
“A car? What happened to yours?”
“Nothing. I…I needed a car while I’m here…in Florida.”
Willa’s stomach dropped like a balloon filled with lead. “What? Why are you here?” There was no way she’d come to Florida to see Willa, and any other reason had her concerned. “What happened?”
“Nothing. Mom is having some tests done today, and I thought I should be here. And the timing seemed right, I guess.”
“Is she all right? Timing?”
“It could be nothing. Gianna just called during…well, it just worked out this way.” Haven seemed short with her words. Maybe it hadn’t been a good idea for her to call after all.
“Oh, okay then. Wow.”
“Yeah. I just got to the car. Can I call you back later when I get to the house?”
“Of course. Let me know about your mom. And if you need to talk, you can come out here and hang out for a bit.” What the hell, Willa? She is here to see her mother, not have a visit,
“Thanks, Willa. That could be nice. I’ll let you know.”
Willa hung up and slipped her phone into her pocket. Shit. There was no certainty she’d come, but if she did, Willa needed to get her ass in gear.
* * *
“When did it get so damn hot here?” Haven asked when she walked in the door of her mother’s house.
“Haven?”
“It’s me, Ma!”
“Haven Louise, what are you doing here?” her mother, Camille, said, getting out of her chair and rushing over to where Haven stood in the foyer.
“Gianna called and said you were having some tests.”
“Gianna called? Gianna!” she called down the hall.
“What? Oh yeah! You’re here,” Gianna said when she came into the living room.
“Why did you call your sister?” her mother asked Gianna.
“I called to tell her about the doctor’s appointments. She’s the one who decided to come out here.”
While her mother and sister argued about her presence, Haven herded everyone into the living room and out of the foyer. The three of them took a seat and continued the conversation. Haven had come all this way because of these tests, and she wanted to hear about them before getting into anything else. Gianna explained that doctors had discovered blockage in her carotid arteries, but nothing that had them overly concerned or put her in any immediate danger. Nothing that they weren’t going to try medications on first.
“You should’ve waited before wasting your money coming out here, sweetie,” her mother said.
“Well, regardless, I’m here. I’d rather be here than out there right now, anyhow.”
“Oh no, what’s wrong?” her mother asked.
Haven knew she was eventually going to have to explain her trip home, but she hadn’t wanted to do so straight out of the gate. She knew that neither of them were going to be particularly grieved over her breakup with Bianca. While she didn’t know for certain, the end of their relationship was likely to impact her career, and that would send her mother into a panic. Especially when Haven told her that she’d just walked away from it on impulse. Gianna raised an eyebrow at Haven when she hesitated to answer the question.
“Can’t she just be concerned about her mother?” Gianna said.
“Of course she can. I’m happy you’re here. How long are you staying?”
Haven had no idea. She hadn’t even purchased a return ticket to Colorado. Nothing about this trip had been planned beyond how she was getting to the Denver airport that morning. And the call she had received from Willa not more than twenty minutes after landing was another uncalculated turn of events. “For a bit.”
“And you want me to think nothing’s wrong. Gimme a break.” Her mother got up from her chair and headed off to the kitchen. “I’ll be in here pretending not to know that Gianna is breaking you down to get the real reason you’re here.”
Haven wished that her mom was kidding. But after the look she’d gotten from her sister a few minutes earlier, there was no way she wasn’t getting the third degree. Just as expected, Gianna sat forward in her seat. She crossed her legs, propped an elbow on her knee, and rested her chin on her fist.
“Really?” Haven said.
“Oh yeah. Because I have a feeling this is gonna be gooood!”
Haven could just spew out the highlights, but she knew that would never satisfy her inquisitive and annoying little sister. “Okay, so I guess it all started about two weeks ago.”
“Okay. First of all, I’m going to ignore the fact that it’s been two weeks building up to whatever this is,” Gianna motioned her hand sarcastically all around Haven and her luggage, “and let you continue.”
Haven could already tell that this was going to be the longest conversation ever. “Okay, shut up. No more talking until I’m done.” It was an impossible request, because as soon as Haven mentioned Willa, Gianna was going to lose it. “Promise?”
“Of course not. But if it makes you get on with it already, then yes. I promise.” They both knew it was a lie, but Haven continued anyway.
She began the story from two weeks earlier and built it up to the moment the SUV arrived with the guests. “It had been just another camp welcome until Willa threw her bag on my boots and climbed out of the truck.”
“What?” Gianna said at the same time their mother’s head stuck out from the kitchen and repeated the question. That was all it took, and her mother was sitting on the couch next to Gianna with matching expressions of surprise.
“Yeah.” Haven continued her story. She told them about the first few days, and then the incident with Spartan and how it had caused a complete shift in each of
them. Haven also broke the news that Willa had been diagnosed with cancer and had lost most of the vision in her eye. Both Gianna and her mother began to straighten when Haven explained Willa’s reasoning behind their unexpected separation. Gianna scoffed, and her mother rolled her eyes.
“Stop,” Haven said. “I know what you’re both thinking, and it’s nothing I haven’t thought myself.”
“So, did you cheat on Bianca?” her mother asked.
“Are you here to see her? Be honest,” Gianna said.
“No. Not really. Maybe? I mean…we didn’t…it was just a kiss. But Bianca and I broke up.” Haven buried her face in her hands and took several deep breaths.
“So you are here to see her,” Gianna said.
Haven looked up. “I wasn’t. I’m not. I hadn’t even talked to her until two hours ago when I landed in Orlando.”
“And you broke up with Bianca?”
“Yes. I’ve been struggling with finishing my pieces for the gallery, and she kept calling and calling. Then Gianna called about you, and that’s when I decided that I needed to come home. So I called Bianca and told her I couldn’t do it. Any of it.” Haven still felt little sadness at her decision to end things with Bianca. There was the guilt of having kissed Willa at the ranch, but there wasn’t that sense of loss that she knew she should feel. The hurt from missing Willa every day, even after three years, hung heavier on her heart. And the last week without her had eclipsed all of that. While it hadn’t been the reason Haven had returned to Florida, it had been the thought of Willa that made her ultimate decision.
“I see. So seeing Willa after all this time wasn’t the closure you wanted,” her mother said.