by Anna Jacobs
‘Just for ten minutes, mind!’
Clo was lying in bed staring blindly into space but when she saw her mother, she tried to sit higher up, winced and held her arms out instead, tears running down her face. ‘You’ve come! Oh, you’ve come, Ma!’
‘Of course I have, you darling dope. Did you think I’d stay away when you needed me?’
‘I’d deserve it.’
‘How’s the baby?’
‘She’s gorgeous – well, she’s going to be gorgeous. She’s a bit shrivelled-looking at the moment. They’ll let you look at her, but you won’t be able to cuddle her and you’ll have to wear a mask.’
‘She’s holding her own, though?’
‘Yes. Much better this morning, breathing properly. They brought her in to see me a couple of hours ago and I managed to feed her a bit.’
‘She’s as stubborn as her mother, then.’
Clo shook her head. ‘I’ve been too stubborn, wanted to be perfect at everything, job, motherhood, running a home.’ She blinked her eyes. ‘I tried not to let on but I used to get so tired, Ma.’
‘Of course you did. No one can be perfect at everything.’
‘You always seemed to be. Our home was always immaculate.’
‘Is that how you remember it?’
‘Yes, of course.’
Simone couldn’t help smiling. ‘I was the world’s best expert at making a place look good once you two had left home – and I had your father to help me. He secretly enjoyed housework, used to take a real pride in how well the furniture polished up.’
Clo blinked furiously. ‘I remember Dad giving me a lecture once on how to do that properly.’
Simone waited a moment or two then dared to say, ‘You’ll have to let Bob share the jobs from now on, darling. No one can do everything.’
‘I know. He’s said that too. He always intends to do more but he can’t always spare the time, so things go downhill.’
‘Then you’ll have to remind him as well as lowering your standards.’
‘Mmm. I suppose so.’
She changed the subject to something more cheerful. ‘What are you calling the baby, Clo? You never said.’
‘It took us ages to agree about that. Georgie.’
‘Short for Georgina?’
‘No, just Georgie.’
The nurse came to interrupt them. ‘Clo needs to rest now.’
Simone gave her daughter a farewell hug, then said pleadingly to the nurse, ‘Can I just have a peep at my new granddaughter before I leave?’
‘You can look but not touch. She’s breathing really well now. She’s a little Aussie battler, that one.’
The baby was tiny and she did look shrivelled, not plump and beautiful as the other two had been. But she opened her eyes suddenly and it looked as if she was watching the brand-new world around her carefully already.
As she and Deb walked out of the hospital, Simone said, ‘Now I can sleep. Am I going to be in your way, though, if I come to your house? I can always go to a motel.’
‘Of course you won’t be in the way. You’re definitely coming home with me. The kids have been getting their junk out of the box room and we can just fit a single bed in it. They’ll be all over you once they get home from school. They’ll have gone for the day by the time we get back.’
Deb gave her a sudden convulsive hug and clung on for longer than usual before getting into the car.
‘What’s that in aid of? You’re not usually a hugger.’
‘In aid of welcome back. You’re the only Ma I’ve got and I’ve missed you.’
‘I’ve missed you all, too. Did you think I hadn’t?’
‘I wasn’t thinking clearly at first. I am now, I hope.’
Before she went to bed in the tiny box room that evening, Simone checked her phone. Russ had called her ten times, leaving a few loving messages at first, then repeating the same short one: he wasn’t giving up on them staying together.
‘Get used to that, Simone. We’re going to work something out and I’m definitely going to marry you.’
She cried again, shedding tears for her lost dreams. It wasn’t going to happen but it was wonderful to be wanted so much. She smiled through the tears: he hadn’t asked her, he’d told her he was marrying her. Oh, if only!
The following morning she stuffed her clothes into her bags anyhow, then checked her emails. There was one from Henrietta and Elizabeth.
Oh dear, she was going to miss them as well. And Fern. But they’d all stay in touch, she was sure. The modern world was full of ways to communicate. And she’d visit England again, definitely.
Another email came from Russ. She hesitated. Should she block him? No, she couldn’t bear to do that.
Should she reply?
No, she couldn’t bear to do that either. It would bring him too close to chat to him.
Was she doing the right thing?
What else could she do? Young Parker knocked on her bedroom door to say goodbye before going off to school and she went to the window to watch him get into someone’s car.
She’d missed her grandchildren. They seemed to have grown a lot during her absence.
She gave a wry smile. She hadn’t missed the school concerts, though, or changed her resolution about never going to one again.
Deb called up that the kettle had just boiled and she went to join her. She was looking forward to moving back into her own home.
She was missing Russ like hell already.
She was so torn between her two worlds.
In Wiltshire, Russ was increasingly thoughtful. He’d never expected Simone to be easy to woo, but the more he’d got to know her, the more he’d fallen in love with her. She’d been so sure that their lives were going to be too different for them to have a successful marriage.
He should have – could have – tried harder to persuade her that it was possible, but he’d been lost in his new programmes. Hell, that must have given her all the more reason to doubt that they could stay together long term. Stupid, that’s what he’d been. He had taken her presence in England for granted, and his ability to persuade her before she went back that they could work things out.
Well, he might have made a mistake there but he wasn’t stupid enough to give her up. He was going to marry Simone, whatever it took.
Why did he love her so much? He smiled fondly as he thought of her. She was a strange mixture of naïve and intense, old-fashioned and modern. And she had a beautiful smile. It lit up her whole face.
The trouble was, he couldn’t go after her yet because he really needed to be around for the next week or two, mainly in London.
His guess was that Simone would be more concerned with her daughter and the new baby at the moment. Premature babies didn’t grow bigger overnight.
Simone would make a wonderful wife and life companion, he just knew it. She’d proved that once already with Harvey.
Her first husband must have been a hell of a nice guy, judging by the way she spoke about him. Russ envied her that. His own experience with matrimony had not been nearly as good and had ended in quarrels.
He was going to do better this time, he vowed.
When the Dittons came back from Australia, Russ went next door and explained the situation frankly because he wanted their help. ‘Have you seen her? How is she?’
‘She’s well. We were going to get together with her and her family at our daughter’s before we left but it never happened. Did you get on well with her?’
‘I fell in love with her almost immediately. We were getting together nicely when she had to rush back.’
‘Ah. Her daughters never said.’
‘Simone doesn’t think it can work between us. I have to persuade her it can.’
‘That must be why she looked so sad and quiet when we handed over the house,’ Linda said. ‘Mystery solved.’
‘You think she might be missing me? That would be wonderful.’
‘You’re still here and she’s still the
re, though.’
‘I’m going to change that soon. How are her daughter and the baby getting on? Is your daughter still in touch with them?’
‘Yes. She mentions them regularly in her emails. They’ve become very good friends. Clo and the baby were only just starting to get better when we left, but the baby’s making an excellent recovery from being premature.’
‘Well, that’s one worry out of the way.’
Linda studied him for a moment or two in silence, then smiled and patted his hand. ‘You have got it bad, haven’t you?’
‘Yes. Very bad. Permanently bad, I hope.’
‘So, why aren’t you going after her?’
‘I am. But not yet. I have to clear the decks here before I can leave. No use going there for a few days and then having to rush back to finish this project. If I did that, it might give her another reason to think that we can’t make a life together. She’s panicking a little anyway at falling so deeply in love again. I don’t think she’d expected to.’
‘I wish you well, Russ. If there’s anything I can do to help …’
‘I think this is something I’ll have to do myself mainly, but if you hear from her or from anyone there about how she is, I’d be grateful if you’d pass on any news to me. She won’t answer her phone to me. But don’t say I’m planning to go after her. If she or her daughters ask about me, say I’ve been very busy and you’ve hardly seen me.’
She nodded. ‘Can do. Good luck.’
As he walked back to his own house, he was feeling highly emotional and kept taking deep breaths in a vain attempt to calm himself.
If he could miss Simone this much after only a few short weeks together, no wonder it had taken her four years to pull herself together after over twenty happy years with Harvey.
He had to sort it out somehow. Just had to. There must be a way for them to get together.
Chapter Thirty
When Clo was allowed to come home again, a few days later, Bob phoned Simone, who had settled back into her own home, to tell her.
‘Can you pick them up from hospital?’ he asked. ‘Only I’ve got an important meeting at work and—’
She was startled by the request. ‘Don’t you want to bring your daughter home for the first time yourself?’
‘Of course I do, but it’s just a tad awkward today. My boss is panicking about something.’
‘Well, I’m afraid I can’t help you. I have something else arranged.’
There was dead silence at the other end, then he put on his cajoling voice, ‘Can’t you change it, Ma?’
‘No, Bob, I can’t. And I’m quite sure Clo will want you to be with her.’ When he said nothing, she held in her anger, saying only, ‘I have to go now.’
She ended the call then stared at herself in the mirror. Had she really done that? Said a firm no to her persuasive son-in-law? Yes, she had.
‘Good for you!’ she told the woman in the mirror. She wondered where to go to prove she had something arranged, then frowned. She didn’t need to prove it, she could do as she pleased. She’d planned to clear out the kitchen cupboards today.
The Dittons had left everything clean and well-stocked but they’d rearranged many of the cupboards and it was driving her mad going automatically to get something out and not finding it where she expected.
She walked slowly round the house which had once been her pride and joy. It wasn’t a refuge now, didn’t wrap itself round her as it had once seemed to do. In fact she was thinking of moving. This place had too many memories and they cascaded down on her at the most inconvenient times.
The phone rang and she checked who it was before picking it up. Deb, phoning from work.
‘Hi, Ma. Bob just rang to try to get me to pick up Clo from hospital. He said you couldn’t do it.’
‘That’s right.’
‘I told him I couldn’t do it either. If he’s too lazy to take precautions when he’s making love, and doesn’t have time to end his fertility, he can wear the consequences, as far as I’m concerned.’
Simone didn’t know what to say to that. What a turnaround.
‘You still there, Ma?’
‘Yes. I was a bit surprised at you saying that.’
Deb laughed. ‘I’ve always been able to say no to Bob. He’s Clo’s choice of man not mine. And I have taken it on board that you need to get a life of your own. I still feel guilty when I think of how we took you for granted. You should join a club or take classes or do something different for yourself.’
‘Join a club? Ugh, no thank you!’
‘Whatever. Anyway, I just wanted to congratulate you and tell you that Bob is going to have to pick them up himself from the hospital. He should do more to look after his other two kids as well, if you want my opinion.’
‘What does your husband say to all this? You’ve changed too, you know.’
‘Being Logan, he’s been watching and thinking. I shan’t need to make my point too heavily with him. He was never as bad as Bob and I’m not as much a domestic fanatic as Clo. Oops. Got another call on the line. See you!’
That conversation pleased Simone greatly. But she still felt a bit down about her own situation. She’d grown out of the habit of being on her own so much, thanks to Russ and Fern and Henrietta. And now that she’d caught up with the four older grandchildren, Deb was right: she really had to sort her own life out and do something worthwhile.
But she wasn’t the sort to join clubs, never had been.
What was she the sort for?
It wasn’t until she was in bed that she admitted to herself how much she was missing Russ. Even more than she’d expected to and that was saying something.
Was he still missing her? There had been phone calls from him every day. She hadn’t answered them, hadn’t dared.
Henrietta and Elizabeth hadn’t seen him, nor had Fern.
Her parents had been in touch but weren’t coming back for months, it sounded like. And why should they? At their age, they wanted to make the most of every single day. She wished them well, emailed when she could because they rarely seemed to switch on their phones.
She couldn’t help wondering – just a tiny wonder or two, not a decision – whether she’d been right to break up with Russ so completely.
Maybe she should have come back to Australia and kept in touch, letting their relationship cool gradually.
But what if it hadn’t cooled? What would they have done then?
She’d better concentrate on selling the house. That would be her next step. It would take her mind off Russ getting it ready, keep her nice and busy.
Surely a change of surroundings and all the work involved would help?
Only where was she going to move to? She’d been looking at houses and flats and nothing had caught her fancy.
In England, Russ fell into bed late each night, crashing into the sleep of utter exhaustion. Sometimes he didn’t get to bed until the early hours. He still tried to phone and she still didn’t answer. He didn’t want to do this by email. It just wasn’t intimate enough.
He was jubilant about pulling the final programmes together. It was his best work ever. In fact he was, as a friend of his would have said, ‘thrilled skinny’ about what he’d captured on film.
He was surprised at how well Simone had shown up in the filming, not just her appearance but how she talked once he’d coaxed her into relaxing and simply being herself.
She had an on-camera warmth that viewers would relate to, he was sure. And a way of choosing exactly the right word to describe some situations. She wasn’t glamorous, but who wanted that when there were so many cute little creatures to watch? The fact that she had a wholesome look to her went really well with Mother Nature’s fantastic contributions to his series.
His agent was getting excited about some deal she was cooking up about Henrietta’s capture of the burglars, together with the three episodes now nicely polished about the smaller inhabitants of the grounds of Pennerton House.
Being Sally, she was refusing to give him any details until it was all done and dusted, but that hadn’t stopped her dropping a hint or two.
He’d started off hoping to get everything finished in two weeks, but it was going to be nearer three, dammit.
He was wondering whether to stop phoning Simone, though that would take all his willpower. He was determined to surprise her in person and make utterly sure that she couldn’t avoid speaking to him. He hoped that not hearing from him would make her worry about whether he was all right.
Would she phone him to find out? He doubted it.
But it wouldn’t be long now before he could leave. And when he got there, whatever it took, he’d persuade her to stay with him. He knew she loved him and he wasn’t leaving her again until she’d agreed to take the next step and marry him.
The Dittons had been helpful. They’d given him some information from their daughter about what she was doing. She sounded to be coping much better with her family these days. From the sounds of it, things had changed and she wasn’t allowing them to take advantage. Good for her.
Oh hell, he was missing her dreadfully. It was as if a part of himself was suddenly not there. How had this happened so quickly?
With a sigh of longing he reluctantly continued his efforts to leave things in good order here so that he didn’t have to rush back once he got to Australia.
Chapter Thirty-One
A month after Clo left hospital, Simone decided to throw a final party in her house before it was opened for inspection. It was more than time to let her family know what she was going to do.
She told Deb first.
‘Actually, it’s a farewell party for the house. I’ll be putting it up for sale immediately afterwards.’
Her daughter looked at her in dismay. ‘That’s why you’ve been redecorating some parts.’
‘Yes.’
‘Oh, no! It’s such a cosy little house. I love coming here.’
‘I’ve loved living here. But I need to move on.’
‘Are you going back to live in England?’
‘Why should you think that?’
‘I thought you might have made it up with him.’