by Lisa Cardiff
Miles’ voicemails and texts hadn’t stopped over last month. In fact, in the past few days they had become more frequent. He probably realized Chasing Ruin had a performance in Seattle tonight and he knew she’d be with them. If she saw one more “I miss you” or “I love you” text from him, she would seriously have to consider changing her number at the end of the tour. It was something she should have done when she left Seattle, but she always came up with a reason to avoid severing the last connection to her time there.
She even listened to one of his more recent voicemails. His voice was properly contrite as he babbled about how much he missed her and how much he regretted what happened with Natalie. Of course, he couldn’t stop himself adding a long-winded speech on the virtue of giving people a second chance. Finally, he mentioned that he had the blue topaz ring that Alec gave her for her twenty-first birthday. At least his voicemail solved the mystery of where the ring went, not that she’d ever retrieve it from him or give him her address. She didn’t want to invite him back into her life for one second, regardless of how much she loved the ring. It wasn’t worth it. She planned to keep Miles firmly planted in her past along with the rest of her mistakes.
Tonight was the final show on tour. Chasing Ruin had planned a big party after the performance to celebrate the end of a successful tour. As the bus pulled up to the hotel, Cam sat down next to her on the sofa. “So we made it to the end of the tour,” Cam said as he slipped his arm around the top of her shoulders.
“As strange as this sounds, I think I’m going to miss this.”
He laughed. “I haven’t slept in my own bed in three months. I’m kind of ready for a break.”
She rested her chin on his shoulder. “Is that your way of saying you need your space?”
“It’s my way of saying that we’re sleeping in my bed when we get back to LA.”
“Aren’t you worried what Alec will think of that?”
“Nope. You said you could handle him. I’m holding you to that.” Cam stood up holding out his hand to her. “Let’s go. I’m starving and I only have an hour before I need to be at the concert venue. Jax has some special things planned to mark the end of the tour, so I need to show up earlier than normal, but we have all night to hang out.”
“Evelyn, my roommate from when I lived in Seattle, is coming to the show tonight.”
Cam held her hand as they walked down the steps from the bus. “Do you need tickets or anything for her?”
“No. Alec set up everything already. Thanks for offering.”
Cam nodded. “Are you going to watch the show with her?”
“No. She’s bringing a friend, so I thought I would watch from backstage one more night. It’s the last one for a while.” She shrugged.
“Good,” Cam said smiling down at her through his dark lashes. “I like being able to sneak a peak or two of you while I’m on stage.”
“I noticed.” She squeezed his hand halfheartedly as she took in the familiar streets and landmarks of downtown Seattle. Chasing Ruin’s performance tonight was the last thing on her mind. Her life had changed enormously in the seven months since she left. It almost felt as if her life in Seattle—Miles, Evelyn, promoting bands and school—was a different lifetime belonging to a different person and she didn’t think she wanted any part of it back. Suddenly, Seattle seemed entirely too small for her comfort.
“What’s wrong? You seem distracted.” Cam guided her into the hotel restaurant.
She released a shaky exhalation. “I don’t know…I thought I’d be excited to be back in Seattle and see Evelyn again, but I’m not.”
“Okay, I’m confused. Why did you invite her to the concert?” Cam slipped his arm around her shoulders pulling her close to his side.
“She’s my friend for the most part, but she was more of a surface type friend if that makes any sense. We never really discussed anything too personal.” She shrugged feeling uncomfortable explaining the details. She and Evelyn weren’t better friends because Taylor never allowed the friendship to evolve just as she did with most relationships in her life.
Cam studied her face for a few moments giving her the sense that he understood exactly why her friendship with Evelyn had stagnated. Taylor was emotionally stunted and she couldn’t handle anything more. She started chewing on the inside of her lip, her confidence floundering under his intense stare. “I’ll be with you after the show. You don’t need to worry about anything. I’ll act as a buffer or whatever else you need me for.”
She nodded leaning into his chest feeling a new mixture of emotions: safety, companionship and, yes, love. There—she finally admitted it. She loved Cam, and surprisingly, she was okay with it. No, better than okay. She was elated and it rocked her to the core.
With his arm still wrapped around her, Cam requested a table for two in a back booth of the restaurant. As they followed the hostess, she saw Jax and Bre sitting at a table across the restaurant. Bre raised her hand in a wave and Jax nodded in their direction. Taylor smiled back. “Did you want to sit with them?” she asked timidly. She didn’t, but she would if Cam wanted to.
“No. Do you?” Cam asked.
She shook her head. She didn’t want to share Cam with anyone. “Not really.”
“Good, I want time alone with you.”
She slid into the booth and Cam followed, his hand seeking out hers almost immediately. His other hand fiddled nervously with the silverware surrounding his plate. “Are you planning to meet up with your ex? Is that why you’re nervous about being in Seattle?” The words were soft, not accusatory and his face was unreadable.
“What?” she said, stunned. She hadn’t said a word about Miles, except that she had recently ended a long-term relationship. “How do you know about him?”
“Alec told me a little about him.”
Cam didn’t elaborate and Taylor couldn’t guess what that meant because she tried to keep the details of her relationship with Miles hidden. Initially, she didn’t say anything to Alec to protect Miles. She rationalized that Alec wouldn’t understand. After the relationship had ended, she was embarrassed that she stayed with him despite his controlling behavior. It made her feel stupid and not much better than her mom. Like mother, like daughter rambled through her head on more than one occasion.
“What did Alec say?”
“Not much, just that he didn’t treat you very well and he worried about you when you were with him.”
“Ah,” Taylor said looking away as she tapped her fingers on the edge of the table. “He didn’t hurt me physically, if that’s what you’re wondering.”
Cam cupped her face forcing her to look him in the eyes again. “There are other ways to hurt someone.”
“If anyone knows that, it’s me.” She fell silent for a few seconds, every muscle in her body tensing as she thought about Miles. “I don’t have plans to meet Miles. I don’t want anything to do with him.”
“Miles,” Cam said as though he was testing the sound of his name and it left a bitter taste in his mouth.
She agreed with that sentiment. Miles turned her into a shell of herself and she hardly objected as the insults piled on day after day, month after month, or at least not until she caught him screwing Natalie. It made her physically ill when she thought about what she let him do to her for a year and a half. “You have nothing to be concerned about.” She leaned her face toward his until their noses nearly touched. “You’re the only reason I’m in Seattle. I want to be wherever you are, for as long as you’ll let me.”
Cam’s face softened and she was lost in the brilliant depth of his startling blue eyes. “I want you with me too. Don’t doubt me or yourself.”
***
Before Cam could finish his lunch, Jax and Bre approached their table.
“Are you ready to get out of here?” Jax asked leaning his hip against the side of the circular booth.
Cam took a drink of his water, then turned toward Taylor. “Are you okay if I leave?”
“Yes,” she an
swered feeling Bre and Jax’s eyes on her.
Cam kissed the side of her cheek. “I won’t be able to see you until after the show, but if you need anything, you can call me.”
She nodded. “Good luck.”
Her eyes followed Cam and Jax until they exited the restaurant.
“Do you mind if I join you?” Bre asked, smiling at her timidly.
She still didn’t feel one hundred percent comfortable around Bre, but she wanted to move past any lingering awkwardness. I’d be nice to have a real friend and from everything she saw, Bre seemed like a really nice person. “Sure. I was thinking about ordering some dessert.”
Bre smiled. “I thought the warm chocolate cake sounded good. Do you want to share it with me?”
“I’ve never been able to turn down chocolate,” Taylor answered.
“Me neither. I’ll be right back.” Bre jumped up to find their waitress, returning a few seconds later.
Taylor watched Bre rearrange the silverware in front of her three times. She should probably say something to break the silence, but nothing came to mind.
“So how are things with Cam?” Bre finally said, finding the one topic she wanted to avoid discussing with Bre.
“Good…I think,” she added.
Bre nodded. “I think so too. He looks happy and more comfortable in his skin than he has since the tour started. You’re good for him.”
“Oh, I don’t know about that.”
“It’s true. I’ve known Cam for a long time.” Bre paused. “Has he told you that we grew up together? We were neighbors.”
“Yeah.” Taylor shifted in her seat.
“Okay. Well, I just wanted to tell you that Cam’s a good guy, one of the best. I won’t lie, he’s done some crappy stuff over the past few years, but that’s not the Cam that was my best friend. He was really sweet, almost like my personal white knight in shining armor.” Taylor flinched almost imperceptibly. “When we were kids,” Bre added quickly, her voice warm and friendly.
Taylor relaxed her shoulders. “I can see him acting like that. He’s definitely protective.”
Bre smiled. “Anyway, I wanted to tell you that I see that side of him when he’s around you and it’s nice. It’s like the old Cam is back.”
The waitress placed a small warm cake with whipped cream and raspberries in the center of the table.
Bre handed her a fork. “Let’s eat this before it gets cold.”
“Sounds like a plan,” Taylor said, dipping her fork into the cake.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Taylor watched the final song of the night. She couldn’t believe the tour was already over. The month went faster than she had thought possible, but it was incredible. She wouldn’t trade it for anything.
Her phone vibrated in her pocket.
Evelyn: We’re making our way backstage. Where can we meet you?
Taylor: Go to the green room. I’ll be there.
Evelyn: We can’t wait to see you!
According to Bre, the post-performance party in the green room would be bigger than normal, with an actual bartender and a full spread of food. Taylor wanted to beat Evelyn and the guys to the green room, so she left before the lights on stage fully dimmed and the celebratory pyrotechnics display started.
As Taylor walked down the hallway, she noticed people already starting to filter toward the green room. She paused to collect her thoughts outside the door. The room was already packed with people and Chasing Ruin hadn’t even made it off the stage. Wild energy buzzed through the air, even more than usual after a performance. People were laughing, drinking and clothes were falling off faster than she thought possible.
Finally stepping over the threshold, she made her way to the bar, nodding toward the people she recognized. She ordered a glass of wine and then zigzagged between the people looking for Evelyn.
She felt hands wrap around her waist from behind her. Jolted, she spilled a little wine down the front of her shirt. “Cam,” she said smiling as she leaned into him briefly before turning to face him.
But it wasn’t Cam.
“Hi, Taylor.”
“Miles.” Ice crystals slithered through her veins. “What are you doing here?”
“I wanted to talk to you.”
The sound of his voice, once so familiar and dear to her, turned her stomach. She shook her head. “How did you get a backstage pass?”
He looked down for a moment and then gestured across the room where Evelyn was talking to a couple people Taylor didn’t recognize. “Evelyn.” Evelyn waved and winked as though she believed she had done Taylor a favor.
“Are you serious? I would have never given her two tickets if I had known one of them was for you,” Taylor yelled. She couldn’t believe that Evelyn would do this. She knew that she never wanted to see Miles again. She hadn’t said those exact words, but her actions were pretty fucking obvious in her opinion.
“Don’t be mad at Evelyn. I asked her not to tell you.” He reached for her hand, but she stepped backwards. Sighing, he dropped his hand to his side. “I didn’t have any choice. You wouldn’t answer my calls or my texts.”
“With good reason.” Taylor folded her arms across her chest trying to create another physical barrier between her and Miles.
“I’ve had a lot of time to think about things and about us.” He pushed her hair behind her ear and she froze. “I never meant to hurt you. I wish I could take back what happened between Natalie and me, but I can’t. I know that, but maybe you could give me a second chance. Everything was good between us before her.”
“No,” Taylor said her eyes wide and disbelieving. She didn’t want to sit here and listen to this. “You’re wrong. Things weren’t good even before Natalie. Natalie was the final straw, but I should have left long before then.”
“We were good together and if you didn’t run off before we could talk, I know you’d feel the same way. You only remember the bad things and you’ve forgotten what made us so good together.” He searched her face looking for something, probably forgiveness, but he wouldn’t find it. She was done with him.
“Is this really why you came here? You want to get back to together?”
He reached for her hand again and she wanted to slap it away, but she felt too numb to process this whole encounter. It was surreal. She couldn’t believe Miles actually had the nerve to show up at her brother’s concert. “I’m so sorry, Taylor. I love you and I need you in my life. Nothing works when you’re not with me. We were both to blame for what happened.” He squeezed her limp hand. “Why don’t you come back to my place tonight so we can talk through things?”
“No,” she said, her mind racing.
“I can give you back that ring you love—the one with the big, rough cut, blue stone. Did you listen to my voicemail? I found it behind my nightstand.”
“You can mail it to me.” She really wanted that ring, but there was no way she’d step foot in Miles’ place.
Miles rolled his eyes. “I’ll give you the ring if you come back to my place so we can talk. It’s only fair.”
“I can’t do that. I’m seeing someone,” she pulled her hand out his hold.
Miles’ eyes narrowed in anger and condescension.
“Tay,” Cam’s warm arm slipped around her waist.
Taylor’s eyes swung to Cam and then back to Miles. She never dreamed Cam and Miles would be in the same room, much less that she would be in a position to introduce them. Now, as she looked between Cam and Miles, comparing them, she thought Miles looked flat and one dimensional next to Cam. Miles, with his dyed black hair, dark eyes and black clothes, paled in comparison to Cam with his perfectly sculpted cheekbones and startling blue eyes and easy smile. Cam’s larger than life charisma made Miles look immature and empty.
“Cam,” she said feeling the tension that had been building since she came face to face with Miles slip away. He pulled her closer to him and his grip tightened momentarily.
“Did you still want to meet
up with your friends or are you ready to get out of here?”
“I still need to say hi to Evelyn.” She couldn’t even bring herself to look at Miles. She could feel his anger radiating in the air.
Miles held out his hand. “I’m Miles, Taylor’s—”
“I know who you are,” Cam said dismissively, not making any move to shake Miles’ hand.
Miles dropped his hand, hooking his thumbs into the belt loops at the front of his pants as a quiver of anger surged across his face. “You guys pulled off a pretty good show tonight considering all the gossip surrounding the band. I heard your days are numbered.”
“Mostly tabloid drama,” Cam said, not sounding the least bit remorseful about his behavior or concerned about the rumor.
“Hm. Interesting. Evelyn said the band hired Taylor to keep you in line after the YouTube incident.” Miles smirked, raising one eyebrow. Taylor used to like the way he could raise one eyebrow, now…not so much.
Cam looked down at her smiling as if he didn’t have a care in the world and then he winked. “Yeah, it worked out pretty well. No complaints from me.” He slid his hand down to her hip and then back up to her waist again, obviously trying to throw their relationship in Miles’ face.
Miles wrinkled his nose as a blush crept up his neck. “Glad to know Taylor is good for something. I was starting to wonder. She was a little too frigid for my taste.” Miles shrugged. “But maybe that’s your thing or maybe you didn’t have any other options. I guess she’s better than nothing. Almost.”
Dropping his hand from Taylor’s waist, Cam leaned forward, fingering the backstage pass around Miles’ neck, twisting it back and forth. “Look at this.” Cam tilted the pass in her direction. “This pass expired fifteen minutes ago.” Cam snapped the pass from his neck and waved for security. “Tay, go talk to Alec, I’ll meet you in a few minutes.”
Taylor walked backwards a few feet, but she couldn’t get her feet to move any further. They were glued to the floor.
“Taylor, what about your ring?” Miles asked over Cam’s shoulder.
Taylor shook her head, releasing a wobbly sigh. “You can keep it. Don’t contact me anymore.”