by Harper Bliss
“She’s a pilot based in Hong Kong. She flies to Paris once or twice a month. It’s very casual and, erm, mutually beneficial. She’ll be in town tomorrow.”
“What? How long has this been going on?” Juliette reached for her wine glass. “Talk about a dirty little secret.”
Claire could see how Juliette was racking her brain. She waited patiently.
“Wait… is she the one you met that night at Les Pêches? The one you had a one-night-stand with months ago?”
Even if Juliette believed there were secrets between them, there weren’t. They shared everything, even a bed at one point in their lives. “Yep.”
“I didn’t know you’d kept in touch.” Juliette whistled through her teeth. “She was hot.”
“It’s hardly a regular thing and certainly not something with a future, it’s just… fun.”
“Fun, huh? Well, I’ll make sure to make myself scarce tomorrow.”
“No need. I’ll go to her hotel.” Claire couldn’t help but smile at the prospect of seeing Jennifer again. Tall, dark, handsome Jennifer who always made sure to greet her in her uniform, cap included. Her phone beeped again. She picked it up eagerly, expecting it to be Jennifer to double confirm their date. It wasn’t. It was Nadia.
Margot says it was a nice surprise to run into you tonight. Do call her some time if interested. N. xo
A second text quickly followed containing a phone number.
“What?” Juliette asked, no doubt able to read the bewilderment on her face. Against her better judgment, but too perplexed to spare Juliette’s feelings, she showed her the screen of her phone.
“Jesus christ!” Juliette went off. “First of all, I can’t believe she’s still trying to set you up with that woman, and secondly, you’d think she’d have other matters on her mind.” Juliette’s face sagged into a wounded scowl. “I just don’t get it. If I did, I wouldn’t be here, I guess.” She sighed. “I didn’t cheat. I don’t have feelings for anyone else. All I want is for us to get out of this rut, but I’m afraid that Nadia is just so utterly and totally sick of me. That she’s just had enough. That she has changed and I haven’t and I can’t keep up. That she’s fallen out of love with me.”
Tears dangled from Juliette’s eyelashes. Claire inched closer to hug her, because she had no more words. She’d said them all, over and over again.
“If I’m the cause of all of this, how come I have absolutely no idea how to fix it?” Juliette sobbed in her arms, letting it all out.
“Take tomorrow off.” She reached for Juliette’s wine glass and handed it to her. “Take the time to think and—”
“Are you crazy? We’ve just taken on Laroche and I have meetings—”
“I’ll handle it. Steph will handle Laroche. Take the day. I mean it. Just one day, Jules. One day of the year. See it as compensation for all the weekends you worked, and the evenings you spent cozying up to potential clients while all you really wanted was to be at home with Nadia. Do it for her.”
“I’ll go nuts. I swear. When I have nothing to do, all these thoughts start swirling in my head.”
“That’s the point.” Claire grabbed her own glass off the coffee table. “When was the last time you went for a run in the Bois de Boulogne? When was the last time you really put yourself first?”
Juliette shrugged. “According to Nadia, I do nothing but put myself first.”
“Not everything Nadia says is true, Jules. She’s hurt. You’re hurt. You’ve been hurting each other. Take the time to fix it.”
“And a run in the park is going to accomplish that?”
“No, but at least you’ll have made a start.” Claire patted Juliette on the knee. “Go to the market and invite her to a home-cooked meal. Show her you’re willing to make an effort. Don’t put too much distance between the two of you.”
“She’s made it abundantly clear that she doesn’t want to see me for a while.”
“Then let her know in no uncertain terms that you don’t agree. That to make it work, you’ll have to get through it instead of ignoring it.”
“If only I knew what it was.”
“I think you do. Deep down, you know.”
Claire took Juliette’s subsequent silence as agreement and briefly let her mind wander to the last text she received. The doctor liked her. She had it in writing. And she had her number. She also had a date tomorrow—more of a booty call, really.
“I think you should call her.” Juliette’s voice startled her.
“What?”
“I think you should call Margot. Maybe I was too hard on her.”
“We’ll see.” Claire let her body fall against the back of the sofa, suddenly exhausted. Her day job was draining enough, and all this relationship drama wasn’t helping. “I’ll sleep on it.”
STEPH
“When did Barbier & Cyr turn into the centre of lesbian drama in Paris? I know this is the city of love and all that, but seriously, aren’t we supposed to be professionals?” Steph sat opposite Claire in her office with the intention of briefing her boss on what she’d dug up on Dominique Laroche but getting the story of everything that happened to her friends the night before instead.
“We are professionals, which is why Juliette had to take the day off. I have full confidence that you can handle Laroche on your own.”
“Oh, I can.” Steph couldn’t suppress a grin. “She’s more like us than you’d expect at first glance.”
“What do you mean?” Claire arched up her perfectly-sculpted eyebrows.
A knock on the door prevented Steph from dishing the dirt.
Claire’s PA, Fred, appeared in the doorway. “Juliette’s new assistant Sybille is supposed to start today, only Juliette’s not here.”
Steph turned around and winked at Fred. They often hung out together after work, heading to Le Marais for a few drinks and some ‘catch of the day’ as they called it.
“Merde. I’d forgotten about that.” Claire slapped a palm against her forehead.
“Is she hot?” Steph joked.
“Oh yeah,” Fred quickly responded, as if they were sitting outside of l’Univers chit-chatting and looking at passers-by instead of in their boss’s office.
“I’ll take care of her.” Steph shot Fred a sly grin.
“No funny business, Steph. I mean it.” Claire’s face clearly showed the struggle raging inside of her. She had no authority when it came to demanding of Steph that she not fool around with co-workers, seeing their history together. But Steph never crossed the line. No matter the impression she gave, her job was far more important to her than the hottest bedfellow. She loved to flirt—and tease Claire while doing so—but, at work, she never took it further than that.
“My bosses are women of the greatest integrity and I want nothing more than to act in their image.” Steph rose from her seat.
“Get out already.” Claire made a dismissive gesture with her hand.
“A thank-you would be nice.” Steph joined Fred in the doorway. “Oh, and boss, call the doctor.” With a nod, she exited Claire’s office, taking Fred with her, and closing the door behind them.
She didn’t have time to engage in a lot of banter with Fred, as he swiftly presented Steph to Juliette’s brand new assistant. It was impossible to miss why Juliette had hired her. She couldn’t have looked more like a younger version of Nadia than her own kin.
“Enchantée.” She took the girl’s hand and was surprised by the firm squeeze Sybille subjected her palm to. Ambition. Excellent. “Stéphanie Mathis, but do call me Steph.”
“Nice to meet you, Steph.” Sybille held Steph’s gaze a fraction of a second longer than necessary and that, combined with finely-honed natural instincts, was how Steph knew. Not another. There’s enough drama going around already.
She decided to keep a close eye on Sybille, especially now that Juliette was in an emotionally weakened state, and working alongside the spitting image of her estranged partner could mean trouble. “You have the
distinct pleasure of starting your career at Barbier & Cyr by acclimatising for the day. No one else here was ever given that privilege.” She put her hand on Sybille’s back and guided her along the corridor. “I’ll quickly introduce you to everyone and then Fred will take over to show you the ropes.”
Not interested in flirting with Sybille, despite the girl’s inclination, Steph’s mind drifted off to tonight’s meeting with Dominique Laroche. Her client had asked for a discreet place to meet and the only truly secluded spot Steph had been able to think of was her own flat.
JULIETTE
Nadia’s words kept ringing in Juliette’s ears. I need to be away from you for a while. Juliette aimlessly wandered around the market, feeling out of place in between the housewives and grandparents buying sweets for their grandchildren. The cheese looked good, but buying a few humps of goat’s cheese and Tomme, Nadia’s favourites, hardly constituted preparing a meal. Juliette enjoyed cooking, but she just didn’t have the energy today.
The run Claire had suggested she’d go on to clear her head had been dismissed as ludicrous as soon as she’d woken up with a slightly heavy head. Instead, she’d made her way from Claire’s place to her and Nadia’s flat and, despite Nadia only having left two days earlier, the complete absence of her had made her flee instantly.
She wasn’t even sure Nadia would come. It felt odd, to say the least, that for a woman who spent a good part of her day talking to people on the phone, persuading them this way and that, she was afraid to dial her own partner’s number. What if she spoke the same words again? I need to be away from you for a while. Juliette wasn’t sure she could take it again. Even though she had trouble pinpointing exactly what she had done wrong, she knew instinctively that the initiative for any sort of progress had to come from her.
She stepped away from the crowds, finding shelter around the corner of a building not a lot of people passed by. When she dug her phone out of her jeans pocket, her heart thudded with fear. When the dial tone rang in her ear, she was afraid her heart may jump out of her chest altogether.
“Allo.” Nadia’s greeting didn’t give away anything about her state of mind, but at least she had picked up.
“Hey. It’s me.” Juliette felt a drop of sweat make its way down her spine. “Would you have dinner with me tonight, please? I’ll cook.”
Silence on the other end of the line. Unbearable silence.
“Please,” she repeated. “I’ll make your favourite.”
“You don’t have time for that.”
Juliette racked her brain for Nadia’s favourite meal. “I do. I have all day.” She didn’t need a poker face over the phone.
“All right. I’ll be home at seven.”
Excitement had taken over from fear, which didn’t make any difference to the rate at which her heart hammered away beneath her ribs. “Merci.”
“We’ll see.” With that, Nadia hung up.
Juliette walked back to the market square. Her eyes scanned the many vegetable stalls and the meat stall a bit further and she knew. If she was going to make Boeuf Bourguignon the way her grandfather had taught her, she’d better get a move on.
With a renewed spring in her step, she breezed through the required shopping and walked home. Their home.
CLAIRE
A woman dressed in a pair of pressed navy-blue trousers, a white bra and a pilot’s cap opened the door for Claire.
“New uniform?” She asked, entering the room, always a little insecure at first.
“I tweak it for booty calls.” Jennifer’s voice was husky, her shoulder-length black hair falling from under the cap. She winked and offered Claire a tiny glass of champagne. A small popped bottle sat on top of the minibar.
They clinked rims and sipped while their eyes met, and for the first time since hooking up with the pilot, Claire wondered if this was all there was to her love life now. Sporadic meetings in hotel rooms. Text messages from miles away. Waiting for a plane to land.
“Do you have a girl in every city?” She held Jennifer’s gaze.
Jennifer smiled. “I don’t do girls.” She took a step closer. “Only sophisticated, accomplished women like you.” She was so close Claire could smell her perfume.
Did it really matter? This monthly fling would always end with Claire walking out of the room, until she decided never to return. Until she decided she deserved more than this.
Claire hadn’t been as lucky as Juliette. She hadn’t found a woman like Nadia who seemed to meet Juliette’s needs so perfectly—until she started wanting a little more for herself as well. She’d gone from non-committal fling to fling, and sometimes a relationship grew out of it, but something always went wrong sooner rather than later.
At one point, just when Juliette and Nadia had decided to move in together, Claire had even found herself in bed with the young, hot, new intern. She’d been secretly jealous of Juliette’s domestic bliss and Steph had made it very easy on her. How that could have backfired.
“You seem distracted.” Jennifer’s voice brought her back to reality.
Claire sighed. A gorgeous woman stood right in front of her, available and, by the look of things, extremely willing. “I’m not sure I can do this anymore.”
“Have you come to break up with me?” The smile still didn’t disappear from Jennifer’s face. She probably believed Claire was playing hard to get. She inched closer. “Or do you want to go steady?”
It was exactly what Claire wanted. But not with a pilot who only flew into town once a month, twice if she was lucky. A woman she barely knew, who evaded any question that got a bit too personal a bit too expertly.
“I’m sorry.” Claire took a step back. “I really am. I shouldn’t have come.”
“You’re serious.” Jennifer walked backwards to the bed and crashed down on it.
“I’m afraid I am.” She crossed to the bed and sat down next to Jennifer. “If you lived in Paris, I would definitely date you, but I’ll be forty-five years old next year and I want more than one night every few weeks.”
“Have you met someone?”
The question threw Claire off guard. Maybe she had.
“Maybe. I don’t know.” She turned to Jennifer. “I’m sorry to spoil our night like this.”
“Hey…” Jennifer grabbed Claire’s hand. “No false promises, no heartbreak. That was the deal from the start.”
“No hard feelings?”
Jennifer shook her head before planting a gentle kiss on Claire’s cheek.
“I’d better go.” She gave Jennifer’s hand a soft squeeze.
They both rose from the bed and fell into a tender hug. Gosh, it felt good to feel another woman so near. Just to feel another person’s body heat radiate onto her skin. “Goodbye, Captain.” Claire looked Jennifer in the eyes and kissed her on the lips.
Jennifer didn’t say anything when Claire headed for the door and closed it softly behind her. The first thing she did when she stood in the empty hallway was unearth her phone from her bag and scroll to Nadia’s message with Margot’s number. It was her call. Was she ready to make it?
She waited until she was outside of the hotel, with its memories of satisfying but emotionally empty sex, to dial the number. Margot picked up after the first ring.
“Doctor de Hay speaking.” Her voice was firm, her tone clipped.
“Hey. Hi.” Claire found herself stuttering. “This is Claire Cyr. Nadia gave me your number.” She hadn’t exactly prepared for this conversation. “Are you free to grab a coffee this weekend?” Maybe she should have started with a polite ‘How are you?’ instead.
“I’m working all weekend, starting Friday evening.”
“Oh.” The adrenalin of actually dialling Margot’s number was wearing off and swiftly being replaced by sullenness.
“How about tomorrow after work?” Margot’s voice sounded hopeful over the phone, so hopeful Claire was suddenly eager to forget about her own schedule, which she couldn’t remember anyway—but she probably h
ad some cocktail party to attend, she always had.
“Sounds good. At Le Comptoir?”
“Not really my thing. Do you know Le Coin des Chats in Saint-Germain-des-Prés?”
“No, but it sounds delightful.” Claire couldn’t suppress a chuckle.
“I’ll text you the address.”
They rang off and Claire decided that a two-minute phone conversation with someone promising was much more worthwhile than a romp in an anonymous hotel with someone merely passing through.
NADIA
“Did you hear?” Nadia asked Juliette after kissing her awkwardly on the cheek. She felt like a guest in her own home.
“Hear what?” Juliette seemed to have trouble letting go of her.
“Claire and Margot have a date tomorrow night.” Nadia couldn’t hide the triumphant tone in her voice. Setting them up had been another one of her so-called ludicrous ideas Juliette had shot down without giving it any more thought. She’d barely given Margot a chance, sizing her up and writing her off as soon as she had entered their flat.
“Really?” Juliette deposited the bottle of wine Nadia had brought on the table. “I did tell Claire to call her.”
Nadia rolled her eyes but decided it wasn’t worth arguing over. They already had enough ammunition to last them several weeks of fighting.
“Smells great.” The scent of beef that had stewed for hours wafted into the living room from the kitchen. Juliette really had made an effort. “Did you knock off work early?”
“I took a personal day.”
This made Nadia stop dead in her tracks. “You? You didn’t go into work at all?”
“How could I when the woman I love is on the cusp of leaving me?” Juliette couldn’t meet Nadia’s gaze. “Nothing is more important than trying to make you stay.”