by Nicole Lane
She’d left while he was in the shower, laying a note on the bed next to his clothes so he wouldn’t start calling everyone again, and now that she was here, she took a seat at the bar that gave her full view of the front door so she would see Patrick when he arrived.
She’d only just ordered a glass of water when he turned up, early as well, and she waved to get his attention. He smiled at her, and she couldn’t help feeling that familiar flutter in her stomach. He had been her first love. She’d envisioned forever with him. A home and children and growing old together. The loss still made her heart ache. She managed a smile as he walked over, leaning to kiss her cheek in greeting.
“You look fantastic,” he said, grinning. “But then, you always do. Did. Always did.”
She blushed. “Thanks. You’re looking very dashing yourself,” she said, taking in his tailored trousers and button-front shirt. “Even without the white coat.”
He laughed as he sat down across from her. “The coat hides a multitude of sins. And stains. I’ve generally got coffee down the front of my trou after some random bum’s elbowed me on the Tube. Yesterday, I had the exorcist on my rounds, so the white coat was green. Life’s interesting. Tell me about yours.”
“Patrick?” Isabelle asked, pausing to let the waiter take his drink order before asking earnestly, “Did you ever want to sleep with Eve?”
His eyes bugged. “What? Sleep with Eve?”
“Yeah. Can no man resist her?”
“Er…I never really thought about it,” he said. “I…” He eyed her warily. “If I say no, are you going to think I’m gay? Because everyone seems to think I’m gay.”
She raised her eyebrows in surprise. “Gay? No. I know you’re not gay. Why do people think you’re gay?”
He sighed. “Well, I’m single, in my late twenties, relatively fit,” he explained. “And I was nearly a priest, so people tend to wonder.”
Isabelle shook her head. “You enjoyed sex quite a bit, as I recall. Before your faith took over.”
He blushed and looked down.
She smiled. He was still absolutely endearing. “So? Eve?”
“No.” He shook his head, meeting her eyes, cheeks still red. “I only ever had eyes for you. I liked Eve.” He shrugged. “Liked her a lot more than Alora, but I never wanted to sleep with her. It never occurred to me.”
She smiled, relief flooding through her. She could see in his eyes that he was telling the absolute truth. “Thank you.”
“Sure. Why are you asking me this? You’re not trying to set me up with Eve, are you? That would be far too strange a scenario, and I can tell you right now that I’m not interested…in her.”
“No, it’s not that. I wouldn’t try to set you up with anyone. I just—” She sighed. “I found out that Dominic—” she raised her left hand so the rings were visible “—had an affair with Eve before we met. He’s been keeping it from me ever since.”
The color drained from Patrick’s face so that his dark eyes looked like coal in snow. “You married him already?” His voice was a thread.
“Oh…” Isabelle bit her lower lip, reflexively hiding her ring finger in her lap. She had forgotten that no one outside of family knew she’d eloped, and in that moment, she understood that he was hoping lunch would lead to something more. “Oh, Patrick. I’m sorry. I forgot you didn’t know.”
“No…no. I knew you were engaged.” He brought up his napkin to wipe his dry mouth and then took a drink. His hands were shaking. “No. It’s good. Congratulations.”
The waiter came by, and they ordered, Patrick doing better with that, his color returning.
She hesitated, then tried again. “He slept with Eve. He had a relationship with Eve before we met, and they’ve been hiding it from me. I just found out.”
“Ouch. That’s—I don’t know what that is. I can see why you’re bothered.”
She sighed. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything. This isn’t something you want to talk about. I’ve just had a rough couple of days, and I’m not thinking straight.”
“I can listen,” he offered. “I’m actually just glad you want to talk to me at all.”
“Why wouldn’t I want to talk to you?”
“Well, we didn’t exactly part on the best of terms, did we?”
“We didn’t part on bad terms, Patrick,” she said. “You had a higher calling. I’ve never faulted you for that.”
“Turned out I was wrong. I missed the boat completely.”
“You’ve made a really good life for yourself.”
“Not the life I wanted, really. You know, Issie, the whole time I was making up my mind about the priesthood, all I could think of was you. And my Bishop finally told me that if that was all that was on my mind, then that was what came first in my heart, not the collar. So I left. By that time, you were gone to Uni, and I was afraid to come after you.”
She looked at him with surprise and felt her eyes fill. “I wish you would have. I wish I’d known. When you left, I thought I’d never see you again.”
He nodded and looked down. “Well…ship has sailed, I suppose.” He tried to laugh. “Maybe you should set me up with Eve.”
“Don’t even joke!”
“Are they still close?”
“Who knows.” Isabelle sighed and told him the whole story, pausing only when their food came. She covered the fact that Eve was expecting, as was Alora, that she and Dominic had eloped, and the weeks leading up to the shower, then the shower and Eve’s display, leading to Dominic’s jump into the deep end of chivalry. “So, now I don’t know. What else is he hiding?”
“I’ll bet he never dated Alora.”
His deadpan response, the first words he had spoken in over half an hour, made her laugh. “No, I suppose not.”
“That’s better. I love that sound.”
She chuckled. “Is laughter really the best medicine, Doctor?”
“Absolutely, especially when it’s yours.”
She blushed again, smiling in spite of herself, and then shrugged. “I’m really a mess, aren’t I?”
“No, you’re just hurt and upset,” he said. “And understandably so. What you’ve got to decide is whether you can get past it and move forward or not. That’s what it comes down to.”
Isabelle nodded. “I know. I’m trying to be rational. You see how well that’s going.”
“Have you spoken with Eve?”
“No.” She lowered her voice. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Maybe just that. Look, I know she loves you and she wouldn’t set out to hurt you. She’s a crazy one, and you certainly can’t apply Occam’s Razor to anything she does, but in ‘Eve’s world,’ she probably thought she was protecting you. Talk to her.”
Isabelle nodded again. “You’re right. I’ll talk to her,” she agreed. She reached for the menu. “Now, I need something chocolate to cure what ails me.” They both laughed, and Patrick flagged the waiter. After they’d ordered dessert, Isabelle looked up at him and smiled. “So, now that we’ve exhausted my own personal drama, let’s talk about you. How are your parents?”
“They’re doing well. I told you Mum’s set on having grandchildren now. Immediately. I told her it’s a little difficult for me to do that on my own, but she’s resolute.”
The tension seemed to ease as they talked about simpler things. They reminisced a bit until the desserts had been demolished and the waiter turned up with the bill, which Patrick snatched away before Isabelle could.
“My treat.”
“Thank you, Patrick,” Isabelle said quietly.
“I invited you. It’s only right.”
“I don’t mean just for lunch. You’ve been really great about things. I know it isn’t easy.”
“Yeah, well. Like I said, I’m glad to see you…however I can.”
“Thanks.”
They shared kisses on both cheeks, and then he hurried away, leaving her to walk slowly out of the restaurant. She took her time down t
o a park she liked in Russell Square and sat down on a bench to stare at her cell phone. It was hot outside and uncomfortable. But she was uncomfortable on the inside too, so it matched. After several minutes, she finally dialed Eve’s number. Then she hung up before her sister could answer and tapped out a text instead.
Are you free?
Who knew what Eve was up to? She didn’t keep regular hours. There were times she would work for days straight, just catching naps in the studio, and then go days without working at all. Rode Street was doing a ridiculous profit every year, though, so Eve was able to make her own schedule as long as her work kept raking in the socialite and celebrity clients. It was five minutes before she got a return text.
Will be in thirty or so. Will call u.
Isabelle sat and waited. She didn’t want to have this call at home, and she didn’t want to be caught in a shop. She was situated in a secluded nook, surrounded by greenery and flora. That seemed as good a place as any for it. Still, she jumped when the phone rang and almost didn’t answer.
“Hi,” Eve said gently when Isabelle finally flipped open the phone. “How are you doing?”
“I’m wrecked,” Isabelle admitted.
“I’m sorry. I can’t fix it, I know.”
“Why?” Isabelle felt her throat tightening on the word.
There was a soft sound from Eve’s line, and she said, “Because I didn’t want to hurt you. Because I was afraid of what everyone would say. Because if the two of you broke up because of me…well, just another log added to my ‘burn the witch’ pile. I should have said something, though.”
“Yes, you should have,” Isabelle said as fiercely as she could muster in the face of that sincerity.
“Yeah, I should have, because you shouldn’t have married him. But I was a coward, so I didn’t say. I’d just hoped I could convince him to leave you alone.”
“By pretending to loathe him?”
“I wasn’t always pretending, Issie. Dominic and I have never had a close relationship. I couldn’t stand him half the time when we were messing about back then.”
Isabelle was silent for a moment, then she asked. “Is there anything else I should know? You didn’t want me to marry him, but now I have. I think I have a right to know if there’s more.”
There was a long pause, and then Eve said, “Isabelle, I love you. If I thought there was anything you’d benefit from knowing, I would tell you. He’s done his level best to convince me that he’s truly in love with you and that he’s changed his ways for you. He’s adamant about it, and no matter what I think, you are married to him now, and I actually do have some sentimental attachment to marriage vows and won’t do anything to break them. What’s important to me is that he treats you well, keeps you happy, and that we keep the past in the past.”
“Eve, I’ve got to know if you were laughing at me behind my back. Making me the fool.”
“You mean did we speak?”
“Yes. Did you ever see each other?”
“Have you asked him that?”
“Yes, and I want to know your answer.”
Another long pause. “We saw each other at family functions. We argued a few times over your relationship. We hadn’t seen or talked to each other in ages when I showed up to the shower.”
“When you did talk…” Isabelle knew she was beating a dead horse, but she couldn’t help herself. “What was it about?”
“When we did talk, it was me trying to run him off of you. We haven’t had a friendly conversation since you brought him home. Well, I guess that first one was semi-friendly, but then I was caustic after that.”
“I hate that he’s slept with you too,” Isabelle said quietly.
“I know,” Eve agreed gently.
“It’s like how you always stole Alora’s boyfriends.”
Just as gently, Eve said, “No, it’s nothing like that at all. With Alora, it was the way to get my foundation back. Alora stole everything that was important to me: Mum and Dad’s affection. You weren’t old enough to see it or to remember it, Issie, and by the time you were old enough, I’d made my defenses. With Alora, I was just fighting for ground. When Dominic and I met—do you want to hear this?”
“I do.” Isabelle nodded, her attention rapt for more than one reason, not the least of which being that Eve was speaking in her real tone of voice and was talking about herself, giving Isabelle an in to vulnerabilities. It was rarer than a unicorn.
“I was at a party,” Eve said slowly. “And I was with a guy I’d been dating. The night prior, he’d gotten rough. I told him I wanted to end things, and he said no and got as rough as being at a party would allow, telling me that I was his or no one’s. I saw this guy standing nearby. He was good-looking. He was big. He looked like he could take the guy I was with. Then he turned and looked at us, looked at me, and there was some definite chemistry. So, I walked over and asked if he had a car. He did. I asked him to show me.
“We went outside to his car, and we shagged. The guy came out, like I’d hoped he would, and saw it. Obviously, it was Dominic I was shagging, right? He and Dominic squared off. Dominic threw three punches, and the guy was down. It was the last I saw of him. Dominic was furious at me, rightly, and told me off. I told him he’d gotten what he wanted, and it was a small price to pay. Then we introduced ourselves and went and had pie.
“After that, we went out off and on, but we were too much alike to work. We’re both bastards, and neither of us could commit. Neither of us wanted to. But we did become decent friends. When he went off to try to make his band work, I just let it go because I was trying to get my life on track and grow up, and he wasn’t a good influence to that. Then he turned up with you…and that’s that.”
“You slept together a lot?”
“We shagged a lot. I never let him sleep over. He never let me sleep over either, for that matter. We were always kicking each other out of somewhere for some reason. And, Issie, he usually had a regular girlfriend, too. Like some girl who thought she was the only one. Some good girl. A nice girl. Like you. He always wanted his sweet, good, clean girlfriend for the public eye, and his whores on the side. Plural. So, when he turned up with you, I figured it was the same pattern.”
Isabelle was quiet. There was more revelation there than she could process at the moment, so she grabbed on to what she could. “Was it the same pattern?”
“I don’t know. I do know that you fit what he said he always wanted.”
“I was nineteen when we met. He was twenty-five,” Isabelle said. “Patrick had just gone. Not even a full month. He was different and exciting and wasn’t going to leave me for God.” As she said it, she felt herself starting to cry. She’d never admitted it before. “I just had lunch with Patrick, Eve. He’s here working at Mercy. He’s a pediatrician doing his residency.” Her reunion with him came pouring out while Eve sat and listened, and finally, she ended with, “And I’m married to Dominic. And I love Dominic so I can’t see him again, and I want to see him again.”
“I’m not the one to give you advice, sweetie.”
“You give me advice about Dominic all the time. Why stop now?”
“I can give you advice about Dominic because I’ve been down that road. Any advice I give you is going to begin with ‘run’ and end with ‘as far away from Dominic as fast as you can,’ and you don’t want to hear that.”
“No, I don’t. But, Eve, I still feel something for Patrick.”
“Of course you do. He was your first love.”
Isabelle closed her eyes, letting Eve’s voice soothe her, simply glad to be talking to her sister again. She was stretching for a reason to keep her on the phone when she heard a voice in the background and asked, “Where are you? Are you at the studio?”
“No, I’m in Birmingham.”
“Birmingham? What for?”
“I came up with my neighbor. He’s from here.”
“Oh…oh. I should let you go then.”
“No, I told him I was ta
king this call for as long as it took.”
Isabelle looked at her watch. “It’s taken almost an hour. I’ll let you go. I love you.”
“I love you too. Be good to you.”
Isabelle sat for a while longer, stretching her brain and trying to remember anything of Eve from that time frame. There was a void, though. Eve had been absent from all family contact back then, even alarmingly so. She had skipped two Christmas holidays, hadn’t returned anyone’s calls or e-mails, and had just disappeared. Now and then, she’d sent out a note copying everyone. She would talk about being busy at school, the parties that came with the internship she had at Stella McCartney’s, and mention the weather. The only thing Isabelle knew was that Eve had been in an accident with a boyfriend. Their mother had come across a society photo from a fashion house after-party showing a slice of Eve’s left half, and she was wearing an amazing scarf as a sling for an arm in a flesh-toned cast.
Seeing the cast, their mother had called Eve at her internship and demanded an explanation. “Motorbike smashup” was what she got. Now Isabelle wondered, and she wondered if Dominic would know anything of it. Isabelle had always just thought it was hilarious and totally Eve to have a flesh-colored cast.
Walking home, she tried to think of more, digging for any memories, and came up against a wall that was painful to the touch. Her parents and Alora had just let Eve go. No one seemed to care. When she had questioned it, they had always dismissed her with “Eve’s different, darling,” or “Eve is just very independent. She’s happier alone,” or “Just enjoy the peace.” She’d been too young to do anything, really. She had tried to keep in contact, but she’d been a teen and in love, and there was school and her own parties. The only time she could remember her mother seeming at all concerned was after the photo. And then the response had been: “Classic Eve.”