by Nicole Lane
“You look comfortable,” Isabelle lied, smiling. “And happy. Things are good for you and Tad?”
She nodded, but her face was tight. “Yes, good. Very good. We’re very happy.”
“I’m glad.”
“What about you? Are you and Patrick…?”
“It’s going well. We spend as much time together as we can, but it’s hard with work and school.”
“I guess it would be.”
They ordered their lunch and then sat quietly for a little while.
Eve looked to the ceiling and let out a breath. “You know, I stood outside an extra ten minutes because I was afraid to come in.”
“You? Afraid of me?”
“I wasn’t sure I could face you.” She met her sister’s eyes for the first time, her own swimming in tears.
Isabelle licked her lips and lifted her shoulders, unsure of what to say.
Eve went on. “I can’t ever apologize enough. I know I can’t. And I know I can’t explain it away. I can’t do enough to deserve seeing you again, and, Isabelle, I don’t ever—and I mean this—I don’t ever expect forgiveness. I did a monstrous thing. I was a monster.”
“You hurt me more than anyone ever has,” Isabelle agreed quietly.
“And you’re the only one I ever cared about. I never wanted to hurt you.”
“So, why? Why, Evie?”
“Selfish. Ridiculous. Lonely. Probably jealous. Ridiculous—I said that one. And short-sighted. I know this sounds so…untrue, but until Dominic was proposing to you, I never really connected it in my head. It wasn’t real until then. And then it was too late.”
“I’ve tried really hard not to hate you.”
“I won’t blame you if you do.”
“I can’t. I did try.”
Eve’s face lit with something like hope, but it was quickly chased away by shame. “I can’t make it up to you.”
“No. You can’t.”
They sat in silence after that, Eve looking down at her hands in her lap. Twice, it looked as though she might speak, but she never seemed to be able to find her voice.
“You haven’t heard from any of them?” Isabelle finally asked.
“No. Why would I expect to? After what I did to you? I’m surprised they didn’t come burn my flat down.”
“I didn’t want to tell them.” She shook her head and rattled off her reasoning. “They wouldn’t know if the attorney hadn’t told them.”
Eve’s cheeks colored and then paled. “Well, I couldn’t really expect otherwise, could I?” She blew a hard breath through her nose. “They had to choose, and they chose. I’m just sorry for what I did to cause it all.”
“Have you tried? I mean, have you reached out to them at all?”
“I sent a birth announcement.” She waved her hand and wiped a stray tear in one motion. “It was returned to sender, unopened.”
“That’s a bit beyond the pale.”
Eve let out a laugh at that. “You think? I don’t. They’re protecting you. I shouldn’t even have agitated them with it. Listen, don’t think about it. Okay? You really shouldn’t. It’s nothing to do with you; it’s to do with me. How I behaved. Funny, that out of all of the family, you’re the one who’s talking to me. It’s ridiculous that you are. I…I made incredibly bad, evil choices. I’ve been the worst.”
“Yeah, well, I thought about what you said to me that night and before then, and I realized in your own backward way, you were trying to protect me. I’m still really hurt about the thing with Dominic. I wish you’d just told me the truth at the start so I wouldn’t have ended up married to him. But you’re my sister and I still love you.”
Eve’s mouth twitched.
Isabelle went on. “I understand why you didn’t tell me, though. Actually—” She laughed. “I thought maybe you’d tell me that you’d just made up the story to get me away from him. Maybe?”
Eve looked to the ceiling again and grimaced. “It’s very tempting to say yes to that. You just gave me a glorious, face-saving out, didn’t you? Unfortunately, I’m not a hero. Just the slag who was sleeping with your boyfriend. Sorry.” She covered her face with both hands, smoothing her eyebrows and coughing before returning them to her lap. “Issie, I spent a lot of time talking to my therapist about why I did it, the fact that I can’t make up for it, and how that’s going to affect all of us for the rest of our lives. I don’t want you to think it’s never occurred to me—what it did to you. What it might continue to do to you. I think about it all the time. I think about what it means for your future, for my future, for Xandra’s. I am horrified with myself that I did that to Dominic. Made him a father without him knowing it.”
Isabelle frowned. “Are you sure he’s the father? Xandra doesn’t look anything like him.”
“Oh, I’m sure,” Eve said with a dry laugh. “Issie, I’m sorry. I am. I know that he’s the one.” She hesitated before adding, “Dom and I are still in touch. He came to see her at the hospital and spent some time with her before he left. We’ve got an agreement so that he can be part of her life. It’s, well, I suppose it’s us trying to be grown-ups about the whole thing. I thought you should know. In case it’s…bothersome. I’ve wreaked a lot of havoc with half-truths and lies, and I don’t want to do that again.”
Isabelle paused and let the information settle. Dominic felt like a lifetime ago. Like something that happened to someone else. Finally, she nodded. “Okay. I suppose it doesn’t really matter now, anyway.” She leaned down and picked up a gift bag from beneath her seat. “I bought this for Xandra after I saw the baby’s room you’d done. I don’t know if it still matches now that you’ve moved house, but…” She handed over the bag.
“That’s beautiful.” Eve beamed, pulling out the frog. “She’ll love it. Well, she’ll drool on it. She’s an accomplished drooler. I brought you something, too.”
She drew a small, black linen photo album from her bag and pushed it across the table almost bashfully. “It’s all Xandra. You’ll probably have to forgive me. I’ve promised myself I won’t be one of those mothers who forces everyone to look at photos of her baby all the time, but since Marcus keeps hanging her little mug up all over the studio, I’ve become that mother inadvertently.”
Isabelle flipped through the photos, shaking her head. “She is beautiful.”
“She’s perfect. And I’m so thankful I didn’t damage her early on—before I knew she was in there.”
“I should have been there,” Isabelle said suddenly, looking Eve in the face. “None of us were there.”
“Tad and Marcus were.” Eve drew back slightly, lifting her hands. “And Ken and Samantha—Tad’s parents. I wasn’t alone. And you all were where you should have been. I—Jesus, Isabelle. I knew what would happen when I told you the truth. I didn’t expect anything from any of you. I’m still amazed they left me in quiet; it was kinder than what they could have done.”
Isabelle shook her head. “Through the whole thing, I mean. Your whole term, even before I knew. I wasn’t there. None of us were there. I only showed up at your place to nag you about your past with Dominic or to cry on your shoulder. I never once tried to…We are a terrible family, Eve.”
“I can’t disagree with that, but I can disagree with the rest. I’m not your responsibility.”
“The article said you were alone. You had her alone.”
“Don’t believe everything you read. I was exactly as alone as you can be with twenty people in a room. Alone isn’t bad. Alone is better than with Mum yelling, ‘Push, you tart! Push!’”
Before she could say another word, Isabelle dissolved into tears. “I can’t believe we left you all alone.”
Eve shushed her and scooted her chair around to pull her into her arms. “Shush, silly. Be quiet. It’s not like it was my first rodeo, remember? Different end to it, but I’ve experienced Mother’s thoughtful nurturing first-hand, and having had her through a miscarriage, I’d just as soon never have her within a thousand miles of
my labor room.”
Isabelle sniffed hard, trying to compose herself before the lunches were served. Eve offered up a handful of tissues from a leather pouch, explaining it was from the XRode line of accessories for mothers on the go, seeming to do her best not to dissolve in tears alongside Isabelle. The sisters managed to bond over how Marcus had thought of everything. They trod lightly through the rest of the lunch conversation, and Eve took the tab, asking the server to box up a dessert for her sister as they went.
“Take this home.” She pressed the box into Isabelle’s hands. “Eat it. Don’t worry about me. My God, you’re a saint. We’ll talk soon and arrange a time for you to meet the baby. If you’d like.”
“Yes, please.” Isabelle was trying not to cry again. A sister shouldn’t have to add a caveat to an invitation for a baby to meet her aunt.
“Good.” Eve kissed both her sister’s cheeks and turned off into midday traffic, leaving Isabelle to find her car.
All in all, it hadn’t been bad, Isabelle told herself. At least it was a start.
“My family is weird.” Isabelle sighed to Patrick when they met later on.
“It certainly is,” he agreed with a laugh. “You’re the only normal one, and I’m not sure how that happened.”
“I missed most of the drama, I guess,” she said, shrugging. “Or I just spent enough time with your family to counterbalance.”
He smiled. “That’s a possibility. Mum practically adopted you.”
“I’m glad she didn’t, though,” she said, kissing him.
“Me, too,” he replied, sliding his arms around her. “Though she did tell me that I informed her very early on that I was going to marry you someday.”
“You didn’t!”
“I did.” He nodded. “I was seven, apparently, and just as certain as anything that it was going to be.”
“I’m amazed, since I used to follow you around like a puppy.”
“I adored it. I adored you. You’ve no idea how pretty you were, even then.”
“As I recall, you always had a runny nose.”
“I did. Yes.”
“I loved you in spite of it.”
“We were just meant to be.” He shrugged, kissing her again.
She melted into him, feeling safe and complete in his arms. It had always felt this way, so right that she couldn’t find words to explain it. She’d loved Dominic, but it had never been like this. Not even close.
Patrick began trailing his lips down her neck, making her quiver with pleasure, and she lay back, pulling him with her, wanting the weight of him, his strength taking her over, his body pressing against hers.
They made love with sudden intensity that flared brightly and then burned slowly, carrying them both over the edge together and leaving them in a comfortable tangle as it receded.
“I’ve been thinking—” she sighed, kissing his shoulder “—about us moving in together.”
“Yeah?” he said, lifting his head slightly to look into her eyes.
“Mm-hmm. I know I said we should wait, but ever since you suggested it, I’ve been trying to think of reasons why we shouldn’t do it, and I can’t come up with a single one. And I hate being away from you any more than I have to be.”
“Then let’s do it.”
Chapter 18
FEELING STRONG, HEALTHY, AND GENEROUS, Isabelle invited her mother and Alora over to brunch at her flat. She told them she had a surprise and great news. It seemed to come as no surprise to hear that she and Patrick were moving up to the next level in their relationship, though both expressed some disappointment that he hadn’t already proposed.
“Although,” Alora said, beaming, “I’m sure Patrick is the romantic proposal sort. Likely, he’s working out his plan as we speak. This time—” she laid her hand firmly on top of Isabelle’s “—you get married properly, hmm? Church. Attendants. Olive and Una will be your flower girls. Oh! We’ll get them tiny versions of your dress and—”
Isabelle laughed. “Cart before the horse! Let him propose first, at least.”
“At least.” Their mother smiled between them.
“That’s not my only news,” Isabelle said.
Alora squealed and clapped her hands. “Are you preggers?”
“No! Why would you even think that?”
“Oh, don’t look so horrified. It’s been known to happen when a boy and a girl love each other very much.” Alora patted her own belly.
“I do love Patrick very much, but it’s going to be a while before that happens. I’d like the whole proposal first. But—” she reached for a stack she had in a chair beside her “—it is regarding a baby.”
She handed the black linen photo album Eve had given her to her mother and piled the magazine from Christmas and two more in front of Alora. “I saw Eve,” she said. At Alora’s exclamation, she added, “I phoned her. I saw the OK! spread, and…I missed her. So, I phoned her, and when she got back from Japan, we met.”
“After everything she did to you?”
“Darling, you’re too generous,” her mother agreed.
Isabelle took a deep breath. “If she’d been having an affair with him while we were married, or if—”
“She was sleeping with him while you dated!” Alora cried. “She got pregnant with his baby! You aren’t required to forgive that. You certainly shouldn’t forget it.”
“I know. I know. And I won’t forget it. I told her that. And I told her I was still angry about it. I am. But I also believe she wasn’t being malicious, and she was always very blunt with me about who he was and why I shouldn’t be with him. Anyway—” she waved “—it’s done. He’s gone, I’m back with Patrick as it always should have been, and Eve is still my sister.”
“Well, she’s not mine.” Alora crossed her arms. “I’m just surprised she hasn’t tried to have her way with Doyle.”
Isabelle and her mother exchanged a glance at that, and Isabelle rolled her eyes. “At any rate, there’s a full editorial of the XRodes maternity and children’s line here.” She indicated the sticky note that bookmarked the magazine’s pages. “Eve and her baby are the models. Xandra. Xandra is the baby. Eve’s got another spread in Vogue and a short interview in Elle as well. And this is the photo album she gave me.”
Their mother’s face was inscrutable, her fingers hovering over the album, as though afraid to touch it.
Alora pushed the magazines back across the table. “You think I haven’t seen these? My friends ring me every time she uses that poor little bastard for publicity.”
“Alora!” Isabelle cried.
“Well? Where’s Dominic now?” She wriggled her shoulders like a hen settling back on her nest and huffed.
“In LA, actually, though Eve said he has contact. He’s asked to be part of Xandra’s life, and they’ve worked out an agreement. Listen, I’ve moved past this. Can’t you both?”
“I can’t believe this! She shags your husband behind your back, gets herself pregnant with his baby, and you’re defending her? Did she put you up to this?” Alora demanded.
“No! She has no idea. She said she knew you all had every right to disown her.”
“Damned right we did!”
“But, Lora…she’s been all alone. She was alone when she went into labor, and she had to go through the delivery by herself. None of us were there.”
“Why couldn’t one of her men go be with her?” Alora asked, her voice venomous.
“Tad was out of the country, and by the time she knew she was truly in labor, it was an emergency delivery. I thought you saw the article?”
“Of course I’m not going to read that trash. I just saw the pictures.”
Their mother’s voice was thready when she spoke. “Eve made the choice to be alone.”
“No.” Isabelle shook her head. “Eve made the choice to tell me the truth about Dominic so that I could free myself of him. She never had to say a word, and I shouldn’t ever have told you all. She was well past him, and he’d have
found someone else in no time. God knows what would have happened to me, to our marriage, if she hadn’t told me. He was already being awful. Eve made a mistake, but she tried to fix it—as best she could, anyway.
“Besides,” she appealed to her sister, “you’ve had two full deliveries, and we’ve all been there for you. Even Eve. And you’ve said how painful, and horrible, and terrifying it all is. Just imagine if you were alone. No Doyle, no Mum or Dad, no me, no one at all—imagine that. You can’t tell me you’d wish that on her. More, you can’t tell me you’d wish that on one of your own! What if Una ever does something awful to Olive? Are you going to shut her out in the cold?”
Alora’s mouth opened and shut, and she had the good grace to look ashamed, but she managed to say, “My daughters would never behave that way.”
“No one ever likes to think their children will do wrong,” Isabelle said.
The two stared hard at each other a long moment until their mother said, “Eve made the choice to be alone. She made that choice a long time ago. She’s had no use for us as a family since her childhood, and she’s made that clear time and time again.”
Alora raised her eyebrows and nodded. “See?”
“No, I don’t see. Aside from the whole Dominic thing, which is more complicated than just Eve shagging my boyfriend, she’s only been good to me. And she’s tried to show you all that she wants to mend things. Alora, you know that’s true. She’s not stayed away because she doesn’t want to be part of this family; she’s stayed away because she knows this family doesn’t want her.”
Her mother pushed the photo album away. “There are limits to even a mother’s love, Isabelle.”
Isabelle narrowed her eyes. “There are?” She looked to her sister. “Are there?”
“I…well, I can’t even imagine having a child like Eve, so I suppose we have to take Mother’s word,” Alora stammered.
“All because of what happened when she was a child?” Isabelle asked.
“What she did to you was the last straw, Issie,” her mother said, steepling her fingers, eyes still on the black linen cover of the album. “How could we ever welcome her back into our home? How could we welcome that child of hers? Every time we’d look at her, we would just see her mother’s mistakes.”