by Mari Carr, Red Phoenix, Angel Payne, Sierra Cartwright, Jenna Jacob, Victoria Blue
Her legs wobbled on her heels. She was grateful to be over the bed. If he’d have asked her to hold the armoire, she would have fallen over.
He gave her some time to process the pain, file it away.
Then he turned up the vibrator.
With the way he touched her, talked to her, massaged her muscles, she began to slip away. She was aware of him talking to her, but as some point, pleasure vanquished every other feeling. The high from the endorphins wrapped around her. Each stripe from the cane only gave her a new feeling of bliss.
Then she was aware of nothing, just a soothing, enveloping sensation, much like being in a warm bath.
“Well done.”
She heard the words but didn’t process them, didn’t respond to them.
Cole moved back her hair and kissed the side of her neck.
When she blinked her eyes open, she was sitting up in bed, the comforter wrapped around her bare shoulders, nestled in the crook of Cole’s arm. He’d even managed to extract the bullet.
“You’re back?”
“Yeah.” Her own whisper sounded loud to her. For some reason, all of her senses seemed heightened.
“How are you feeling?”
“Amazing.” It had to have been her state of otherworldliness that made her confess that out loud.
Everything she’d fantasized about had come true. She’d slipped out of her own mind and into someplace more inviting. Subspace. Words didn’t exist to explain it to someone else, the thrill, the way reality had fragmented, and the way colors suddenly seemed so much brighter.
The journey had been so much more exhilarating than she’d dared hope. She’d seen him care for Gia and had been somewhat envious. But now, the way he comforted her, kissed the top of her head, held her with infinite patience was so tender, unlike anything she’d ever experienced.
He reached toward the nightstand and picked up the bottle of mineral water. “You’ll need this.”
She accepted it, and he kept his hand cupped beneath it, just in case.
After she swallowed a couple of sips, she gave it back, noticing the way her hand shook.
“Did you enjoy being someone different for the evening?”
Avery put her hand flat on his chest and pushed herself away from him as much as possible. “Sir?” She frowned.
“Someone you’re not usually. Bold? Brave?”
Her pulse sped then slowed. “Yes.”
His eyes were dark, steel and midnight, uncompromising. “How difficult was it?”
“I’m not sure I understand the question, Sir.”
“Admitting what you wanted. Asking for it. Did you like it?”
She scowled, confused, his clipped tone making her wary. “Yes.”
“Then it’s time for you to be honest the rest of the way. Take off the mask.”
Avery reached up to hold it in place. She shook her head. “That’s not the agreement.” Her world became quicksand.
“It is going forward. I demand honesty from my subs. Make no mistake, we fit together well. I’d be interested in seeing you again, but on the condition you’re honest with me. I deserve it. I demand it.”
She tried to get away, but he caught her wrist. “That sounds like an ultimatum, Master Cole.” Avery hoped her voice sounded distant, as cold as his eyes now were.
“It is. I tried it the other way. I had a sub who couldn’t admit the depth of her feelings, the magnitude of her need, her inability to cope when I was gone. I knew nothing about it. Since I was clueless and she never opened up to share her thoughts, I never knew what was wrong. She resorted to bratty behavior to get my attention, to goad me. The truth is, I would have given her the world.”
Gia.
“Her inability or refusal to communicate, I don’t know which, destroyed trust. I won’t be involved in a relationship without it again.” Cole let go of her, and she felt the absence keenly.
“I recommend you think hard about what you’re willing to tolerate. A lifetime of hiding? Or taking a risk and being courageous? I’d rather be alone than settle for deception again. Be aware of what choices you’re making and the costs.”
Holding a sheet to her breasts, she bolted from the mattress and snatched up her gown.
With carefully harnessed power, he climbed from the bed, naked, spectacular, and overwhelming.
“The next time I see you, it will be without pretense. No mask. No hiding. Every secret laid bare, exposed.”
What the hell had she gotten herself into? “There won’t be a next time. I only wanted a night.”
“More dishonesty?”
“How dare you?” She struggled to get into her dress.
“Let me.”
“You’ve done enough.”
“I said let me.” His eyes were chilly, like a winter’s day.
Damn him and his domineering ways.
Without waiting for another argument, he took the dress from her and raised it over her head.
Once it was in place, she exhaled and reached back to fasten it.
He brushed aside her shaky hands and raised the zipper.
“Thank you.” This wasn’t ending the way she’d envisioned, with her mysteriously slipping from his bed in the middle of the night. She hated the way they were parting.
Cole picked up her vibrator and remote and offered her the pieces. “You can reach me through Joe or Noelle. Or call the Nyte.”
That won’t be happening. “Thanks for the fuck, Mr. Stewart.”
He grabbed her by the shoulders, eyes dark, stormy, threatening. His fingers bit into her skin. “Don’t you fucking dare diminish this.” He gave her a single shake. “It was way more than a fuck for me. And it was to you as well, and that’s why you’re running scared. I’ll tell you this, you’ll remember tonight, you’ll think about it. You may be with someone else, but you’ll want this. And you won’t be able to have it unless and until you stop being a coward.”
Oxygen seared her lungs, but she refused to let him see that.
She pulled away, crossed the room to grab her clutch then stuffed the two pieces of her sex toy inside.
Without a look back, she left the room, pulling the door closed with a decisive click.
Only then did she collapse against the wall.
She put a hand to her throat and drew a couple of breaths to tamp down the adrenaline. How the hell had the evening gone from something so beautifully perfect to a stunning disaster so quickly?
Avery pushed away from the wall, pulled back her shoulders, and headed toward the elevator. Once in the compartment, she smiled at the couple already in there. And she had a momentary twinge of regret over her behavior when she saw them holding hands.
She exited when the car swished to a stop and held it together as she walked to her room.
Inside, she dropped her clutch on the table and made her way into the bathroom to take off her mask.
The reflection in the mirror stunned her.
Mascara stained beneath her eyes. Her hair was a wild mess. Worse, her lower lip trembled.
She told herself that Master Cole and his opinions didn’t matter. They’d shared a couple of hours, nothing more.
Recognizing the lie, she gripped the vanity.
Those hours had been spectacular. She’d achieved the floating sensation that she’d sought for so many years. She’d taken more than she’d imagined she could. He’d given her orgasm after orgasm that left her shattered, not broken, but somehow more complete.
But at what cost?
Chapter Five
God damn it.
Cole Stewart wasn’t known to be a fuckup with women.
Then again, he’d never been with a woman like Avery Fisher.
After she’d left his suite, he’d been tempted to head down to one of the hotel’s renowned bars and drink a few beers.
Instead, he’d changed into workout wear. He’d deal with his emotions head-on, like he’d demanded from her, whether he wanted to or not. Denial was a much easier place to live,
he knew. But reality was worth the fight.
He entered the gym, or Nyte’s definition of a gym. Level Ten took up the entire tenth floor of the hotel and had been named one of the best places to work out in the world. Since he’d been to a lot of those places, Cole was pretty sure the designation was accurate.
Though he appreciated the aesthetics, he was a simple man. All he needed was a place to run and some significant weights. When he had no other options, his own body could be used for resistance, push-ups, sit-ups, planks. But he preferred the satisfaction of curling iron.
He bypassed the cardio equipment and went for the free-weight area. It always surprised him the number of people who worked out at all hours of the night. Not that it should be a surprise, he supposed. Las Vegas was the planet’s playground, and who knew what time zone people were on.
He did squats until his legs burned, curls until his biceps bulged. And still he couldn’t get thoughts of Avery out of his head.
After drinking a bottle of water, he headed for the running track, hoping the mindless repetition would help.
A few miles later, he realized the problem was more with him than with her.
Cole had known that sceneing with someone who wanted to keep her identity a secret was a flawed plan. And he’d done it anyway. Didn’t matter what rationale he’d used; it had been a bad decision.
In his real-world job, that kind of thinking could get him killed.
But what were his choices?
It had been one hell of an evening. He’d been hot for her curvy, submissive body, and he’d enjoyed every moment they’d spent together.
If he’d forced her to take off the mask, she might not have had the nerve to scene with him.
The disguise itself had been the confidence booster she’d needed.
He continued to push himself on the track until his lungs begged for reprieve. And when he began his cooldown, his thoughts were still fragmented.
Despite everything, he was glad they’d spent time together. And more disappointed than he would have believed that she’d fled from him instead of turning to him and trusting him.
His lack of compromise at the end was the only thing he wouldn’t change.
He’d meant it when he’d said he wanted to see her again. There were a thousand things he wanted to do to her, from fucking her ass, to putting her on an iron cross, to sceneing with her in public, to licking her pussy for so long that the only thing she screamed was his name.
Damn it.
Damn her.
In the case he had strapped to his arm, his phone vibrated.
At first thought, he hoped it was Avery to tell him what a horrible mistake she’d made and that she wanted to be real with him. Then he reminded himself she hadn’t taken his phone number.
Dreamer.
That meant it could only be one person.
Nyte.
For once, Cole was glad of it.
Nothing soothed Cole’s dominant beast like focusing on work.
He slowed to a walk and answered the summons.
* * *
If Avery had ever been more miserable, she didn’t remember the occasion.
She wanted Cole Stewart, not just his touch, but his possession, every fucking thing about him.
She stood behind a thick velvet rope line inside a popular Vegas BDSM club, and she was restless.
Excitement had laced through her as she’d wriggled into in a tight leather skirt and bustier. But when she’d added a bolero jacket so she looked somewhat appropriate for leaving her apartment, regret had stabbed her.
She’d wanted to be with a man, see his approval, hear what he might do to her later in the night.
Driving across town by herself had been lonely. And she’d felt awkward walking in alone.
And now… She wondered why the hell she’d thought going to a BDSM club would make her feel better.
A Dom approached, wearing leather pants and a black T-shirt a size smaller than it should have been.
“Sub?”
“Yes.”
He swept a glance over her, and he nodded. “Looking for some action?”
Rather than her heart leaping, disappointment that he wasn’t Cole snaked through her. Mentally, she was comparing this man to him. She shook herself. How screwed up is that?
Too late, she realized sceneing with Cole had been a mistake. Every fucking thing about him had gotten to her, and she wished it hadn’t. He’d made her weak, ruined her for other men.
“I’m just watching.” She realized the man was waiting for an answer. Then she smiled to take the sting from the rejection. “Thank you though,” she added when he was slow to take the hint.
Since he didn’t move away, she did.
She wandered past a medical examination table where a sub’s feet were being lifted into stirrups, then toward another station. A woman dressed as a schoolgirl, complete with ankle socks and plaid skirt, was being instructed to bend over a desk. With her was a man dressed in a suit, looking stern, holding a cane.
Fascinated, Avery stopped and stood off to one side.
The Dom flipped up the woman’s skirt, revealing tight, white cotton panties.
“Have you been a bad girl?”
The sub looked over her shoulder with mock wide-eyes. Or maybe the reaction was real. Avery would never be able to face the cane with anything less than complete respect, even in a play scene such as this.
“Oh, headmaster, I promise I won’t ever do that again. Please spare me!”
“You should have thought about the consequence ahead of time, young lady.”
Those words echoed too loudly in Avery’s head. She should have thought about the consequences of sceneing with Master Cole.
She’d suspected he would spoil her for any other man. And he had. But she hadn’t been prepared for feeling bereft without him.
The Dom gathered the material of his sub’s panties and moved it all to her crotch and yanked, lifting her from the floor.
Avery winced in mute sympathy.
The Dom left the undies bunched together, leaving the woman’s butt cheeks bare to anyone who happened past.
The Dom gave her only a few harsh smacks before letting loose with the cane.
The sound, the way the woman flinched, then the terrible thin line on her skin brought it all back for Avery.
Since she ached for Cole, wanted to be naked, sobbing beneath his cane, she couldn’t watch.
She turned on her platform heels and strode toward a rope bondage scene, burning some energy as she went.
While the beauty of Shibari oftentimes relaxed her, tonight it made her more restless.
After a few minutes, she left the club.
She drove around the outskirts of the city for a long time, avoiding the congestion and distractions of the Strip, and allowed the more open space to seep into her.
Since she’d left Cole’s room a week ago, she’d thought of little else but him and their time together.
Her great-aunt had even noted Avery’s distraction and sent her home early one day.
She stopped at a traffic light and dropped her head onto the steering wheel.
Why the hell am I making this so complicated?
No doubt, what he had demanded of her would be difficult. She was accustomed to letting her man—her Dom—be in charge.
Until last week, that had only led to disappointment.
Beneath the mask, she was someone different, but what if she could learn to be that person all the time?
The car behind her honked impatiently, alerting her to the fact the light had turned green. She accelerated, and so did her thoughts and heart rate.
She’d gained confidence from her time with Master Cole. What if he encouraged and supported her growth?
He’d been right when he’d told her she needed to be honest with herself. So she allowed herself to admit she wanted, needed him.
But now what?
It would take a ton of courage to act on h
er newfound admission, to either show up at his hotel room or ask Noelle for his number.
Unfortunately, Avery wasn’t that brave.
* * *
Avery spent Sunday doing chores, working out, and reading. Since she’d tried a couple of books and nothing could hold her attention, she settled in front of the television and binged on an entire season of a home improvement show. To prove to herself that she wasn’t lame, she opened a bottle of expensive, special occasion wine and poured a glass.
It didn’t help.
No matter what she did, she couldn’t escape the fact her cowardice was the major contributor to her unhappiness.
Once she was in her bedroom, she slipped the bullet vibrator inside her pussy and masturbated to memories of Cole. They were a thousand times more potent than her imagination ever had been.
Even more frustrating, she was unable to climax.
Annoyed, she removed the toy, cleaned it, then dropped it back into her drawer.
At work on Monday she heard people talking about their weekend outings, the movies they’d seen, the parties they’d attended. She replied noncommittally when asked what she’d done then got busy on her spreadsheets.
She stayed later than most people, and Miss Scarlet came into her office.
“Darling girl.” Her great-aunt took a seat without waiting for an invitation. “It’s a man, isn’t it?”
“I’m sorry?”
“It’s always a man.”
“You seem to have done quite well without one.”
“That’s because I had dozens. Still do. I like…” She waved a ring-covered hand. “Variety, shall we say. It’s cost me some relationships.” She shrugged. “Some I regret.”
“Do you?”
“I don’t give advice.”
That was true. “But if you did?”
“Live with no regrets. Do what makes you happy. Anything can be undone. Except, perhaps, chances you didn’t take. If you’ll excuse me.” She stood. “Kevin is in town.”
Avery blinked. “Kevin?”
“He was in a few movies or…something on television.”
“Which Kevin?” A couple of famous names sprang to mind.
“Remember, no regrets.” Without another word, Miss Scarlet breezed out, leaving behind a cloud of perfume.