Leyna glanced over to him, surprised by his statement. “I am not lying to you. I assure you.”
“Not lying, no. But in the same way that you have since the day I met you, I still see you avoiding details. Conveniently bypassing the truth without having to directly mislead me. Are you aware that Prince Enaes continues to search for information in regards to who you are? He has come to me a few times. Once recently, after the doctors returned to Tanispa and mentioned that it was you who helped to stabilize me until their arrival. Hearing that, he assumed I still had contact with you, and came to speak with me. He wants answers that I still am not capable of giving him.”
“What news has he found now which makes you question me? I am not certain things could get much worse than his claims that I do not exist. That the Evantine family holds no knowledge of my life. Do lay it all on me now while I am too emotionally drained to care about the accusations.”
“Leyna, no, that is not it,” Thade frowned, leaning forward to rest his hand gently on her shoulder. She stared down at it, unsure of how to react. “I am not accusing you of anything. I mention it in hopes of figuring out what you are hiding. It is hurting you. I can see it in your eyes.”
“You see a great deal in my eyes, sir,” she breathed, exasperated by his actions. Confusion settled on her even thicker than before. She wanted to tell him everything. For him to take her in his arms and tell her that it all would be fine. While yet another part of her was angry. Not with him, but at the thought of having to defend herself. At his constant claims of seeing the truth in her eyes and yet still asking her for more. “Please tell me what he has told you. I am hoping to learn something about myself that you have heard, or plucked from my eyes.”
She was amazed at the steadiness of his gaze, never flinching at her outburst. Hurt was evident in his expression, but she couldn’t tell if it was pain caused by the way she spoke to him, or if it was at the thought of what he had learned of her. His voice was soft, soothing. “It is not important right now, but if it will ease your mind at all to know, he has traced you back to the academy in Carpaen. When he questioned me about you, I told him you were said to have been an assistant to one of the teachers there. It seems that while there was no record of a Leyna Evantine as a student, a human male there recognized the name and confirmed that she had helped him teach for a few years. Sadly, he knew nothing of her parents, or where she came from before she arrived there. All he said was that she cared for a young child, but no one had seen either of them in years.”
“Blaise,” she whispered. A smile passed over her lips. She was grateful to him. Finally, someone had been able to confirm her existence. But what more did they want? They required records. Birth documentation. Proof of her parents and heritage. None of that was accessible to her. If Enaes had been unable to locate them in Tanispa’s books, then she was at a loss as for an alternative. Unless her mother had held a copy of it – but no. How would she possibly be able to know? Her mother had been dead for so long, anything belonging to her had most likely been destroyed or sold.
“You know this human?” Thade asked, hearing her speak the name under her breath.
“Of course I do, sir,” she sighed, leaning back against the settee cushions in defeat. “I taught at his side for years. I know this to be true, regardless of what anyone else has to say. But none of this matters right now. Who I am does not change the fact that we are facing a possible war. They want to join forces with the Namiren and Sanarik, using Arcastus to rebuild the Ven’shal army. Oksuva is awaiting word from Damir and then she will be headed to meet with him. To perform the ritual to revive Arcastus’s corpse. There will be no notice beforehand to allow us a chance to intervene.”
“And what of you? What are your plans for the mission at this point? Do you still insist on remaining amongst the enemy, or will you now accept my offer to have you work alongside Feolan and myself to arrange a defense against them?”
“What help could I possibly be to you if I am not gathering information from the enemy?”
His face brightened somewhat at her words. It was the closest to bending she had ever exhibited in regards to the matter. “Queen Nesperiti has granted you a position on her court for your exemplary service during the war. With that status, you could accompany us to speak with the governments of possible allies to build up our own military strength. We know the intentions of our enemies. That will allow us a head start, at the very least, in preparing our defense.”
It was tempting. She wanted out, away from Mikel and Oksuva. After her last meeting with Kael, it seemed almost necessary for her to leave. But to accept his offer now would take her away from her chance to get her revenge on Damir. How worth it was the risk, though? If she stayed with them, it was more likely that she would meet her own demise at Damir’s hands before she ever found an opportunity to strike. She was outnumbered. If it came to war, she could always seek him on the battlefield.
“You have my attention. But I cannot simply just leave. Nothing is that easy.”
“Do you know anyone who might be able to bargain for your release from Mikel’s employ?” Thade asked. “Although Kael may not be trustworthy to us on the mission, he might be a valuable tool in getting you out of there. I vaguely recall hearing something about his removal from Mikel’s home. Perhaps he could argue for the release of his betrothed.”
She couldn’t believe she was actually considering the offer. For years she had fought against leaving the mission, but now it meant so little to her. There was nothing there for her. Mikel was useless. He had been nothing but a pawn to Oksuva. Leyna’s continued involvement with Damir and Kyros would possibly be more of a threat to the mission than a benefit. Not to mention the draw of finally being able to make her own choices, rather than having to follow the orders of someone else, down to the way she dressed and did her hair.
Once Kael was sober, it was possible he could be reasoned with. It was doubtful he would be able to argue Mikel out of ownership. But he had powerful friends. If she could convince him it was to their benefit that she be removed, then perhaps he would willingly seek a means of assistance. “I will see what I can do. Kael will be impossible to speak with until he is sober. And even then, it could take some work.”
“Leyna.”
In her excitement, she almost missed the sound of his voice speaking her name. It was so quiet. Hesitant. “Yes?”
“It is not any of my business, but I feel compelled to inquire,” he said softly, once again catching her eye, staring deeply into them. “Have you given any thought to ending your engagement if Kael continues down the path he has started?”
It was an innocent question. But one she had not considered. Never once had it even crossed her mind through this all. It was logical, at the very least. Release from an engagement, however, was not something easily attained. It lay in the hands of the priests to decide if there was just cause, and history had proven it difficult to convince them it was appropriate. “I am not certain the priests would see fit to grant me that request,” she said quietly. “They would view his choices as a hardship that I should stand by him through and try to help him. My only chance would be to find a way to convince them that the engagement should not be valid at all.”
Thade nodded his head, rising slowly from the settee. “We will have to look into that matter once we have you safely out of harm’s reach. If you desire to do so, that is.”
“We will see how things go. For now, I need to figure out what I am going to do. The morning will be upon us soon. I need to get back into town before anyone finds a reason to start looking for me.”
Moving across the floor, Thade peered through one of the curtains, his face revealing a hint of concern. “Feolan and Lady Diah should have been back by now. I feel I should go searching for them, but I would not want to intrude if they are alright and merely – staying out.”
“I am sure they are fine,” Leyna smiled. She wasn’t sure how to respond to his concern, or what woul
d be appropriate to say. It was strange to think that she would be working by his side again. She only hoped that her misplaced feelings for him would not cause any awkwardness. For now her behavior remained appropriate. Or at least Thade had not given any sign to indicate he had noticed a difference.
He let the curtain fall back into place over the window, leaving them there again in the silence of the dimly lit room. Shifting uncomfortably, Leyna took a step toward the door. She didn’t know what else to say. The quiet was unbearable. She feared he would hear the loud thudding of her heart pounding inside her chest.
At the door she stopped, turning to face him again. He was watching her. It made her shiver slightly to think that his eyes had followed her across the room. She stared back at him, wishing and praying he would say something to break the silence.
“You know you can come here if you ever need,” he said quietly. She nodded to him, smiling nervously. He was acting odd. His posture had stiffened, as if suddenly more aware of his surroundings. Stepping closer, every motion slow and precise, gauging his distance based on her reaction to his approach, he spoke. “I wish there was more I could do to help. You have done so much for me…”
“Thade, please,” she whispered, holding her hand out to stop him. “You owe me nothing. You have done more than you could realize and it is I who am in your debt. Someday I promise I will make everything right between us.”
“I did not realize there was anything wrong between us.”
She gazed at him, enamored by the way he looked in the dancing light of the distant candle. There could never be anything wrong with him. All the faults lay within her. The childish infatuation which she couldn’t seem to escape, even after all these years. She could hide from it when not near him, but in his presence it came rushing back, haunting her. “I should go,” she breathed, her hand already on the door, twisting the handle, letting in the cool air of the night.
Flustered by the unwanted emotions, she emerged onto the street, ignoring the confused look which spread across Thade’s face. A gasp escaped her at the feeling of his hand reaching out to hers. She stopped, prevented from stepping down off the porch, her body turning to face him in surprise. “Why must you leave so suddenly? Have I said or done something to offend you?” he asked, his eyes burning into hers.
“No,” she breathed, her awareness of the open street distracting her from the emotion she would otherwise have felt at his desire for her to stay. Anyone could see them there on the porch. How would that scene look to an uninformed observer? It was scandalous for her to even be there with him. Especially without the presence of Feolan. “People will see us,” she pushed his hand away, gazing up at him in desperation. “Kael has already accused me of having some sort of affair with you or Feolan. I cannot risk him hearing that I was here –”
“He accused you of what with me?” Thade was taken aback by the thought.
Leyna wanted to answer him. To share the ridiculous claims Kael had made. But something was stopping her. A feeling of being watched, appraised from the darkness, somewhere along the street.
Shuddering, she turned away from Thade’s questioning stare. Someone was there. But who? No one knew where she headed other than Zander – and he would have no reason to skulk in the shadows.
Thade had sensed it also. Leyna could tell by the way he stiffened at her side, the way she’d seen him do so many times during the war when preparing for an attack. Reaching back inside the house, he retrieved a sword from somewhere near the door, gripping it tightly in his hand and guiding her behind him, shielding her from view. “Show yourself,” he demanded. “Only a coward would spy on a member of the Queen’s court and refuse to show their face when discovered.”
“And give up the best seat for the show? Where is the fun in that?” The sound of Kael’s voice was like ice, brimming with an undertone of pure unabashed rage. “At least I know now which one of you it is. To think, all this time, I was convinced it was your little man servant. I actually thought you were better than this.”
“Speak plainly, fool. If you wish to make an accusation, do not waste my time with veiled innuendo.”
He appeared as if from nowhere, the sound of his sword echoing through the street with the draw of his blade against its sheath. The darkness in his eyes glittered eerily in the light of the moon. Menacing. His hand held the blade out, directing the tip threateningly toward Thade. “You want it plainly?” he scoffed. “Take your hands off my woman.”
“I have not laid a hand on her.”
“You lie! I watched you. My eyes do not play tricks on me. Did you really think you could keep her to yourself and I would never find out?”
“I suggest you think very carefully about whom you are pointing your weapon at, and the severity of the accusations you are making,” Thade replied calmly. He showed no sign of faltering at Kael’s demeanor, his guard remaining steady while his voice was confident. “Lower your blade, or I shall be forced to relieve you of it.”
Lunging forward, Kael jabbed his sword at Thade, the clashing metal echoing through the street as Thade easily knocked it aside. Leyna’s mind shut down at the sound of Kael’s strike, no longer thinking clearly. She had to stop this. It was all a misunderstanding and someone was going to end up dead because of it. “Stop this,” she demanded, stepping boldly in front of Thade, positioning herself between him and Kael protectively. “I have already told you that there is nothing between the Consul and I.”
“I do not trust him!” Kael shouted. Sharply he lifted his sword back up, pressing the flat of the blade underneath her chin, forcing it upward. “Now get out of the way so I can defend what is left of your honor, and my own, after your actions.”
It had been some time since she’d found herself on this end of a sword. Her heart fluttered wildly in her chest. So exhilarating, but not in the way she remembered it. Back then it was for a reason. A good cause she could get behind and feel justified in dying for. This was nothing but Kael’s desire to make himself appear more powerful to the Consul. To try and show him he was someone to be feared.
“My honor is perfectly intact. I give you my word there is no need for defending anything here.”
“Intact?” Kael laughed. “The only man your honor is intact with is me, darling. You seem to give it away freely to everyone but your own husband.” Slowly he lowered his blade, aiming it at her chest, hovering just above her heart. “I should have known you would come here. I mistakenly believed you would run back to Zander’s bed like the good little slave that you are.”
“I was never Zander’s slave,” she stated firmly. That truth was harmless to her now. Not that he would believe it.
Eyes flashing furiously, Kael moved in closer, pressing the blade against her skin. “So you were his willing whore? Is that it?”
“Kael, I never slept with Zander – or Thade or Feolan – or anyone for that matter,” Leyna replied, her voice steadier than she expected to hear come from her own lips.
Shifting backward, she pushed down on the blade of Kael’s sword with her palm, side stepping quickly to reach his hands, her fingers groping to pry the weapon away from him.
“You expect me to believe that?” Kael shouted. With precision, he lifted his elbow up, catching Leyna’s jaw painfully with the strike, sending her stumbling back under the impact. Pain shot through the right side of her face. It blinded her momentarily, white flashing before her eyes. “Do you realize the fool I look? Everyone knows that my wife sleeps with anybody but me. You have humiliated me!”
“You humiliate yourself.” Thade’s blade thrust neatly at Kael’s hands, their swords clashing together, distracting Kael from Leyna’s disoriented form. “It is my honor you attempt to tarnish now. Your betrothed and I are friends. We have never been more than that, nor will we ever be. If you intend to continue your mistaken claims, then I will be forced to prove my honor by my sword against yours.”
Something knocked Leyna breathless with a force more devastating
than Kael’s elbow. Deep in her chest it was like a knife twisting, piercing through the very heart that felt to have stopped beating inside her. She didn’t need to see to know where the blow had come from. No hand dealt it; the lingering echo of Thade’s words reverberating inside her head.
Nor will we ever be.
Why did it matter to her? She had, even just that night while in his presence, forced down the feelings which welled up inside, chiding herself, telling her heart it was nothing more than childish infatuation. The pain in her chest indicated it was more than that. It was beyond any mindless crush she’d seen the girls at Faustine’s experience at the thought of the young boys they happened to pass in town.
The truth stung her. Wounded her. She couldn’t focus on the words passing between the two men, the clanging metal of their blades drowning out everything. It hit her like a revelation that had come too late to save her from her own naivety.
She loved him. Zander had lectured her about the feeling, her own heart having never fully understood what he meant until that moment. That moment when it became clear that she could never have what she wanted. All those years she’d been too afraid to admit the way she felt, worried that it would ruin everything. Worried that she wasn’t good enough.
But she wasn’t good enough. Just watching Thade, fluidly parrying and redirecting Kael’s strikes, the movement of his body a work of art in motion before her very eyes. The Consul for Queen Vorsila. A man could not gain a higher rank among their people unless he was a prince. Who was she to think that she could ever be good enough for him? That she could ever be worth the effort he put forth now to defend against the dishonor her very presence had brought to his name under Kael’s jealous allegations.
Through the haze of her thoughts, she became suddenly aware of a third blade entering into the fray. Another voice shouting sternly through the night air. “Kael, have you gone completely mad? Drop your weapon now or you will be taken into custody for treason.”
The Myatheira Chronicles: The Vor'shai: From the Ashes (Volume 1) Page 57