It was like an escape. A moment of peace in the middle of all the torment life constantly threw at her. She was only partially aware of Maeri’s eyes watching her, surprised by something she’d seen, but hesitant to speak. Sulking, Leyna lowered herself down, immersing herself completely into the water, her head submerged to hide from the questioning gaze of her friend. Her scars. Maeri had not seen them the night the doctor removed the fluid from her lungs. Could it be that she never asked Feolan what they saw which startled them so much? Or had Feolan avoided the question?
“Leyna?”
The voice was muffled from under the water. Begrudgingly she lifted her head up, wiping the water away from her face, gazing at Maeri solemnly. “Please don’t ask. It is not something which I am comfortable explaining.”
“Those marks look old. Too well-healed to have been caused by anything recent. Have you had them all while I have known you, and I simply never noticed?”
“Yes. But I said, I do not wish to speak of them,” she sighed, leaning back against the cool tiles of the bath. Why did she hesitate to speak to Maeri? There were questions Leyna wanted to ask her as well. It was a perfect opportunity, but how could she possibly bring them up without also having to share information about her own life that she preferred not to offer. Much like her curiosity about Thade, she couldn’t expect details from her friends without providing some of her own in return.
“Are they from the war?”
Why would she not leave it alone? Leyna straightened up, holding Maeri’s gaze steady. She refused to answer the questions. But she would see how willing Maeri was to speak on her own past. “Who was your father, Maeri?”
She looked shocked by the question; her eyes blinking rapidly. Her jaw hung open in silent confusion. “My father? That is a strange question. How does that have anything to do with the marks on your back?”
“Tell me your father’s name, and we will see.”
“Aviden Diah,” she replied proudly, her chin jutting outward. “The Duke of Escovul. Given his title by Queen Vorsila herself. Is that satisfactory enough for you to now answer my question?”
Aviden. Deep down, she’d known. Her suspicions had run rampant since the first time she heard Maeri’s family name. Really heard it. It sparked curiosity at the masque that night but it was when she had introduced herself to Zander that the reality had sunk in. Aviden Diah. Her mother’s voice rang clearly in her head. They’d gone to Aviden the night they left Tanispa. It is Damir. He knows – about us. Or at least about Leyna.
She is your daughter as much as mine.
“Where is your father now?” she asked, ignoring Maeri’s prodding to get her own answers from Leyna. This was far more important than the marks on her back. If only Maeri knew! This changed everything.
“He is dead,” Maeri frowned. “He was killed when I was seven. No one ever really explained to me what happened, so I hope that reminding me of his death is enough to satisfy your curiosity.”
“How old are you now?”
“Thirty-three.”
“And you were seven when he died?”
“When he was murdered, yes. Leyna, please,” Maeri begged, her expression contorting to near tears at the memories Leyna’s questions recalled in her. “Why does any of this matter? I have spent years trying to get past it.”
Thirty-three. Leyna wasn’t hearing the quiet protests of her friend. There were two years between them. A smaller gap than she’d thought before. She had been nine when her own mother was killed at the hand of Damir and his assassins. Which would have made Maeri seven at the time. She gasped in horror, looking up to Maeri desperately. “Oh, gods, Maeri.”
“What is it?” The misery instantly left Maeri’s voice at the sight of Leyna’s face. Kneeling down at the side of the bath, she reached out to Leyna. “What is wrong? Are you in pain?”
Rising from the water, Leyna hurriedly climbed up the steps from the bath, snatching a towel off a shelf near the door. She wrapped it around her body, concealing the scars on her back from view, her eyes still burning into Maeri’s. He knows – about us. Damir knew. Aviden was her rightful father and Damir had found out. “I think I know who killed your father…”
Maeri froze, aghast at what Leyna was suggesting. “How could you know?” she stammered, shaking her head in disbelief. “No one could tell me anything. I asked my mother for years and she refused to answer me.”
“She refused because she likely did not want to admit to you the truth,” Leyna exhaled, pacing the floor excitedly at the realization. Sarayi and Aviden had been lovers. It all made sense to her now. The details had been hazy to her as a child because she didn’t understand what was being said, but now – It all fit. Father, you are the one that married me to that Ven’shal scum. You know Aviden had already asked for my hand in marriage before you decided to get in the way. “Your father had been involved with another woman prior to marrying her. He had another child. A daughter.”
“I have a sister? That isn’t possible,” Maeri argued. “Besides, you still haven’t told me how you know of all this. How can you be so certain it is true?”
“Because I was the daughter.”
The room fell deathly silent. She had said it. For the first time since her mother’s death, she had spoken the truth of her past. And it was frightening. The timing of everything was too perfect. Damir must have discovered the identity of her mother’s previous lover. He was the vengeful type. Never would he have allowed that man to live.
“But I have heard Feolan and the Consul talking about Prince Enaes’s attempts to find you. They have not been able to verify your identity. How can you be so sure of who your father was? Surely if a Duke had fathered a child, the Queen would have documentation of the birth. There is nothing. The Prince has looked everywhere.”
That was the most frustrating thing of all! How could she prove anything to anyone when her missing identity constantly thwarted her? And how? Who had been so thorough as to erase all records of her and influential enough to have accessed the Queen’s records?
A member of the Queen’s court, perhaps. One who had good reason to fear the scandal being discovered. Iden? Her own grandfather? He had screamed at her mother about what a disgrace she was. How the truth would ruin their family. And more recently, he lied to Enaes. He claimed to have no grandchild. Only a fool would blatantly lie to their prince about something if they knew there was proof against their lie. But it would be easier to fabricate the story if he knew such proof was gone.
In a rush, Leyna ran out of the room, moving swiftly back to the cover of her own chambers. Digging through her bags, she retrieved her nightgown, pulling it over herself desperately, afraid Zander and Thade would come walking in to find her there in nothing but her bathing towel. The nightgown covered her completely, the simple white fabric lined with lace around the high neck. Reaching to her wrists, the sleeves were loose, elegantly billowing out from the shoulders. A single cornflower blue ribbon wrapped around the empire waist. It draped lightly down the front of the garment, fluttering in the air almost to the ground at the hem, brushing over her bare feet.
Maeri’s soft footsteps on the hard floor alerted Leyna to her presence in the room once again. Unasked questions could be seen in Maeri’s eyes, but Leyna didn’t want to talk about the past anymore. There were too many questions she couldn’t answer which would only create more confusion. She hoped that in accepting Thade’s offer to join Queen Nesperiti’s court, it might open up possibilities for her to uncover the truth. She needed to know it if she had any hope of righting the wrongs that had been done to her and her family. She needed to know who had destroyed her. Who had led her mother down the road to her death.
“Kael is convinced that I am having an affair with the Consul,” she said quietly, avoiding acknowledging anything they had discussed before. In changing the subject, she prayed Maeri would be distracted from prolonging the uncomfortable topic. “He showed up there tonight and found us there together
. Talking. In truth, I was already leaving. But he accused the Consul of dishonoring him, and attacked.”
“You would be better off with the Consul, in my opinion,” Maeri shrugged.
Leyna grimaced at her words. The painful pressure in her chest returned, reminding her of the miserable reality that she could never have him. “That may be so, but the Consul is a good bit above me in rank, if I do say.”
“What does rank matter? If you love someone, there should not be specifications of title standing in the way.”
“Rank matters more than anything when it comes to someone of his status,” Leyna gasped, turning to face Maeri in surprise. “He is next to royalty. Do you not think his family would step in to prevent him becoming involved with a nobody? He could never love someone like me, so therefore I must never allow myself to think it possible.”
“You love him.”
The smile on Maeri’s face made Leyna blush. “I did not say that,” she breathed. “I said I cannot pretend he could ever think that highly of me. We are separated by his rank. I am lucky he even associates with me as a friend.”
“Your eyes tell the truth while you try to cover it up,” Maeri laughed softly, moving over to stand beside Leyna in the center of the room. “No one would ever blame you for feeling that way, Leyna. You shouldn’t be so ashamed of it. And rank or not, how could he deny you? You have saved him from death at least twice. That has to count for something.”
“Maeri, he cannot know that I think of him as anything more than a friend. Too many things are against us. I am sure it is a feeling which will go away with time.”
“If my father is in fact yours, then rank is not one of those things coming between you. The Evantine family is of noble blood. Iden Evantine holds firm to his position as the Count of Voiene while the Diah family remains linked to the Dukedom.”
“And I have nothing which proves my heritage to either line, so therefore I am nothing but a nameless orphan who just happened to save his life.”
“That act alone could earn you a position of nobility and rank, regardless of your heritage. But you refuse to let anyone commend you for it. You run away from the Prince and avoid all praise from anyone else for your deeds. There are many things which could be in your favor if you desired him. You just need to let down your walls.”
“Maeri,” Leyna cut in. She feared that if she allowed her friend to continue speaking, she might actually start to believe it was possible. That was a heartache she didn’t care to endure. “I am engaged. Plain and simple. My betrothed has now accused me of having an affair with the Consul. In the event of my engagement being dissolved, I still could not be with the Consul, even if I wanted to. Even if he wanted me. Can you imagine how it would look if I denied accusations of intimacy between myself and Thade and then upon separating with Kael suddenly was seen to be close with him?”
Understanding flashed over Maeri’s face at Leyna’s explanation. How could she think to deny the truth in it? Such a scandal would ruin them both. And she couldn’t bear to think of causing that much dishonor to Thade. He didn’t deserve the accusations already being tossed at him so wildly by Kael. She couldn’t risk unintentionally giving the empty allegations any appearance of truth to those around them.
Before Maeri could say anything, the sound of approaching footsteps echoed through the hall, silencing their conversation. Leyna felt the heat building up in her face at the sight of Thade entering the room. She was afraid the men might have overheard their discussion. She’d never be able to look Thade in the eye again if he knew the way she felt about him.
He paused in the doorway, his eyes glancing over her. For a moment he looked almost surprised. She realized how she must look to him, standing there in her nightgown, her hair damp and tangled about her head and face. It was embarrassing. In her distraction she had failed to think about her appearance. Regardless of whether or not she could ever be with him, she didn’t want him to see her looking so bedraggled.
There was a brush in the closet, resting atop her bags. Reaching out for it, she began to run it through her hair, wincing at the tangles catching in the bristles. “How is Zander? The wound is not too severe, I hope?”
“It is deep,” Thade nodded. As if only just realizing he had stopped moving, he stepped further into the room, allowing Zander an opening to stand beside him. “But we managed to get it cleaned and stitched. It will hurt for a while, but it will not cause any permanent damage.”
“The Consul is faster with a needle than any doctor I’ve ever seen,” Zander chuckled. He was still favoring his left arm. The fabric of his shirt was pulled up, tinged with red over the laceration. It had fallen down just enough to hide most of the cut from view, only revealing a few small stitches on the bicep, an inch or two above the elbow.
Leyna smiled in spite of her discomfort. “He has used them on many people over the years. Myself included. A handy one to have around if you accidentally block a blade with your body instead of your weapon.”
“I think I tend to forget that, unlike most people who frequent the court, the Consul actually knows what it is like to serve on the battlefield. Makes him more respectable,” Zander mused, fumbling over his sleeve to pull it back down, hiding his injury completely from sight. “Leyna, you look to be alright, save for the swelling I see starting on your cheek. Does it hurt at all?”
Mid-stroke, she paused her efforts to tame her knotted hair. She’d forgotten about her own injury. It was mild in comparison to any others she had sustained over the years. It was hard for her to even consider it more than just a simple bump. Shifting her jaw around, she tested the function of the joints, feeling a slight pressure and tightness over the right side, not enough to cause her any alarm. “I have endured worse. Swelling only lasts for a few days and then it will be good as new.”
“I cannot believe he hit you,” Maeri scowled. “Has the man lost his mind?
“Possibly,” Leyna frowned, idly continuing her careful work on her hair. “It is hard to say what was affecting him more tonight. The magic or the alcohol. If it was the alcohol, then it may be possible to speak rationally with him at the prison when he wakes up. If it was the magic, I fear he could be lost to us for good.”
“Either way, we are increasing our risk of being caught by remaining here into the daylight hours,” Thade announced calmly. “Maeri, you will either have to attempt to learn how to ride the other horse without the feminine tack, or we will have to quickly find a way to tow it behind us.”
Maeri’s face fell at the thought of riding the horse on her own. “I do not know the first thing about riding without the proper equipment,” she stammered. “It just seems so horribly uncomfortable and hard.”
The sound of Zander’s snickering only added to the pink in her cheeks, rising up to the tips of her ears. Giving in to the humor of Maeri’s embarrassment, Thade joined in with Zander’s laughter, patting her on the back while making his way over to the window. “I will not torture the poor woman this time, though I make no promises, if we are ever forced to ride like this again, that I will not make you try to ride.” He turned a solemn gaze on Leyna. “It is my hope that you will still consider leaving the mission as we discussed this evening. I would feel more comfortable knowing you were safely working with me rather than like this.”
“I will make my decision based on how things go tomorrow. With Kael no longer here, there will be questions. If things get too dangerous, I will find a way to leave and seek you out.”
“That is exactly what I am afraid of. If the others discover you to have been in any way involved with his arrest –”
“Consul,” Leyna replied softly. Formally. It felt less personal to say what she needed to say if she addressed him by his title rather than his name. “Words cannot express how sorry I am for all of this. Things got out of control and it is not fair that your name has been dragged into this mess.”
Shaking his head, Thade held up his hand to silence her. “Please, do not apo
logize. This is in no way your fault, and I do not want you to worry yourself by thinking it is. Kael’s accusations are misplaced and hollow. His words should not cause either of us a single moment of unrest.” Motioning toward Maeri to follow him, he pulled the window up, his legs swinging over the ledge. “Just remember what I said about helping you. You need only say the word, and I will go the priests.”
The priests. Yes, they had discussed it, but the conversation had been interrupted before she could say to him what she had wanted to say. He asked her to swear to him that she was being truthful. She only hoped he would accept her word on her honor.
She let the brush in her hand clatter to the floor, moving quickly over to the window, grabbing Thade’s arm before he could lower himself all the way down to the ground. He looked up at her, surprised by her sudden desperation. Their eyes gazed back at one another. It was as if he already knew what she intended to say before the words even touched her lips, anxiously waiting to hear the sound of her voice speaking them.
Leaning forward, she brought her face down close to his, her lips hovering near his ear. A flutter ran through her heart at being so near to him. It took her a moment to regain her composure, nearly forgetting what she wanted to say. “I swear to you that I have never lied to you,” she whispered. The sound of her own voice was so quiet; she feared it would be carried away on the morning breeze, never reaching Thade’s ears. “One day I will find a way to prove it all, but until then, I can only give you my word that I would never lead you astray.”
“You do not have to prove anything to me, Leyna.” His response was soft, barely even a whisper. The sound was familiar to Leyna, though she couldn’t place from where, seeming unimportant at the time. All that mattered was that he believed her. The sound of his voice whispering her name made it all feel worth it.
The Myatheira Chronicles: The Vor'shai: From the Ashes (Volume 1) Page 59