"Then who?" Lawrence demanded, unable to stand the suspense.
"Ben."
"Ben?"
"Yes, Ben." She sighed and shook her head. "It's awful. I can't talk to another wolver. I can't look at another wolver without my wolf snarling and snapping."
"You don't think you're mate-crossed, do you?"
It happened infrequently, but it did happen. A wolf recognized its mate, but the mate's wolf recognized another. It was referred to as mate-crossed because the genetic wiring got crossed.
"How would I know? I only know that every time I look at him, he's looking at Reb."
"He's not looking at Reb," Darla muttered. "He's looking at the future Mate."
"He is, isn't he?" Reb murmured more to herself than to the others.
"Reb," Darla warned. "I don't like that look on your face."
"What are you planning, Rebecca?" Arnold asked cautiously.
"Well," she began, but the thought was gone. Her chin came up, and her eyes went wide. "Louisa!" she cried as the female wolver screamed.
Chapter 25
River was off the ladder and running before the woman finished the first scream of her child's name. Ben was right behind him as he ran toward the river. Others followed behind. While they ran toward the screeching female, River veered left and headed downstream. Ben stayed with him.
Cold dread filled River. He'd always believed in Fate and Luck. Fate hated him and Luck never held. He'd never prayed before, but he was praying as he ran. Don't let it be. Don't let it be. But it was.
They reached the bank at the place where the water grew deeper and ran with a swifter current. Still further downstream, they saw the bobbing head and flailing arm. It disappeared beneath the swirling water. They were too late to intercept the pup before he was carried away.
River kept running. The ground along the banks beyond where they stood became more roughly cut and overgrown. They couldn't keep up their running pace while travelling such uneven terrain.
Behind him, Ben swore. "He's gone, damn it. River, give it up."
But River couldn't. Not this time. "Help me," he prayed, not realizing he shouted his words aloud.
A fallen tree blocked his way. He leapt, and the moon answered his prayer with her power and blessing. He landed on forepaws, hind legs catching up and coiling beneath him. He sprang again, this time over the pile of rocks that barred his path. Free of the clumsy and awkward human body, his wolf tore along the bank. Keen ears heard the cub's choked cry. Keen eyes saw the water darkened head bob along the surface. River kept running. Legs churning, he tore through the woods. Trees tried to block his way. He skirted them. Vines reached out to tangle him in their webs. His feet were too agile to be captured. His sleek wolf's body maneuvered over and around each obstacle meant to keep him from his goal.
These were his woods and here he was king. Flora bowed before him, and fauna scattered in his wake. Instinct found the path he needed to bring him to the place along the bank where he was high enough to see. He was ahead of the pup. He had to be.
"There!"
Body stretched taut to extend the distance, River sailed from the bank, a soaring blur of fur and power.
His human body hit the water and collided with the pup's. River clasped the boy to his chest, gasped for air, and went under. They were rolled, tossed, and turned. He caught sight of the light, lost it, found it again, and fought his way toward it. Arms reaching for the light, he shoved the body he held, up and up, so the pup broke the surface first. He followed, barely had time to suck in air, before he was swallowed again. This time he managed to keep the limp body of the child aloft, but the weight drove River down and kept him under.
Again and again, his body was battered against the rocks as the swirling waters demanded he give up his burden. Choppy white peaks splashed against his eyes, blinding him. Dark shapes rose as if by magic, where none were there before. He bent and curled, pushed off when his feet hit solid surface, and did what he could to protect the body in his arms. Something sharp stabbed at his back. His shoulder crashed against another boulder and he tried to reach out, but his hand slipped uselessly from the slick surface. When he could hold it no longer, the fiery air burst from his lungs. The churning water replaced it, yet he held the pup above him.
The river broadened and slowed. River resurfaced, coughed up water, and choked on the intake of air he so desperately needed. Feet kicking, he spun in a circle, searching for the closest bank. One arm held firmly around the silent and unmoving cub, he kicked out with his feet, and pulled himself through the water with one hand.
He fought the current and at last reached the steep bank. He clawed at it. Dirt and small stones rained down on him, denying him purchase. The bank was too high and steep to climb. He was too weak and the pup too heavy in his arms. River grabbed a protruding root and hung on, while time slowly passed and the water's constant tug at his body urged him to let go.
"Let the cub go, River, give him up."
"Let go," his wolf cried as it had before. "The others need us."
No. Not this time.
"Damn it. I can't reach him from here unless you lift him up."
Desperation gave him strength. He had to get out, had to find the others. They'd be frightened. They'd be alone. No one should be alone and afraid. It did something to you. It killed you inside. He couldn't let that happen to them.
Legs and feet numbed by the cold water, he scrambled against the walls of the bank. He could barely feel what they touched. Twice he slid, but the third time whatever was beneath his foot held firm. He pulled against the root and hoisted his body another foot. The pup was lifted from his arms. One more lost to failure.
"No!"
"I got him. Hang on."
Hand following the legs of the cub, River looked up into the grinning face of Big Ben.
"Hang on," Ben said again.
River pressed his face against the mud of the bank. He wasn't there, he was here, and the pup wasn't Crow.
He heard coughing and choking above him. The pup began to cry. A good sign. And then Ben's hand was reaching out to him, and Ben's strong arm was hoisting him up and over the bank as if he didn't weigh much more than the pup.
River crawled on hands and knees. His back arched and his insides heaved, bringing up the water in his stomach and lungs. Rolling to his back, River spread his arms and looked up into the dimming light. "Thank you," he whispered to the moon that had yet to show her shining face.
"Any time." The blond giant stood above him, holding the pup in the crook of one massive arm. "You okay? Don't need another pat on the back?"
"Yeah, Ben, thanks to you, too. I'm good."
"I'll say. How the hell'd you do that?"
"Just hung on and did my best not to get crushed against the rocks."
"Not sure how you did that either, but I'm talking about the other. How the hell did you flash to wolf?"
Had he? He had and worse, Ben had seen it. "Just happened, I guess."
"Yeah, right, just happened." Ben held out his free hand to offer River a lift to his feet, but when they were both standing, Ben didn't let go. "You win. I couldn't have done that. Couldn't have dived in like that either. Never seen nothing like it."
"Yeah." How did he say what needed to be said. "Look, Ben, you saved my life today. You saved that pup."
River nodded at the child in the big wolver's arms. Fear and exhaustion had taken their toll. The little boy slept against Ben's strong and comforting chest. Slowly, they began the long walk back.
"It wasn't me who flashed, man. You went over the moon when there was no moon. I couldn't move that fast. I couldn't have reached him."
River knew Ben was thinking of what might have happened. But it didn't and that was what the blond giant needed to see.
"Damn good thing, too. If you had gotten there first, there's no way in hell I could haul your fat ass over that edge."
A slow grin spread over Ben's face. "Yeah, I guess so. Still,
what you did was freaky."
"Yep. That's the word. Freaky. So, could you maybe not mention that part? I'd rather not have people staring at me like I'm a freak."
"I hear ya." Ben shifted the child to his other arm and kept walking. His voice went low. "Been there, done that, makes you feel like shit." He didn't glance over at River. He looked straight ahead, but he wasn't watching where he was going, either. "It's why I went rogue."
"No shit?"
"No shit."
Ben was tall, broad shouldered and strong. He had the kind of face and body that drew females like bees to honey. He could be an ass, but he talked like a smart one. He was the poster child for wolvers everywhere.
"Okay, I gotta ask. What's the freak, 'cause I ain't seeing it."
"I can't read," the big wolver muttered.
"You left your pack because you can't read?" Leaving a pack for something so trivial was a lot freakier than can't read.
"No. I left the pack because I was made Second. Then the Alpha took it away when he found out I couldn't read. He told the pack why he took it away. Big Ben, the dummy. You go from being someone important to being shit. I couldn't take it, got in some trouble. That made it worse, so I left, went rogue."
"You can't be dumb," River reasoned. "You repeated what Dennis said word for word. You sounded like you knew what the big words meant, too."
"I do. I only have to hear a definition once, or I learn what a word means by the words around it. I don't remember everything I hear, but if it's important, I listen and I can repeat it back word for word. Put it on a piece of paper, though, and it's just a jumble of stuff that doesn't make sense." Ben shook his head sadly. "You wouldn't understand."
Reb had said that, too.
"I didn't learn to read until I was around fifteen and I never did learn to do it really well. I get by," River admitted. "You know those talks the Alpha and I have every afternoon?" He'd seen Ben's glare as he entered the RV, so he spread his hands to protest his innocence. "His idea, not mine. He lectures, I listen. I learn some, but half the time I don't understand the words he uses. I feel like I need a dictionary, except I can't spell good enough to use one."
"You can always ask me." Ben's offer was quietly spoken without the usual chest puffing.
"I guess I could." River's head came up and he sniffed the air. "Here they come."
Ben grinned. "And we've got something to make them smile."
~*~
River's eyes narrowed as he watched Ben swagger in front of a group of younger wolvers. They were looking up at him in wide-eyed wonder, laughing when he laughed, and inching to the edge of the benches they were sitting on when he leaned in toward them. It was a wonder the bullshit didn't come pouring out his eyes, the guy was so full of it. By his gestures, he was entertaining them yet again with the story of the cub's rescue.
Rounding the circle of spectators, River silently accepted their touches and words of thanks. The gestures made him uncomfortable. Crow was the hero here, not River. It was the long dead cub's death that inspired River to learn how to swim, and River's reasons were selfish. He'd hoped the skill would banish Crow's ghost from his dreams.
He took a seat next to Scar, but continued to stare at the big blond who now had the attention of a group of females. They were watching his show and making giggling comments to each other behind their hands. They were probably speculating about how much of his size and strength would be found hanging between his legs. Big Ben was in for a good time.
Reb was among the gossips and gigglers. River watched while she gave the big blond an adoring smile. He frowned, and all friendly thoughts for the handsome wolver vanished.
"Can't they see what an ass he is?" he muttered.
"I don't think they're concerned about asses. Not the kind you're talking about anyway." Scar lit another cigarette from the stub of the one he took from his mouth. He carefully ground the remainder into the dirt with the toe of his boot before picking up the paper remains and depositing them in his shirt pocket.
"I can't decide if I should kill him or keep him," River grumbled.
Scar blew out a cloud of smoke with his snort. "If you're going to kill someone for flirting with females, you're going to have to kill every damn wolver you come across. The only thing you need to worry about is whether or not your woman says yes to the offer."
"She's not my woman."
"Then how the hell did you know who I was talking about?"
Scar continued to watch Ben, but his smile disappeared. "That wolver hurts the same as the rest of us. Being big and good looking doesn't change that."
"I know. He told me about it this afternoon," River admitted, reluctantly torn between jealousy and guilt. "You sound like the Alpha. Roland says we all have scars, but it's the ones we can't see that hurt the most."
"Roland's a wise man and a good Alpha."
"Do you think so?" River was beginning to wonder. "He asks for daily reports, but half the time I don't think he cares. Getting a decision out of him is like pulling teeth. He makes me go over the pros and cons of every little thing, like it makes a difference. He's the Alpha. It's his decision, and when he finally makes one, I have to sit and listen to why he made it. Then he goes off into lectures on what he calls the nature of the beast."
"And do you?"
"Do I what?"
"Listen."
"Well, yeah, he's the Alpha. I don't have a choice."
"Sure you do. You can look like you're listening or you can really listen." When River didn't immediately answer, Scar nudged him with his knee. "Well? Which is it?"
"I listen," he said reluctantly. "I don't want to, but I end up listening anyway. The way he thinks is kind of interesting, but a little scary, too." He shrugged. "Like assigning cabins." River paused, thinking of how to explain without saying too much.
Because the buildings were in such bad shape, the pack was living communally in the largest, once used as a lodge.
Cabins, formerly used for rental, were being repaired one at a time. Each had two bedrooms, one to the left and one to the right, off a central living area. The bedrooms were to be assigned to mated pairs first, in respect for their need for privacy and the re-establishment of independent family units. There weren't that many pairs or families.
River would have put them on a list and checked them off in alphabetical order, or maybe thrown the names in a hat. Roland talked about how each couple would get along with another. That was okay, but then the Alpha started in on couple's personal needs, some of which he probably learned from the Mate.
"He told me stuff he probably shouldn't, about how that played into his decision. Private shit," River finally confided to the older wolver. "Really private shit," he emphasized. "Like shit you really don't want to know or hear."
It was something that had been bothering him, but there wasn't anyone he could discuss it with. He couldn't say what he was thinking to Reb or the Mate. Scar, he knew, would at least keep his mouth shut and not pass it on. River lowered his voice to a whisper.
"Sometimes I think maybe he's losing it, like maybe the snake poison did something to his brain. He shouldn't be telling that stuff to anybody, but especially to me, a nobody."
Instead of taking his confidence seriously, Scar laughed. "A nobody who's sleeping with his daughter."
"That doesn't mean shit and he knows it. There's nothing between Reb and me but an occasional laugh and a good time."
Scar kept laughing. "You just keep telling yourself that."
"It's true, Scar. I'm just passing through, helping out until things are settled and the pack is prepared for the winter. I'll be gone before the first snow. She's just passing the time with me until the right wolver comes along. We both know it. Fate meant her to be an Alpha's Mate."
"Fate meant you to be a rogue. Seems to me that shoe doesn't fit." Scar lifted himself from the chair, leaning heavily on the arms. "I was meant to be a barber. Turned out that shoe didn't fit, either," he winked, "except for
being good with a straight razor." He spread his arms. "Fate only decides where we start out. The choices we make decide where we end up. You might keep that in mind."
"What choice did you make, Scar?" River asked quietly.
"I chose to kill a wolver much like Gordon, because our Alpha wasn't like Roland. He favored his relatives. I don't regret it. I don't regret what I've had to do since, either."
He raised his chin to the two couples standing with Toby and Quentin. Two others cubs, a male and female, stood with them. The two older males raised their chins in return. The women smiled.
"My only regrets are standing right there and what I've done since, I've done for them. Their only crime was standing up for the truth. They chose to come with me, and I've spent fifteen years trying to make that up to them. Then Dennis came along and did it for me, but..." The look he gave River was filled with meaning. "We chose to follow. Maybe Fate put Dennis in our path. I can't say one way or another, but they made the choice to follow. They chose a chance to start fresh with Sweet Valley pack, and I chose to come with them. You might keep that in mind, too." He followed this with a wink and a lopsided grin. "Now you'll have to excuse me. While all those sweet young things are admiring Ben's ass, I've got a woman waiting who likes my ass just fine."
River snapped his head around to follow the wolver's grin. "Your woman? Darla?"
"Hey, I've always admired a woman who could handle an ax." Scar gave the subject of his admiration a chin lift. "She has other talents I admire, too."
Chapter 26
With two days left to go before the full moon, River thought he was going crazy. Shifting to save the cub must have broken something inside him, something that was supposed to remain sealed. The moon's power had been calling to him all day. It wasn't normal. It set his teeth on edge. He couldn't rest. If he wasn't working, he paced. He cut more trees, trimmed the branches from them, and hauled them in. He hauled stone from the creek bed. He checked his snares and set new ones. He recruited Toby and Quentin to help.
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