Best Lesbian Romance of the Year

by Radclyffe

  I rubbed our noses together, slid my hand from between her legs to pinch her thigh, and then gathered her closer to me. “Love you too.” A squeeze. “Let’s get you home.”

  The car ride, this time, was so much shorter.

  DANCE FEVER

  Kara A. McLeod

  I glanced at my watch for the third time in fifteen minutes and frowned. The party was still going strong and showed no signs of flagging.

  I sighed and considered my options. True, I was having a blast. Ever since I’d transferred squads, my former partner Rico and I didn’t see much of one another, and I welcomed any opportunity to spend time with him. That his wife Paige was here as well was just frosting on the cake.

  However, it was late, and I’d imbibed all the alcohol I was inclined to drink for one evening and switched to a steady stream of water some time ago. Plus I had an early appointment in the morning, which would be the beginning of a very long day for me. Perhaps it was time for me to pack it in.

  “You keep looking at your watch,” Rico said. “You got a hot date or something?”

  I smiled ruefully. “Yup. Early start tomorrow.”

  Rico made a face. “Ugh. That sucks.”

  “Tell me about it.”

  “So you’ve got to get going?”

  “’Fraid so.”

  Rico looked sorry to hear that, but didn’t argue.

  “Wait, you can’t go,” Paige interjected.

  “Sorry, sweetie. I have an early day tomorrow. I need to get some sleep.” I failed to mention that sleep had been largely elusive to me recently and that chances were the trend would continue. It seemed counterproductive.

  “But…” Paige’s brow wrinkled, and she was obviously struggling to come up with a reason why I should stay.

  I continued to watch her in expectation, and Rico and I exchanged amused glances.

  “You and Rico have to dance first,” Paige proclaimed matter-of-factly.

  I blinked. “What?”

  Paige nodded, the sage expression on her face contrasting with the dazed look in her eyes. “Yup. You guys gotta dance. I picked a song and everything. I’ve been waiting.”

  “Paige, honey,” Rico said patiently, clearly trying not to laugh. “This isn’t really a dancing kind of a place.”

  Paige shrugged, completely unconcerned. “So? I wanna see you guys dance.” Paige’s gaze fell on someone standing just behind me. “Tell ’em.” She put her hands on her hips and glared from the newcomer to Rico to me and back again.

  I glanced over my shoulder and smirked when I realized the person Paige was ordering around was Allison, who’d just wandered into this conversation and was completely clueless as to what Paige was demanding that she tell us.

  Allison looked to me for help, but I just shrugged. I was too busy battling the conflicting feelings I was having concerning her—freed from their confines by the copious amounts of alcohol I’d consumed, no doubt—to take much interest in the discussion.

  “You should see these two dance,” Paige told Allison, apparently tired of waiting for a response from any of us. “It is so fucking hot!”

  Allison raised her eyebrows at me, a small, almost indulgent smile stealing over her oh-so-kissable lips. Her expression was nothing short of intrigued, and I felt a blush rising unbidden to my cheeks.

  When Rico and I had been paired up together for an undercover op involving a dance club, I’d learned that as the youngest of five children with four older sisters, Rico had been enlisted as a practice dance partner from the time he could walk, and he had subsequently gained some serious moves. I’d taken my fair share of dance lessons as a kid, too, and had explored many different styles. The result of our inadvertent pairing for that assignment had been a lot of interesting dance combinations.

  Rico and I quickly discovered we moved well together. We became something of a club favorite with the patrons and bartenders and eventually garnered the attention of the club’s owner. The relationship we’d built with him and some of his employees led to them trusting us enough to let slip little details concerning the non-club-related activities that were occurring on the premises. Together with the information we’d gathered during independent investigation as well as tips from another confidential informant, we’d had all the probable cause we needed to get search warrants for the club and the owner’s residences. After that, it was a done deal.

  Rico and I hadn’t had much of an opportunity to do a lot of dancing since the operation ended. On the rare occasion we did go out together, the music generally wasn’t anything that would lend itself to what I would classify as actual dancing, and the atmosphere was always less than ideal. Most of our after-work outings were held at some version of an Irish pub, and who really felt comfortable doing anything remotely resembling a merengue in a place where people habitually did shots and flung darts around?

  “You dance?” Allison murmured, sounding amused.

  I studied her for a moment, trying to determine whether she was teasing or not. “A little.”

  “There’s this song,” Paige slurred. Clearly none of us needed to be present for this conversation. She seemed hell-bent on driving it whether we actively participated or not. “It’s kind of old, but it was on the radio the other day, and the second I heard it, I thought, ‘Rico and Ryan would look smokin’ if they danced to that.’” She blinked at us expectantly.

  “I’m not really dressed for dancing, Paige.”

  Paige’s bleary eyes looked me up and down. “You look great.”

  I lifted one foot and hitched up the leg of my jeans a little. “I’ll probably break an ankle in these.”

  “Ooh, those are cute! Where did you get them?” Paige frowned. “Wait, what did you wear on your sting?”

  I tried not to smile. “I had lower heels for that. And it wasn’t a sting. I’ll tell you what. I’ll hang out for another half hour, okay? If the song comes on, let us know. Maybe we’ll dance to it.”

  Paige nodded happily and stumbled into Rico. She ran her hands over his chest and then threaded them behind his neck. She tilted her face up to his, wordlessly asking for a kiss. Rico’s eyes danced as he eagerly complied.

  Smiling wistfully, I turned to give them a moment of relative privacy and ended up face-to-face with Allison, which made my heart thud wildly out of control. I felt awkward standing next to her while Rico and Paige were putting on a genuine display of adoration, and was definitely at a loss as to what to say. For lack of any better ideas, I shoved my hands into my pockets and looked toward the bar.

  My head swam and my ears rang as a feeling of déjà vu threatened to overwhelm me. I’d never been particularly suave in this type of situation, and I sure as hell didn’t know how to act now.

  Once upon a time, Allison and I had been a normal, happy couple. Well, sort of. But for reasons I was never able to get her to confess, she’d wanted to keep our relationship a closely guarded secret. I’d spent a lot of nights just like this one, standing next to her while feeling as though we were emotionally miles apart. And that was on good nights. More often than not, we spent the evening on opposite sides of a room, each pretending the other didn’t exist, though I was always acutely aware of her presence the way you can always tell where the sun is even without looking directly at it.

  At first, it hadn’t bothered me. I didn’t want everyone in the entire agency to know my business either. We all spend so much time together, after a while familiarity takes its toll and conversation degenerates into gossip. And when it comes to gossip, we’re often worse than adolescents.

  Unfortunately, as time wore on, I became less able to hide my feelings for her, to say nothing of actually being inclined to do it. I could understand her desire to avoid PDA when we were out with the work crowd, but to get pissed because I touched her lightly on the arm? Smiled at her? Tried to have a conversation with her? That, I couldn’t understand. Her aversion to almost any amount of interaction with me in public did more than just anger me. It
fucking hurt.

  The fine line she’d expected me to walk had been extreme, too. If I didn’t pay any attention to her at all, she accused me of ignoring her and got upset. I couldn’t win.

  Ultimately, the entire situation became too much. For both of us. I was on edge all the time, worried that I was going to inadvertently make her mad. But underneath all that, so much more was tearing me apart. I was sad that we couldn’t just be happy together. I was devastated that she seemed ashamed of us—ashamed of me. I was angry with myself for not being able to just accept her wishes, feeling as if I was pushing her to overreact. And I was pissed off at her for putting me in that situation to begin with.

  In the end, we just fell apart. I think there was too much between us by that point. Too much fighting, too much resentment, too much pain. I couldn’t see any way to fix it, and Allison clearly hadn’t wanted to. She’d shattered me and never once looked back.

  So here we were again, in a setting so disconcertingly familiar that I was startled to feel pangs of the old anxiety tying my stomach in knots. I hadn’t known what to do years ago. What made me think I would have a better clue now?

  Allison took the decision of what to do next out of my hands by resting one of hers on my forearm. The sparks her touch inflamed in me lit a path straight to all the most sensitive points of my body, and I stifled a gasp. Confused both by her actually touching me in public as well as by my own reaction, I looked into her eyes, hoping for answers.

  “Relax,” Allison said softly. She squeezed my arm gently before letting go.

  My thoughts reeled. I hadn’t meant for her to see my unease. “You’re doing it again.”

  “Doing what?”

  “That mind-reading thing. I told you before, it’s creepy.”

  Allison chuckled. “Well, you’re not that hard to read.”

  I sighed, mildly irritated. “For everyone?”

  Allison shook her head. “I don’t think so. Just for the select few who are fortunate enough to know you well.”

  “Oh. And you think you know me well, do you?” My tone was teasing, and I cocked my head to one side as I waited for her retort.

  “Well enough to know what you’re thinking about right now.”

  “Oh, yeah? And what’s that?”

  “Do I really have to say it?”

  I scoffed. “You can’t because you don’t know.”

  Allison leaned in so that her lips were pressed right up against my ear, making me shiver. “You were thinking about kissing me.”

  My jaw dropped. That was the first time she’d acknowledged my attraction to her out loud since before we’d split up. I absolutely had not expected that. It also hadn’t been remotely close to what I had been thinking.

  “I was not!” My protest was vehement and a little shrill as I tried to come up with a way to convince her that she was wrong. My face was on fire.

  Allison’s lips quirked, and her eyes sparkled. “You are now, though, aren’t you?” She blew me a playful kiss and sauntered triumphantly over to the bar, putting a little extra sway in her hips as she walked.

  Game. Set. Match.

  Once I’d finally recovered from the shock of her statement, which had clearly been some sort of trap, I smiled to myself. Ooh, she was so bad. She was also right, damn it all. Now that she’d brought it up, I was thinking about kissing her. I was also thinking about a host of other things, all of them involving my lips and her body in varying stages of undress.

  Okay, I was still incredibly attracted to her. That was a given. I might not have wanted it to be, but facts were facts, and I really needed to face them. With one offhanded quip, she could still light a fire in me that threatened to rage unchecked until I was reduced to embers.

  I’d been fighting that realization for days now, since Allison had arrived in New York. Despite the few fleeting looks and brief touches, I’d been convinced that she held no feelings for me beyond us being coworkers and former lovers. Dwelling on something that wasn’t ever going to come to pass had seemed pointless.

  Now, however, I wasn’t so sure. Most people, as far as I knew, didn’t say things like that to people they weren’t drawn to. Well, not unless they got off on making people want them for mere sport. Which I knew Allison didn’t. So part of her must still desire me. My heart stuttered at the thought, and I looked at her with new eyes as she headed back my way with another round.

  Granted, the timing could have been better. Besides, wanting to go to bed and wanting to rekindle a romance were two different longings entirely. One didn’t necessarily lead to the other.

  How would I feel about that? If we were to fall into bed tonight—not that I was necessarily expecting us to but just hypothesizing that if we did—could I be content with just sex? Would I be able to handle making love to her only to have her walk unceremoniously back out of my life? I didn’t think so. No, I knew that would shatter me all over again.

  “Thinking about kissing me isn’t supposed to make you all broody,” Allison teased, handing me another water.

  I shook my head, accepted the offered drink, and took a long swallow while glancing around instinctively to see whether anyone was close enough to overhear us. It wasn’t like her to be so open with these types of discussions in public. Not when there were coworkers lurking around. “It’s not that.”

  She took a sip of her gin and tonic. “What’s got you so tied up in knots, then?”

  I studied her for a moment, attempting to decipher the meaning behind her actions and each of the words she’d uttered from her first appearance in my office all the way up to now in a split second. It didn’t work. I was still completely clueless. I didn’t at all enjoy the feeling, but I accepted that for tonight at least, I was through thinking.

  “I’d gotten past thinking about kissing and had moved on to contemplating other things. I was brooding because I was wondering whether it was a good idea. To be thinking about those other things.”

  “What other things?” Allison’s tone had an air of forced innocence to it that belied the hint of passion swirling behind her gaze.

  “You’re a smart girl. I think you can figure that out on your own.”

  When she didn’t reply, I fixed her with a long look, allowing her to see the desire I knew was in my eyes. If she was going to get pissed at me for it, so be it. She’d started this little game with her cheeky comment. She could damn well deal with my response. And if anger was to be hers, there wasn’t anything I could do about it. Besides, she was going back to D.C. tomorrow. Surely I could withstand whatever ire she could throw my way in the next half hour or so without suffering too much damage. What more did I have to lose at this point?

  Anger, however, was not what I saw on her face. Lust-tinged surprise would be a closer description. Her eyes widened just a little, and she inhaled sharply. She swallowed, and the tip of her tongue darted out to swipe across her bottom lip. The hand that came up to brush her hair back off her forehead was trembling.

  “Any more silly questions?”

  Mutely, Allison shook her head.

  I smiled and took another sip of water to distract myself. I forced my mind to concentrate on the cool wash of the liquid as it hit my tongue and slid down my suddenly dry throat. God, I wanted to touch her. Nothing too intimate or dirty. Something small. Just a brief meeting of hands or a swift brush of fingers against the bare skin of her shoulder. I wanted it so badly that I ached. But I wasn’t sure whether she’d welcome that. I didn’t want to up the ante too soon.

  “You need to stop looking at me like that,” she warned, her voice a throaty rumble.

  “Why’s that?”

  Inwardly, I cringed, worried I’d already gone too far. Silence reigned for so long that I was positive she wasn’t going to answer, and I’d be left with nothing but the din of my wildly thudding heart for company.

  Allison took another sip of her drink, drawing out my torture. “Do you remember the first day we met?”

  Did I reme
mber? Idly, I wondered which part she was referring to. The tension that had immediately built between us when we’d made eye contact for the first time? The sparks that had been the result of the first brush of her fingers against mine? The way we hadn’t been able to refrain from touching one another, even innocently? Perhaps she meant the way my pulse raced each time I’d gotten so much as a glimpse of her magnificent smile. Or maybe she was talking about the way everything in my world had suddenly made perfect sense the instant our lips had touched. Truthfully, there wasn’t a single second of my time with her that day that I didn’t remember.

  “Vividly.”

  Her gaze captured mine and held for a long moment. The longing teeming in her eyes made me forget how to breathe for a second. I swallowed hard and took another gulp of water in a vain attempt to dispel the dryness in the back of my throat.

  “The stools over by that pool table look to be about the same height as the benches at the range, don’t you think?”

  I flicked a glance at the furniture in question, and my mind whirled with clear memories of our first trip to the shooting range overlaid by images of me treating her to a repeat performance in the middle of the bar for all the world to see. My already racing pulse picked up speed, and I closed my eyes as a stab of pure need shot through me.

  Allison’s lips brushed against my ear again, and I felt that touch acutely all over my entire body. “That’s why you need to stop looking at me like that. If you don’t, I can’t be held responsible for what I’ll beg you to do to me.”

  Her lips gently caressing my sensitive skin silenced the cacophony of memories rolling around inside my head and yanked me headlong back into the present. “Not up for a live sex show. Duly noted.”

  Allison grinned at me. “Not just yet. But I do remember someone promising me a plaid skirt once upon a time.”

  I laughed. “I’ll see what I can do.”

  “This is it! This is it!” Paige’s excited squeals shattered the intimate moment, and she almost knocked me down with an overly enthusiastic lunge in my direction. She tugged insistently on my arm, and I was thankful it was not the arm holding the water. That would have been messy. And I was already wet enough in other places as it was.