by David Marcum
HOLMES: Yes?
HOLCAMP: It was not Frank Ellis! The body was in a burial shroud, but nothing could conceal what was immediately apparent. It was not a man’s body! It was the body of a woman! Quite unmistakably a woman!
HOLMES: Hmm! Most interesting! And was the ring missing?
HOLCAMP: The shroud had come apart, revealing the hands clasped across the breast. There was no ring. Whoever stole the body stole the ring as well.
WATSON: And no doubt pawned it immediately.
HOLMES: To whom did you report this?
HOLCAMP: I tried to report it to the local constable who came out to watch them dig. I sent one of the gravediggers to fetch him, but he came back alone and said the constable told him he had other duties.
WATSON: And Mrs. Ellis? Was she informed?
HOLCAMP: I sent word, but never received a reply.
WATSON: [INTERIOR] Holmes turned away and stood briefly at the side of the grave with his head bowed; not in prayer, but in deep thought. A minute passed, and then he turned back.
HOLMES: It is of paramount importance that I speak with Mrs. Ellis. Where does she live?
HOLCAMP: I’ve never been to her home, but I know her address. Number Five, Cambridge Lane, Empire Park. Do you want me to come with you?
HOLMES: That would be unwise until we know the circumstances.
MUSIC - URGENT MOTION MOTIF
WATSON: [INTERIOR] We took Miss Holcamp back to her home in Bethune Road, and then set off for the cluster of fine old residences that made up the neighbourhood of Empire Park. Number Five, Cambridge Lane was a house of Greco-Roman style, not overly large, but architecturally impressive. It took some time before an elderly woman came to the door.
SOUND EFFECT - SEGUE TO RURAL EXTERIOR
SOUND EFFECT - FRONT DOOR OPENS
MRS. PACKER: [EXTERIOR] What do you want?
HOLMES: [EXTERIOR] I am Sherlock Holmes, and this is Doctor Watson.
MRS. PACKER: What do you want?
HOLMES: We are investigating the death of Doctor Frank Ellis, and we came to speak with his mother.
MRS. PACKER: Mrs. Ellis is ill. I am her sister, and I can tell you anything she could tell you.
WATSON: Er, could we step inside, Miss...?
MRS. PACKER: Mrs. Packer. I’m the only one taking care of my sister and I’m busy morning to night, but yes, you may come in.
WATSON: We very much appreciate it, Mrs. Packer.
SOUND EFFECT - THEY WALK IN, DOOR CLOSES
MRS. ELLIS: (FAR OFF MICROPHONE) Who is it, Lucy?
MRS. PACKER: There! Your doorbell must have woken her. (YELLS) It’s two men asking for you!
HOLMES: (PROMPTING HER) Sherlock Holmes and Doctor-
MRS. PACKER: (YELLS) One of ‘em’s name is Sherlock Holmes, he says.
MRS. ELLIS: (A BIT CLOSER) I’ll be right out. Have them sit down, please, Lucy. (PAUSE, MOVING ON MICROPHONE) I am Mrs. Ellis.
WATSON: Forgive our intrusion, Madam; we-
MRS. ELLIS: Lucy, go and freshen my bedclothes, will you dear? And the flower are dying. Some yellow ones this time, I think. Daffodils, perhaps? Yes, Daffodils. Forgive me for wearing a robe, gentlemen. I’ve been rather ill.
(MRS. PACKER WALKS AWAY, MUMBLING AD LIB)
MRS. ELLIS: I know who you are, Mr. Holmes. And I presume you are Doctor Watson.
WATSON: Just so, madam.
HOLMES: We are most obliged, Mrs. Ellis, and we’ll be as brief as possible.
MRS. ELLIS: Won’t you sit down?
HOLMES: I trust we’ll be here not more than five minutes.
MRS. ELLIS: I began reading of your exploits when I was living in Australia, so I know a thing or two about you. Now, you want to know about... my son?
HOLMES: There is a report that he died of natural causes. Kindly tell us about that.
MRS. ELLIS: When we lived in Australia, my husband and I fell upon hard times. We had just the one child, but we had great difficulty in making ends meet. Then, one day, a medical college in Sydney ran a competition for young men just finishing high school. The winner would receive four years of medical training, free of charge.
WATSON: Ah, and Frank won the scholarship?
MRS. ELLIS: Not only the scholarship, but he graduated at the top of his class. He joined the Royal Medical Corps and was commissioned as a leftenant. But while serving in Africa, he contracted a strange disease that became known as “Breakbone Fever” because it causes horrible pain.
WATSON: “Breakbone Fever”! Yes; its true name is dengue [den-gee] fever. It thrives in hot climates! I saw a few cases in India when I was stationed there in the Medical Corps.
MRS. ELLIS: My husband died of it. I was able to scrape together enough money to return to England with Frank. He sailed through the British medical exams and went into private practice. He was very successful; so much so that he bought me this house. I think that brings you up to date.
HOLMES: Are you acquainted with one of his patients, a woman named Barbara Holcamp?
MRS. ELLIS: Oh yes, I heard her name frequently.
HOLMES: And were you aware that she had your son’s grave opened?
MRS. ELLIS: What? (CALLS WEAKLY) Lucy! (SHE FAINTS)
HOLMES: Grab her, Watson!
WATSON: My dear lady!
MRS. PACKER: (OFF) What is it? What happened? (ON) Oh dear Lord!
WATSON: Ease her down onto this divan!
MRS. PACKER: What have you done to her?
HOLMES: Nothing! She fainted.
WATSON: Mrs. Packer, do you have any smelling salts?
MRS. PACKER: I don’t know. If you’re a doctor, where’s your bag?
WATSON: I didn’t bring it. Now, please be quiet for a minute while I take her pulse. (PAUSE) Her pulse is weak and irregular. She should be hospitalized. Is there a telephone?
MRS. PACKER: Had it taken out, now that she doesn’t need it any longer!
MRS. ELLIS: (STIRS)
WATSON: She’s stirring. I’ll rub her wrists to start some circulation. Mrs. Packer, where is her medicine?
MRS. PACKER: In her room. I’ll go get it.
MRS. ELLIS: (WEAKLY) No... I’m all right. I’m all right.
WATSON: Please! Don’t try to rise up just yet, Mrs. Ellis!
MRS. PACKER: Do you want me to get a pillow, dear?
MRS. ELLIS: I don’t know. I’m so light-headed. Mr. Holmes: I thought I heard you say that Holcamp woman had the grave opened.
HOLMES: We can discuss such things another time.
MRS. ELLIS: No, I have to know!
HOLMES: We were told that you were too ill to be consulted, and so permission was granted to Miss Holcamp. Now it appears you knew nothing about it.
MRS. ELLIS: Nothing! I never would have permitted it! What was her purpose? Why did that woman want the grave opened? Was - was the body touched?
WATSON: The body was perfectly intact.
HOLMES: Or so we were told. Watson, do you think it would be safe to leave Mrs. Ellis now? We have some pressing matters to take care of...
WATSON: Who is your physician, Mrs. Ellis?
MRS. PACKER: I know him; he’s not far away. I’ll fetch him.
WATSON: Yes, I think that would be wise. And here is my card. I no longer practice but I would be only too glad to be of service.
HOLMES: Please don’t bother seeing us out. Good day to you both.
SOUND EFFECT - TWO MEN WALK TO DOOR, OPEN IT, STEP OUTSIDE
SOUND EFFECT - DOOR CLOSES
WATSON: [EXTERIOR] I feel like a fool, Holmes! Barbara Holcamp lied to us!
HOLMES: [EXTERIOR] And she’s not the only one; unless I’m greatly mistaken, this entire matter is founded on
lies. Come along, Watson; we have work to do!
MUSIC - SHORT STING
WATSON: And in a minute, I’ll tell you the conclusion of this strange case.
MUSIC - OUT
MUSIC - UNDERCURRENT
SOUND EFFECT - HANSOM IN LONDON STREET, HORSE TROTTING
HOLMES: [EXTERIOR] It was a capital blunder on my part to have taken the Holcamp woman at her word!
WATSON: [EXTERIOR] But it’s possible that she did send a letter about the exhumation, but Mrs. Ellis might not remember receiving it; or she might not have seen it at all, due to her illness.
HOLMES: And when she told us that Mrs. Ellis had no living relative! Now, I question whether she had anyone’s permission to dig up the coffin! Who was the “Inspector of Graves”? Who were the men with the picks and shovels? And why is the gravesite still raw dirt and not being resodded? Pull up here, driver; I want to send some telegrams. Watson, drive on back to Baker Street, consult the file for 1888, and look for any official title called “Inspector of Graves”!
MUSIC - UNDERCURRENT
WATSON: I did as Holmes asked, and after a careful search of not only the Revised Laws of 1888, but the previous laws and regulations concerning burials and exhumations, the title of “Inspector of Graves” did not appear.
SOUND EFFECT - ADD: HORSE TRAFFIC AND TICKING CLOCK
WATSON: It had grown dark and the street lamps were burning before Holmes returned.
SOUND EFFECT - DOOR OPENS, HOLMES ENTERS, DOOR CLOSES
MUSIC - OUT
HOLMES: Have you had anything to eat?
WATSON: No, I thought I’d wait for you. Have you eaten?
HOLMES: No, I’m famished! Get Mrs. Hudson to bring us a hearty supper, and I’ll tell you where I’ve been and what I’ve found. And while we’re waiting for our meal, we shall change into workingmen’s clothes and fortify ourselves against a cold night in a graveyard. Break out your electric torch, a bottle of brandy, and... oh yes; your revolver!
WATSON: Good grief! You’re not proposing that we dig up that coffin!
HOLMES: Of course not. I’ve hired two strong men to do it for us.
WATSON: And why the revolver?
HOLMES: As a precaution, should we be interrupted.
WATSON: I don’t know, Holmes. How will exhuming the body once more be helpful?
HOLMES: Go tell Mrs. Hudson that we want a substantial supper as soon as she can bring it, and as we eat, I’ll explain.
MUSIC - SHORT BRIDGE
SOUND EFFECT - DURING SCENE: DINNER BEING EATEN
HOLMES: You will recall Barbara Holcamp mentioning a criminal called “Toby”
WATSON: Yes?
HOLMES: This afternoon, the Metropolitan Police were in a cooperative mood, and allowed me a look at the record of “Toby.” Toby Luster makes his living practicing fraud and blackmail, explaining the non-existent title “Inspector of Graves”. No doubt it was he who gave our client the idea of opening the grave. Operating on the premise that everyone has a secret or two to hide, Toby selected Doctor Frank Ellis as a target for blackmail. (Reach me the salt, will you, Watson?)
WATSON: Yes, here.
HOLMES: Thank you. It seems that Toby had discovered something damning about the good doctor, and he proceeded to demand payment to keep quiet, or he would inform all of Ellis’s patients and the medical board of the secret Ellis was hiding. This would have meant strict disciplinary sanctions, loss of patients, and perhaps most distressing for the doctor, it would probably result in the suicide of his loving patient, Barbara Holcamp.
WATSON: I’d like the salt now.
HOLMES: Take it.
WATSON: Thank you. Go on!
HOLMES: After we parted this afternoon, I returned to the Ellis home to have a talk with Mrs. Ellis’s sister, Lucy Packer, and with a bit of coaxing, she provided a fountain of information. First, she said she might have opened the letter to Mrs. Ellis from Miss Holcamp, requesting permission to open the grave, but she threw it away. Then Mrs. Packer told me Doctor Ellis had been living and keeping his office there in his mother’s house, so as to be nearby to minister to her. One night, Toby Luster came to see the doctor, complaining of illness. But once inside the surgery, there arose a clamour of shouting and cursing, and Mrs. Packer, a formidable figure as you’ll recall, armed herself with a kitchen knife and dashed into the room. She saw that the doctor had picked up a scalpel to defend himself. Before any blood was shed, Luster ran away.
WATSON: My word! What did he want?
HOLMES: Money, Watson. He came to blackmail Doctor Ellis. But the incident was not reported to the police.
WATSON: Why on earth not?
HOLMES: The answer, friend Watson, lies buried in Loburn Abbey Cemetery! Now, if you’re finished, let’s be on our way!
MUSIC - GRIM UNDERCURRENT
WATSON: Of all the hazards Holmes and I had faced, the illegal opening of a grave was one of the most risky. The two men he had paid to dig up the coffin worked silently and fast in the cold dark night, while I kept watch for one last member of the party to arrive. The coffin was just hoisted out of the ground when that fifth person appeared. Barbara Holcamp!
MUSIC - SEGUE TO NIGHT SOUNDS
HOLMES: [EXTERIOR] Ah, good evening, Miss Holcamp. So glad you could join us.
HOLCAMP: [EXTERIOR] What are those men doing?
HOLMES: Just what you had them doing a few days ago.
HOLCAMP: But why?
HOLMES: As a means of proving that we have done our work and solved the mystery of the missing man. Go ahead and open the coffin, gentlemen. Now Watson, I’ll need the light from your torch. Just shine it into the coffin as the lid comes up...
SOUND EFFECT - A SQUEAK WOULD BE NICE HERE
HOLMES: ...Very good. Now, Miss Holcamp?
HOLCAMP: You want me to...?
HOLMES: Yes. Please have a look inside the coffin.
HOLCAMP: (HESITANTLY) Very well...
HOLMES: (PAUSE) That should be sufficient. What did you see?
HOLCAMP: I saw exactly what I saw when I looked the first time! I don’t understand. Why have you put me through this revolting experience, gazing upon the decaying body of some woman? I thought you said you’d found Frank Ellis’s body!
HOLMES: I have. Or more accurately, I found that Frank Ellis doesn’t exist and never has! The body in this coffin is that of the woman who pretended to be Frank Ellis!
HOLCAMP: You must be insane! That isn’t true!
HOLMES: The record proves otherwise, Miss Holcamp. This afternoon I got the complete story from Mrs. Ellis’s sister. Her niece, Francine Ellis, could never have entered and won the Australian Medical College Scholarship as a woman. And so she became known as Frank Ellis. As Frank Ellis she was able to get a commission in the Army. As Frank Ellis she was able to pass the examination allowing her to practice medicine here in England. And as Frank Ellis, she became your doctor, and...
HOLCAMP: Stop! I don’t want to hear another word!
MUSIC - POIGNANT UNDERCURRENT
WATSON: [INTERIOR] Some time later, back at his rooms on Baker Street, Holmes leaned back in his chair and looked with great satisfaction on the shining object he held in his hand.
HOLMES: What do you think she’ll do with this when she gets it?
WATSON: She’ll probably wonder how you came to have it.
HOLMES: I was thinking of enclosing a note, telling her that Doctor Ellis must have told his mother to conceal the ring in the casket, but not on his finger, knowing the danger of grave robbers. But then that might convey the unsavoury image of Sherlock Holmes, the great detective, rummaging amongst the remains, when in fact I paid one of the gravediggers to look for it.
WATSON: (PAUSE) Just send her the ring, Holmes.
&
nbsp; MUSIC - DANSE MACABRE
NARRATOR: You have heard “The Inspector of Graves”, written and directed by Jim French. The Further Adventures of Sherlock Holmes features John Patrick Lowrie as Holmes and Lawrence Albert as Doctor Watson.
WATSON: And this is Doctor John H. Watson. I had many more adventures with Sherlock Holmes, and I’ll tell you another one... when next we meet!
The Adventure of the Parson’s Son
by Bob Byrne
I followed Sherlock Holmes along the edge of the field, clambering with no great grace over a wooden fence. “Hsst, Watson.” He had enjoined me to silence more than once during our midnight sojourn, in which we had crossed a railroad line, wandered through fields, and climbed more than one fence, all in moonless dark, with aid of neither lantern nor torch. I had fallen thrice and stumbled several more times across the uneven ground. My clothes were splattered and I had even momentarily lost a boot in a mud hole.
Holmes, of course, had strode silently, barely making a whisper, whereas I moved through brush as if a herd of moose had come to graze, and he often had to wait for me to catch up. This latest admonishment finished, we continued on. I estimated that our journey had taken approximately fifteen minutes when Holmes stopped and put a hand to my chest.
His mouth close to my ear, he whispered, barely audibly, “This is the field we seek. Not a sound.”
I nodded my head silently and moved over the fence as quietly as I could. Not earning a remonstrance from Holmes, it seems I did well enough this time.
I could just make out the silhouette of a horse in the field and the outlines of the buildings to the east. By prearrangement, I stayed where I was, knowing Holmes would indicate if I need join him. As he approached the horse, it nickered gently, shuffling its hooves uncertainly. I judged by Holmes’s movements that he was removing my gorget from his pocket while soothing the horse, though I could not hear his whisperings.
The near total silence of the night was shattered by the blast of a police whistle and the field was suddenly bathed in lantern light as several officers rushed in from all directions. “Halt, in the name of the law!”
The horse bolted while Holmes and I raised our arms in surrender, he dropping the gorget to the ground at his feet. One of the constabulary men stooped and picked it up, eyeing it critically. He sneered at Holmes and said, “Looks like we got another horse mutilator, boys.”