day one. Well, not exactly from day one, I was too grateful to her and Damian for their assistance in
my liberation at first. My problems with her began during my first months at the camp when Damian
was voted leader of the Saviors and she immediately assigned herself to the role of his confidant and
right hand.
Could it be that I have been jealous of her all this time? Jealous of her strength, her confidence,
her looks? But what does any of that matter in a world like ours?
Well, maybe all that is true, but it’s also true that she can be snobbish and bossy and that is a
fact that has absolutely nothing to do with me and my insecurities. Everyone knows how Daphne can
get.
It is late afternoon when Damian decides it’s time to return to the camp. We take off in pairs,
with Rabbit and Scout at the head, Damian and Daphne right behind them and Theo and Zoe in the
back. I walk next to Tilly and Finn walks alongside Biscuit several feet behind us. As an exercise,
we’re not supposed to talk and I can see that Tilly has a hard time with that. I imagine she has a
million things she wants to tell me but she has to wait until we reach the camp.
Then in an instant Tilly can’t control herself and whispers to me, “Guess who was having a
private conversation behind the bushes earlier.”
“What do you mean private?” I ask under my breath.
“You know, talking about things they don’t want anybody to know about.”
I lose my patience. “What’s that supposed to mean, Tilly? Aren’t we allowed to have secrets
now? Don’t go around eavesdropping on people, it’s not very polite.”
“Please, Freya, keep your voice down. I wasn’t eavesdropping. I heard a few sentences, by
accident, ok? I left as soon as I realized what was going on.”
“Why are you telling me then?”
“Because it was Finn,” she starts but never gets a chance to finish. Damian orders us to get
down immediately. Everyone drops to the ground forming a circle like we have been trained to do.
Rabbit jumps in the middle of the circle. “Big trouble,” he starts. “The camp has been raided.”
“Details, Rabbit,” Damian commands.
“I hid on the overlook and looked down at the camp. Somebody has been there, there’s no
question about it. The area around the supplies building is a total mess. Plants have been bent and
broken, tents pulled down.”
Damian orders us to get out of the path and hide in the trees. He and Rabbit will go and evaluate
the situation. Finn offers to go with them and so does Daphne.
“No, you stay put and take care of the group,” Damian answers and there’s no room for arguing
in his voice.
We sit in the bushes waiting for Damian and Rabbit to return. We are all stunned. Then Finn
does something unthinkable, something that I would have never been prepared for. He puts his arm
around Daphne and reassures her that everything will be alright, that Damian and Rabbit will be fine.
My mind goes back to what Tilly was saying right before Damian raised the alarm. Is it possible
that she overheard Finn talking to Daphne? What about? Since when are those two close?
I peek at Tilly out of the corner of my eye. She’s talking with Biscuit and she seems to be
terrified. My questioning will have to wait. I’ll probably change my mind anyway and never bring it
up. What do I care what Finn or anybody does or talks about?
The evening is on its way. That’s good I guess, it will be easier to hide. The breeze is getting
cooler and I close my eyes to concentrate on that feeling.
“How are you holding up?” Finn’s voice startles me and I just about jump out of my skin. He
takes hold of my hand.
“Hey, calm down, it’s me.”
He sits down next to me and I wish he’d put his arm around me the same way he did with
Daphne. Maybe the danger we’re facing will make things alright between us again. Maybe we’ll be
reminded of what’s truly important.
“What do you think is going on?” I ask just to say something. I know Finn doesn’t know anything
more than I do.
“I don’t know. Damian is careful. They will be back soon.”
Finn and his simple logic. Finn and his supporting system. Finn and his calm. Finn. I miss him.
“How long will we wait if they don’t come back?” I ask.
Finn looks away but I can picture his expression even when I can’t see him. I’ve always been
able to do that. I know that he doesn’t want to think about this now. I know that he yearns to be out
there with Damian and Rabbit, to share the danger with them and to be able to protect the rest of us.
Finn prefers an adrenaline rush to safety. It’s the one thing I’m worried might get him in trouble
some day.
“I won’t think like that,” he says after a pause.
Dusk invades the forest fast and the trees darken and grow taller. Shadows emerge on the ground
and the moon starts its slow ascent. The ground feels wet and unfriendly. We have all remained
mostly silent as the waiting stretched on into the evening.
“Are you still mad at me?” I ask. The surprise I see on his face surprises me even more.
“What are you talking about? I was never mad at you.”
“You could have fooled me.”
“Freya, don’t you know me at all? I was disappointed, not mad or angry or even upset. I felt you
needed a break from me. It seems you do the most stupid things when I’m around.”
The ground starts to feel warm and I reach over and pat his hair. “I don’t know what I’d do
without you.”
“I know you don’t!”
I shove him and slap his nose lightly. He’s about to reciprocate when Daphne cuts in.
“Keep it down, Freya. We don’t need the whole forest to know we’re here. Finn, can I talk to
you?”
He nods and gets up to sit with her now. I can’t hear a thing they’re saying because they take
turns to whisper into each other’s ear. I feel a bit nauseous and I have to take a few deep breaths to control my growing anxiety.
I should be happy that Finn and Daphne have put their differences behind them and can confide
in each other, shouldn’t I? We are a team after all and, as far as we know, the only free people left on Earth. I should follow Finn’s example and befriend Daphne. What is it that we really have to argue
about?
Well, for one, Finn. I don’t like the way she touches his arm when they talk. Not that he is mine
in that sense, but my blood boils anyway. I wonder if this was how normal teenage girls used to feel
when their beloved brother fell in love for the first time. When they lost interest in all the things they used to do together, playing some kind of sport, watching movies, talking about the books they read,
and started to live and breathe for their girlfriend instead.
Theo receives a message on his touchpad from Damian and he lets us know that he and Rabbit
are on their way back. I can finally concentrate on something else, something of real and tangible
importance.
When the two of them emerge from the shadows, Rabbit, tiny and flexible like a greased eel, and
Damian right behind him, tall and built like a rock, we all gather up and form our practiced circle.
“It’s bad,” Damian begins. “We didn’t see anyone. Whoever they were, they left the place hours
earlier.”
“This sounds good though, doesn’t it? Mayb
e it was just the wolves that messed up the place?”
Tilly asks with hope in her voice.
“Unfortunately not,” Damian replies. “Whoever it was, they took all our food and most of our
water when they left. Wolves would not have been able to do that.”
There’s a moment of absolute silence before we all start talking at the same time. The news is
overwhelming and everyone has to voice an opinion, a comment or a question.
Damian calls us back to order. “Listen,” he starts, “we can’t waste any more time. We can’t go
to the camp. We have to find a safe place to spend the night and we’ll have to re-evaluate the situation in the morning.”
Playtime is over, I think, time for some real growing up.
10
I can’t sleep. I took the first shift alongside Nya and Biscuit to guard the entrance to the cave. It
was a quiet two-hour period as Nya never uttered a word and Biscuit was too hungry to even think
straight. I should have fallen asleep when Scout, Theo and Zoe took over the shift, but my head is full of thoughts that cram and squeeze against my aching skull.
I’m embarrassed that during this crisis that could mean anything - from us turning into refugees,
to being killed, or captured and tortured - my main concern is what exactly is going on between
Daphne and Finn. I can’t imagine what has turned them into allies. It was only two weeks ago that
Finn and I made fun of Daphne’s snobbish manners and attitude.
It took us about one hour to reach this place. We owe it to Rabbit who remembered having seen
the big cave during one of his running expeditions. The cave is big enough to fit twenty or more
people and it is dry and cool. The ground is covered with moss and the walls are smooth except for a
few spots where an ancient dweller had been carving with a big knife.
We are safe here for the time being. It’s dark and silent. I imagine we are in a turtle shell or
inside of an egg. We can stay here for a long time if needed. Everything will be okay. That’s what we
keep saying.
*
WHEN DAWN ARRIVES, I open my eyes and immediately get a splitting headache. I’ve barely
slept and the little sleep I did get was plagued with nightmares of doom.
I hear whispers and turn towards their direction at the back of the cave. I can barely make out
the outlines of two bodies but I know they belong to Damian and Finn. I try to get up and notice a hand lying on my left thigh. I follow it up to the arm and shoulder and discover that it belongs to Tilly. She must have moved close to me sometime during the night. She looks so peaceful and innocent it almost
breaks my heart. I have come to care deeply for her, the way I would have cared for my baby sisters
if we had been allowed to stay together.
I gently push Tilly’s hand away and walk the short distance between me and the guys. They seem
to be in a heated argument and stop talking the moment they realize I’m next to them.
“Any news?” I ask.
The tension between them is obvious. Finn glances at me and says that Scout and Rabbit were
sent out to the camp a few moments ago.
I can see that Finn doesn’t like that one bit and I am about to ask him what his thoughts are on the
situation when I hear two piercing voices coming from the cave entrance. Surprisingly enough one of
the voices belongs to the ever silent Nya. The second one belongs to Zoe. The two of them have taken
on an extra shift and they are having an argument while on guard, something I have never seen before.
Damian rushes over to them. I prepare myself for the explosion of Red inside him. He takes hold
of the girls’ hands and, to my astonishment, speaks to them in a calm, quiet voice.
“You have to keep your cool,” he says. “We need our heads squarely on our shoulders, now
more than ever. Patience at these times is difficult, but we can’t let it get to us and ruin everything we’ve worked so hard to achieve. We’re in this together. There’s no one else.”
Zoe apologizes. She says that she doesn’t know what got into her, that Damian is right. Nya
agrees with a nod and the argument is resolved.
Daphne springs up next to Zoe and pats her on the back.
“It’s been a tough day,” she says. “I’ll take over, you and Nya can go get some rest.”
I think I’ve seen it all when Finn offers to keep watch with Daphne and she accepts with a smile.
Enough with the Finn and Daphne stuff. The whole world has gone crazy.
I take a look around the cave. Doc and Theo are working on their touchpads. Tilly has just
woken up and is talking with Biscuit. Zoe and Nya are trying to get some rest. Damian walks past
Finn and Daphne to step outside.
I decide to follow him out. “Is it okay if I take a short walk?” I ask.
“Why not?” he says. Then, he adds, “Wait. I think I’ll join you.”
His words sink in and I feel as if I’m having a dream or a nightmare. It depends on how you look
at it. Under any other circumstances I would have said that I needed to be by myself, but he’s been so odd today that I’m curious to see if I can get him to tell me what’s really going on.
The sky is clear and the forest is still cool. We walk quietly for a few minutes and then he asks
me if I am scared.
“Scared?” I say and then glance to him. “I haven’t been scared since the day I came into this
world or I’ve been scared the whole time. Not sure which.”
He stops walking and looks at me curiously. “You say the weirdest things sometimes, Freya.”
“Well, you should know. You’re pretty weird yourself lately.”
We continue walking. His hand reaches up to touch leaves and branches as we walk. I try not to
think it, but I do. Gentleness looks good on him. “I’m not weird, I’m scared,” he says. I can’t help but wonder if this is really Damian I’m talking to or if he is setting me up in some way.
“Did you just say you’re scared?” I ask in a whisper.
“You know that’s what I said. We’re getting so close to the end of this fairytale. It doesn’t feel
right that we would go through all this trouble, escaping, hiding, living like fugitives, building,
training and then one day, boom, it all vanishes and we’re back to plantation life waiting for our turn to slip into the unknown.”
“It’s not,” I start to say but can’t go on.
“It’s not what?” he eggs me on.
“It’s not like you to talk like this.” There, I said it.
“How would you know?”
“How would I know? Everyone knows.”
“Nobody knows anything, Freya. We pretend we know, but we’re like puppets really, thrown
onto the planet as an experiment. We’re empty shells filled with lost experiences and dreams of a
world we never knew. We act as if we know what we’re doing, but our plans may soon be spat out
like poison.”
“Wow,” I say to lighten the mood, “what have you been reading?”
Damian smiles but his heart isn’t in it. Now I really begin to feel scared. If he cracks under
pressure, if he loses his composure, the Saviors will be in far more serious trouble. Brutish or not, he keeps us together.
I grab him by the arm and force him to look at me. “Why are you telling me all this?”
“Because you understand what I’m feeling. I see it in your eyes, you can’t hide it. You think like
me no matter how much you try to convince yourself otherwise. You understand the hopelessness of
all this.”
We stare at each other for
a long while. The light on his touchpad starts flashing before I have a
chance to respond, which is good. His vulnerability was becoming intoxicating.
“Rabbit,” he says into the touchpad. “What’s up? Any clues yet?”
“Yeah,” Rabbit responds. “You have to see this for yourself. Bring everyone back to the camp.”
“Rabbit, I’m in no mood for games, just tell me what you’ve found.”
“No, it won’t be anywhere near as fun as if you all see it with your own eyes. Just come, it’s not
dangerous,” Rabbit says.
Damian exhales hard, spews out a few curses and takes off towards the cave. He has forgotten
all about me and our shared perspective. He is his usual self. As for me, I’m confused beyond words.
I don’t know if he was playing me. I don’t know whether I want to be his friend or slap him across the face.
I follow him unwillingly. I begin to feel glad that he’s started to act like a brute again. At least
something in this world has not changed. I will always know what’s beneath his rugged exterior
though. It will be a lot harder for him to act so almighty with me in the future.
11
We get to the hill where Rabbit and Scout are waiting for us. I am prepared to see something
totally unexpected because it is so unlike Rabbit to be secretive and, most of all, patient. Usually, his enthusiasm gets the better of him and he just blurts out everything in a split second.
I reach the top of the hill and look at the forest and the facilities. Complete shock overtakes me. I
cannot believe what I am seeing alongside the rest of the stunned Saviors. Tilly and Biscuit break our bewildered silence when they burst out laughing.
It is then that the feeling of relief sinks in and overtakes our fears.
The camp has been taken over by some big apes and as unlikely as that is, it is also the best
possible scenario at this moment.
Damian is the only one who seems to be more puzzled than joyful. “How is this possible?” he
asks.
That’s exactly my question too, but at the moment the answer doesn’t matter. We’ve never seen
apes before apart from in the animal books and the reason is simple. Apes are not from this part of the world. It’s not their natural habitat.
Doc steps to Damian. “I remember something said at the lab on Plantation-4 when I was a
[scifan] plantation - books one to three Page 7