“Of course you are, Damian. The aliens have messed with everyone’s DNA, not just yours.
We’re in this together, all of us.”
“It goes a lot deeper than that with me. I’m a freak.”
“Hey, I’m the freak! Alien bride and all,” I remind him.
“I’m a Sliman,” he says avoiding my eyes.
“I know. We all know. Zolkon told us. It doesn’t change anything. You’re still Damian, our
leader. You will always be. And you’re missing the point. Yes, the aliens might have mutated your
genes the same way they have with the Sliman before you, but did you come from planet Sliman? No.
You started out as a human child. You are no different than me. I have alien markers. Frankly, I don’t know what’s worse.”
“Freya, it’s in my blood,” he says. “And it’s not just about my physical self. It’s not about my
skills or my strength or my temper. It’s in my brain, the way I think, the way I dream. I’ve always had those strange thoughts that made me feel like I was going mad and I fought them, I fought them every
step, but they’re catching up with me finally. I’m tired of fighting them.”
“What did they do to you? Did they torture you?”
He shakes his head.
“They were very careful not to hurt me which was a surprise at first. They altered my genetic
material further, took things out, put things in, left only minimal parts of my human self. The ones that are absolutely needed for my survival. They showed me who I am and what I can do.” His eyes turn
brighter as he says this. A smile forms on his lips. “You have no idea what I can do.”
“And you have no idea what I can do. What does that prove?”
“I feel powerful and at peace with myself like never before. For the first time, I understand what
I am.”
“So you’d stay with the aliens and go to war against your friends to feel powerful and at
peace?” I slap his shoulders as I say this. He grabs my hands to stop me.
“I have no idea what I would do. I’m still learning who I am.”
He lets go of my hands and pushes me back slightly.
“You’re still human, you felt it in your heart when I told you about the baby. You decided
against all those things you described. The power and the peace and whatever.”
“I was curious more than anything. Is it even true?”
“The baby? Oh yeah, it’s true.”
“Do you think it will be a monster?”
“Shut up, Damian,” I say resigned. Of all the things I feared, this reality was not one of them.
Damian is here but he’s also gone. He’s physically intact but the core of who he is has been tragically altered.
“Does Finn know?” he asks.
“Yes and no. It’s a long story.”
“I don’t care actually,” he says.
“You need to figure out what you do care about,” I tell him. “The rest will follow. Human or
Sliman is secondary to what your heart feels.”
“I’ve already given up on what my heart feels.”
“Well, that’s really stupid,” I say.
He smiles slightly. “I’ve given up on you.”
My blood boils and starts pounding in my head.
“How many times did I tell you to stay away from me? I practically begged you to let me be. But
you had to make sure you’d creep into my life, make sure you’d get your way and now look at us.
We’re going to have a child and I have to do it all by myself.”
I pause to take a deep breath in. I’m suffocating and it would probably be a good idea to walk
out of this room right now. I take a glance at his stone face and can’t find anything in it that would give me a speck of hope. “So what?” I say bitterly. “You made me fall in love with you and now
you’re just going to walk away? This is torture for me, you know that?”
Nothing changes at all on his stone face. I hit it, his face, and then pound his chest as hard as I
can. He doesn’t even blink. He watches me with interest and pity as if I were an animal caught in a
trap he had set.
Finn walks through the door and races over to grab my hands.
“Freya, what the hell?” he says.
“This is hell,” I say blowing a strand of hair off my face. “Let’s go, Finn.”
Damian gets up and puts his hand on Finn’s shoulder.
“Finn,” he says, “I have to thank you for coming to my rescue and for taking care of Freya and
the baby for me.”
His words shock me because they are so like the old Damian. He still wants to taunt Finn, that
part hasn’t changed.
“Don’t listen to him,” I say to Finn. “He doesn’t care if I live or die.”
I drag Finn out of the room feeling about ready to explode again.
“Freya?” Finn says as we walk down the long hallway. “Did you lie to me again?”
“Huh?”
“You said there was no baby. How come he knows about it? How would he if you hadn’t told
him?”
I’ve managed to create a mess again. I never think straight. “I believed what I told you when I
said it. New evidence has surfaced since. I’ve been nauseous the last day or so. Believe me, I wish it weren’t true.”
Finn shakes his head. “You’re unbelievable. Your promises are such crap.”
“Just believe me, Finn. Your faith is all I have left.”
“What happened, Freya? Is that Damian in there or not?”
“I don’t know where to start. He’s different, he’s not himself. They performed genetic tests on
him, changed things. He says he doesn’t have to love me anymore like Sliman do. That’s been fixed.
And he doesn’t seem to care much about anything.”
Finn considers the new information. “Can he even be trusted?”
“Not now. In time. We just have to hope. But he can no longer lead. Not while he’s like this. It
should be you, Finn.”
We enter the dining area to find Joshua and Ella alongside Doc, Theo and Zoe. The electric
lamps that were turned on for the celebration of Damian’s return are off again and the cavern is lit by candlelight.
“How is Damian?” Zoe asks.
“Still not himself,” I say.
“He might never be,” Finn says.
Zoe turns to Doc. “Do you think it’s the result of trauma?”
“I have no idea. I’ll have to talk to him, get him to tell me what happened. I hope he’ll let me
examine him.”
“Who knows what he’s been through,” Theo says.
“Hey, guys, I don’t mean to spoil the party but I need to know what happened back there,”
Joshua says.
We all become awkward and wait for Finn to explain.
“Let’s call it even,” Finn says.
“What are we calling even?” Joshua asks.
Finn does not answer. Instead he grins and shrugs his shoulders.
Joshua and Ella look to each other and slowly they understand.
“You knew the whole time you were going to infiltrate the plantation. You lied to us,” Joshua
says disappointed.
“And you told us you wanted to save us when really you just wanted to question us about the
aliens,” Finn says. “I bet everyone up in the floating city must have been panicking about the buzz we were creating down here.”
Joshua fights against what appears to be anger. “We will accept that, but we hope that from this
point forward we can all be as one and operate in truth exclusively.”
“Sounds peachy,” Finn says with a new edge to him.
“Forgive me,” Ella says. “W
e all saw the blueprints. There is no possible way for two humans
to have done this thing, to have entered that place and returned.”
“Two regular humans? No,” I say. “Obviously, you haven’t seen Finn in action. A leopard does
not have his grace or instinct.”
Ella is intrigued by my words. She turns to Finn. “You’ll have to show me,” she says. “If half of
that is true, you must be a unique specimen.”
Finn goes red like a boiled beet. “Maybe I will,” he says. “Are we still invited on Exodus
L21?”
“Of course, our offer stands now and forever,” Ella says smiling.
That’s not a normal smile. She’s into Finn. What have I done?
“You’re more than welcome,” Joshua adds. “It’s spring in the gardens of Exodus. You will love
it this time of year.”
“Are we going? For real?” Theo asks.
“We’ll need to have a vote,” Finn says. “But life’s too short not to go on a few springtime
adventures.”
Ella stares at Finn like he’s dinner. “That’s so exciting,” she says. “You’re going to just adore it
up there. Nothing’s holding you back anymore.”
Is she for real? Is anyone else seeing this? Oh, Finn, you’re going to just adore my exciting
blah, blah, blah. There are plenty of things to hold us back. Thousands upon thousands of children enslaved in work camps and being experimented on for one. But I am too tired to make an argument
for that.
Nya joins us with Gritu right behind her.
“There’s no way you can get an explosive arrow to shoot through a net without exploding,” she
says. “The slightest obstacle will activate it.”
“No,” Gritu says, “you’re missing the point. If you shoot the arrow upwards, then, yes, it will
explode even if it hits a fly. But if you shoot it downwards…”
“How am I going to do that? Will I be standing on a hundred-foot pole?”
“You’d be flying in one of those pods,” Gritu says. “And you think you are so smart.”
We know better than to get between Nya and Gritu when they argue. Besides, nobody’s ever
really sure what exactly it is they’re arguing about.
This one must not be very important because Nya drops it when she catches Theo’s eyes on her.
She goes to him and kisses him on the cheek. She whispers in his ear and they excuse themselves.
They leave holding hands.
I turn to Zoe who shrugs her shoulders. She won’t fight the inevitable anymore. And neither
should I. Wisdom might not be a strength of mine, but I know when to stop banging my head against a
wall.
PART TWO
City Above The Clouds
8
When Dalya, the forty-year-old midwife on Exodus L21, hands the baby over to me, I don’t
know what to do with him. I’m afraid I will break him. I feel sorry for the little guy that he has me for a mother.
“He’s perfect,” Dalya says and two other nurses agree. “Just hold him and you’ll know what to
do,” she says when she notices my hesitation.
When I hold him in my arms, I feel something melting inside of me. Dalya was right. He’s so
small and perfect in every detail. His warmth, his scent, the way he moves little fingers and toes, his tiny cute nose, his amazing little lips.
He feels like something new to the world. He’s the morning sun, he’s a stream bubbling over
shiny rocks and he’s Biscuit’s biscuits. He’s everything in the world that makes people smile.
I think he is born from the ashes of a ruined civilization. He is my truth and my eternity. I look
for Pip in his features. I look for my mother and my lost brother. Now I know what love is and I will
never be the same.
A few hours later, I take him back to my room with me. Pip is so excited, I think she might burst.
It’s been a year already since she came back into my life and she’s a completely different girl. She
has thrived for the past eight months on Exodus L21. She studies every day, science, math and
literature, with other 13-year-olds and she has made new friends.
Everybody wants to meet the new baby. Especially my old friends. They wait patiently for their
turn to come and welcome him into their lives.
They come in pairs as my new room is really small – all rooms on the station are. It is also
extremely practical and neatly organized. Efficiency is a key word on Exodus L21. Everything has
been designed to utilize every possible space available. Cupboards under beds, shelves hanging from
the ceiling and foldable furniture are a must. Even the walls are as thin as paper but insulated enough to keep noises out. It took some time to get used to this world where everything is made out of metal, plastic and synthetic fabrics. It took even longer to get used to the idea of constantly floating in space and never seeing sunshine, but now I think that we’ve never been happier.
Pip’s room is next to mine but she’s been spending most of her time doting on me. Now with the
baby, I doubt she’ll ever leave.
“He can be your first pet,” I tell Pip while she coos and smiles for the baby.
Rabbit and Biscuit laugh at my joke but Pip is insulted.
“I’d never treat my little nephew as a pet,” she says. “Not that I know how to treat a pet.”
“Or a nephew,” Rabbit says.
Pip slaps his hand. “I know how to treat my own nephew, Rabbit.”
“When is he going to start eating real food?” Biscuit says.
“Another six months, I guess,” I say. “But only soft things.”
“Six months! That’s not fair to the little chubber,” Biscuit says.
“I don’t think the baby cares either way,” Pip says.
“Hey, do you want to hold him?” I ask Rabbit and Biscuit.
“Who?” Biscuit says.
“What do you mean who? The baby, of course,” Rabbit scolds him.
“Nah, I’m good. Thanks,” Biscuit says.
“What about you Rabbit?” I say.
Rabbit takes a defensive step backward. “Sure, just not today.”
They both run for the door and Pip shakes her head.
“Boys. Can you believe they’re afraid of a baby?” she says.
“I think they’re afraid of what I’d do to them if they dropped him,” I say and enjoy my little
sister’s big grin.
Pip uses a baby cloth to wipe the trickling saliva from the baby’s mouth.
“Okay,” she says, “the only Saviors that haven’t stopped by to see the baby yet are Nya, Finn
and Damian.”
“Yeah, I doubt Damian will be visiting any time soon. He has to process everything in his head first. It takes him forever to make the simplest decisions now.”
“I know,” Pip says with a sigh. “The other day, it took him about four hours to make up his mind
when Joshua asked him if he would like to help with the training of new fighters.”
“What did he decide?”
“He said yes in the end.”
“Good, he needs to stay occupied.”
It’s funny how meaningless my own words sound to me. The truth is I don’t know what’s good
for Damian. I know he’s not happy here. His curiosity over this child has all but vanished. Every day
he gets more distant, more lost in his own head. He’s been diligent, even systematic, about avoiding
me.
Finn and Nya show up right as I ask Pip to hold the baby for me.
“I’ll do it,” Finn says and takes him into his arms.
“Look at that,” Nya says smiling at Finn. “He’s a natural.”
We all marvel at the ease at which Finn and the baby get along. They are both such beautiful
beings. Finn has been a great hit with the girls of Exodus. The Finettes, that’s what we call his little group of admirers, have made me more nauseous than the pregnancy at times.
“I can’t wait to show him how to use explosive arrows and grenades,” Nya says as she steals
the baby away from Finn.
“Are you out of your mind?” I say. “Cover the baby’s ears.”
Nya leans over and kisses the baby’s rosy cheek.
“Oh, I’ll wait until he can walk,” Nya teases.
“Well, yeah, if he can walk he should know how to blow up buildings with an arrow,” I say
playing along.
“You’re not serious?” Pip asks and we all laugh.
“No, Pip. I’m not serious,” I say and reach out to touch my sister.
“Good,” she says.
Pip and Nya glance to each other awkwardly.
“Ah, I’ll be back later,” Nya says. “I left a mess in the training ring.” She hands the baby back to
Finn.
“Me too, now that Finn’s here,” Pip says. “I have some studying to do.”
“I don’t need a baby-sitter, Pip, not just yet. Go do your stuff.”
Nya winks at me as she leaves with Pip. I know they both want Finn and me to be more than just
friends, especially Pip. I don’t know if I will ever have the heart to tell her that it’s just not in the stars.
“How’s everything?” I ask Finn as he sets the baby back in my arms.
“Same old same. Work, training, some messing about. In a couple weeks, the commander will
move the station again. That’s about it.”
I nod. I have no idea what to say next. I wonder if his messing about involves any of the girls of
Exodus or maybe ancient Ella who’s like ten years older than us and still single.
“How are you feeling?” Finn says.
“As good as can be expected. I can’t wait for things to go back to normal. I’m not good at sitting
still for long.”
Finn sits on the edge of the bed. “Did you ever imagine there would come a day when we would
have real jobs?”
“Gosh, no,” I say laughing. “It’s weird but good.”
I work at the energy recycling lab and sometimes move things along a bit faster than I should
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