by James Kelman
Ye alright Sammy?
He knew the voice.
Ye alright? Eh? Alright?
It was Boab from next door; his voice was quiet.
Sammy folded his left arm so that his right elbow rested on the palm of his left hand, the stick still across his shoulder, he scratched at his jawbone with his right thumb. Is that you Boab? he said.
Aye. Ye okay?
Yeh; yeh nay bother. Sammy sniffed. How’s it going?
Fine, aye. Eh yer boy’s sitting ben the house; him and his pal. He’s up to see ye.
…
I’ll send him in will I?
Aye, said Sammy.
I’ll just get him.
Right.
Ye alright?
Aye, aye I was having a kip.
Aw.
It’s nay bother Boab; ta… Sammy waited, then closed ower the door but without shutting it. He propped the stick against the wall. He went into the kitchen. Milk. He poured himself half a cupful and swallowed it, then poured another lot and swallowed it as well.
A time for relaxing. Cold water. He ran the tap and splashed his face, dried himself, then filled the kettle and plugged it in. The cups and plates stacked on the counter; he should have cleared them into the cupboard. It didnay matter thought. It was alright. The tobacco, it was on the coffee table in the living room. He heard the front door and the footsteps, and he turned.
Hullo da!
Sammy chuckled. He shook his head, scratched his cheek.
Ye there?
Aye I’m here! In the kitchen! Shut the door after ye! He was grinning. He raised his left hand in a kind of wave.
Hullo da…
Aye how ye doing son how ye doing! Sammy now moved forwards, laughing, holding his hand out; him and Peter shook; he clapped him on the shoulder, patted his head, gripped both his arms: How ye doing! he said, How ye doing!
Okay da.
Ye alright?
Aye.
Great, it’s great to see ye, great; how ye doing? how’s yer maw?
Fine.
Aw that’s smashing that’s smashing.
Keith’s here as well.
Sammy was still gripping his son’s arms; he released him. Keith…aye; right. We’ve no met Keith eh? me and you?
Naw.
Well that’s us now then int it! I’m Peter’s auld man! Pleased to meet ye. Where are ye? give us yer hand! How’s it going, okay?
Aye…
Da were ye sleeping?
Aye. Aye I was actually, just a wee lie-down.
I chapped the door loud.
Well ye couldnay have chapped it loud enough!
I did.
Ach well aye, fair enough, ye probably did; I was out for the count. So: Sammy rubbed his hands the gether: yez want a cup of coffee? Tea or something – I’ve nay ginger…not a thing; nay coke, nothing.
I’ve brung the camera.
Aw. Aye. Aye; good. So what is it? coffee? Tea?
Naw da it’s alright.
Ye’ve got to have something.
It’s alright.
Nah, ye’ve got to have something son. What about yer pal?
…
Eh?
Well tea, said Peter.
Good; same for you Keith?
Yeh.
Just as well ye didnay ask for a beer cause I’ve nayn of them either!
He heard Peter’s pal chuckling. Probably just being polite, they were too auld for stupit patter. He had the teabags in the cups and he poured in the boiling water. Aw jesus christ. There’s nay bloody sugar, he said, can yez take it without?
…
Aye, said Keith.
Peter?
Aye.
Good – better for ye anyway! Okay now, okay; on we go, on we go. Sammy took them into the living room. He got the tobacco and sat down on the armchair. How long were yez waiting then?
Half an hour.
Och that’s no bad. Heh that was good thinking by the way, going to auld Boab’s house.
He came out.
He came out?
He heard us.
Christ he must have some ears! Sammy had licked the gummed edge of the paper; when he was smoking he said: So how’s yer mother son? she alright?
She’s fine da aye.
Yer grannie and granpa?
Aye they’re fine.
Good; that’s good. Yer maw still working away?
Aye.
Right, good. Sammy sniffed. Good… Well…so, did that guy Ally get in touch with ye then?
Ally?
About the camera I mean.
He didnay say his name. He just says he was yer pal.
Aye well aye, he is, that’s right.
Da are ye blind?
Naw! well aye I mean but it’s temporary, just temporary, it’ll clear up.
Aw…
How what did he say? The guy I mean, what did he say? Did he phone the house?
Aye.
So what did he say?
He didnay say nothing.
…
He said ye had an accident.
He didnay say I was blind?
Naw; it was the auld guy in the house telt us.
Aw right, aye. Well I mean fair enough, it’s what he sees, it’s what he sees. Sammy shrugged. So how’s school? still going? they’ve no threw ye out yet!
Naw.
Great! And when d’ye leave?
No till after my birthday.
So ye got it worked out? what ye’re doing?
Naw no yet.
Nothing ye fancy?
Naw. I might go on a training scheme. I was thinking about the navy.
Fuck the navy.
…
Fuck the navy.
Keith’s joining.
Aw, right; sorry. What I’m saying, it’s just…it’s fine. But ye’ve got to sign on for a long time, that’s what I mean; that’s how I wouldnay advise it Keith, no if ye’re a young boy. It’s up to you but I mean, if ye fancy it – eh Keith, what does yer maw and da say?
Well my da says it’s security.
Aye. Was he a sailor like?
Naw, my uncle.
Is he still in it?
Naw.
Ah well… It’s what ye want to do right enough that’s the thing I mean if ye want to go ahead then that’s it son it’s your decision; all I was saying was if it was me, but it isnay me, it’s you. Sammy shrugged. Then if ye change yer mind but that’s a problem, cause it’s too late; if they’ve got that uniform on ye, know what I’m talking about son? it’s too late; then, if ye’ve done it.
Naw but ye can buy yerself out Mister Samuels. My da says that’s the first thing ye do, know, ye save up yer money and have it ready, then if ye change yer mind…
Aye; aye that’s the way; I didnay know ye could still do that. Fair enough but if ye can.
Ye can.
Fine aye nay bother. So what about you Peter are you actually thinking about it?
Naw da see I went with Keith when they came to the career day.
Right.
They had all the stuff about it, a video and that, they had a stall, they were telling us what happened; then the career master as well.
Ye said ye were gony think about it, said Keith.
Aye; I’m gony.
So what about yer maw? said Sammy. What is she saying?
Aw eh, well…
Ye telt her yet?
Aye.
So what is she saying?
I telt her I would think about it.
Right.
…
Ye might decide later on, said Keith.
I might. I’m just gony think about it.
…
I might and I might no.
Sammy nodded. That’s the right way. Mind you, if ye do screw the nut, ye can save a few quid. Ye can. I know a guy that did; I think he was in for nine year – maybe twelve – then he came out and got married and that and it was fine; in fact I think he bought a wee shop or someth
ing, a newsagents. Unfortunately but a lot of guys just blow it; they’re in there to save dough but what happens, they wind up landing at some port and they blow the lot. I had a mate used to do that. Every time I saw him back on shoreleave he was skint. No kidding ye. He used to tap me. I’m working on a building site, working all sorts of hours: and he used to tap me! know what I’m saying? it was me had to take him for a few beers; no the other way about! Sammy chuckled. I didnay mind but cause he was a good guy. That was the days of the auld baggy trousers, if ye were a sailor, ye had to wear them. I dont know if they still do… Heh by the way I should have said, if yez’re hungry, there’s some toast and cheese there.
Naw da.
I could stick it on.
It’s alright.
What about yerself Keith?
Naw I’m no hungry either.
Sure?
Honest.
Well it’s nay bother…
I couldnay come earlier da I couldnay make it.
Doesnay matter. What time did he phone ye?
Half-eight.
Half-eight?
Just afore I went to school.
Did you answer yerself like?
Aye maw was away to work.
Right. She doesnay know?
Naw. Neither does grannie and granpa, I didnay tell them.
Ach well I mean it’s no that important. Sammy shrugged: It’s just eh I’m surprised he phoned ye, I thought he was gony ask somebody else I mean I wasnay sure if ye had a camera so eh – mind you I wish he had telt me first.
He said it was best I came in the morning or else after teatime the night. But I cannay make it the night, so I just came the now.
Aye well good Peter cause I’ll no be here the night, I’m gony go out. So ye’ve chose the right time. Ye’ve brought a camera too eh?
It’s Keith’s maw’s.
Right. Can ye work it okay Keith?
Aye.
Da how did it happen?
What?
Yer eyes?
Och it’s just temporary. Hard to explain… Sammy reached to find the tobacco.
How come?
Well it was a kind of accident, a stupit thing… Heh can ye see that tobacco?
He held his hand out until it was put there; he got a paper out and began rolling another smoke: Heh, he said, I hope yous two arenay smoking!
…
Eh?
I am, said Keith, he’s no.
Honest?
Naw.
I’ve got to say, ye know, if ye do, I’m the wrong guy to give ye a row. Know what I’m saying Peter, I’m the wrong guy.
I dont but.
He doesnay, said Keith.
No even the odd time?
Naw. I’ve tried it but; I cannay be bothered.
Great, that’s great.
Da see the photos?
Aye?
Will we take them?
Sure son fire ahead. What did he say about it?
Just you would tell us.
Right. Well it’s straightforward. What it is ye see it’s insurance. Did he no tell ye that even?
Naw he didnay say nothing except I was to bring it.
Well that’s what it’s for anyway, insurance, I thought he might have telt ye.
Da who is he?
Uch he’s a mate, a buddy, ye know.
He sounded funny.
Did he? In what way?
I thought he was a polis.
A polis! Sammy grinned. How what was he saying?
No much.
What like?
Eh…I dont know. He says did ye come and see me and that.
Did he? What else?
If ye saw my maw.
Right. What else?
Eh…
Try and mind.
…
Naw I mean if ye thought he sounded funny Peter, maybe he might have said something.
He didnay.
Ye sure?
Aye.
Naw I mean if ye thought he sounded like a polis! Sammy smiled.
Keith said, Ye telt me ye thought it was a polis.
Well I wasnay sure, said Peter, it was just his voice, that way they sound. Da what happened?
Och nothing.
He says ye would tell me.
Aye well aye, fair enough, it’s just it isnay that important son I mean being honest with ye; he’s a good guy Ally, it’s just he’s a worrier, he makes a bit of a fuss. See what happened Peter I took a tumble; I tripped and fell down some stairs. It was an accident. It was on that last job thing I done. So I’m gony maybe have a claim – that’s how we need the photos, it’s for the doctors for evidence, then the insurance people. See it was a step missing, well no missing, it was damaged. That’s how I tripped. It was a high building. Then with the scaffolding, when I took the tumble, I went down amongst it and the tubes battered my shoulders and that, my back. My head as well. It was bloody sore! Mind you I was lucky; it could have been worse, if the scaffolding hadnay been there at that exact bit; like a guy I know, an auld mate of mine, he took a tumble and got killed; five storeys up, a hotel it was we were building. Know what I mean, it’s just yer luck. Sammy shrugged.
How high up were ye Mister Samuels?
Uch no high son, no high at all; couple of storeys just. The fag had stopped burning a wee while ago; Sammy placed it on the ashtray: So it’s just my body like round my ribs and my back mainly, where the bruising is, if ye take a photo of that, so it shows up.
It picks things out, said Keith.
Is it got different settings?
Aye.
Can ye work it?
Aye.
Smashing. Sammy got the fag burning again, he sat back on the armchair, reached to swallow the last of the coffee. He heard somebody moving about near the window. Okay? he said.
Aye, said Keith, I’m just checking the light.
Good. Sammy sniffed. Heh Peter so how’s yer maw? is she still seeing that guy?
I’m no sure.
Ah well eh!
Da…
What?
What like was prison?
Prison? Bloody terrible.
I was saying to Keith how ye were in it.
Aye well it’s terrible, bloody terrible. Ye’re locked up in a wee cell twenty-three hours a day, sometimes twenty-four! Then they stick ye in with people ye dont like, crazy people, total bampots, ye cannay talk to them, ye get on each other’s nerves. Telling ye it’s bloody murder. Nay kidding ye, ye’re lucky ye dont die, see if ye want to die, go to prison. A lot of guys I know, they’re dead. Then there’s them that hate ye. They hate ye. Nay reason. So ye’re feart, ye’ve got to watch yer back all the time. It’s bloody murder. A nightmare. A total nightmare.
Is it all darkies?
Darkies?
Keith’s brother said it was.
Right; aye well…the thing is, ye shouldnay call people names; that’s the thing, ye have to watch that… Sammy sniffed. Know what I’m saying son it’s a thing to watch for.
…
It was my brother telt us, said Keith.
Sammy nodded: All I’m saying son if people dont want ye to call them a name, ye shouldnay call them it; just one of these things. Sammy shrugged.
Will we do the photos now?
Aye, fine, aye. Like I was telling yez, the guy that phoned, he’s helping me sort it out, my accident, the claim and that. He’s sharp, he knows the score. That’s how we’re getting the photos. Sammy was on his feet; he carried on talking: Trouble with the building game, ye’re aye bloody falling – me anyway; accident-prone; that’s my trouble, accident-prone! So… He took off the tee-shirt. Can ye take a couple Keith?
He telt me ye would want ten, said Peter.
Ten?
That’s what he says.
Ah well…
All the different angles, said Keith. I was just thinking of using up the spool. There’s about sixteen left.
Okay then just what ye think. Sammy held up his arms. Give us
the wire if ye want me to move about.
Naw you just stand still Mister Samuels.
Aye I’m just saying…
It’s cool da Keith knows.
Right. Sammy heard the shutter clicking. Aye it wasnay that bad a tumble, he said, it just maybe looks bad cause of the bruises, but that goes for nothing, bruises always makes it look worse. It’s just important cause of these insurance guys, they get their own doctors to check ye; and their doctors are different from your doctors so that’s how ye’ve got to get stuff like photos; it’s the same thing as evidence know like if ye’re giving evidence? It works the same way. The likes of this, all they can say is it’s somebody else, if ye’ve took a photo of somebody else, they might say that, it’s somebody else’s body! Or else right enough I suppose they can say ye gave yerself a doing, ye fell down yer own stairs or something, that it wasnay them done it, or if they admit it was them done it then they can say it wasnay that that caused it it was something else all the gether, there’s all the different ways they have. So that’s how the likes of that guy Ally, he’s up to their tricks. Ye need as much evidence as ye can get.
He stopped talking. Then he heard whispering. The shutter kept on clicking. What’s up? he said.
Just two to go now Mister Samuels.
Good, I’m getting cold!
That’s us now.
Sammy pulled on the tee-shirt.
Da is it okay if Keith smokes?
Aye nay bother.
Thanks Mister Samuels; ye want a fag?
Nah I’ll stick with the rollies son ta.
Here!
Naw it’s alright.
Are ye sure?
Sure, aye. Sammy sniffed. So what about the photos, do they come out right away?
Naw ye’ve got to get them developed.
There’s a chemist shop down the stair; just leave them and I’ll do it.
Peter said: The guy telt me I was to do it myself.