Bring me to life (The golden collection)

by Carr, Kam

  "Don't use that word".

  I couldn't even think of my relationship with Georgina like that. There was nothing cheap or dirty about Georgina Dawson. "Happy now?"

  Brett shook his head. "How can you be in a relationship knowing she's planning on being with someone else? It doesn't make any sense. It sounds too risky. Not really normal Maxwell Thomas behaviour and after Debbie?? Why would you put yourself in such a doomed position??"

  I took another sip of the beer. It didn't taste any better. "Because I can. Besides, why are you fishing around my sister?"

  "I am not fishing" Brett laughed.

  "Where's Libby?" I questioned. It was all right for him to give me the first degree but he wasn't exactly here for just a party. I watched his lips twitch. I knew he had some hidden agenda. I knew him too well. He raised an eyebrow and he didn't have to answer I now knew. "Welcome to my world!!" and I gave a wicked laugh.

  "Hey, what you talking about?" Amber asked as they approach us.

  Me and Brett turned to look at each other. "Football!!" we said in sync. Georgina gave me- I know different look. I loved it that our minds were linked to everything.

  "Right!" I smiled feeling a little better that my girl was back by my side. "Let's get this party started!!" Amber fired up her laptop and music boomed out of it. I laid back with Georgina and snuggled up in our original position.

  We had moved the party back to the house and it was in full swing. I was dancing with Amber while Georgina sat back and watched. She didn't drink anything and I was almost at my limit. God damn you Brett with your vodka shots. I stopped dancing and looked round the room. Georgina was gone.

  "Where's Georgina?" I asked Brett, he shrugged his shoulders and I went in search. She was in the bedroom on the phone. I stood by the door and listened.

  "I'm back tomorrow.... Everything is great... I'm having a great time . .. . Really? .... Blake!" she was on the phone to shit brick. I clenched my fist. I wanted to smash something like his face. "What? .... NO!!.... I will see you tomorrow." I walked into the room and she was sitting staring at her phone. She didn't look too pleased.

  I didn't even say anything.

  "He sounded odd!" She thought about it and shook her head. "What if he knows?" She began to cry and she placed her head in her hands.

  I stumbled and fell down next to her. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close. I hated seeing her cry it pulled at my heart strings. "What exactly did he say?"

  She looked up and wiped the tears away. "Asked if I was having a good time. Then he asked was it because he was at home and I was with you and he wants me home." She stopped.

  "That's odd, isn't it? It's not me being paranoid."

  I took a deep breath. The vodka had kicked in now. "Would it be such a bad thing if he did know?" I asked.

  Her eyes glared at me. I guessed so. If he did know it would make everything so much easier for everyone. We wouldn't have to hide. We could be together properly. He would no longer be in the way.

  Why didn't she see it that like?

  Then it hit me. She actually did love this shit head. Anger took over me.

  "I'm fed up with all this now!" I blurted out. I doubted I was in control and I hated feeling out of control. That's why I ran my own company; No one to boss me around and tell me what to do.

  "Fed up with what?" she huffed. "Last night you said you understood the situation? Now you decide that you have had enough?"

  I rubbed my thumb over my lip to help me thinking clearly. "Just tell him!" I insisted. "That will be the end of it and we can be together."

  She stood up and folded her arms. "Not everything is that easy."

  What was she on about not easy?

  It seemed pretty straight forward from where I was standing. What was she hiding?? I studied her. She had seemed odd all day.

  Was she missing him?

  It was her idea for to go away for the weekend and it was her who started all of this. I closed my eyes and remember the incident in my office.

  For fuck's sake what was I doing. This wasn't me! I am Maxwell Thomas. I didn't dwell on what others thought or cared about. I was number one!

  But you love her the voice in my head sang. True very true!

  "What we going to do?" I quietly muttered. I could no longer look at her.

  She crouched down in front of me and I saw her own despair. "I really don't know. I need to think clearly and try to decide who I want most."

  My eyebrows shot up. Who she wanted most? I wasn't a fucking pet.

  "Who you want most?" I spat.

  Her eyes widen. "You know what I meant... Why are you being like this?"

  I thought back to the conversation I had with Brett earlier. He was right. He was so right. I had put myself in a doomed position. She had one conversation with that prick and her whole attitude had changed. She would pick him and deep down I had always known that.

  Why had I been stupid?

  No, it had to end today. I couldn't go like this any more. This why I had my golden rule to avoid situations like this.

  I felt a lump rising in my throat. I hadn't said anything yet and already it was hurting. To think about it hurt. It was for the best. I'd probably regret it. However, I would eventually get over it but it was going to take a very long time. I couldn't look at her.

  "Maybe you should go home Georgina." She lowered her eyes and began to shake her head. "It will be better off for us just to remain boss and PA."

  She jumped up and began pacing the room. "No! Why you being like this?" she yelled. She stopped and her eyes blazed at me. "You don't love me do you?"

  I shook my head. That was a lie. I loved her too much and it was ripping me apart doing this.

  She marched over to me and it one swoop slapped me hard across the face. "PRICK!! I can't believe I fell for all of this. Fucking prick!! How can you be so cold? Don't you have a heart? I can see now why Debbie ran off with your child... Because you are incapable of love!" She placed her hand over her mouth. Her own words had shocked her as much as me. "I'm sorry" she cried. "I didn't mean that. That was below the belt."

  I rubbed my cheek and stared down at my hands. "You're angry, hurt and funny enough that's the truth!" I rose from the bed to the door. "I'll sort everything out. You should be home by tonight."

  She grabbed hold of my wrist stopping me in my tracks. Her blue eyes looked dull and she had gone pale.

  "Are you doing this because you think you have to or because you want to?" Her voice was trailing off and shaky in places. She looked small, lost and vulnerable. It was my fault she was in this state.

  I grabbed her and pulled her in to me. I clung tightly to her took one last sniff of her perfect scent. She raised her head to look at me. I ran my thumb over her lips and pulled away. I couldn't bare to touch her any longer otherwise it would change my mind. I had to stick to it this time. I had to for her sake and for mine.

  "I'm sorry" With that I left the room and closed the door on the only person who had ever made me feel alive.

  CHAPTER 14

  I glared at the bottle in front of me...Whisky!! I laughed out loud. I was turning into my father. I poured another glass and downed it. If I was going to get any sleep tonight I had to drink myself into an oblivion. I heard the key in the door.

  She was back?

  She said she wouldn't be back till tomorrow. I hadn't prepared myself for this.

  SHIT!!!

  I rubbed my face and there she was standing before me.

  "Hey" she smiled as she dumped the bag down.

  "Hey!" I looked back my bottle. It would be rude not to have another. She took a seat watching me pour a drink and downing it.

  She looked puzzled. "What's with the whisky?"

  "You tell me" I snorted. "Have a good time with the boss? Why you back? He dismissed you or something." I laughed to myself and glared at her.

  How could she walk in like nothing had happened?? This wasn't the Georgina I knew. He had brain
washed her and taken all her innocence away. I still loved her with all my heart. I still wanted to marry her and the thought of her with someone had destroyed me. No matter what she was still my girl and I wouldn't give up without a fight.

  "I have no idea what you're talking about, Blake!" She grabbed the whiskey bottle and went to take it away. "I think you have had enough for tonight. Maybe you should go and sleep it off."

  I grabbed her hand and retrieved my bottle back. "I know... So, if you don't mind just for tonight… I'll drink exactly how much and what I want."

  Her mouth became wide open and her eyes were moving side to side fast. I wasn't sure if she shocked that I knew or that I was doing what I wanted to do.

  She shook her head. "I have no clue what you're talking about?"

  I laughed. Now she was going to make out I was stupid. I got up and left the room. I returned a few seconds carrying the tat I had found. I threw it down on the breakfast bar. Georgina looked at it there was no expression on her face.

  "Ring any bells?"

  "Should it" she picked up the necklace and her fingers gently smoothed over the R. "Where did you find it?"

  "In the wardrobe after I got off the phone with your mother." Her eyes looked up in shock. "Yeah, your mother!! According to her you didn't stay with her that weekend and your boss took you to London."

  The thought made me sick.

  She had lied to me.

  Why would she lie?

  Then I remembered the note I found with the necklace and black dress. I threw down on the table. "You could lie again but I have all the proof I need."

  I watched as she rested her head in her hands.

  "Why is your boss buying you presents and taking you to London? What exactly did you get up to this weekend?" She didn't answer. I slammed my fist down in temper. I didn't like being made to look stupid. "TALK!!" I yelled.

  She looked up and wiped a tear away. "You want to know, do you?"

  I nodded.

  "Fine!! I have been seeing him. Happy now!!" She burst into tears again. She stood up. "I'm going to bed. I really can't deal with any of this right now. Especially when you have been drinking."

  I watched as she ran out of the room. It felt like someone had punched me in the stomach...

  What had she meant seeing him?

  Had she slept with him?

  Kissed him?

  The thought made my blood run cold. I couldn't breath. My girl?? The cheat?? No!!!

  All of a sudden questions began to run through my head. I couldn't leave it like this. I had a right to know. I was the victim in all of this. I marched into the bedroom. Georgina was sitting at the dressing table sorting her hair out.

  She turned to look at me and quickly looked away.

  "What do you mean you've been seeing him?" I asked my voice could of turned the sea into ice.

  She spun round on the stool and glared at me. Where had that sparkle gone from her. "Do you mean you just go out as friends or does seeing HIM means..." I couldn't say it. The thought was churning my stomach. I knew I couldn't rest until I had the whole truth. "Fucking him?"

  She looked up and terror filled her face. She gave a little nod with no words. By the look of her face I knew it was the second one.

  I really don't know what got into me within a second I felt my hand slam into her face. I stumbled back still holding my hand up in shock.

  No!!

  Had I just hit my girl?

  I looked over at Georgina, she was crouched on the floor, crying and grasping her face. I rushed down to comfort her. I had never done that before and I would never ever do it again. I hope she wouldn't leave me. I couldn't survive without her.

  I grabbed her face and she flinched. Eventually she let me touch her. "I'm sorry... I shouldn't of done that." I placed a sweet kiss on her cheek.

  Her eyes finally met mine. "I deserved it, Blake. The last couple of weeks I have been selfish. I have been everything you don't deserve. I really don't know what got into me."

  I pulled her into me. "And now?"

  "It's over, Blake." She returned my hug. "Please lets leave it."

  Part of me wanted to but I had more questions. Burning questions that couldn't be denied. I sat back on my heels and looked at my girl. She looked different. Right now she looked like a complete stranger. My wife to be had been sleeping with another man.

  I closed my eyes and took a deep breath reopening them. "How long?"

  She rolled her eyes and ran a hand through her hair. "Please... I don't want to do this .. . It's over leave it please."

  "How long Georgina and I want the truth. If we are going to move on and get married!" A voice in my head laughed. Was I still actually contemplating marrying her still? Of course I loved her and no one was EVER going to get in the way of us. She belonged to me and we were meant to be together.

  "Since my job interview!" She confessed.

  I stood up....

  Job interview?

  Didn't we see him the day after?

  Was she seeing him then?

  Fuck I was so stupid. The way he looked at her and that tone. I noticed at the meeting. She was good because I thought she wasn't interested in him. I had to get out and go somewhere away from her. I headed for the door with Georgina following. I grabbed my keys and jacket.

  "Where are you going? You can't leave now... We need to talk!" She pleaded.

  I didn't care. I no longer wanted to see her.

  I spun round and anger filled my voice. "I'm going out!!" With that I left slamming the door behind me.

  Walking through Oxford city centre wasn't something I would do on a Saturday night. It was packed with students getting drunk. I pulled my phone out of my pocket. I was going to regret this but I knew she didn't live far from the high street. I searched my contacts and there it was. I debated whether to press call but something took over and I did.

  "Well, Blakie" She laughed. "Why you are ringing me tonight?"

  I laughed too. "I have nowhere to go. Me and Georgina have just had a fight. I was just wondering around and I thought I might come and see you."

  I wasn't going to tell her exactly what our fight was about. I knew Veronica would be on the phone to my mother. We all knew she had a problem with Georgina.

  "Come round and see me, Blakie. I'm alone and it's a big place for one tiny woman."

  "Good I'll see you in 5." I hung up and put my phone in my pocket.

  Was this actually a good idea?

  Maybe I should go home and see Georgina. We should talk things through.

  Why?

  She's been fucking that knob for what 4 weeks!!

  No I had to teach her lesson. I wasn't her door mat who she ran to when her lover dumped her.

  But I loved her....

  I took a deep breath. My head was all over the place. No I would go and see Veronica. Maybe when I got in Georgina would be in bed and I could avoid her till tomorrow.

  Before I knew it I was outside Veronica's apartment. I wasn't actually feeling that drunk after all the whisky. Georgina's confession had sobered me up. I rang her buzzer and the door opened. I had to prepare myself for Veronica. Maybe it was a mistake coming here?

  I got to the front door and there she was standing before me. She looked amazing, hair tied back, no make-up and in sweats. Why didn't she always dress this way? She didn't look half as scary as she normally did. This was the Veronica I have grown up with.

  "Hey" she smiled. "Are you coming in?" I nodded and followed her in.

  I looked round her living room; It was covered with pictures of herself and everything was pink. What else did I expect?

  "Take a seat" she pointed to the pink sofa. "I'll go and get us something to drink." I relaxed on her sofa and few seconds she returned with two wine glasses. She took a seat next to me and handed me my drink. I took a big gulp. I needed it.

  I wondered what Georgina was doing? Was she talking to him? I downed the rest and the thought angered me.

>   "Hey" Veronica laughed she looked at me and gave a smile. "What's wrong?"

  I wasn't going to confess all. I didn't need to air my dirty laundry in public. In fact the more I kept thinking about it the more embarrassing it was.

  Why had my girl gone?

  What did I do bad that made her cheat?

  Unless it was all him? Maybe he took an advantage of her? Whatever it was the feelings of betrayal, embarrassment, hurt, anger weren't leaving any time soon. I rested my head in my hands.

  Why hadn't I cried?

  I kept getting the lump in my throat but no tears were a merging.

  Was I that numb?

  "Blake?" Veronica said concerned. She moved towards me and wrapped her arm around me.

  "What's she done to you?"

  I looked up her eyes were warm with care. "I think I'm losing her, Veronica. She's changed....."I ran a hand through my hair. "She is like a different person and I'm not sure whether I like her very much at the moment."

  "Oh Blake!" She began to run her fingers up and down my leg. "I don't know why you're with her anyway. .. I always knew she would hurt in a way. I mean she's pretty. Very pretty... I just never thought she was good enough for you." She placed her hand on my face and turned my face to look at her. Our eyes meet. She had warm loving eyes without all that make-up stuck to her face. "Let me help you?" My eyes widen.

  What did she mean? Before I knew it she jumped onto my lap and her tongue was in my mouth.

  Fuck!!! Is this why I came here?

  No!! I pushed her away and she looked shocked.

  "Veronica! That is not helping me" I jumped up and glared at her. "We are friends okay. I love Georgina and I still want to marry her." I stopped and suddenly the image of Georgina crumpled on the floor clutching her face hit me.

  I had hit her!! I had hit her beautiful face.

  Shit!!

  "I need to go!"

  "What back to her?" Veronica spat. "What's she got that I haven't?"

  "What are you talking about?" I yelled. I really didn't understand what was going on. I had come here just for a friendly chat.