by JA Low
“Just friends?” My question is a whisper against his lips.
“Friendly friends.” His tongue runs along my bottom lip, teasing me.
“And only tonight?”
“Yes. But I guarantee after tonight you will want more,” he says cockily. He’s probably right.
“So sure of yourself.” I smile, letting my hands roam over his body.
“I am when it comes to women. I understand what they want.” His teeth find the sensitive dip in my neck, which sends shock waves over my body. “Let me make you feel better, Issy.” I can’t say no anymore. To hell with the consequences, everyone else seems to be doing what they damn well please, why shouldn’t I?
“Morning gorgeous.” Tyler kisses my cheek. I stretch out and every muscle in my body aches, then I remember why. Holy shit! I slept with Tyler Dean from Sons of Brooklyn. Shit, shit, shit. “Hey, I can see the panic on your face, Issy,” he laughs. “Don’t freak out over last night.” He places a cup of coffee on the bedside table. “We had fun. Well, I had fun and I’m pretty sure the scratch marks on my back tell me you did as well.” I throw a pillow at him, embarrassed. “Hey.” He catches the pillow. “Don’t be like that.” He gives me a cheeky grin. “Seriously, Is. Last night was fun.” Yeah it was, the images of all the things we did last night filter through my mind turning my cheeks pink. “I can see you’re remembering exactly what we did,” he chuckles, making me roll my eyes. “But seriously, are we good this morning?”
“Of course.” I let him know I’m okay and that I won’t become some stage five clinger.
“Good.” He looks relieved. “Just wanted to check because you know, some chicks say they are okay with it being just a one-night stand until they see you out with someone else and they go crazy on your ass.” This makes me laugh.
“I promise, no jealousy here.” It feels quite liberating having a one-night stand. He looks relieved.
“Cool.” He leans over giving me a kiss. “I better go and do the walk of shame.” I throw another pillow at him. “Hey, that’s what I get for giving you multiple orgasms and breakfast in bed.” He throws the pillow back at me.
“What, a coffee?” I question sarcastically, eyeing the steaming hot cup beside me.
“That’s not breakfast. I ordered you some shit off the in-room dining menu; it’s sitting in the living room when you’re ready.” I’m pleasantly surprised. That is so sweet.
“Thank you.” He shrugs.
“Least I could do for a beautiful woman who rocked my world.” He waggles his eyebrows at me, making me laugh. Thank God for Tyler, he’s pretty awesome. He leans over and kisses my cheek. “If you need my services again, any time, you know where to find me.” And with that he waltz’s out of my room.
18
Finn
Life’s crazy at the moment. Evan, Christian and Vanessa rushed over to Paris when Sienna was involved in a car accident, she is lucky to be alive. Evan also found out she was pregnant and proposed atop of the Eiffel Tower, romantic fucker. This left Axel, Oscar, Isla and I to get ready for the launch of Dirty Texas Records, the next adventure in our lives after being rock stars. It’s exciting times here at the moment, would be a lot nicer if Isla was talking to me though. Since London a frostiness has settled between us. There were a couple of tense moments not long after London where the same level from frost set between myself and Oscar. Those Eriksen’s sure know how to hold a grudge. Eventually, Oscar relented and told me how Liam surprised Isla in London and told her everything, confessed all his sins and mine as well. Now Isla’s frostiness makes sense, I don’t blame her either. I’d be upset if the roles were reversed, so I’ll just give her time and space until she’s processed it all. I was shocked about the whole Tyler situation. Little fucker. He just laughed in my face when I told him to keep away from her. Stupid fucking punk. It wasn’t my finest moment in London with that groupie, I caved, and karma hit me right in the balls with it as well.
It’s late at Dirty Texas Records, Isla’s office light is still on. I should really sort this out between us. I knock on her office door.
“Come in,” she calls out in her work voice.
“Hey, it’s me.” She looks up for a second then looks straight back down again.
“What can I help you with?” she asks putting down her pen. It’s as if she is talking to one of her assistants not her damn best friend.
“I’ve missed you.”
“That’s nice. Was there anything else, I’m kind of busy here.” Her tone is cool.
“I know. You’ve been working hard.” Like she always does, over and above for all of us.
“It’s my job. It’s what I do.” I’ve never seen this Isla before; she has such a cold indifference toward me.
“Have I done something to upset you?” I know what I’ve done but I don’t want to hear it second hand, I want to hear it from her. She raises an eyebrow at me. Okay, she’s going to make me work for it. “I’m sorry about what happened in London with that girl. I didn't mean for you to see that.” I put my hands into my jeans pockets.
“I’ve seen that scene a million times before. It doesn’t bother me anymore.” Her statement is like a sucker punch to the stomach.
“It was a shock seeing you with Tyler though.” She shrugs. “Are you two?” I’ve been curious about this but Oscar hasn’t mentioned Tyler at all, and I’m sure if he knew he would have fucked Tyler’s shit up by now.
“No. He’s just my fuck buddy. A very good one at that.” Her words are said with such venom.
“Okay, well I guess I’ll leave you to it.” I turn, maybe now isn’t the time, she’s not very receptive to me at the moment.
“You betrayed me, Finn.” Her voice cracks as a single tear falls down her cheek.
“What are you talking about?” I know exactly what she’s talking about.
“Liam was at the London after party.”
“Did Sammy kick him out?” I rock on my heels.
“No, he left on his own accord. But not before throwing you under the bus.” Our eyes lock, her icy-blue eyes more vibrant than ever before
“Me?” Keep going with that lie, boy.
“Don’t play dumb. I’m sure my brother filled you in as soon as I spilled the beans to him. And I know he was pissed when you had hidden it from him as well.” I shrug. Not much more I could do.
“I was trying to protect you.”
“By making a deal with the devil?”
“He had nothing to lose, Issy. He was going to release those tapes. I couldn’t let that happen.” She shakes her head again.
“You helped him get his life back.”
“I made sure he was out of your fucking life,” I tell her.
“He destroyed me, Finn, and you go and reward him.”
“Issy. It wasn’t like that.” She doesn’t understand. “He was ready to show everyone the video of you two together. He had images and photos, he had everything, Is.”
“And now you have them.”
“They are in my safe. No one has access to them,” I reassure her.
“But you’ve seen them.” I look down at the floor, because I have, I’ve seen the photos. “I feel violated, Finn. Do you understand that?” I can hear the hurt in her voice. “I had no idea he took any of those. I had no fucking idea.” My eyes widen. That fucking bastard. “How the hell am I meant to trust men again after this? Huh.”
“Issy, I’m sorry. I thought I was doing the right thing.” She shakes her head.
“Just go. Finn. Please. Just go.”
“No.” I stand my ground. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, Is. But who the hell could I have told about this? Imagine if Oscar found out. He would have tried to kill him. He probably would have. Then the images and videos would have been sent to the highest bidder. I did it for you. For Oscar. I did it because I love you.” She looks dumbfounded at my confession.
“Fuck you.” Her words cut me. “How dare you say that to me. You don’t love me. I’m j
ust a nice shinny trophy you like playing with every now and again. Something you look at with fond memories and something you don’t like sharing.”
“Issy.” My heart is breaking at her words. How can she ever doubt my feelings for her?
“Finn, I’m done. Please go.” And with that she returns to her work dismissing me. I’m not sure if our friendship is going to be able to come back from this.
Four months later
Thanksgiving
We’re celebrating Thanksgiving all together at Sienna and Evan’s new family friendly home. It’s Sienna’s first Thanksgiving and they have gone all out for it, flying in everyone’s families for the event, even my own brothers are going to be there for it. The first time in, I have no idea how long, the Connolly boys will be all together in one place. It’s not that we aren’t close, we are, we all just have super busy lives and live all over the place. Hudson, the oldest, has been stationed in the Middle East, working as a photojournalist over there; sorry he’s an award winning photojournalist. Then there’s Parker, the youngest, who just spent the summer working in Europe as a model. Yeah, he’s totally full of himself, cocky little prick, but he did get all the good genes in the family. Lastly, there’s Jackson, my second youngest brother. Where do I start with him? Not long after my fight with Isla the news of Jackson’s accident came in. He’s been stationed in the Middle East on and off for the past decade. Hudson’s been lucky enough to catch up with him when he’s been stationed at the same place, which has brought them closer together. I guess working in a war zone with your brother will do that. Apparently, it was just like any other day in Iraq doing patrols, nothing special, until their convoy hit an IED on the side of the road. Their Humvee took the full force of the blast. When Hudson called us with the news, we didn’t know if Jackson was dead or alive, his unit were being flown out to Germany to get medical treatment, Hudson was going with them. I was home alone, my family a million miles apart from each other and the one person I needed at that moment was no longer there for me. It was the loneliest moment of my life.
But then she came, they all did, my Dirty Texas family rallied around me when I needed them the most. Isla ended up staying the night, wrapping herself around me, giving me as much of her strength as she could give. Thankfully, the next morning we got word that Jackson was out of surgery and that he was one of the lucky ones that day. He ended up with deep shrapnel wounds in his leg, but they were able to save it, unfortunately others in his unit weren’t so lucky. Because of Jackson’s injuries he was medically discharged from the military. Those days were hard for him after he left; he had a lot of rehab to do on his leg. He flew to Texas so my parents could look after him, and now that he’s much better, and a little over Mom’s constant mothering, he’s moved in with me. Plus, he’s closer to his military friends out here as well. He’s adjusted to his new civilian life really well, which surprised me. After catching up with some buddies they decided to start up their own security company that is dedicated to medically discharged Vets who are struggling to find work. The transition back into civilian life is hard for some. When Jackson came to me with his business idea, I loved it. I donated as much money as he needed to start his new adventure. I didn’t care how much it would cost me, as long as my brother was happy and healthy that was all that matter. And he is, especially now that Axel has employed his company to be Dirty Texas Records’ security team. After the disaster of what happened at the Sons of Brooklyn concert and all the bad press associated with that, we never want that to happen again. We needed people we could trust, and who better than ex-military, the loyalist of them all.
19
Isla
One month later
Australia
This place is heaven on earth. I look out over the lush green rainforest that surrounds me, the bright blue ocean that sits on the horizon. My cabin hangs out over the rainforest floor, all I can hear around me is the crazy songs of the native birds echoing through the trees. The cabin is set over two levels with my bedroom on the upper level and on the bottom level is my living room, small kitchen and a deck that hangs precariously over the edge of the forest. Sitting on the far end is a Jacuzzi and an outdoor shower. I look around the rainforest and I can’t see another cabin through the foliage, it’s just me, myself and I. I quickly strip off my clothes and jump under the cool water of the outdoor shower, it’s stinking hot, the heat feels like its burning my skin off. Plus, I need to scrub off the fifteen-hour plane trip from my skin. After I’m clean I jump into the Jacuzzi, still naked, the bubbles easing my aching muscles. I must fall asleep from the utter relaxation of it all because I’m woken up to someone calling my name.
“Issy.” My eyes open and I see Finn staring down at me. The bubbles long gone, the water crystal clear. I scream and cover myself. Shit.
“What are you doing here?” I yell at him.
“I just…” His eyes dip down to my chest.
“Would you stop being a perv and find me a towel.” He walks inside the cabin searching for one. Moments later he’s back with it in his hand. I look up at him as he holds open the fluffy white towel for me. “Would you close your eyes, please.” Finn smiles but does as I ask. I quickly wrap myself with the fluffy material.
“Nothing I haven’t seen before.” He raises his brows at me.
“It’s been a long time since you’ve seen all this.” I miss it. I miss his hands, his lips, his… I shake my head, do not think about his cock.
“Too long.” He moves closer, my heart ramps up. I haven’t seen Finn in a long while, not since Jackson moved into his home.
“Take a step back. This…” I wave my hand over my body, “…is not for your eyes.” Lies, lies, lies, my mind is shouting. The way my body is humming with every sweep of his stare across my naked skin tells me I most definitely want his eyes on me.
“Such a shame.” Finn gives me a cocky smile, one I haven’t seen in a long time, one that I miss, one that makes my body light up, one that touches every nerve ending in my body. “If you do need anything, anything,” he slowly announces each letter. “I’m staying in the cabin next door.” He points behind him, but all I see is trees. His flirtiness has caught me off guard. Especially since we have gone back to being friends again, like the old days, before I stupidly started jumping into his bed again. Things were simple and easy between us back then, with dormant feelings getting in the way.
“Are you suggesting that I might be a little hard up for companionship? Are you expecting me to creep through the rainforest and into your bed?” I move my hands to my hips giving him sass for thinking I’m that easy, even if there is some slight truth to it. Finn’s eyes move back down to my chest. A warm breeze brushes against my skin. Shit. I’ve let go of the stupid towel. I quickly pull it back up and hold it against my skin. I shoot Finn a glare because he’s finding this hilarious.
“On that note, I’ll let you go.” He starts to walk away then stops just at the door. “You still look as good as I remember.” That smirk, that motherfucking smirk just does it for me, I hate that it does stupid things to my lady parts. Finn has shown no interest in me for months, he didn’t even seem to care when I went out on a date with Wes from California Bros., he told me he was a good guy, that he would treat me right. That’s not the kind of reaction I wanted, I wanted him to be all alpha and growly and mark his territory like he used to, but now…now there’s just the friends zone. Except friends don’t look at friends like he just did.
I can’t believe Evan and Sienna are married. Married. They look so happy together, her gorgeous baby bump on display in her wedding dress. And Evan, oh my God, how he has changed. From the once egotistical man whore to a loving, caring, husband and soon to be father. Everything he does is for Sienna. Seeing her happy makes him happy. I take another sip of my champagne; all this love and stuff is making my stomach turn with jealousy. Will I ever find someone? I look out at everyone having fun at the wedding and sigh. I’m being dramatic again, I need to sto
p getting into my head so much. I need to let things go and just go with the flow, no expectations, no planning. It’s hard when my whole life revolves around planning everyone’s life down to the minute. Maybe next year will be my year?
Everyone at the wedding has congregated on the point, which in the day time looks out across the rainforest to the Pacific Ocean, but at the moment it is just one big inky black abyss in front of us. An excited murmur filters over the crowd as we get ready for the clock to strike midnight. Another year is over; at least this one was better than the year before. So many things have happened. I reflect back over the year; meeting Sienna, Derrick and Stacey, making lifelong friendships with them, of course Dirty Texas retiring, the end of our touring days, thank goodness. The start of new beginnings with Dirty Texas Records, which has grown so rapidly. Hooking up with Tyler and Wes, both surprises I wasn’t expecting. Tyler became a great friend. I didn’t even care that he hooked up with Yvette, Sienna’s wedding dress designer, a sexy, spicy, Latina. I didn’t feel an ounce of jealousy; he’s a good guy and deserves to have fun. Jackson having his accident and surviving; he’s now working with us as our new security team. Everyone else seems to be moving along, excelling in their life, whereas I’m still here doing what I have always done since I was eighteen, look after Dirty Texas. Is this what I want to do with my life? Why is this the first time I have asked myself this question? Ten years I have been working for them but this is the first time I’m questioning it all. What does Isla Eriksen want? That’s the million-dollar question, isn’t it? I guess if I knew the answer to that I wouldn’t be feeling the way I am.
I take a look around at all the people waiting in anticipation for the clock to strike, hope lacing their faces as they look at the person holding them, waiting for the moment when they can kiss the one they are with. Who will I kiss at midnight? Who is going to hold me close and wish me good will? A sense of extreme loneliness flows over me. I may have a million people around me at any moment of the day, but in that sea of people I feel so alone. I can hear the countdown begin. This is a new year Isla, a new you, maybe you should start chasing what you want in life instead of standing on the sidelines watching it pass you by. You need to say yes more often. I realize now that Liam changed me over the years. He changed the girl that used to be up for any kind of adventure, she disappeared under his spell, his questioning, his anger. I lost the essence of who Isla Eriksen is. Find it again. Be brave, go after what you want, no questions asked, live life, embrace it all. And with that new found mantra I started to ring in the new year.