by Mari Mancusi
My body stopped short as it slammed into something solid. I looked up, realizing that I'd just smacked into the very person I'd first wanted to find but now sought to avoid. Craig looked down at me in a mixture of surprise and annoyance. He grabbed me by the shoulders, his eyes piercing.
"Where the hell have you been?" he demanded.
I didn't have time for explanations. For excuses. He wouldn't understand anyway. He wouldn't believe. I suddenly realized that, Mariah or no, Terra had become a huge part of me. And he couldn't share that. There was no use wasting any more time on this superficial relationship built out of attraction and convenience.
"Long story," I muttered. "Let me go."
"I'm on my break. I have time for a long story. Let's go to the back room and you can tell me."
"I'm sorry," I said, and I was, in a way. "But I don't have time right now"
He didn't let go of me. "Why?" he demanded. I looked down at his hand gripping my arm. How come I'd never noticed he had one of those weird moon tattoos? "Got a hot date?" he asked. He was bluffing, of course, not having any idea how close he was to the truth. "You know, usually it's custom to break up with someone you don't want to see anymore, instead of just disappearing off the face of the Earth, leaving them standing at your door with a bag of vegetarian takeout."
I cringed a little, feeling his disappointment, his anger. He didn't deserve the treatment he'd gotten from me. He'd been a decent boyfriend for a lot of years. Just because I didn't share the connection with him that I did with Dawn didn't mean I should hurt him.
But this was an emergency. I couldn't waste any more time. If what the girls said was true, then Dark Siders were dying and it was all because of me. I had to get back there and figure out a plan to stop the government from killing them. And I needed all the time I could get.
I reached up, kissed Craig on the cheek, and said good-bye forever. I felt terrible, especially after catching a glimpse of his hurt face, but I saw no alternative. My life here was trivial and unimportant, and I was wasting valuable time. I had to help the people who needed me.
"I'm sorry," I said one more time, really meaning it.
Then I pushed past him and raced up to the VIP room before he could stop me, and plopped down in a chair. Out of the corner of my eye I saw that he was running after me, taking the steps two at a time. I had to act fast. I grabbed for the necklace, fumbling with it for a moment before my fingers located the tiny button.
I pressed down hard, closed my eyes, and readied myself to go back to hell.
A hell that was feeling more and more like my real home.
13
I open my eyes and find myself in a now-familiar, swirling Technicolor Moongazing booth. I let out a sigh of relief. It worked. I'm back.
I take off the Moongazing glasses and step outside the booth and into the hallway, feeling a bit freaked out at what I've just done: left my home, willingly, and perhaps, a nagging thought at the back of my brain reminds me, for good this time.
I shake my head. I can regret this all later. Right now I have to find the Eclipsers and get an update of what's going on and how I can help. I have to find Dawn.
I dash down the hallway and burst out into the lobby of Moongazer Station. It's completely empty now, making me wonder what time it is on Terra.
"Short trip," the proprietor notes coolly from behind the counter, looking me up and down with his spectacle-covered eyes. Does this guy ever take a break? A day off?
I shrug. "Long enough," I reply, suddenly realizing how oddly good it feels to be back. The weird, displaced vertigo I'd been suffering on Earth has totally disappeared, and I'm almost getting this strange home-sweet-home vibe. I feel like ... me again. Which doesn't make any sense, I realize, but there you go.
I grab the phone off the counter and dial Dawn's number, praying that he has his cell phone on him.
"Hello?" he answers a moment later, his voice low and sleepy sounding.
I let out the breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding. "Oh my God, Dawn," I cry, relief and happiness flooding through me just from hearing him answer. "I'm so glad you're there."
"Mariah?"
I pause, consider, then force myself to correct him. "It's ... it's Skye."
"Um, right. Sorry," he stammers, sounding a bit out of breath. I remember the Indy girls' tales of the poison. My heart quickens. Is Dawn down there, literally asphyxiating as we speak? "Where are you?" he asks, finding his questions. "I thought-aren't you on Earth? How can you be calling me?"
Oh yeah, I guess an explanation is in order. But perhaps not with the nosy proprietor eavesdropping while pretending to sweep the floor. "It's a long story. I can't explain now. But I'm at Moongazer Station. Can you come get me?"
"I'll be there in five minutes. They've latched the rabbit holes from above, so you'll have to come down to me. I'll meet you at the bottom of the ladder. But be careful, Skye. The government's looking for you. And they'll pretty much stop at nothing to get you back."
"I know," I say. "Please hurry."
I head outside and down the street till I find the rabbit hole. It's the one Dawn and I climbed down on my first trip to Terra. That day seems a lifetime ago, and my heart thuds in anticipation of seeing him again. I've missed him, I realize. Even in this short time of being apart, I've missed him dreadfully.
I climb down, replacing the manhole cover above, realizing this could very well be a one-way trip. As I head down into the darkness, the air becomes thicker and sickly sweet. My lungs struggle to take it in, and panic swells. But I force myself to practice my breathing exercises. As long as I stay calm, there's plenty of air. At least for now.
I step off the ladder and onto the road. The air is still and quiet. A moment later, Dawn pulls up on his bike, parking it and jumping off, throwing his arms around me and squeezing me so tightly it's even more difficult to breathe. "Oh, Skye," he cries, burying his face in my hair. "Oh, sweetie, I thought I'd never see you again."
I nestle my head against his chest, feeling his rapid heartbeat against my ear. He feels so good. So solid, warm. I breathe him in, his musky scent tickling my every extremity He's so beautiful, so wonderful. So passionate and loving. How could I have ever thought to leave him, to abandon him for my shallow existence on Earth?
Never again, a voice inside me whispers. You belong with him. And you should do everything in your power to stay by his side.
Dawn pulls out of the hug, cupping my face in his hands, looking down at me with loving, desperate eyes. "Why did you come back?" he asks, his voice fraught with concern. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm happy to see you. But it's not safe here. The government they've .. " He trails off, gesturing weakly to the fans. "We'll be dead in a week if they have their way."
"I heard," I say, standing on my tiptoes to kiss him lightly on the mouth. His lips tremble as they meet mine. "That's why I came back. You need me."
He sighs. "I d rather you were safe," he says, pointing at his bike. "Get on, we'll go to headquarters. Everyone's already gathered. We're trying to work out a plan."
We arrive at the Eclipser headquarters and go through all the bells and whistles to obtain admittance. Inside, all the usual suspects are gathered. Their faces are drawn with worry and stress, and it doesn't appear that they've eaten or slept for days. The air inside is even thicker and staler, and it's very difficult to breathe.
They look up when we enter, concern etched on each face.
"Sister Mariah," Ruth greets me, rising from the table to walk over. Her movements are slow, probably to conserve air. "We thought you left. That you went back to Earth."
I accept her weak hug. "I did. But then I heard what the Circle had done. All because of me. I couldn't just stay on Earth and let you guys suffer for my sake."
Kayce frowns. "But at least there you would have been safe. I don't think you realize how dangerous your situation here is. They'll wait until we're half dead and too weak to fight back, then charge in here full force, le
aving no stone unturned until they locate you." He sighs. "On Earth, at least they wouldn't have found you."
"Then what? You'd all be dead. What good is it for me to be safe for the revolution if the revolution has been reduced to a pile of bodies at the bottom of a pit? That's stupid." I realize I'm being harsh, but what else can I do? They've got to see reason here.
"They're bluffing," suggests Hiro. "They wouldn't really kill us all. They need us for mining."
"Maybe they're planning to use nTs to do that," I say quietly, remembering the Indy teen's theory. Dawn cringes. In fact, they all do. I guess none of them really wants to admit this could be one act of mass genocide, taking care of a troublesome population once and for all.
"No," Kayce says finally. "I refuse to believe it. This will all blow over. We just have to stay strong. In the meantime, we need to get you out of here."
Dawn nods. "Yes, Skye. We need you to go back to Earth."
I stare at him, mouth open. "You want me to go back?" I can't believe what I'm hearing.
He shrugs. "I'm not a fan of you Moongazing, but it's better than leaving you here like a sitting duck. They'll find you and kill you if you stay." He shoots me a pointed look. "And I'm not going to stand around and let that happen."
The room erupts in murmurs as the Eclipsers discuss the situation. I grab Dawn's hand and drag him to the back of the room. Are you crazy?" I hiss. "You really want me to hide out on Earth while you guys suffer here?"
"Yes," he says simply.
"But you think 'Gazing is dangerous. Addictive."
"Potential addiction is better than immediate poisoning."
"But I can't leave you guys."
He grabs my hands in his and squeezes. "I appreciate your loyalty," he says. "But there's another thing to consider. If we're weak and they charge in, if we're found harboring you, maybe they really will kill us all. If you're not here when they raid, maybe they'll figure they made a mistake. They'll stop the siege, hand out antidotes . . ." He's really clutching at straws to protect me.
In the center of the room, Ruth raps her gavel against the table. "We'll take an hour recess," she announces. And then make our decision."
The Eclipsers file out of the room one by one, slowly and deliberately, so as not to use up excess air. Soon Dawn and I are the only ones left. I climb up on the table and plop myself down.
"Skye, it's the only way you'll be safe," Dawn says, joining me. He reaches over and threads his fingers through mine. And I can't bear to lose you again."
"But you will lose me. I'll be on Earth. I want to be here. With you."
Dawn pauses for a moment. "You will be with me."
I turn to look at him, uncomprehending. "What? What do you mean?"
"I'm going to go with you."
"To Earth? You're going to 'Gaze?" I cry, disbelieving. "I don't understand."
"It's simple. As I said before, I won't lose you again. You offered me a choice the last time: go with you or stay to help the Eclipsers. I stayed. I thought I was doing the right thing by doing so. But maybe I was just afraid. Maybe I should have trusted you. What would life be like now if we'd just gone? Said good-bye to it all. We'd be happy on Earth. Wandering the parks, playing with the dogs, cooking fabulous meals, and sipping real wine..."
"You can't mean that."
"Why not?" he asks, jumping off the table, raking a hand through his hair. "I'm sick of living like this! Like a rat in a cage, worried every day that one of us will be killed. And for what? Have we really made a difference?" He shrugs. "I don't know. Seems to me the Dark Siders are worse off than they ever were. At least before we had simple things like air to breathe and food to eat. Now, because of our rebellion, their very existence is in jeopardy. It would have been better for everyone if I'd just gone to Earth and stayed there."
"No!" I cry, sliding off the table. I grab him by the shoulder and pull him around to face me. "You're so wrong. The reason the government is so up in arms is because we're succeeding. They're scared by our victories. They're threatened by our success. We've accomplished so much. We've given the people new hope. A reason to live. The Eclipsers have worked hard, scraping their fingers to the bone for every small victory. And I'm not about to give up now. Fuck Earth. I'm a Terran. An Eclipser. And I'll never run away from my destiny, no matter what they try to do to me."
I pause for breath, but get none as Dawn's mouth clamps down on mine. His lips are crushing and his tongue invades my mouth, taking, imbibing, devouring, as if he's starving and has finally come across lifesaving nourishment. My entire body ignites, taking his inner fire through some sort of osmosis, my passion and his intertwining like strands of DNA. His hands dig through my hair and I wrap my arms around his waist, pulling him close, so close-I'd crawl inside him if I could.
"I love you," he says against my mouth, breathless and husky. "Oh God, how I love you."
My heart soars at his words; his tone leaves no question that he means them. "I love you, too," I whisper back. And I'm glad you understand."
He pulls back so that he can meet my eyes. His expression is flushed but serious. "Of course," he says. "You're right. I was a coward and selfish to suggest we run away to Earth. I just wanted to protect you-to have you. But you're right. It's better to fight back. It's what Mariah would have wanted." He smiles down at me. "I wish I had your strength. Your courage. I wish I wasn't afraid to die."
I shrug. "Don't think I'm not afraid to die," I tell him. "I just can't be afraid to live."
Dawn presses his lips against mine again, kissing me as if there's no tomorrow. And perhaps there won't be, if the poison keeps coming. If the food doesn't arrive.
"Um, sorry. Did you two need more time?"
We break apart from our embrace and my face burns as I realize Ruth and Kayce have reentered the room. I can see Ruth holding back a smile. Dawn grins sheepishly.
"I think we're good," he says.
Ruth widens the door and the other Eclipsers file in. "So, it's time to take a vote," she says, after everyone's settled. "Should
Mariah go back to Earth?"
"There's no need for a vote," I interject. "I've already made my decision."
"She's not going," Dawn adds. "No one is. We're going to fight back."
14
"Fight back?" Hiro echoes skeptically And how do you propose we do that? What can we possibly do to defend ourselves against this kind of siege?"
"Well, first off, how is the poison being piped in?" I ask.
"Up on Stratum One, there's a top-security bunker that serves as both a physical plant and a high-tech headquarters," Kayce explains. "It's a huge sprawling complex that houses almost every project the government's got its mitts in; the controls for everything from traffic lights to Moongazing are all inside. I'm positive this is where they'd run the fan operations."
"So we could go in and somehow stop the poison flow?" I ask. "Reroute the air or something? Do we have that kind of technological expertise?"
"Sure," Kayce says. "It's be no problem at all if we had access to their systems. Just hack in, re-code the ventilation program. Maybe even throw in a little computer virus to prevent them from taking back control once we do it."
"So, that's what we'll do then," I say, proud of my plan.
"If it were that easy, we would have already done it," Ruth interjects.
"As Kayce said, it's a top-security place. We've already tried to hack into their computers to get the thumbprint needed to unlock such doors, but you need a thumb of the highest security clearance imaginable to gain admittance to this place. And those thumb codes aren't listed on regular government files."
"What about the people who work there?"
"They never leave," Hiro explains. "They're nTs. They're grown to work in the building and spend their entire lives inside-eating, working, sleeping. You go in, but you don't ever come out."
"Talk about job security," I mutter. "Okay, so basically what you're saying is we need to create a copy of on
e of the high government official's thumbs."
"Yes." Ruth nods. "But that's something we'll never be able to-"
"I'm on it."
Dawn cocks his head, looking at me with suspicion. "What do you mean?" he demands.
"Easy. Duske wants me back, right? He has the thumb we need. I simply go pay him a visit, tell him I was kidnapped by you guys the entire time and finally managed to escape. Now I want to go home. Once I get him to start trusting me, I'll get his thumbprint."
"No way. It's too dangerous," Dawn says. "You ... alone in that ... house?" He shakes his head. "I won't allow it."
"1 won't be alone," I argue. "You have Thom working on the inside. Probably a whole slew of others, too. They can help if I get into a jam. And once I have the thumbprint, I'll have security clearance to walk right out the front door."
Dawn frowns. "And what if he doesn't believe you? What if he decides to kill you on sight?"
I think for a moment. "Duske used to date Mariah. He was supposed to marry her at one point. And he's definitely attracted to her. You should have seen the way he was staring at me with those beady eyes of his when I was in his house. Not to mention, the horny little bastard's the type to screw anything in a skirt. I bet he wouldn't mind getting a little action from Mariah. Especially if she's all willing and ready to go."
"That's not a bad idea," Ruth says thoughtfully. "We all know the most powerful men on Terra can be reduced to putty with the right smile. And Sister Mariah is definitely many men's right woman."
"I don't like it," Dawn interrupts. "Him, putting his hands on you. I can't-"
"Dawn, it's the only way," I say, laying a hand on his arm. His muscles are hard, tensed. "I'm the only one who can do this. And what alternative do we have? Stay down here until we're weak from hunger and dying of slow poison? If I'm going to die, I want to die in an attempt to save our people."