by Ana Jolene
“She hasn’t been coming in for her shifts. I was worried something happened to her.” I had a guess but I wanted to keep that only between Indy and I. Hanna’s sharp eyes narrowed to slits. “When’s the last time you saw her?” Aw shit. You could never get anything past Hanna. “Hastie,” she warned when I started to eye the exits.
I sighed. “When I broke things off with her.” The redhead’s eyes widened before she glared at me as if I had just admitted to kicking her dog.
“I hope you understand what you could have done.”
I nodded, running a hand over my face. Yeah, I fucking knew. I messed up things beyond fixing. I never realized that Indy would take it this hard. It pained me to know that I was the cause of all her distress.
“I noticed a change in her, Hastie,” Hanna whispered. She wasn’t looking at me, but down at the bar. “Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed it too.”
“I have,” I assured her. It was why I pushed her so hard to tell me what was bothering her.
“What happened to her?” She sounded so sad. “What happened to our Indy?” I shook my head, unable to provide an answer. It was what I was working towards finding out but my efforts had blown up in my face instead. “She used to be the life of the party,” Hanna said quietly. “A ray of sunshine. That’s why I hired her. I wasn’t looking to hire new staff but I wanted her anyway.”
That had been the same thing I thought when I first laid eyes on her. There had been something about Indy that drew me in. Her laughter was infectious, and with her, I had had some of the best days of my life.
“I don’t know what happened between you two and I’m not claiming to understand, but all I know is that whenever you two were together, you looked happy. And in a world like this where the flares come and go, it’s nice to have that kind of rock.”
Hearing those words from Hanna, knowing how well she knew her bartender, it made me realize that I wasn’t ready to give up Indy.
I had to see her. To make sure she was okay. I might have been the one to abandon her, but that would never translate to me not caring about her. You could only hold someone close to you if they wanted to be held. Indy had fought against every welcoming gesture I gave her, making me wonder if she ever trusted me at all.
When I had suggested a break between us, I hoped she’d fight me like she always did. I needed to see that spark within her ignite. To push for something that she really wanted. What I should have done was communicate how I felt about being emotionally blocked from her instead of reacting with hateful words meant to hurt.
“Fuck,” I muttered. This separation thing only made me want her more. Not simply because I felt guilty for hurting her, though that was part of it, but because the both of us were better as a unit.
My phone chirped and I looked down to see a text from Lucky. We doin’ something 2nite?
I sent a text back. No. Got some groveling to do.
Lucky’s response came back swiftly. LOL. I’d like to see that. Can I come too?
No.
Just make sure u pout a little. Girls love that shit. With your lip ring, it’ll look sexy.
U think my lip ring is sexy?
I luv it :)
Gd 2 kno. May need u l8r 2 pick me up from the floor. Groveling is new 2 me.
I got u, bro.
With that, I headed over to Indy’s armed with apologizes and my sexy pout, willing and ready to use anything and everything in my arsenal to fix this mess I’d made of us.
Indy
I rolled over with a groan. Could’ve sworn someone was calling my name but when several more seconds passed and there was no sound, I rolled back over in bed and shoved a pillow between my legs.
“INDDDDYYYYYY!!” Seconds later, my bedroom door swung open with a bang. My best friend stood there filling up my doorway with her hands on her hips, a clear sign that she was pissed. “What the hell is going on with you?” she cried. “Hanna called. Said you haven’t been coming into work?”
Oh right. ’Bout that. I hadn’t been the best employee lately, missing my shifts and not calling in beforehand to make sure someone could come in and cover them. I hadn’t been in the mood to speak to anyone really.
Thank goodness it hadn’t been Hanna to barge in here demanding I haul my sorry ass into work even though I deserved it. I wasn’t sure how I was going to face her. “Hey, are you even listening to me?” Seven threw her slipper at me. “Wake up, you cow!”
When that did nothing to snap me out of the sorry state I was in, she latched onto my ankles and tugged hard. Crying out, I fought her, kicking even as I held onto the end of the mattress. “Leave me alone, you crazy bitch!” Seven’s sudden laughter broke through the air. I slid an irritated glance at her as I tried to straighten my top that had ridden up. “What’s so fucking funny?”
“You.” She sighed. “How long are you going to be like this?”
I had no answer for that. My body felt weak and weighed down like I wore cement blocks as shoes.
“Come on, Indy. Can you at least give Hanna a call and let her know what’s going on with you? I’m sure she’ll understand.”
“I don’t think that Hanna will see it as professional if I tell her I don’t want to go into work because I’ll see Hastie there.”
“Well, you’re not exactly looking professional by not calling in either.”
“Shit, you’re right.” I was letting Hanna down.
“Call her,” Seven said with a meaningful look before she handed me her phone.
I stared at it for a long moment, fear mounting. “Take it, Indy. I can’t do this anymore.”
“Do what?”
Seven’s eyes softened. “I can’t watch you cry for days and then go numb. You have to go back out there.”
Damn.
Something inside of me deflated at hearing those words out loud. Seven didn’t often comment on my moods. That she was now caused me to question just how deep I had dug myself into a hole this time. Was I that bad?
“Please, Indy,” she begged. “You can’t continue to hide from the world. You’re stronger than this.” She lessened the distance between us, holding out her phone once again. “Call her.”
I rolled my eyes but took the phone she offered. As I dialed the dive bar’s number, music played in the background before Hanna’s boisterous voice filled the other end. “You better be dead or damn close to it, Indy! What’s so bad that you can’t come to speak to me about it?”
Only Hanna could threaten you and then make you feel bad about it. She had every right to yell at me so it came as a surprise when she asked me what was wrong. No other employer in my past had cared enough to ask.
“I’m sorry, Hanna. I haven’t been feeling good and well, you know Hastie and I had a falling out, right?”
“I heard about that, honey, and I’m sorry for that. But you still should’ve called me to let me know about your shifts. I have a business to run.”
I winced. She was yet another person I had failed. But Hanna was right. I was being irresponsible and I had to own up to it. I couldn’t let this keep me down. This depression could go fuck itself. In order to stop feeling this way, I had to break the cycle. “You’re completely right,” I said. “If it’s okay, I want to come in tomorrow for my shift.” In my peripheral vision, I saw Seven give me a thumbs up.
I could almost hear Hanna’s growing smile on the other end of the line. “All right, baby girl. You take care of yourself and I’ll see you tomorrow.” In a lower voice, she said, “Stay strong, mama. Remember, there are no rainbows without rain.”
It was like she knew exactly what to say to make me feel better. I think I smiled genuinely for the first time in days. “Thanks. I will.”
Hastie
I came to a stop in front of Indy’s house. Removing my helmet, I took a moment to take it all in. There was a great likelihood she would slam the door in my face. My actions had been beyond cruel and selfish. The earlier trip to Ward Three had put me on edge. In
dy’s constant denials and lies weren’t helping my mood either. I had sensed that something was wrong with her for weeks. And now hearing Hanna’s take on it made me believe that it wasn’t just me being paranoid.
When I was by the front door, I took a deep breath to ease my nervousness and knocked once. For a long moment, there was no sound from within until suddenly, the door swung open to reveal Indy. Her eyes sharpened when she saw me standing there. “Hi.”
“What do you want?” The glacial tone in her voice matched the coldness in her eyes.
“Can we talk?”
She crossed her arms over her chest. “Do you remember the last thing I said to you?”
Um. “Yeah.” Though it hadn’t been pleasant.
“Repeat it for me.”
“Come on, Indy. I just want to—”
“Repeat it, Hastie.”
I sighed. “You said, if you walked away, you wouldn’t come back.”
She smiled thinly at me. “And I still stand by that.” Then Indy punctuated that by slamming the door in my face.
I flung myself at the door, banging on it. “Indy! Dammit! Come on, babe. Give me a chance to apologize.” The door shuddered as I punched it in frustration. Son of a bitch! This groveling bullshit? Way more difficult than it looked. I knocked again, harder this time while calling out her name.
Her muffled voice came through the door. “Go away, Hastie.”
“Open the door! We need to talk this out!”
“There’s nothing to talk about!”
“Indy, please.”
“I said, go away!”
“Open the fucking door!” I yelled. Christ, she knew just how to rile me up. But I had to keep myself under control. One wrong word and this would go past the point of return.
There had been hurt in her eyes when she opened the door and saw me. And while I had no idea how to fix it, I knew I never wanted her to look at me like that again. When a few minutes passed and she still didn’t open the door, I reached into my pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. I took a deep drag, hoping it would ease my growing anxiety. When that didn’t help, I slid my phone from my pocket and texted Lucky. She won’t see me.
Ur an idiot.
She slammed the door in my face.
LOL.
I waited for another text with some helpful advice but minutes passed and it still didn’t come. That’s it? No advice???
She doesn’t want 2 c u. What else can u do? Not like u can break into her house or sumthin.
Growling, I stuffed the phone into my pocket again and glared at her house. Indy was in there, avoiding me. I could see the light on in her bedroom, meaning she was probably in there right now. Maybe writing about how she hated me.
Fucking hell, I was desperate now. So desperate that I’d run through glass to reach her.
Wait a minute. I shot a second glance at her window and Lucky’s words flashed in my mind. A slow grin spread across my face before I tossed my cigarette and moved into action.
Love had no boundaries and fuck if I’d let Indy put any between us.
Indy
Glass fell into the room like diamonds. I screamed as a hunched figure straightened. My fear soon transformed into anger as I recognized the broad shoulders as Hastie’s. As soon as he saw me, he started for me. “Indy . . .”
“What the hell is wrong with you?” I cried as I recoiled from his touch. “Are you out of your mind?” Had he really just broken through my window?
“I need to talk to you.” His eyes were set in a determined gaze, gleaming with seriousness and uncoiled power.
“Jesus Christ,” I muttered. Already my heart was rattling against my ribs, desperate to escape the predator who had hurt me before. In an act of self-preservation, I stormed out of my bedroom, heading down the stairs towards the front door. I needed to get away from the glass and, more importantly, from the man in there.
Hastie followed me, his long legs easily covering the distance. As he approached, I swung open the front door and held it open for him, uttering one word. “Leave.”
His eyes were pained. “Indy, please . . .”
I kept my gaze off his, not allowing myself to feel his pain. The first wound had barely healed and here he was again, looking for round two. “I don’t want you here.” I needed to fix myself up first before I could face him again.
“I hurt you. And I regret it. But just hear me out. I—”
“I meant what I said when I told you I wouldn’t come back to you, Hastie. Leave.” My voice broke as my heart splintered. “I can’t see you again.”
TWENTY
Your Last Name
Hastie
The next day, my phone chimed. I read the text from Lucky. So how’d it go?
Fuck you.
Not well then.
I didn’t respond. A few minutes later, another text came in. Where r u?
Neptune’s. I’d been here since Indy slammed the door in my face.
Comin’.
I looked up from my beer, eyeing Indy as she worked in her short shorts and her tight tank. She was ignoring me at the moment, but she did serve me my drink when I first came into Neptune’s. For some reason, that annoyed me more. She acted like she barely knew me.
I downed the beer as quickly as I could, wanting her to come back to me so I could speak to her again. But she was busy at the other end of the bar, serving up a series of shots for some of the other patrons. I took another hit from my cigarette.
With each passing minute, I was growing more and more desperate to reach her. Seeing her here, in such close proximity to her but not within easy reach, made me grit my teeth down in frustration. Her words from last night hit me again: I can’t see you again.
Too late for that. Now that she was back at Neptune’s, I just needed her to understand the mistake I made and to know how sorry I was for hurting her.
Sounds at the front of the bar caused Indy to look up from her work. Her eyes narrowed with recognition, and I slid my gaze from her to see who she was looking at. I froze at the sight of the man standing in the dive’s doorway. What the fuck was Brennan doing here?
The leader of Ward Three casually walked in as if he had a place here. I immediately stood up, sliding into full soldier mode. The other members of Glory MC who were in Neptune’s did the same, flocking him as he reached the center of the bar. Cool eyes slid over us. “Nice welcome,” Brennan said with a grin.
“You’ve got some balls coming here.”
His shoulders lifted in a shrug. “Just passing through. Thought I’d say hello.” His smile was entirely fake, masked with cruel intent.
I didn’t garner that with a response. I just stared him down, telling him with my eyes that a fight would be exactly what I wanted right now. If he made one wrong move, I wouldn’t hesitate to take him down. He was on Glory property and we allowed no shit to take place here.
Brennan smirked as if he understood. “So how’s Newt?”
I lunged forward to grab him. “Watch it,” Kitt warned in my ear as he pulled me back.
“He’s goading us,” I spat.
“You need to keep your cool.” That was a little hard to do when the man responsible for murdering one of your best friends was standing right in front of you.
Brennan eyed the establishment, watching the others who were examining him like they were taking measurements for a casket. He approached the bar, rapped his knuckles against the bar top and said, “Where’s the service around here? Can’t I get a drink?”
My eyes slid to Indy as she approached him, eyes narrowed with suspicion. My body immediately grew tense. “You need to leave,” Indy said calmly.
Brennan laughed at the rejection. “And you must be Indy.”
Her body turned rigid as he spoke her name. I moved in, watching the exchange and wondering what the hell the bastard was up to. How did he know her? Brennan felt my presence behind him and turned, grinning an annoying smile. “Ah, there’s lover boy,” he said when he
saw me. “So you are Hastie’s ol’ lady.” He winked at Indy as a growl ripped from my throat.
If I thought that Indy looked at me with hatred in her eyes the last time I saw her, it paled in comparison now. She was looking at Brennan as if she wanted to break him apart with her bare hands.
“How’s he treating you, love?” Indy kept her mouth shut, refusing to give in to his goading. She was handling this better than I was at the moment. “Aw, trouble in paradise?” Brennan tsked. “Did he find out about your big secret?”
At that, Indy’s eyes grew wide before sliding into a red haze that looked downright murderous. If looks could kill, there would only be pieces of barbequed Brennan left.
I grabbed Brennan by the collar of his leather jacket and hauled him up to my face. “Get the fuck out. I won’t tell you again.”
Brennan laughed. “You don’t have a clue, do you? Your ol’ lady hasn’t told you?”
What the hell was he talking about? I slid my gaze to meet Indy’s. Her face was pale, her lips white. Fear froze her in place.
“Ask her her last name,” Brennan instructed.
I released him roughly, not enjoying the fact that he knew something I clearly didn’t. Brennan stumbled but righted himself, smoothing out his jacket. “Beaumont,” he said. “Ring a bell?”
Beaumont? The only Beaumonts I knew of were of a small family. A woman and a man who had a daughter. Hell if I knew what happened to them. The flares had caused many families to uproot themselves and find another home. Either that, or they had been one of the lucky ones to die during the first flares.
Brennan chuckled at my clear bafflement. “What, got nothing to say? Do I need to take this little lady here and add her to my growing collection?”
“Don’t touch her,” I snarled.
“You weren’t looking to save the other girl when I offered her to you last time though.”
No. But I hadn’t forgotten about Tansy. “Where is she now?”
Brennan shook his head. “You had your chance. You should’ve taken it then.”