by Ranae Rose
The police officers finally moved from where it seemed they’d been standing for hours. “Ms. Harlow, we’re going to leave now. We may come back tomorrow if we have any more questions.”
“Tomorrow?” Sasha asked as they left. “So you have to stay overnight?”
The nurse cut in then and said that yes, she did. Most of what she said was a spiel that had to do with Kerry’s head injury. It reminded her of Grey’s jiu-jitsu concussion, and for a split, fleeting second, she felt like she was back in Riley County.
The nurse didn’t stay forever, though. Eventually, she left Kerry alone with Sasha and Grey.
The bedsheets felt like sandpaper against her skin, and she felt awkward in her gown, awkward in her own skin.
“Kerry…” Sasha sat down on the side of the bed. “Is it true that your ex-husband did this to you? Why didn’t you tell us that you had an ex-husband? We’ve been best friends for years! I don’t know how you kept a secret like that for so long.”
Kerry’s feelings of discomfort intensified. The air in the room felt heavy with all the things she’d left unsaid for so long, things she had no choice but to say now. The nurse had given her a pain reliever and it loosened her tongue a little. She was grateful for it, because otherwise, she had a feeling she wouldn’t have been able to force her confession out.
“Riley County was supposed to be my fresh start, my new life,” she said. “I didn’t want anyone to know that I got married to a loser like Brad when I was 18. It was embarrassing, and I was afraid that if I breathed a word to anyone, he’d find out somehow. It had to be my secret.”
“I wouldn’t have told anyone,” Sasha said. “It could’ve been our secret.”
Sasha’s words slipped between Kerry’s ribs and filled her heart with doubt. Could she have shared her secret with Sasha? Should she have?
Maybe she should’ve swallowed her own pride and trusted her. It might’ve been nice not to be the only one in on her secret.
“Well, now you know,” was all she could say.
Sasha made a bigger deal out of Kerry’s injuries than they really warranted, and eventually, she asked when the last time Kerry had eaten was, and whether she wanted her to go out and pick up some food.
Kerry recognized the opportunity Sasha was giving her to be alone with Grey, and while she longed for it, she also dreaded it. In the end, she said that yes, she’d like some dinner.
And then Sasha was gone, and Kerry’s heart was racing.
* * * * *
It was a sweet relief to see Kerry sitting up in bed, talking. At the same time, it was agony to think of what had happened to her in the past 24 hours.
“I can’t believe this happened,” Grey said, standing now where Sasha had been, at the very edge of Kerry’s bed. “And I especially can’t believe that I was at work all day without a clue while you were going through all this.”
“I wish I could be as surprised as you,” Kerry said. “I’ve been dreading something like this for the past three years. Part of the reason I didn’t tell anybody about Brad is because I knew they’d think I was paranoid. But I knew I wasn’t, and that was the worst part: knowing I was the only one who understood how insane he really is.”
She stared down at her sheets as she spoke. “It was always like that.”
“No one believed you?” Grey asked, sinking down onto the edge of the bed, careful not to bump her.
She shook her head, almost laughed. “He started acting crazy as soon as we got married. Before that he was jealous and controlling, but he didn’t hit me.” She shrugged. “I thought all men were like that. Anyway, when it got so bad I couldn’t take it anymore, I finally realized it was only going to keep getting worse. I agonized over it and finally made up my mind to make a big confession to my parents.
“I thought it would be this big, pivotal moment when everything would change. But my mom just said that ‘all marriages have rough patches’ and that I ‘just had to get through the newlywed years and figure out how to keep my husband happy’.”
Grey’s gut balled up. It felt like a tangle of barbed wire inside him. His head ached with the pounding rush of blood that anger brought. He could feel the stitches at his temple, itching.
Had it really only been a week ago that they’d been dealing with his little jiu-jitsu injury? It seemed far away and almost funny now.
“What about your dad?” he asked. She’d gotten out of her abusive marriage eventually. Hadn’t anyone helped her?
“He was even worse. He told me I was a woman now that I was married, and I couldn’t whine about things like a little girl, expecting them to fix it. He said I was Brad’s responsibility, and keeping Brad happy was my responsibility. I don’t think he or my mom believed me at first, about how rough he was with me. And I couldn’t tell them the worst details. It was too humiliating.”
“But you moved back in with them eventually?”
She shrugged. “It took me almost a year to build my nerve up again after my confession turned out to be such a bust. But I did, and I basically showed up on their doorstep and refused to leave. They let me stay, but they didn’t like it. And then, when Brad started stalking me, showing up and doing crazy things, making threats against my whole family, they didn’t want me around anymore. By the time I left for North Carolina, I’d more than worn out my welcome.”
Grey tasted blood in his mouth, though he couldn’t remember biting his lip. “What shitty parents. My dad beat my mom, and eventually she left him. But I don’t think she would’ve done it – I don’t think she could have – if it hadn’t been for my grandparents. They took her in and helped her get back on her feet. Her and me. They were great.”
Kerry finally met his eyes. Hers were wide and seemed darker than ever. “Did he leave you two alone after that?”
“Yeah. I haven’t heard from him since I was 9.”
Kerry frowned.
Grey couldn’t stand not touching her anymore. He reached out and took her unhurt hand. It looked like a tiny doll’s hand in comparison to her other one, which was twice as thick as usual, thanks to the bandages it was wrapped in.
“I wish Brad would leave me alone,” she said, looking toward the window, “but I know he won’t.”
The barbed wire in Grey’s gut got even sharper. “The point is that he’s done something he can be locked away for. The police will catch him.”
She shrugged. “It’s his word against mine though, isn’t it? It’s not like anyone saw what he did. He’ll probably say I went with him willingly to go back to Kentucky.”
“You’re injured,” Grey pointed out, not liking the direction her thoughts were going in.
She shrugged again. “He injured me plenty of times before. When people asked – and they usually didn’t – he’d make up some lame story about an accident, and they’d believe him. Every time.”
“Kerry. Come on. We’re not talking about some good ol’ boys back in coal mining country. We’re talking about him being prosecuted in a court of law.”
She met his eyes again, and he saw that hers were shining. “My own parents didn’t believe me! I doubt anyone else will, even in court. Domestic crimes get swept under the rug all the time.”
“It wasn’t a domestic crime.” Grey heard the hard edge to his own voice, but didn’t know how to soften it. “You’re not his wife. You hadn’t even seen him in years. He kidnapped you like some sort of asshole movie villain! He’s not going to get away with it.”
“You don’t know that. I wish I could believe it, but I can’t afford to get my hopes up. I’ll probably be dealing with this until one of us drops dead someday – me or Brad.”
“Don’t say that.” Grey’s voice was harder than ever now. “If by some miniscule chance he’s not put behind bars for this, I’ll kill him myself.”
“Don’t talk like that, Grey. He’s already seen you. He yelled at me about you! You need to stay away from him!”
Grey stood, so mad he was shaking. He co
uldn’t help it. “No! No, I won’t.”
He stared at Kerry’s bandages, and he thought of his mom’s face too, always bruised or black-eyed for no reason, for so many years. And he remembered the paralyzing, all-consuming fear that’d ruled his early life. And what it felt like to be beaten for nothing at all.
And he thought of how many times he’d been told to stay out of the way, to not make his father mad. And how it had never worked.
People like Bradley Sawyer fed off that kind of fear, off of people bending and cowing and rushing to indulge their every whim, arranging their every action around the desperate hope to not get hit again.
For him, all that was decades in the past and had been deeply buried, until now. Now, the anger was fresh and he had to imagine what it would feel like to be 27 years old and still be living with what for him had been a child’s fear, a child’s hell. He couldn’t stand to see Kerry go through it. Most of all, he couldn’t stand to see her so resigned, so sure that this was her lot in life.
“There may be some people who are cowardly enough to ignore this sort of thing,” he said, “but I’m not one of them. I’m not going to watch you act like this is your life, like it’s not going to end. Because it is.”
“How can I be sure, though?” She still held his gaze. “I hit him back, Grey. For the first time. I thought it would be enough to get away, but it wasn’t. So I picked up a handful of broken glass and smashed it into his face. And after all that, he just drove away. He’s still out there.”
Grey’s stomach dropped as a single tear slid from one of Kerry’s eyes. She looked so defeated, so lost and lonely. He hated to see it.
He sat back down on the edge of the bed and put his arms around her, as carefully as he could. “He won’t be for long. And until then, you’ve still got me. And Sasha. She threw a temper tantrum when I tried to get her to stay home.”
“She’s a lot braver than me,” Kerry said. “And I’m not just talking about her choice in swimwear. She fought off a convicted murderer with a kitchen knife. And I could barely get away from my own ex-husband! I wish I was more like her.”
Grey sucked in a breath and tried not to laugh. “As someone who just spent the past six hours alone with her in a car, I’m glad you’re you.”
Of course, Sasha reappeared at that very moment. “No offence Grey,” she said, swanning into the room with her arms full of fast food bags and cups, “but the feeling is mutual – I’d take Henry over you any day.”
Kerry trembled against Grey, and he experienced a split second of panic before he realized she was laughing.
A surge of relief hit him as Sasha plunked two bags down on the bedside table. “There were only two places open this time of night,” she said. “Kerry, I got you a salad with grilled chicken because I know how you feel about anything that’s been fried or slapped on a bun. Grey, I got you a hamburger and fries with a milkshake – an adult version of the kids’ meal, basically. I thought you’d like that.”
Grey rose from the bed and shot her a sideways look. “You think I got this body by binging on burgers and milkshakes?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know how you do it, I just know I’ve seen you eat. The shake is chocolate, by the way.”
He was starving, and secretly glad that Sasha had brought him so much food. But he wasn’t about to admit that to her. “I guess if I made it through your driving without suffering a heart attack, I’ll make it through this meal.”
He tried taking a sip of the milkshake but quickly resolved to wait until it’d melted a little. It was the consistency of wet cement, and there was no dignified way to consume it – the slurping sounds were bad enough to wake the entire hospital. Sasha, of course, hadn’t brought him a spoon.
“You’re welcome,” she said, settling into a visitor’s chair with a chicken sandwich, “for the driving help and the food.”
Grey unpackaged the food she’d brought, lifting Kerry’s salad from its bag and unwrapping the plastic utensils that’d come with it. He put a straw in what Sasha said was unsweetened iced tea too, but when he turned to Kerry, she was lying curled on the thin hospital pillow, her eyes closed.
“Let her sleep,” Sasha said, “I’ll ask the nurses if there’s a fridge I can put the salad in.”
Grey settled into the only other chair, which was directly beside Sasha’s, and pulled a fry out of the greasy bag she’d brought him. “This has been one of the weirdest fucking days of my life.”
“This whole summer has been like one long episode of The Twilight Zone. I didn’t think anything could surprise me anymore, but when I found out that Kerry had been married…” Sasha shook her head. “Don’t get me wrong, I love her, but I always thought she just naturally fell a little on the prudish side. It never occurred to me that she was keeping secrets.”
Grey didn’t say anything – it felt like any comment or speculation would’ve been a betrayal, somehow, of Kerry’s trust.
“I wish she’d trusted me,” Sasha said. “I hate to think of her going through all this alone, for three whole years. I wonder if there’s anything else we don’t know.”
CHAPTER 19
When Kerry woke up, for a split second, she couldn’t make any sense of what she was looking at. Grey and Sasha sat slumped in two chairs against an off-white wall, clearly asleep. Grey’s head rested against a table on wheels, and Sasha had stuck one of her elbows in his side, which looked painful.
He clearly hadn’t noticed.
It was a bizarre scene, until the texture of hospital sheets and the pressure of bandages against Kerry’s hand, arm and head registered. Then she remembered where she was and why and what Grey and Sasha were doing there. Immediately, the tension sleep had banished rushed back, making her stomach cramp.
She experienced a mild sense of panic as she looked at Grey and Sasha. They knew everything now, and they were still here. Orange light was splintering in through the closed blinds, announcing that the sun was rising – they’d stayed all night. Kerry felt humbled and grateful and guilty all at once.
They were both supposed to be at work today – so was she, for that matter – and here they all were, somewhere in West Virginia, crowded into a hospital room.
The nursing staff must’ve been trained in ESP, because Kerry had been awake for less than a minute when a nurse strolled in.
The door creaked faintly on its hinges, causing Grey to jerk and open his eyes. Sasha woke up a second later, when he pushed her elbow out of his side.
“What are you doing?” Sasha hissed, narrowing her eyes at him.
Grey pointed down at the chair arms between them. “You were on my side.”
“Oh, grow up.” Sasha scowled.
“Guess you’re not a morning person,” Grey said.
“Guess you need to brush your teeth!”
The nurse rolled her eyes in their direction. “You know, those chairs aren’t bolted to the floor – one of you could sit on the other side of the room.”
Sasha and Grey both shut up. Sasha still looked annoyed, but Grey… He was looking toward Kerry, his gaze locking with hers.
She felt a sudden wave of warmth, a happiness that put cracks in her guilty conscience. She was glad to have him there, no matter how much he and Sasha bickered, or how bad his breath smelled. She was glad to have them both – almost unbearably so. She’d never had anyone like them back in Kentucky.
She’d finally found the kind of people she’d longed for all her life, and she could hardly believe they were real. But her mistakes had followed her across state lines, and now, her heart broke when she considered that her past might hurt them too.
She couldn’t let that happen.
* * * * *
The sun seemed unbearably bright when Kerry walked out of the hospital with Grey and Sasha by her side. Sunglasses would’ve been nice, but hers were back in North Carolina, in the glove box of her wrecked car.
“You okay?” Grey asked. He was holding her good hand.
&nb
sp; “Yeah. It’s just bright out here, that’s all.”
“We’ll be in the car soon and you can put the sun visors down. We parked in the closest space I could find.”
She was glad to settle into Grey’s car. Sasha insisted that Kerry take the front passenger seat, and Grey insisted on driving – all the way back, he said.
It was just past noon, and Kerry was unbelievably glad to leave Mercer County behind. It was a beautiful place, with steep mountains swathed in the rust and gold of fall foliage, but she felt like she’d been abducted by aliens, left on a strange planet. She just wanted to be home.
Besides, the Appalachian landscape reminded her of Kentucky. One of the things she’d loved about Riley County, from the moment she’d first arrived there, was how different it looked. Flat and warm, with postcard-perfect palm trees and flowers everywhere. She loved it, for its beauty and for its sharp contrast to Eastern Kentucky.
It was a place she’d chosen; it was hers. The sand and sun and palms – even the swamps and scorching summer heat – were physical manifestations of the very first decision she’d ever truly made for herself, without being coerced, manipulated or bullied. Though she’d been 24 when she’d come to Cypress, she couldn’t help but feel that that was when she’d truly become an adult – a woman of her own – no matter what her parents had said.
“The mountains here are gorgeous,” Sasha said as Grey pulled out of the hospital parking lot. “We don’t have leaves like this at home.”
Kerry murmured something in response, agreeing as her mind cycled through the last several hours – seeing the police officers who’d questioned her the day before again, then finally being discharged by the doctor.
The first thing she’d asked the officers was whether Brad had been found yet. He hadn’t, although they’d assured her that they were looking for him, and law enforcement in his home town had been alerted too, in case he showed up there.
That didn’t give Kerry much reassurance. The little coal mining town where Brad lived – where she’d spent the worst years of her life, with him – wasn’t exactly a bastion of justice. The police there were what Grey had described them as: ‘good ol’ boys’. So was Brad. She couldn’t be sure they’d look too hard for him.