by Cindy Mezni
I shook my head and refocused my attention on the deplorable view that New Hell offered. Everything was dilapidated, dull, without light. Everything was destroyed. Dead. The consequence of our existence. It was certainly the same thing in the city housing the vampires and the one housing the lycanthropes, but were some of the human cities in this state, too? Was it similar for the rare people I’d left behind me, the unfortunate day when I’d met Ezekiel? Maybe. After all, the humans were as talented as us for devastation and death.
Despite myself, my eyes went on Ivy again. I smiled slightly. She really made me think of my sister Amber. By her presence, this little and frail creature succeeded in making me find fragments of my human self. The best of the person I’d once been. The human Anya had been smashed to pieces when I’d understood the words Ezekiel had pronounced in Nëphrä and I’d realized I’d become a monster. I’d always believed there was nothing left of Anya, apart from the memories of my former life, and that only Nemesis, the bloodthirsty monster, remained. At this moment, my certainties were shaken. I, who hadn’t stopped saying loud and clear to Nathanael that we were only monsters and that his feelings for me didn’t exist because we weren’t human anymore, began to doubt it. Was it possible that in the rubble caused by the explosion that had struck down Anya when she’d learned the truth about her new nature, there were some fragments to be gathered and that a semblance of humanity could come back to me? What an idiocy! It was obvious that no part of my humanity would reappear. And what would be the use of it anyway? To have a normal relationship with Nathanael? Please, it was utterly ridiculous! The only thing it would cause would be remorse when I killed my prey. And that wasn’t at all in my interest given the lifestyle of a Nëphyr. In spite of myself, the memory of the first killing of a human I’d seen reminded itself to me . . .
A noise woke me from my restless sleep. I jumped with a start and rushed toward a corner of my cell in a purely defensive reflex. Every time Ezekiel came, it was always to hurt me. Between the blows, the weapons and blades he used on me sometimes, and the fights against him or other creatures like us, I suffered numerous horrors. Some time was necessary to acclimate myself to the darkness. Then I noticed the person lying on the ground and Ezekiel who was by his side, kneeling down, his face buried in the crook of his neck. I let out a hiccup of bewilderment. What was he doing to him? I knew we fed on blood but not straight from corpses. I thought we extracted it to drink it later. That, it was . . . disgusting. Totally inhuman. But you’re no longer human, a little voice reminded me curtly. Ezekiel removed his mouth from the throat of his prey and looked in my direction. Some carmine liquid dirtied the corner of his lips and some drops were slowly trickling toward his chin. A shiver of anticipation ran through me, thinking I would also enjoy it soon. I was horribly thirsty and I looked forward to fulfilling this need. A part of me found this desire terrible but another part, a bigger one unfortunately, found it irresistible. Ezekiel got up and took place near the entrance of the cell.
“Feed yourself, Nemesis,” he ordered me with his arms crossed, his position relaxed.
I still wasn’t used to the name he’d given me. Nemesis. Nemesis was the Greek goddess of revenge and because I hadn’t stopped swearing to him that one day I would get mine, he’d judged that naming me like that would be well suited. I’m Anya, not Nemesis, I repeated to myself, my daily rite to not forget the person I really was. I chased away these thoughts from my mind. I had to focus on what was happening here and now and execute the order he’d just given me. I crawled slowly toward the body. You have to do it, I repeated to myself as a litany to not chicken out at the last moment. The man was dead and I wasn’t and, even though the act of drinking his blood at his throat disgusted me, I couldn’t do things differently. I was aware of the punishment awaiting me if I didn’t do what Ezekiel expected from me. I finally found myself near the neck of the man. My new set of teeth, that of the monstrous thing I’d become, appeared. I approached the corpse, ready to bite to drink. And, all of a sudden, I froze. No . . . It wasn’t possible. I looked away from the bloody throat of the man to look at Ezekiel. He hadn’t moved an inch but a delighted smile was on his lips now.
“He—I—The man—He’s—” I stuttered, shocked, incapable of formulating my thoughts.
“Alive?” Ezekiel suggested to me, amused. “Yes.”
I stared at me, my eyes wide with horror.
“Oh Lord, it’s—”
In the next second, Ezekiel was strangling me with one hand, and by the only strength of it, he lifted up my whole body. I no longer touched the floor and couldn’t breathe anymore. I dug my nails into the skin of his hand to free myself from his grip. In vain because he was stronger. He observed me with annoyance, his blue eyes beginning to shine as they did every time he got angry.
“I don’t want you to pronounce the words “Lord,” “God,” or “pity” anymore,” he said while brushing my mouth with a finger. “Here, the only people who can help you are yourself . . . or Satan,” he added, mischievous.
And without further ado, he released me. I crashed heavily on the ground. The only positive point of all the treatments which this monster reserved for me was that I was now less sensitive to the pain, even if I would have preferred to remain the fragile woman I’d always been. I got up with difficulty and cast a glance toward the man. He was still breathing, unfortunately. It was terrible to say but I wished so bad for this man to die from his wounds before I had to feed on him.
“You know what, my dear Nemesis? I’m proud of you and the progress you make,” Ezekiel told me like we were making small talk while circling around the body on the floor. “But, you see, even if you learn fast, it’s still too slow for me. This is why, today, we’re going to take it up a notch. You still feed as a vampire but this isn’t the way we feed. We’re Nëphyr, not common blood drinkers. I’m going to make you discover our real nature.”
I stared at him, perplexed. I wasn’t certain to understand where he was going with this.
“You seem lost,” he observed, looking thrilled by my reaction. “Don’t worry, you’ll quickly understand.”
He came toward me, tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and kissed one of my hands. His behavior with me was so fickle I never knew where I stood with him. I didn’t have the opportunity to be amazed by his sweet gestures. He rushed at the man and began to tear him to pieces. Horrified, I witnessed the gruesome and gory scene without reacting. Never had I seen such slaughter! I had the impression of watching a wild and starving creature feeding on the carcass of another animal. And while I believed that it couldn’t be worse, I was proven otherwise. The unconscious man woke up with a start and began to struggle and scream like I’d never heard someone scream before. Unable to bear it anymore, I ran at Ezekiel to stop him, although I was conscious that his victim was already condemned. He had to have planned my intervention because without turning away from what he was doing, he threw his arm back to toss me against the wall. I struck it with violence and had difficulty getting up. Ezekiel found himself in front of me, clearly irritated by my attitude. My attention was caught by the man who was moaning in pain. His body was drenched with blood, some flesh was lacking in certain places and a pool of blood quickly took form on the ground. The image was vile and unbearable. My eyes met that of the man. Suffering and begging for mercy, it was what they expressed. He wanted us to kill him, to put an end to his suffering. I guessed it in the way he looked at me. How could we do that to human beings? How was I supposed to do that, again and again, day after day? I couldn’t! Ezekiel grabbed my hair and forced me to come toward the man. No! I became alarmed and started struggling to escape from Ezekiel’s grip. Once again, to no avail. He forced me to kneel down near the body, in the blood.
“Eat,” he commanded.
“Never!” I yelled in trying to free myself from his hold.
“Listen to his screams,” he told me, knowing perfectly what to say to destabilize me. “Look at him. He’s condemned
anyway. To leave him in this state, to not finish him off, is far worse than killing him and putting an end to his sufferings, don’t you think? You feed, he stops hurting. It’s a win-win for everybody.”
I sent him a murderous look. What he just said was abject.
“I’ll never eat this man!”
Blood I could drink, but that, it was . . . it was too much!
“He’s still alive and you want me . . . to eat him! It’s—”
Ezekiel looked heavenward before coating his hand with the blood on the ground and painted my face with it while I struggled to stop him. It was useless as always.
“Since you don’t want to cooperate, I find myself in the obligation to… how do I formulate this… force you.”
I understood too late how he was going to “force” me to swallow the human flesh. He plunged the hand which wasn’t grabbing my hair into the chest of the man. The human screamed in agony, and, suddenly, silence fell. The man was dead and Ezekiel held his heart in his hand. I wanted to vomit while being unable to regurgitate anything. So I did the only thing of which I was capable in this situation, I cried. I cried tears of black blood. In response, I received a monumental slap. Ezekiel dropped the heart on the ground and forced me to look at him by brutally grabbing my chin.
“None of that with me!” he said, furious. “Swallow your tears now! Tears are for weaklings and humans, not for somebody of our race. And especially not for you. Now eat.”
I shook my head with fervor.
“By all the damned of Hell! Will you eat it?”
“Never—”
His breath increased.
“Fine. You don’t leave me any other choice, then.”
He grabbed the organ again, took a bite of it and placed his mouth on mine before I had time to see it coming. I closed my mouth and tightened my lips as soon as I understood his intentions. I fought as I’d never done before while clenching my teeth. He growled with ferocity when he realized it would be difficult to achieve his goal. I didn’t know how but I succeeded in punching him and made him land on the floor while he tried to put the piece of heart in my mouth. I took advantage of the situation to move as far away as possible from him. He snarled again while getting up slowly. He came toward me as I stayed still, looking quickly for a way to not have to do that. And suddenly, I saw him chewing the piece he had in his mouth and swallowing it. I frowned while gulping with difficulty, lost. He smiled, revealing his bloodstained teeth.
“You definitely never cease to surprise me. You’re even better than what I had first imagined. I can feel it won’t be a restful eternity with you, but I like that.”
“Fuck you!”
His smile widened.
“Do you offer your services?”
I watched him, a look of disgust on my face. I’d rather die than sleep with the reincarnation of the Devil. His expression changed completely. He was deadly serious again.
“On this lighter note, let’s get back to business,” he said in an emotionless tone.
He charged into me and we crashed against the wall. I howled with pain. Something in the wall, a pipe no doubt, had embedded itself in my body. Ezekiel took two steps backward and brought me back to him with brutality. In a new shout, the unknown object was extracted. He spun me around and forced me to kneel down in front of the heart.
“No!” I said. “Let go of me! No!”
“No!” I screamed with vehemence while raising my hand, getting ready to strike Ezekiel.
At the last moment, I stopped. I blinked a few times when I saw the little girl in front of me. I’d been so taken by the memory that I’d imprisoned myself inside the scene and relived it with the Illusionaë. Ivy who I’d almost hit—killed would be more exact—was standing in front of me, one of her small hands held out in my direction. What the Hell was going on? I created illusions without realizing it and became vulnerable. All this because of this damn kid who reminded me of that bastard of Ezekiel.
“What are you doing?” I yelled at her.
The child looked at me with her big and innocent eyes, not shaken at all by my dry intonations. Obviously, she’d seen it all before.
“What do you want?” I asked, lowering my voice this time.
She didn’t answer. This girl was starting to get on my nerves. All of a sudden, she tried to take my hand. The following second, I was at more than three meters away from her to prevent her from doing it again. It was out of the question for her to touch me. Her presence in the same room as me had caused enough problems as it was. This kid was a real poison for my race. For me in particular. She hadn’t been here for a day and she was already revealing my flaws and the tiny part of humanity which was still buried deep inside me. And I refused it. Because I couldn’t allow myself to be weak. To be human. My mental health was at risk and I didn’t want to become totally crazy. And my survival was at stake too. If I found some humanity again, and my people discovered it, they wouldn’t hesitate to act accordingly. In other words, they’d kill me. So my decision was made; I had to get rid of this child as quickly as possible. I just had to figure out how.
9
Interview with a Mortal
“Any problem with the humans?” I asked when I arrived on the eighth floor, at the entrance of the corridor leading to the rooms of our mortal guests, where Edenaï had stood guard since yesterday.
The previous evening, the humans and the child, had been moved here to avoid them staying more than a few hours in the basement. Because, as expected, the rumor of their presence had spread despite my precautions to keep it a secret. Nëphyr were on watch, ready to grab the humans as soon as the guards would give them the opportunity.
“I hate them, except when they’re dead or I eat them,” she answered, surly. “When they’re alive, they move, insult, have no respect, and are oozing fear. Without forgetting that they complain all the time. These idiots make me hungry. Because of them, I’m worked up.”
I stared at her, one eyebrow raised. The humans were apparently not the only ones to complain. And she obviously hadn’t understood the meaning of my question.
“I wanted to know if any Nëphyr had tried to come here and get their hands on the humans, not to know how your day had gone.”
“Nobody in sight,” she said with a sigh. “But I’d rather see somebody trying something. At least, it would take my mind off my boredom.”
I looked at her with fury in my eyes. She better be careful about what she wished for.
“I don’t want a single wound, not even a scratch on them,” I warned her, deadly serious. “Because, if that happens, the culprit wouldn’t be the only one to face the consequences.”
“Gotcha,” she said right away. “Nothing will happen to them.”
“I hope so, Edenaï.”
She merely nodded, but I read in her eyes she’d gotten the message.
“And where’s Xander?” I asked, looking around us.
The corridor in which the rooms of the humans were was empty, apart from Edenaï and I. Where the Devil was the Reaper when we needed him? I’d asked him to guard the floor with Edenaï.
“You ask for me, Majesty, I come running,” Xander said as he showed up out of nowhere.
I turned around to see him coming in our direction. He was all smiles.
“Where were you?”
“Here.”
“Here?” I repeated with skepticism. “Then you must have discovered yourself a gift of invisibility because I didn’t see you until now.”
“Even though it’s not in my nature, I also know how to be discreet when required. Believe me, Majesty, I’m full of surprises. And I’m more than ready to reveal some of them to you if you want,” he concluded, offering me a charming smile.
I rolled my eyes, even if a part of me appreciated his perpetual advances. Xander was more than a good catch, physically speaking. And he knew how to be entertaining. Maybe I should give him a chance. But not right now. There were more urgent things.
�
��I skip my turn,” I answered with amusement. “But offer your services to Edenaï, she may be interested.”
Edenaï’s answer came quickly.
“May Satan stop me from falling for your charms, Reaper,” she said with a perceptible aversion. “The barbarians of your kind, not on your life.”
“You know what they say: barbarians make the best lovers.”
“It’s a proverb from who? Xander the Reaper?” Edenaï said, scornful.
Leaving them to their verbal contest, I turned around and headed for the room of the only human being who interested me here, the leader of the group. If somebody had the answers to my interrogations about their coming here and on their knowledge regarding New Hell, it was him.
“Will you stay here much longer?” the man asked, more than irritated.
Casually leaning against the bar in which were numerous bottles of which I’d ignored the existence of until now, I sipped a good glass of alcohol. A glass of vodka, to be more precise. And I had to admit that the one who’d brought this vodka here had had a wonderful idea.
“So? When will you leave?” he continued, getting more and more furious. “I’d like to be left alone!”
And people said I had a nasty temper. So far, when it came to personality, the humans I’d met lately beat me hands down. And they had some gall—especially their leader whom I had in front of me.
“For my part, I’d like you to speak or better, I’d like to tear your throat apart. But we can’t always get what we want,” I retorted in a conversational tone.
He watched me with disgust. If we couldn’t joke anymore . . .
“Well,” I began, tired by his stubbornness to remain silent on the subject which interested me most, “I’m going to repeat my question one last time: why did you come here?”
Unsurprisingly, he remained mute. I sighed. I had to find another way to make him talk.