by Aileen Adams
“You do, which is why you were running away from me without saying goodbye. Don’t pretend you don’t know why I’d come for you.”
Her face seemed to crumble with emotion, but it did little to weaken her resolve. “But… I have to go. I have no choice, Derek. Don’t you see that?”
“No. I see no such thing. I only see that I need to speak to you, but I won’t yell across the water at you. All I ask is that you take a minute to listen to what I have to say before you do this.”
The old sailor leaned forward, closer to Margery. “The ship’s leaving in a short while, lass. They won’t leave without me, but they have a timetable to keep, and I won’t be the reason they’re late.”
She nodded without looking at him, eyes trained on Derek at all times. What was she going to decide? She couldn’t ask the old man to continue on to the ship—but if she did, he was ready to dive into the choppy sea and swim after her, if that was what it took.
He wouldn’t simply allow her to leave him.
Her eyes cut to the side, toward the sailor. “I understand. Please, row me back. I won’t take long.”
He waited with his heart in his throat as the boat returned to the dock and held a hand out to haul her up the ladder, unable to wait for her to climb it herself. There was no time to waste.
“What is this, then? What are you trying to do by following me here?” she asked, smoothing down her tunic, clearly incensed.
“Why do you have to ask? Don’t you know?”
“You want to know what I know?” Her eyes narrowed. “I know that I still have a responsibility to my sister. I know she’s waiting for me. If I can’t build something for myself here, I’ll find someplace else.”
“Edinburgh?” he spat.
“Why not?” she challenged.
“You think that will be any easier than this place?”
“I’m not asking for easier. I’m asking for anywhere but here. Where I won’t have to see him, ever again. Where I won’t have to be in that room and remember what happened. There’s nothing to keep me here, now that you’re leaving.”
Her eyes went wide, as though she were surprised at her own words. She couldn’t take them back, and he would never forget them. They were like a key he need only turn to open her heart fully.
He took a step closer. She didn’t back away.
He dipped his head lower, just slightly, just so he could lower his voice and say the sort of thing a man didn’t like to shout at a woman, especially not in the middle of a crowded harbor.
“Margery, don’t you know I love you?”
Her mouth fell open, nothing coming out but a sigh. Her eyes glowed, her cheeks pinkened.
“And as far as I’m concerned, the two of us belong together. You’re mine, under my protection, and I would offer you that protection until my dying day. If you’ll allow it, sweet lass, I’ll take you as my wife.” He reached for her, running a hand over her cheek, taking in the softness and smoothness of the woman he loved.
He expected her to accept him—or to at least express surprise at the suddenness of his intentions. What he should’ve expected was for her to argue him, which she did.
“Marry you? What about Beatrice? I can’t desert her.” As she had before, however, she leaned her face against his palm with her eyes half-closed. Her body was betraying her, showing him what she truly wanted.
“Once you’re under my protection, so is she,” he assured her. “I would never desert her, as you put it, when I know how much she means to you. This means she’s important to me, as well.”
“Truly?”
“I wouldn’t speak the words if I didn’t mean them. That’s one thing you can always be assured of, lass. My word means everything to me, and I don’t break it lightly. Which means I don’t take my offer of marriage lightly, either. It hasn’t been made in vain, just to keep you here with me. I intend to make a life for us, if you’ll only accept me.”
She smiled, eyes sparkling with tears. “I do love you,” she whispered. “As for marriage—”
“I understand,” he interrupted. “I have little in the way of security to offer right now, with my affairs still untidy. But I promise to build a life. I mean that. I’ll find a way to give you everything in life you deserve. You’ll never have to debase yourself ever again, nor scramble for your living. And you will never have to spend a sleepless night.”
He’d noticed the deep circles under her eyes and knew she hadn’t gotten a minute’s sleep after he’d left her. Not that he’d expected her to.
“Oh, Derek, it sounds so wonderful…”
His heart took flight at this, and at the wistful tone in her voice. “So, say yes.”
“I only wish I knew for certain, for my sister’s sake…”
Her hands were so small in his, so fragile—but strong, just the same. She had worked so hard, for so long, to ensure the well-being of those around her.
“Will you ever choose to do what sounds wonderful to you? Not for the sake of anyone else, but just for yourself?”
She blinked hard, her eyelids fluttering. “I—I’ve never considered it.”
Naturally. The girl had spent her entire life doing for others, worrying over others, sacrificing, putting the rest of the world first. Perhaps it was simply her nature, or the way she’d been brought up believing that true happiness wasn’t for the living but for the life after this one.
“I believe this is the time for you to begin doing just that.” He pulled her closer, still holding her hands, as though he could will her to take his strength. If it would have helped make her decision easier, he would’ve given it to her.
He would’ve given her anything, so long as he knew it would allow her to accept him with an open heart, with no hesitation.
“Just for myself?”
“Just for yourself,” he repeated, drinking in the sight of her lovely face like it was water to a man dying of thirst. Knowing she loved him as he loved her made her infinitely more precious, every part of her.
“I could do that,” she whispered, as though she were giving herself permission. “Yes. I could do that.”
“Will you, then? Will you stay?”
She swallowed hard, the pulse throbbing in her throat. His heart raced just as swiftly as hers.
“Yes.” She laughed. “Yes, I’ll stay. With you.”
He was certain his chest would explode as he threw his arms around her waist, lifting her from her feet and turning in a circle as she giggled helplessly.
“I love you, you stubborn lass,” he declared, placing her back on her feet before gathering her in his arms for a kiss. It wasn’t the proper thing to do, not with so many eyes possibly watching them, but nothing could’ve stopped him.
“I suppose this means you won’t be coming with us, then?”
Margery gasped, covering her blushing face with her hands for a moment before shaking her head, looking down at the old sailor who still waited in the boat.
“No. I won’t be,” she confirmed, leaning ever so slightly against Derek.
“I didn’t think so.” He grinned, touching his oars to the water. “No, I didn’t think you would.”
24
“I insist, I insist. Keep it. It’s the least I can do.”
Margery clutched the coins in her closed fist. It would be so easy to take the money Hamish offered in spite of her not leaving for Edinburgh. She could send it to Beatrice, somehow—they hadn’t quite worked out that part of the plan, had they?
She would no longer have to worry over how to fulfill her promise.
And Hamish was so insistent she take it.
But that wouldn’t be right.
She shook her head. “You deserve to keep your own money.”
Derek stepped in. “In the interest of leaving before too much of the day has passed, might I offer a compromise?”
Within twenty minutes, she sat astride a horse of her own, while Hamish accepted what was left of the money. “You’ll be all r
ight up there?”
She patted the neck of the pretty little gray mare, noticing how her hand shook.
“Don’t let the horse know you’re afraid of it,” Derek advised.
“I’m not afraid.”
“Don’t tell me. Tell the horse.” He chuckled.
“I’m not afraid,” she repeated, shooting him a withering glance.
“Good, because you’ll be spending days on the back of that mare,” he reminded her with a grin. “You had the choice of riding behind me, if you recall.”
“I do. But…”
“I know. You wouldn’t feel comfortable.”
He wasn’t teasing, which was a relief. The very thought of being so close to him, her body pressed against his with her arms around his waist for hours at a time, had been both too terrifying and intoxicating to be proper.
Once more she thanked Hamish, who seemed much more pleased than he’d been when she was running away, before following Derek out to the wide street between the village and the harbor.
Hamish wasn’t the only one pleased with the turn the day had taken. More than knowing Derek loved and wanted to marry her was the knowledge that she hadn’t felt quite right in leaving for Edinburgh. She hadn’t truly wanted to.
She’d been in the act of running away from something, when with Derek, she was running toward something. Or, rather, riding.
“All right, girl,” she whispered, confident that she could get away with speaking to the mare when Derek was in front of them. “We can do this together, can’t we? I’m certain of it. We’re going to be good friends.”
It was such a heady feeling, being so far above those who walked along the street, wearing nothing on her legs but stockings which allowed her to ride comfortably. She felt… surprisingly free.
Thanks to him.
She took a moment from focusing on the movement of the horse and focused on him.
He was magnificent, everything a woman could ever dream of in the depths of her heart. She’d never allowed herself to indulge in fantasies of men, even the most innocent ones.
Even so, she’d held on to dreams and wishes and secret prayers which no one had ever heard of. Dreams of a strong man, an honest and good man who would love and protect her.
Derek McInnis would never complain about her to his friends at the tavern. He’d never make a joke of the way she cooked or the way she cleaned house. He wasn’t the type to drink away his wages, leaving her with nothing.
He was a real man. Just the sight of his broad back and shoulders, the sunlight bringing out bits of red in his hair she’d never noticed before, made her heart beat a little faster and gooseflesh prickle the back of her neck.
And he was her man. Hers. Pride was a sin, but she couldn’t help the rush of it when she looked on his glorious form. He rode straight in the saddle, in command of both his horse and himself. His head was high, his chin raised, confidence in every line of his body.
He looked over his shoulder, a roguish smile playing across his handsome features. “How are you faring back there?”
“Wonderfully.” She smiled in reply. “This is much easier than I’d expected.” Not that she hadn’t ridden a horse in the past, but she hadn’t exactly made a habit of it. Most of her travel was done on foot, their horse needed for work around the farm.
His laughter was warm and lovely, even if it was clearly at her expense. “We’ve not yet begun. But worry not. I have faith in you.”
“Thank you.”
“I hope you’ve got a high tolerance for saddle sores.” He laughed louder than ever. “Broc can tell you all about his.”
She gasped in surprise and more than just a little disgust. “I have no desire to discuss such things with him, if you don’t mind.”
“Suit yourself.” He had a nice sense of humor, another quality she admired. Life had been so dour, so cheerless before meeting him. She felt herself lightening, as though layer upon layer of waterlogged cloth were being peeled back and allowing her to breathe and move more freely.
Once they reached the outskirts of the village, where the buildings weren’t so close together, and there was room for budding trees and tiny blades of grass only just beginning to poke their tips out from the dark, rich soil, she could look over her shoulder and bid goodbye to a place which had taught her quite a lot in a short stretch of time.
Not only about the world, but about herself. What she was capable of. What she could withstand and what was simply too much. Lessons a person couldn’t forget once they’d learned them.
She couldn’t have bought such learning at any cost; and no price would’ve been sufficient. That would have to be enough.
Derek fell back so the two of them could ride abreast on the much quieter stretch of road.
“I believe this is roughly where Sarah and Heather grew up,” he explained.
“And they are…?”
He chuckled. “Of course. You don’t know anything about the people we’re going to meet.”
“No, we haven’t had much time to discuss these things,” she agreed.
“First, we’re going to meet up with my twin brother, Hugh.”
“You have a twin?” She could hardly imagine there being two of them. One was more than enough.
He reined his horse in, coming to a stop. “In fact, I thought he would be here. Or at least nearby. Broc, too.”
Margery looked around. To her right, in the distance, was the sharp drop-off of a cliff which overlooked the Firth of Forth. Her heart thrilled at the beauty, the sheer power and majesty of what the villagers likely took for granted.
The morning sunlight turned the water to gold which flashed and sparkled with every little wave—and even farther out, she noticed, the retreating masts of the ship on which she would’ve sailed had Derek not caught up to her in time.
She sat there on her mare, imagining what she would’ve been going through in her mind had life taken a different course, and she had, in fact, stepped foot on that ship.
Derek, meanwhile, rode his gelding up and down the line of spruce trees whose branches were just beginning to bud. He peered into the deeper woods, his forehead wrinkled in a frown.
“What is it?” she whispered.
“I don’t understand why they’re not waiting here,” he murmured. “I don’t like this.”
“What might have happened?”
“Either they left, thinking we weren’t joining them—likely, I suppose—or…”
The snap of a thick twig caught their attention, followed by the rustling of leaves just inside the trees.
Margery’s mare shied away from the sound, ears turning in the direction of the woods while she scrambled back.
Derek shot her a sharp look of warning. “Stay here,” he mouthed, turning toward the woods to face the danger head-on.
How could he do that? Every instinct she possessed screamed at her to get out of there, while his instincts urged him on. Was it all men who were like this, or only him?
She realized at the last second that he was unarmed and opened her mouth to cry out to him, her hand shifting down to the pack tied across her body and hanging down over her back. Hamish’s knife was still there. Did she have time to get it to Derek?
No, because he was already off his horse, tying the reins around the nearest tree limb before stepping cautiously toward the offending noise.
“Who goes there?” he called out, his already rich voice deepening with grave intensity.
“It’s I, you idiot.” Out stepped a man who, on first glance, could have been Derek’s mirror image.
Derek’s shoulders sagged. “What do you think you’re doing, hiding in there?”
“Just wanted to give you a bit of a fright before setting out.” The man chuckled.
Margery realized she must be looking at Derek’s twin, Hugh.
Hugh shoved Derek, but good-naturedly. “And now you know just a small bit of what I went through when you didn’t return as you’d promised, brother.”
“Aye,” Derek sighed, running both hands through his hair, “but you didn’t have another to be concerned about, as I do.”
Hugh’s smile faded as his gaze landed on Margery, whose heart was still beating a bit faster than usual thanks to the excitement.
He bowed, suddenly quite serious. “My apologies. I thought only to play a trick on my brother but didn’t consider how it might frighten you.”
“Do not worry.” She smiled, even offering a shaky laugh. “I’m only glad you aren’t a threat.”
“Well, that remains to be seen.” He grinned, which drew a series of grumbles from his brother.
“Where are the others?” Derek asked.
“Only a wee bit farther out by now, I would imagine,” Hugh replied with an easy grin. “I’m sure we’ll be able to catch up to them without much effort. Your man Broc isn’t much on a horse, is he?”
Derek chuckled as he swung up on the back of his own animal. “Nay, he’s much more a seaman than a horseman.”
“He’ll learn yet,” Hugh predicted. “Come, then. Let’s set off.”
He retreated into the woods to locate his horse, leaving Derek and Margery to exchange a long look.
“Are you ready?” he asked, and Margery took the deeper meaning behind his question. Was she ready to leave behind everything she’d ever known in favor of a life with him? Whatever that might mean?
She looked behind her once more, off toward the village.
It looked so small from a distance, so unthreatening. The sort of place one could easily forget after passing through. She made the decision then and there to leave her unhappy memories behind, as no one in Kirkcaldy would ever remember her, except maybe Hamish. Why should she remember them?
“Yes. I’m ready,” she decided, and followed Derek on horseback into the woods.
25
“Let the horse go where it knows it needs to go,” Derek advised her as they picked their way through the woods, using an old trail which winter winds had left covered in leaves and needles.