“Mama, hold this!” Hazel yells but doesn’t really show me which handle to grab.
“Here, let's make a mama sandwich.” I squeeze in between Hazel and Nate and laugh the entire time we’re flying a kite and enjoying every last second. It’s moments like these that make me want to say screw going slow.
“Alright, I think it’s time to move onto fishing. What do you think little H?”
“Fishy’s!”
“Let me tell my mom, she’ll want to come to watch.” I quickly peck Nate on the lips and run back to the blanket.
“Come over to the pier, he’s going to teach her how to fish.”
“You know that’s not my thing sweetie. I think I’m going to head out, why don’t you guys come over for dinner on Sunday?”
“We’ll be there.” I kiss her cheek and walk over to Nate and Hazel, so my mom can say goodbye.
“It was lovely to meet you,” he says his goodbyes to my mom and pulls her in for a hug. She gives me a knowing smile over his shoulder but thankfully keeps her mouth closed.
With one hand snuggly in Nate’s warmth and the other holding on tight to Hazel, we make our way to the pier with our fishing gear in tow.
“Mom loves you.”
“She seems pretty great. What’s up with the marriage interrogation?” he chuckles.
“Yeah, ignore that.” I laugh thinking about how different the conversations went from when Mom met Carter to now Nate. He has no hesitation to marriage, at one point he said, “Our wedding,” as in him and me. My mom lit up like the fourth of July. I’m still not certain about why he’s so sure about me, about us.
“Never. I told you in that bar I’d marry you someday.”
“Yeah, yeah,” I argue but feel my heart turn to mush over the declaration.
“I’d like to take you girls out to meet my parents next month if that’s okay with you?”
“You want to introduce us to your parents?” I ask giving him a shy grin. Why does the thought of meeting Nate’s parents excite me when in reality it should terrify me?
“Yeah, I figure it’s about time my two favorite girls meet my family.”
I wait for my self-doubt to set in and force me to say no. But it never shows up, and I chalk it up to starting to feel confident in my relationship with Nate.
“Okay,” I say earning a killer grin from him.
“Great, I’ll set it up. I’ll see if I can get my brother out there, so you can meet him too.” I nod, and when we get to the pier, Hazel’s so excited she’s bouncing around singing about fish.
Nate sets her up with all the bells and whistles including a cute little pink fisherman’s hat covered in fake fish with a matching pink vest. I take my phone out of my beach bag to take a picture and find a sneaky picture on the screen my mom must have taken. It’s one of me, Nate and Hazel holding the kite together smiling so big there’s no mistake we were having a blast.
We look happy.
We look like a family.
I take a picture of Nate and Hazel in their fishing garb as that picture picks away at my brain.
Maybe dreaming of becoming a family isn’t such a bad thing.
Chapter 20
Have you ever spent six hours in the car with a two-year-old? It’s rough, and I’d prefer to never do it again, and I say this knowing we still have to make the trip back.
I’m nervous to meet Nate’s parents. If I were his mom and my single son were bringing home a new girl that had a child after only four months, I’d probably have some serious reservations. Who am I kidding? I was raised by my mom, I’d have a lot of reservations.
Over the past four months, I’ve really grown to care for Nate. I get annoyed with myself because I still feel myself holding back a lot when I want nothing more than to jump into this relationship. Nate’s all in, so what’s holding me back? My brain has other plans, and I’m still trying to work through my fears of seeing a future with someone.
Warmth envelops my hand. “Still nervous?”
“Yes, and don’t tell me I have nothing to worry about.” I glare. “My arguments are valid.”
“If you say so.” He brings my hand to his mouth, tenderly kissing the skin.
It’s the little things with Nate. His attention to detail, his attention to me, his attention to my little girl. Sometimes he seems too good to be true, but I know those are the walls I’ve reinforced around my heart talking. Truth is Nate’s everything I’ve ever wanted in a partner. Every second I’m with him I feel the walls around my heart crumbling, and pretty soon there will be nothing left holding me back.
“She’s a ticking time bomb. I know she’ll wake up any minute and cry for some milk or food,” I chuckle looking at the backseat finding Hazel still peacefully sleeping.
“Well, it’s a good thing we’re just about there.”
Nate pulls the car off the highway, and we enter the town he grew up in. It reminds me of home. The businesses and the way they’re decorated for the Fourth of July catch my eye. Vintage signs and draped red, white, and blue flags adorn the windows of almost every business or home we pass. I’d love to walk downtown while we’re here, there are a few stores I see that I’d love to check out.
After a few turns, we pull up in front of a quaint two-story home. The brick accents add a certain charm and homey vibe to the exterior, along with the cobblestone driveway and flower boxes under the windows. This house belongs in a fairytale.
“When’s your brother coming in?”
“Late this afternoon. Something came up, so he has to catch a direct flight later today.”
“You said he lives in California, right? At least he’ll be able to make it out.”
“He’d never miss a chance to tell all my embarrassing stories. Just remember, only ninety percent of them are true.” He chuckles, “Yeah, he lives in LA with all his fancy ass friends. I feel like it's been forever since I’ve seen him.”
Nate opens his car door and grabs all of our luggage from the trunk. I grab Hazel and her diaper bag in the back seat, her little giggles set me a little more at ease, and I’m excited she’s actually in a good mood after the long drive. I place her on the grass next to the driveway, so she can stretch her little limbs a bit before meeting the parents.
“Are you ladies ready to meet my family?” Nate bends down after placing the bags next to the car and picks up Hazel. “I suppose I can bring the bags in after the introductions are made.” He reaches his hand out for me, and I latch on for dear life.
He doesn’t knock as I’d expect but walks right on in like he owns the place. After a quick shout letting them know we’re here, the whirlwind that’s Nate’s mom is thrust upon us.
His mom introduced as Tracey, pulls me in for a big old hug and squeezes me extra hard. It feels just like a hug from my mom and makes me feel at home. As we pull apart, she stares at my face slightly in awe.
“We have been waiting so long to meet you two! You’re just as gorgeous as Nate told us you’d be.” A blush heats my skin at the compliment. “Speaking of two…” She turns towards her son and sets her gaze on my baby girl.
“Mom, this here is little Miss Hazel. The cutest almost-three-year-old in the whole world.”
“No arguments here. Oh, my word, she’s the most precious thing I’ve ever seen.” Hazel reaches her chubby little arms out and practically jumps into Tracey’s arms. “Come here and meet Judd, Nate’s daddy.”
It’s then that I notice the older man standing back surveying the scene. I’d deny it if Nate ever asked, but his dad is a silver fox. It’s a good indication of what Nate will look like when he’s older and let me tell you, I won’t be disappointed.
“Lexi, this is my husband, Judd. Stop being antisocial and introduce yourself for crying out loud,” she scolds him.
“I’m not being antisocial, it’s just hard to get noticed when you’re around dear.” He kisses her cheek and reaches a finger out for Hazel to grab. “Well aren’t you a cutie.” Judd looks up at me. “It’s nice to
meet you, Lexi, Nate won’t shut the hell up about ya.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Nate laughs as a blush creeps up his face.
We fit in with his family, like really fit in. Hazel’s eating up the attention and I’m surprised to find Nate puffing out his chest when Hazel blows kisses to Judd like a proud dad. I suppose over the past several months they’ve really bonded, Hazel loves him to death, and I know he feels the same way.
When I turn towards Nate, he’s facing his parents with a goofy grin on his face. I feel something shift in my chest, and for the first time, I see how stupid I’ve been to fight it. To fight Nate and letting him into our lives completely.
I’m in love with Nate. The realization hits me like a ton of bricks. His showing rather than telling, treating Hazel like one of his own, how he’s made sure to tell me how beautiful I am every single day since he sat beside me in that booth. The day he declared to be my future husband and changed my life.
I can see it now. The vision is so vivid it’s like I’m on the beach in an ivory lace gown walking down the aisle with Hazel wearing a poufy pink dress next to me. Nate’s at the end of the aisle with tears in his eyes before we devote our lives to each other.
How could I have been so blind to the wonderful man that’s been there so much for me since we’ve met? He’s become my rock, my partner, and I didn’t even see the impact he’s made on my life.
“You okay Lex?” Nate places his arm around my shoulders.
I clear my throat. “Yeah.” The emotion’s evident in my voice.
“Mom, can you watch Hazel for a second?” She shoos us away with her hand, and Nate pulls me through the house, and out the back door.
“What’s going on, you’re freaking me out. Are you uncomfortable? I know my parents can be overwhelming sometimes.”
How do I explain to him everything I’ve just processed? I’m not sure, but I know I need to tell him how I feel. He needs to know I’m just as invested in this relationship as he is. I get a sudden ache in my chest at the thought that Nate has to go another second without knowing how I feel.
“It hit me just now.”
“You’re not making any sense. Are you feeling okay, do you need to lie down?”
I grab his hands and hold them close to my chest. “Nate, you were right all along. I’m so in love with you I can’t think straight. I think I’ve felt this way for a while, but I was too scared to truly let myself feel it.”
He stands there stunned for a second then his hands tangle in my hair and his mouth brushes against mine. It’s not hurried or frantic. It’s deep, soulful, and emotional. There’s so much love in this kiss it makes my toes curl.
“I love you so much, Lex. It’s been so hard to hold back how I feel. You have no idea how happy you’ve just made me. The past four months have been a battle between me and the walls around your heart, I knew I’d win, it was only a matter of time.” He blows me away with one of his dazzling smiles.
“You won,” I whisper.
“I will never hurt you. You are mine, and I will handle you and Hazel with care, always.”
With tears in my eyes, I kiss him chastely on his lips. “Hazel is so lucky to have you. With this next step in our relationship, I have to be clear, Hazel is always with me. You know this. To see myself with someone for the long haul, I need to make sure they’ll be a great dad to her. When I see her going to her first daddy-daughter dance, being consoled because the first boy she has a crush on breaks her heart… It’s you I see Nate. Do you see yourself there too?”
“I’m here babe. I would love nothing more.”
I take a deep breath and release it as more tears fall from my eyes. “This is scary,” I whisper again.
“It doesn’t have to be.”
“I really wish we weren’t at your parents’ house.”
“Christ, you and me both Lex. My cock wants to show you how much we love you.” Nate bends down and kisses me on the forehead before leading me back into the house.
He has no idea how much I’d like that. We’ve held off on anything past making out. I almost feel like it’s PTSD because the last time I jumped into a relationship that was extremely sexual left me pregnant and alone. I’m so ready for it now, and I’ll be damned if I have to wait the three days until we’re home.
We head back into the house and enjoy a nice lunch of sandwiches and potato salad Nate’s mom threw together before we got here. Hazel eats a whole sandwich herself before starting to rub her eyes. I excuse myself to let her take a nap, and Nate shows me his old room where all of our bags are.
I think finding out that Nate’s a closet nerd was the highlight of my day, besides our declarations of course. I glance at the Star Wars posters and comic books neatly stacked on this bookshelf and love seeing a different side I’d never seen before. He tries to play it off, saying it was a phase, but I think his room tells another story as I throw a blanket with a spaceship on it over Hazel.
After I get her to fall asleep, I reflect on my day so far. So much has happened and it’s only the afternoon.
Meeting Nate’s parents has turned me into a blubbering mess as I try to hold back tears at every turn. Seeing them accept my daughter all day has almost been more than my emotions can take. This is what I’ve wanted all along but was too stubborn to dare myself to dream for it.
How did I ever handle everything before Nate?
***
“Your brother just called, he’ll be here in a half hour.” I hear Tracey whisper to Nate through the cracked door.
“I’ll be out soon.” He walks back towards the bed and lies next to me after checking on Hazel sleeping in her pack n’ play.
“Tell me more about your brother. You’ve only told me stories of when you were kids,” I whisper.
“That’s because I haven’t seen much of him in the past few years. He’s wrapped up in the whole Hollywood scene after having big success on his TV show, but my mom told me he’s moving back here because it just ended. One of his costars was recently in a car crash that killed everyone in the car including his wife and son.
I gasp, “Oh my god. I can’t even imagine how hard that’s been on your brother. Were they close?”
“Yeah, they were friends since grade school. Him and two of his buddies worked together on a project that was pretty successful. They didn’t feel right going back to the show after the accident, so they pulled the plug on it.”
“That’s horrible. I really hope he finds something that makes him happy again.”
“Me too. I’m worried about him. I don’t read too much into the tabloids, but it’s been hard not to notice him on the covers stumbling out of bars. He’s spiraling out of control, and I’m hoping seeing him for the next few days and him moving home, helps him get some perspective back on his life. I can’t remember the last time he answered one of my phone calls.”
I place my hand on his arm and give it a squeeze. It must be so hard losing your best friend and knowing his whole family died with him. If anything ever happened to Amanda, I’d be a mess.
“God, I love you.”
“I love you too.” He leans in and brushes his lips over mine, and the sweetness of it doesn’t last long when he grips the back of my neck pulling me closer.
“How big is the shower in your bathroom?”
“Big enough.”
I have to fight a yelp when he pulls me off the bed and into the bathroom. He places something next to me on the counter, and I see it’s Hazel’s baby monitor. He really does think of everything when I can’t remember my own name when his lips are on me.
Nate’s hands slowly work under my thighs, picking me up and placing me on the counter. My breath hitches when he bends his face towards my chest and bites my aching nipple through the fabric of my blouse.
“Shhhh. You don’t want to wake up Hazel,” Nate whispers in my ear.
He slowly releases each individual button on my shirt, then places his hands on my stomach pushing outwards, taking it of
f. His hands on my skin sets me ablaze, and it’s so erotic I don’t know if I’ll be able to put up with this slow torture he’s putting me through.
After another minute of still being mostly clothed, I whip Nate’s shirt over his head and wince when I catch his ear on the neckline.
“Sorry, I just… I need you.”
“I need you too baby. But you have to know, the first time I make love to you will not be in my old bathroom at my parents’ house.”
“Wait, what? Please, Nate,” I beg.
“I’m going to make you feel good with other parts of my body besides my cock. I can’t have you screaming and letting my parents know what we’re doing.”
He rubs his thumb across my clit after finally removing the rest of my clothes, and I have to bite my hand. “What’s the difference? I’m not gonna be able to be quiet either way.”
Nate takes his thumb away making me cry and beg for it back. “There’s one rule right now Lex, be quiet. If you can’t, I’ll stop.”
“That’s not fair,” I whisper with tears in my eyes. I’m so wound up, I’d give anything to get off right now. To show this man how much I love him.
He looks for me with a soft expression before spreading my legs wide and telling me to hold on. With the first swipe of his tongue between my legs, I damn near lose it. I keep my mouth closed like he asked, but when I look down at him and see his tongue swipe the length of me, I can’t hold back.
“Fuck Nate.”
His hand comes up and covers my mouth. My breathing gets harder and harder the more he works my clit. With a stifled scream, I come all over his face. Hard. My vision’s blurred, and I ponder if this is a little slice of heaven.
I feel Nate begin to kiss up my body and a smile curves my lips.
“You don’t have to say thank you,” he jokes.
I smack his shoulder laughing. “You ass.” I expect to find humor in his eyes, but when I look at him, all I see is passion, and just like that, I’m primed and ready all over again.
He helps me off the counter, and I pull him towards the shower. With a quick flip of my wrist, I turn the water on and find the perfect temperature. He resists as I try to pull him into the shower with me.
Fool Me Once Page 11