Jump hard and fast, protect the face, roll through on the other side. On the good arm if possible.
He estimated there was perhaps a two-foot drop to the flowerbeds outside the house, and unless he was unlucky enough to twist an ankle or slit a vein, he was sure he could escape. He tried not to think about what could go wrong, and convinced himself he was owed a little good fortune. He took a deep breath, covered his head as best he could with his good arm and leapt at the full-length plate glass window.
In the movies, the windows would always explode in a satisfying symphony of glass and wood as whichever hero or villain was exiting landed gracefully on the ground, perhaps in glorious slow motion. Billy found out the hard way life didn’t always imitate art. He had pushed off well and hit the window with everything he had. Rather than exit gracefully and land in the soft earth like some John McClane, Rambo or Schwarzenegger, the window stubbornly bounced him back, mangling his nose against the glass. He crumpled to the floor, landing with all his weight on his injured shoulder, screaming out in agony and frustration. All he wanted was one lucky break, one chance to try and survive, and even that had been denied. Rather than break and give him a chance at freedom, the window had knocked the fight right out of him. He waited, moaning softly on the floor and watching as the thing approached him.
“Just relax sir.” It slobbered. “I’ll have that Sniffer right out of you.”
The thing in the Trans Energy suit shuffled into the room towards where Billy lay on the floor. He instinctively moved back, trying to push himself through the wall. He knew he was trapped. The shambling thing knew it too, and reached into its tool belt, casually unhooking the claw hammer.
“Those Snifferblobs live deep,” it slurred, as it shambled past the sofa. “I’ll have to really dig to find it,” It added, testing the weight of the hammer in its hand. Billy dragged himself to his feet, leaning against the window which had so stubbornly refused to break. He could see a bloody smudge where his face had impacted the glass and was reminded of a photograph he had seen of a pigeon that had left a similar pattern when it had flown into a window.
“Please… I have a family…”
“You have a Sniffer. That box of yours will find another dick in time. Don’t you worry.” It said with a shrug. The thing swung the hammer, claw end first at Billy’s face. He heard the distinctive whoosh as it cut through the air inches from his nose. Relying on what had been effective earlier, he swung a kick at the things knee, but the thing saw it coming this time, twisting away out of range. Billy saw his opportunity and charged past the man, this time, willing to push past the two corpses outside if he could only get to the front door. He was free and clear, with open ground between him and the shambling horror behind him.
I’m going to make it.
The thought had barely had time to register when pain exploded through his cheek. He felt his teeth crumble and shatter as the claw end of the hammer took purchase on the inside of his mouth. He was pulled backwards, smashing into the floor half in, half out of the lounge door. He rolled onto his front, crawling desperately as he spat up broken teeth and blood. The hammer was still embedded in his face, its handle dragging across the ground as he crawled on his belly.
The Trans Energy man began to whistle again, but Billy barely heard it. He was concerned only with survival. His one working hand shook as he tried to drag himself out into the hallway and towards the door. The thing shambled to him and put a heavy boot on his back, then flipped him over.
“One day you people will realise I’m only trying to help you,” It said wetly. “Sneaky those Snifferblobs. Sneaky, sneaky.”
It pulled a screwdriver out of its belt, the steel blade some eight inches long and tapered to a point at the end. It deftly spun it in its hand as it approached. Billy tried to kick and scramble away, but it was no use. The thing began to stab at him, and even though he threw his hands up to protect him, the agony of the steel piercing his skin was like hot fire as it scraped against his bones and punctured into his body. After a while, he couldn’t feel the pain anymore and stopped fighting, and when that happened, the Trans Energy man tossed the bloody screwdriver aside and took a moment to catch his breath.
“Don’t fight it now,” It said softly, almost soothingly. Billy trembled as his punctured body screamed in agony.
“I... do…do.... pl…”
“Shhhh.” The man said gently, smiling at Billy lovingly with its broken mouth. “It’s time to get that Snifferblob out of you now. I have to open you up I...”
“No... Please...” Billy gasped as he spat up more blood and broken shards of teeth.
“You are going anyway Squeaker. There ain't no changing that. Death is on its way to you one way or the other. I can make it easier. I can make sure you don’t hurt anymore.”
Billy couldn’t answer. His body was like an inferno of agony. But he did want the pain to go away. There was no denying that. He managed a nod, barely perceptible, but there all the same.
The thing in the Trans Energy uniform saw it, and Billy watched as thin black tendrils began to push out of the back of its skull, each slick and glistening in the darkness. There was no fear in Billy, not anymore. He had gone to a place far beyond that. Instead, he watched the shambling thing grow further tentacle-like appendages from its fingertips, the sound of its skin splitting all the more awful in the otherwise heavy silence of the hallway. Billy was overcome with a calm acceptance, an inevitability from knowing his time was at an end.
The thing leaned over Billy, and even so close to the stink of blood and sweat, and the sight of those mottled, slick tentacles probing the air like blind snakes, still he didn’t shy away. The tentacles reached down, attaching like leeches to Billy’s arms and face. Others still snaked out of the creature’s bloody overalls, pushing Billy’s t-shirt up and attaching themselves in a rough circle around his stomach.
The pain in his body began to subside, replaced with heady, liquid warmth which began to envelop him. He could see the tentacles pulsing as they pumped him full of whatever was numbing his pain.
“Thank you…” Billy mumbled, even managing a smile as the thing carefully removed the hammer from his cheek and tossed it aside.
“I... I don’t want to suffer…”
The pulsing tentacle clad beast didn’t respond, it only watched. Waiting for the right time to do what it needed to do. As Billy sank into his hazy euphoria, he saw nothing in the things eyes. No kindness, no compassion, no empathy, no humanity. It was a beast. A creature with a task to complete.
“It’s time.” The thing said, and although such a statement should frighten him, Billy barely acknowledged it. The warmth was so good, so comforting, that nothing else mattered. He barely noticed when the ring of tentacles attached to his stomach retracted, taking the circle of skin with it. Blood pattered on the floor as the flap of skin and muscle was set aside, exposing his stomach cavity. There was no pain, or perhaps he was too far gone mentally to acknowledge it.
That was part of me once. Billy thought absently as the thing reached its arm into his stomach. He could feel his innards being pushed aside, manipulated as the thing began its search, its remaining teeth gritted in determination. There was no pain. Instead, he saw flashes of his life, memories of things which had gone before. He saw his wedding day, how beautiful and full of hope Angeline had looked. He saw the day Tyler was born, quickly followed by the first day to his new job. All times when life seemed full of hope, full of possibilities.
His world exploded into bright white light.
I’m dead.
The thought lasted only a split second because the thing in the Trans Energy uniform was screaming. It stood, withdrawing the tentacles and giving Billy back the pain it had taken away. He blinked and screamed as the agony seeped back into his body. It was only when he was free of that drug-like haze he understood what had happened.
The power had come back on, the hallway light banishing the dark, and burning into the thing f
rom Trans Energy like fire. The creature grunted and squirmed as it staggered to its feet, its tentacles writhing and hissing as wispy black smoke began to pour off them. Billy watched as a single light bulb did what bullets couldn’t. The stench which filled the hallway was acrid, thick and heavy as the thing’s tentacles melted. It dragged itself across the wall, leaving sticky black streaks behind as it staggered for the door, which it threw open hard enough to chip the wall where the handle slammed into it. It staggered outside and pushed past the two hanging bodies, which clattered against each other as the thing staggered away into the night, screaming in agony. He listened as the thing’s wails faded, and once again the house was quiet, but it was a good quiet. A natural quiet. He noticed now even a quiet house, one which had power, at least, made noise. The refrigerator hummed steadily, the heaters clicked as they powered up. It was good. It was normal. He also knew he was dying. He would never see Tyler grow up, he would never get to tell Angeline he loved her. He was fading. He knew his time was close.
Sorry pal. It’s time to go.
His trusty inner voice was right. There was nothing left to fight for. His stomach rolled, sending fresh agony raging through him, but he was too weak to scream.
Something moved inside him. Visions of the thing from Trans Energy leaving something behind rekindled his horror, and with a tremendous force of will, he lifted his head to look at the gaping hole in his stomach.
A tiny humanoid hand reached out, grabbing at the flayed flesh on the edges of his wound. Another tiny perfectly formed hand joined it, as whatever was inside him pulled itself out.
Billy was too weak to react and was too far beyond fear to do anything but stare.
The humanoid creature stood on Billy’s chest, pulling sinewy clumps of flesh off its domed head. Its tiny mouth scowled, and Billy could clearly see dagger-like teeth glistening with moisture. It looked like one of Tyler’s action figures, a miniature human-like thing that had been living inside him.
“Are you a Snifferblob?” He whispered.
The humanoid creature only looked at him, hopped down onto the floor and began to walk towards the kitchen, not looking back. It was only then Billy noticed the emptiness inside him the creature had left. It seemed the Snifferblob was more a part of him than he had ever realised. Perhaps the little voice in his head was actually the voice of his Snifferblob. He listened, trying to sense if it was still there. All he could feel was a vast empty void. For all his fighting, the thing in the Trans Energy overalls was right. There had been a Snifferblob inside him. And now it was gone. He needed to hang on, to wait for Angeline to come to him because now he was ready to say those three words that meant so much. It was only now, as he lay shivering and bleeding out on the hallway floor he realised some things were bigger than affairs, revenge, or holding grudges. Some things in the world had neither rhyme nor reason, and he had seen first-hand that sometimes, things came out of the darkness and knocked on the door which could derail a life in a split second.
Billy smiled as he watched the tiny creature which had climbed out of his stomach enter the kitchen, giving the macabre cage containing Mr Conwell’s severed head a wide berth. Three more of his kind appeared, pushing open the cupboard under the sink and awaiting their fellow creature. They helped it to climb up into the darkness, and with one last look back at Billy, the foursome gently closed the cupboard door behind them. The silence in the house was broken only by the gentle sounds of pans being displaced, as the tiny creatures disappeared further into the darkness to wherever they dwelled.
Snifferblobs.
Billy took one last breath and smiled.
WATCHERS
[This is one of my favourite stories. It very nearly made the cut for inclusion in Funhouse, but I left it out because I wanted to make a few tweaks to the story and the deadline for finalizing the stories was getting close. I like the idea that those malevolent and supernatural things which are always so dumbed down in books and films might actually have been much the same as people are in life. The idea of a grim reaper with a bad attitude and jaded with his job was just so appealing that I had to write it straight away.]
YOU KNOW ME. You might not think so, but you do. I’m in the corner, watching and waiting just like I’ve done your entire life. Sometimes you might sense me, but I’m always one step ahead, gone by the time you stare into the darkness and try to figure out what that sound you just heard was. I don’t mean anything by it. I just get bored, and when that happens you’re an easy target.
Let me explain.
I’m that thing.
You know what I’m talking about. The glimpse of a shadow moving in the corner of the room or the stealthy thud that wakes you at night. The horrible feeling that comes over you for no reason and makes your skin crawl.
All me.
It’s funny, really. You humans are so easy to scare. There’s no sport in it anymore. The world has changed now. It’s all gadgets, electronics, and social media. Everyone is just so damn busy these days that a lot of the innocence has gone. You humans became desensitized and stopped believing in the possibility that something like me could ever exist.
Don’t worry, though, I’m still here.
I always have been.
Of course, it was different when you were younger. It was easier back then, easier to fuck with your susceptible little mind. That part is always fun, especially at that ripe age where kids still believe in monsters and the boogeymen, and things that go bump in the night.
Kids, in general, are more receptive, more aware of things from my side of the world. Hell, some kids can see us no matter how much we try to hide. We light up like Christmas trees to them, which makes the job harder than it should be. They’re rare, though, and we have specialists who deal with the ‘bright light’ kids. You call them psychic. We call them a problem. Lucky for me, though, you’re not one of them. Don’t get me wrong, back when you were a kid, you were plenty aware of me. I remember those nights when you were tucked up in bed, lying awake and staring into the darkness and just to fuck with you, I would make a noise. Something subtle. Maybe just a whisper, or maybe I’d drag my claws lightly across the floorboards next to your bed. I’d watch you sit there, covers pulled up to your chest as you glared into the darkness. It always amused me the way you tried to justify everything that those sounds could be, dismissing them one by one until you were left with the only possible option.
Me.
Don’t sweat it, though, it’s just jest. It’s a way for me to get my kicks and whittle away the boredom whilst I wait. Sometimes I would make myself into a physical form and watch you sleep. I’d stand over your bed, a towering, shapeless, black thing, and watch you dream. If I was feeling particularly mischievous I would touch your cheek and watch as you shuddered and pulled the blankets closer around you and away from my cold, dead hand. No, sir. There is nothing more fun than messing with the minds of kids. I’ll tell you what my favourite thing is. You know that feeling when you are just drifting off to sleep, and you jerk awake for no reason?
Guess who.
Of course, it’s a lot harder now. You grew up and stopped believing in things like me. Those noises that used to make you shit your Jim-jams, you barely even hear anymore. You forgot about me, and before I knew it, you had moved out and started a family of your own. I came with you of course. Those are the rules. Each human gets assigned one of my kind at birth who will stay with them until it’s time to die. Lucky for you, I’m fucking good at my job. Some might say one of the best.
Want to know just how good I am?
I’m watching you right now, just waiting for you to switch the TV off and go to sleep. You, of course, have no idea I’m here because I don’t want to be seen, not yet, at least, and so that’s how it will be until I decide otherwise. Even so, you might feel a chill if you walk through the place where I’m waiting. And wait I will. Time doesn’t mean anything to me anyway. Some might say it’s all I have.
Believe me, if there’s o
ne thing you need for this job, its patience. Sometimes you don’t have to wait for too long, and in a way, those gigs are the best. You can be clinical, efficient. Grade a professional. On the flip side, sometimes it can take a while.
Let me tell you it ain’t easy. There are no breaks; no clocking off at five to go home, put your feet up and catch up on the latest goings on in the soaps or to see which country is edging the world closer to a third world war... No-sir-ee. When we get assigned to someone, we’re there 24/7 until the end. Like I said, it’s a big commitment.
Some of the others like me, they don’t like the long jobs. No patience for it, they hate the waiting around until you punch out for the last time.
Me?
I never had a problem with it. I get a kick out of seeing how you humans grow up, watching as the innocence is driven out of you and the cruelty of the world rears its ugly head just before it kicks you right in the balls.
Man, I couldn’t tell you the things I’ve seen. I’ve seen good kids go off the rails and become vicious murderous scum, and I’ve seen bad kids turn their lives around and go on to do great things that make a difference.
Oh, that’s another thing you should know.
There are no secrets from me.
I know everything. Every dirty, little, private moment that you think is yours alone, I know it. I see it.
I’m always with you. From beginning to end, right there by your side.
What a waste of a life. You had it all. Wife, kids, promotion in the offing if you just applied yourself a little harder, made a little more effort. As always, you still managed to find a way to screw it all up, and now you’re all alone.
Forgotten Fears Page 8