Darcy’s lips twitched and, although he had something else in mind to voice, kept himself to only answer the gentleman in the conversation.
“Of course, Bingley, I am at your disposal.”
Bingley nodded slowly and turned to lead them down the hall to his library. Upon entering, he poured Darcy a glass of wine and handed it to him. He watched with growing concern as Darcy raised it with a gesture of thanks before smiling broadly and taking a drink. He could not think why his friend was in such high spirits when the lady he loved was in a precarious state not three miles away.
“Darcy, my friend, did you perhaps receive my express?”
“I did just last evening. I thank you for being so prompt in your writing it. It is, of course, the reason we are here so precipitously.”
“We?” Bingley questioned.
“Oh, William, dear. You must endeavor to be more careful. They will send you to Bedlam before we can even put this whole mess to right,” Elizabeth teased.
Darcy cleared his throat and, with a casual scratch to the back of his neck, answered his friend, “That is, my servants and I.”
Much to Darcy’s relief, Bingley seemed satisfied with this clarification, though his eyes remained concerned. Darcy, for the most part, remained oblivious to his friend’s state of confusion.
After a minute, Bingley could take no more and blurted, “And are you not the least bit concerned, Darcy?”
Darcy started at his friend’s vehement address. It occurred to him then that Bingley referred to Elizabeth’s physical state. Having had the knowledge that her spiritual state was in no danger, and after planning with Elizabeth during their carriage ride from London, he was almost entirely successful at pushing the morose thought of Elizabeth’s physical state out of his mind. So certain he was that they would be able to bring Elizabeth to rights whole, he had lost all natural worry. He could see, though, that his friend was concerned, and knowing that Bingley could not know Elizabeth in essence was well, or would be soon, he decided to temper his hopeful spirits.
Letting the smile drop from his face, Darcy said seriously, “Indeed, I am Bingley. You must excuse me for my indelicate behavior. I am merely hopeful for a . . . a speedy resolution. It is this hope that has prompted my behavior.”
“How can you do it, sir?”
“What do you mean, Bingley?”
“Even now, Darcy, the lady you love is lying lifeless and has been in such a state for nigh unto a week — for six days to be exact! How can you hold to such high spirits?”
The mood in the room shifted then at the blunt words uttered by Bingley. Darcy looked over at Elizabeth who also was feeling the weight of their situation again. Each wondered briefly whether they would be able to know how the reunion was to be done.
“Well, I would not have guessed it, but it seems Mr. Bingley knows how to effectively sour the mood in a room,” Elizabeth said in an attempt to laugh her way out of her suddenly gloomy thoughts.
Darcy agreed with Elizabeth and turning towards his friend said, “And would you have me pacing the room, fearful of the worst and agonizing over it? Bingley, though I am not noted for having the most happy of characters, allow me this one comfort of holding to a belief that all will be well and hopefully soon.”
Bingley apologized then most feelingly. “I had not considered it that way, Darcy. Truly, please accept my apologies. I am certain that Miss Elizabeth will be well soon.”
“Thank you Bingley.”
Elizabeth sighed and walked about the room, looking at the collection of books. She tried most heartily to drive her concerns from her mind and in the attempt uttered, “Do you remember, William, when we spent near thirty minutes alone in this room together when I came to nurse Jane?”
He remembered all too well, it was a lesson in patience and a trial of torture to be so close to her for any length of time. He remembered her perfumed toilet water and its slinking ability to tease his senses. He remembered the tapping of her foot and the way she bit her lip gently, creating a soft pressure, that drove him nearly insane.
“I remember,” he responded, then adding quickly for Bingley’s benefit, “When we were all here before the holidays.”
Bingley accepted Darcy’s wish to change topics and, taking up his seat, nodded wistfully. “It was perhaps one of the most pleasant times of my life. We have not met together since we were all dancing together here at Netherfield.”
Darcy noted that Bingley’s use of the collective meant he was now including the Miss Bennets as he had met with his friend numerous times during the interim in London.
“You see, William! He remembers it fondly and most accurately I would say.” Elizabeth beamed with happiness for her sister. “I wonder if he has seen Jane.”
“Have you seen Miss Bennet then, Bingley?”
“Of course I have; how else would I have known about Miss Elizabeth’s accident?”
Darcy shrugged, “These things often become neighborhood gossip.”
“I have been to Longbourn.”
“Oh please do ask after Jane,” Elizabeth pleaded, suddenly filled with the intense desire to hear anything of her family and to know how Bingley was received.
Darcy nodded almost imperceptibly at Elizabeth and turning to his friend, asked, “And how did you find Miss Bennet?”
Bingley sighed and slouched back into his chair. “She is just as handsome as I remembered and more angelic still.”
Elizabeth laughed with merriment and tapped her slippered feet with excitement. Darcy’s eyes grew tender at seeing her so happy.
“I have called upon Longbourn twice and each time was very graciously received, despite my poor manners upon quitting the neighborhood.”
“My mother must have been thrilled.”
“Mrs. Bennet, of course, was quite thrilled to see me, quickly ushering me to Jane’s side.”
Elizabeth colored in embarrassment for both her mother’s behavior and for the mortification that Jane would have felt. It was only the realization that she and Mr. Bingley had said nearly the same thing that brought a smile back to her face.
“But that was only the first day. The entire house is quite subdued due to the accident and Miss Elizabeth’s state. Mrs. Bennet was a tad altered, though in essentials just as I remembered her. What will you think of my vanity when I tell you that I believe my return did brighten things a bit?”
“What are your plans then, Bingley?”
Elizabeth leaned in, eager to hear as also. The gentleman questioned was silent for some time, though. She looked at Darcy with concerned eyes, and he, sharing her sentiment, gazed at his friend. Eventually, Bingley did speak.
“If you had asked what it was that I wanted to do, then I could easily give you an answer, Darcy. I am not insensitive though to the pain that Miss Bennet has suffered over the past week as she agonized over her sister’s health. It is all so precarious. If you had asked what I wanted,” he repeated. “I would have told you that I want to saddle my horse this very minute, ride to Longbourn and declare myself to her. Give her the comfort of knowing my intentions and ask her to marry me.” Bingley sighed again and, turning pained eyes to his friend, said, “But you asked what my plans are. I suppose until Miss Elizabeth’s health is less undetermined, my plans are to call upon Jane most frequently. I plan to convince her by whatever means available to me that I am not so inconstant as my previous behavior might have taught her.”
Darcy sympathized with his friend. Although his own state of happiness with Elizabeth was much more determined, her ghostlike state made it at least still tenable. Where they had the benefit of some kind of understanding, they had not the ability to do anything about it. And where her sister and Bingley had the benefit of each other’s physical presence, they had not the understanding of heart that Darcy had with Elizabeth. It was a troubling state of opposites.
“I think you have a good plan, Bingley,” Darcy responded kindly.
* * *
Later, upon
retiring to their quarters, Elizabeth turned to Darcy and said, “I had not considered the state my family must be in. All this time I have not considered them in the least. I have thought only of my own strange experiences.”
She looked up to him with eyes so disappointed in herself that Darcy immediately stepped closer to her and shook his head. “You ought not to trouble yourself over this, Elizabeth.”
“But does it not speak clearly to my character that I was not in the least bit concerned for how they might be suffering, worrying for me?”
“I do not think so. And you are forgetting, my dear, that until just last evening you believed that you were only dreaming.”
Elizabeth considered this truth, and it did much to ease her feelings of self-reproach. The remaining feelings were transformed into a greater determination to be successful at her reunion. She was fairly confident that she would be able to manage it. That the wish of giving happiness to her family might add force to the other inducements that led her on, she did not attempt to deny.
“Come now, my dear. Let us speak on happier topics. Tomorrow we shall go to Longbourn, and you shall see your family.” Darcy smiled upon seeing that his words returned that sparkle to her eye he loved so well. “And should we have the good fortune of maneuvering all parties to our liking, we shall also be able to accomplish our plan. Perhaps even tomorrow you shall be restored to yourself.”
Darcy successfully hid his apprehension at this. It was confusing in a most peculiar manner. He wished fervently to have Elizabeth be whole so that he might request the honor of her hand — literally — and yet he also knew he would miss this time with her.
Elizabeth nodded and, with a more heartfelt smile, responded, “That is one point which we need to amend, William. Though we had planned for you to slip away when you called on my home, I begin to think you cannot simply stand up to take your leave in the middle of tea.”
Darcy chuckled at the image that thrust into his mind of him standing unceremoniously and leaving while Mrs. Bennet served tea. “No, I suppose not.”
Together they were silent as they considered options.
“You could excuse yourself to the necessary room.”
Darcy colored. “Indeed, I think not, Elizabeth.”
“And why not? It is a plausible excuse.”
“And one I am not accustomed to using. I can see you are as yet forming your argument, and I am telling you, Elizabeth, that in no uncertain terms will I excuse myself to use the privy.”
Elizabeth chuckled at his self-conscious manner then and his blushing countenance. She took pity on him and disregarded that idea, even though she thought it was the easiest and had much merit.
“Perhaps, I could suggest a walk,” Darcy ventured, eager to move the topic forward.
“That would only make us farther from my body. We need to be closer to the house.”
Darcy warmed to the idea still. “Not necessarily. We could perhaps stay in the gardens, and slip away when no one is looking. Is there not a back door that we might utilize to gain entrance?”
Elizabeth’s eyes lit with excitement. “Indeed, I had not thought of it. There is a side door, used only by servants and rarely still. It is opposite the kitchens, and since most of the comings and goings are through that part of the house, the servants seldom trespass there. It would be perfect.”
“And may we access it through the gardens?” Darcy was hopeful, as this idea seemed infinitely more comfortable to him than Elizabeth’s previous one.
“Indeed! It is exactly off them around a little bend. It will be perfect.” Elizabeth began to pace as she reviewed their plans to accommodate this part of the strategy. “We will venture out on a walk with Jane and Bingley, who will surely agree to such a scheme as walking in the gardens. When they are not looking — they shall be too in love with each other to notice — ”
“Stay focused, Elizabeth,” Darcy said, chuckling at the blissful look that stole across her features when she mentioned her sister and his friend.
“Right, sir. We will then slip away to the side entrance. It accesses a back staircase to the chambers as well, which shall help us to avoid notice from anyone inside.”
“Then it is settled. A walk in the gardens.”
Darcy relaxed into a chair and contented himself with observing his Elizabeth happily. Her countenance was brilliant, and the bloom in her cheeks intoxicating. He could not believe he was there with her, and the sparkle in her eyes only added to those other sentiments that made him eager to be successful in their endeavors. He watched as she walked around the room gesturing, lost in her thoughts with the excitement of their hopes for the next day.
“If I could, I would kiss you this very minute, Elizabeth.”
He watched, charmed as her energetic movements halted abruptly and she turned wide-eyed to him. The bloom so beautifully displayed before on her cheeks intensified and spread across her entire face. Darcy stood slowly, walking with measured steps towards her.
Elizabeth was rooted in place, her heart hammering in her chest and her mind sapped of all thought as she watched him approach her. Her eyes blinked rapidly, her pupils dilated. Unconsciously she lifted a hand to touch the tips of her fingers to her lip. He made a sound then and her eyes lifted to his just as he stopped before her.
The feelings overwhelming her made her laugh shakily. “Indeed, and what makes you think, sir, that I would allow you that liberty?”
Darcy tilted his head and settled scorching eyes on her, his gaze traveling lazily down to her lips. “It is the very thought that you might that haunts me even now, Elizabeth.”
* * *
Jane hummed to herself as she gently and tenderly washed her sister’s hair. It was a task she had only allowed herself to perform, and she lovingly performed it with care. With only the aid of Mrs. Hill in positioning Elizabeth near the side of the bed, Jane poured the scented water over her long, chocolate curls. She then toweled them until they were mostly dry before she plaited the hair prettily to lie along the side of Elizabeth’s head down her shoulder. This service helped Jane to feel as if she were still connected intimately to her sister who had been asleep for so long.
“Thank you, Hill, I do not think we will be needing anything further tonight.”
Jane waited to speak to her sister until the housekeeper patted Lizzy’s shoulder with affection and then her own before exiting the room. “There now, Lizzy, you look quite lovely. The gentlemen will be knocking down your door to see you,” Jane said sweetly to her sister.
The silence then in the room settled like a blanket over Jane. Accustomed as she was now to hearing no response from her sister, she did not expect to feel so alone still.
“I spoke with Papa today about a certain gentleman. It is your own fault that you did not get to be my confidant, as you will not wake up,” Jane teased lightly, hoping to dispel the heaviness. “Did you know that he keeps a secret stash of chocolates?”
Jane laughed quietly; it was late enough in the evening that she did not wish to disturb the rest of the household.
“Indeed, with such advantages, I may always take my worries to him in the future.”
Jane lifted her hand to smooth a small curl at Lizzy’s hairline. She then adjusted and smoothed her sister’s arms along the freshly laundered nightgown she wore. It had tiny purple flowers embroidered on it, and it was actually one of Jane’s that Elizabeth had admired.
Jane turned when Lizzy’s bedroom door opened and Lydia entered.
“Good evening, Lydia.”
Lydia waved distractedly at her sister and walked to the other side of the bed to take up the other chair. “I did not know that you were in here, Jane. It is quite late, and I usually . . . ”
“Do you come to talk to her, Lydia?”
The young girl avoided her eldest sister’s eyes as she leaned in towards Elizabeth. With obvious embarrassment, she replied with a nod. “At night, when the others have gone to bed. There are ever so many things t
o do during the day.”
Jane smiled at her sister, pleased that she showed such care for Elizabeth. She knew that Lydia’s words were more an attempt to diminish the significance of her visits and lessen her own embarrassment at showing such feeling.
“I just finished washing her hair this evening. I might have sought my bed at any moment.” Jane stood then to give Lydia some privacy, but she was stopped when she spoke.
“No, stay! That is, I would be pleased to have your company, Jane.”
The awkwardness of the moment was felt by both parties since Lydia had never ventured to wish for Jane’s company in the past. She usually only sought the attention of her mother, Kitty or the officers.
“I saw Mr. Wickham in town today,” Lydia said coolly.
Jane settled herself in the chair again and, although not wishing to have another conversation about any of the handsome militiamen, was content to do so for Lydia.
“He asked after Lizzy,” Lydia said as she reached up to smooth the same errant curl that Jane had smoothed moments before. Her tender action brought a smile to Jane’s lips even when Lydia become conscious of it and withdrew her hand with awkwardness.
“Mr. Wickham is an amiable gentleman. He and Lizzy danced at the assembly and, if I do not mistake myself, enjoyed the experience.”
Lydia nodded, frowning slightly though. “But have you noticed, Jane, since then he has not called here once to see after her health?”
Jane had not noticed that lapse on Mr. Wickham’s part due to weightier thoughts — especially in regards to another gentleman.
“I am sure that he was simply being considerate to the uncertain state here at Longbourn,” Jane said kindly. Jane allowed herself to be slightly disappointed in Lydia for her concern with the lack of attention from Mr. Wickham when Lizzy was so ill.
“I suppose you could be correct, only . . . I think there is more to it. Our Aunt Phillips told me only today when I had mentioned speaking with Mr. Wickham in Meryton that he is soon to be engaged to Miss King.”
Haunting Mr. Darcy Page 21