by Janae Keyes
“No. I’m going to have the documents sent to Liam and I’m done. I can’t go back there. You didn’t see how hurt he was. I’m sure he hates me for how I left things.” I still remembered the telling look in Liam’s eyes as he confronted me in Dad’s driveway.
It had all been my fault. I wasn’t responsible for my heart and I allowed myself to act with him as if we could be that couple again. We fell into what we could be, when that life was never meant for us. I’d learned that fact years ago.
“Beth, you’re my best friend and you know I will always tell you the truth and tell you like it is,” Olivia pointed out and I knew her words were true.
“Yeah.”
“Get your head out your ass. You and Liam belong together. You honestly can’t tell me you’re happy being down there alone,” Olivia lectured me as she usually did. I wasn’t happy. Work did make me happy but at the end of the day I returned to an empty home.
When I’d gotten back to L.A. I found my condo stripped of anything that belonged to my ex. He’d done exactly what I wanted him to and he got out my house. My house now felt bare and naked.
“It’s done, Liv. I can’t go chasing this pipe dream. Yeah, there was once a time where I thought Liam and I would be together forever. I thought we’d have this beautiful life where I’d have my career and we’d live it up together. Apparently, Liam didn’t want that life and he still doesn’t. He wants us, but he wants us on his terms.” Every word was true, and I wasn’t down with his terms.
“That’s where as a couple you negotiate, you make it work. You guys can do it. I know you can,” she pleaded with me.
“Not everyone gets a fairy tale like you!” I snapped, frustrated at everything. There was a moment of silence after my outburst. “I’m sorry.”
“You know it wasn’t a fairytale. You know everything we went through. At the end of the day, we made our love work because it was stronger than anything. I remember thinking you and Liam had it made. I was so jealous of you and the love you got to share with a great guy. I think you two have tried to fuck it up enough.” Olivia was telling the truth. Her story wasn’t some beautifully coordinated fairytale, but in the end, she ended up a happily married woman while I was alone. “What’s your plan?”
“There is no plan. I can’t go back. I know I can’t at this point. What’s done is done,” I resolved. It was done and there was no crawling back.
Chapter Sixteen
Liam
The sound of the equipment drowned out my thoughts. Every moment of everyday my mind was on Bethany. I shouldn’t have let her go and I fought with the guilt I felt about it. It was worse than the guilt I’d felt before, the first time I’d broken her heart. This time, it was worse.
Shaking it away, I continued my work on the car that had arrived at the shop early this morning. Instead of letting it get me down, I threw myself into my work. My life revolved around making sure Serenati had everything she needed. I worked late nights at the bar and early mornings in the shop. I didn’t leave a moment of time for my mind to wander.
“Delivery!” A voice called from the garage’s entrance. I’d barely heard it. I dropped my tools and kicked myself from under the car. A man stood in the doorway looking confused.
“Yeah, I’m here. What can I do for you?” I asked the confused guy who nodded toward me. He held out an envelope and I took it from his hands the moment I approached him. I took no time in opening it up. I’d been waiting on news from the court on my custody case and it could possibly be it. “Is this real?”
“As far as I know,” he answered as I stared down at two documents. One of them was the deed to the bar. Bethany had completely signed away her rights and the property completely belonged to me. The property had also been paid off. The other document was the title to my car, the car I’d sold. “So, the car is being delivered this afternoon.”
“Seriously?” I couldn’t help but beam from ear to ear. My car, Bethany had bought back my car for me and paid off the bar’s debt. I shook my head in disbelief. She had said she would pay me back, but I hadn’t honestly expected such a grand gesture.
The man reached into his back pocket and handed me another envelope. “I forgot, there is a letter too. Have a great day.”
“You too man,” I answered as he gave a wave and left me alone.
I opened the other envelope and pulled out a piece of fancy stationery.
FROM THE DESK OF DR. BETHANY CROSS
The letterhead was in a raised font and the paper was the good heavy stuff. I chuckled knowing Bethany would have some fancy paper sitting around her office, while I normally used my raggedy ass notebook. The rest of the note was in her gentle handwriting. I remembered in high school being in awe of her perfect penmanship. Everything in Bethany’s world was about perfection and we had been far from that.
Liam,
This is the least I could do. You’ve done so much for me and I never had to ask. You were there for Dad in his final days and you took care of what was his even when you had no obligation. I told you I would pay you back and I meant it.
Though Dad left Crossroads to the both of us, I know the bar is better off in your hands. I finally had the deed transferred into your name and with the money from selling Dad’s house, I was able to pay off the debt. Crossroads has always been a place for anyone in the community and Dad showed love to everyone who walked through the doors. I know you will do the same.
Your car is a part of you. You built it and you put so much hard work and dedication into it. I hated that you sold it. I know you were being selfless and this is my selfless act, I bought back your car. Enjoy it and take your daughter on long road trips, show her the world outside of the Fort Shasta’s city limits.
Liam, I can never repay you for all that you’ve done, but this is my way of trying to do so. It is only a small drop in a large bucket. Thank you for everything.
All my love,
Bethany
I folded the letter and placed it back into the envelope. That was it. It was all said and done. In perfect Bethany fashion, she cleaned up any loose ends. She couldn’t just let things lie how they were. Bethany had to make things right, how she saw fit. It wasn’t that I didn’t appreciate her effort because I did. She knew how much I loved my car and she made sure to get it back for me, but she also knew I loved her more.
The sound of Dad’s tow truck interrupted my thoughts and I stepped out into the sunshine. On the bed of the truck was a familiar sight, my promised car. Dad jumped from the cab all while shaking his head. He stepped to me and slapped my shoulder hard.
“You and that girl,” he commented, and he didn't need more words.
I knew what he meant by it. The years of Bethany and I were filled with these constant moments where we’d do anything for one another. Then there were the silent years. The years filled with my regrets. Her final gesture was an introduction to more silence.
“She sent the deed to the bar too. Looks like Crossroads is officially mine,” I told dad as I gave him a shrug.
“What’s that shrug mean?” Dad asked as he imitated me.
“I don’t know. I just expected–”
“For her to come running back to you. Son, you’re smarter than that. You know Bethany is hardheaded. She isn’t one to give in. She did what you should have done a long time ago, get out of here. You and I both know Bethany can’t just leave the life she built behind. You’re living in a dream world, Liam.” Dad took off his gloves as he spoke. I could always count on Dad to tell me how it was and not sugarcoat anything.
Hell, I remember when I first broke up with Bethany and began to date Kayleigh. He straight faced told me I was making this biggest mistake of my life letting Bethany go for someone who could never love me back the same way Bethany had.
“I’ve seen you make mistakes. I’ve also seen you grow up and become a man despite those mistakes. You’ve grown from them. You have become a father and a damn good one, but the one place you’ve continu
ed to fail at is running after the girl you love. I’ll keep telling you over and over that letting her go has always been a bad move.”
“I know,” I grumbled as I ran my fingers through my hair. “I know, but there is no going back. It’s all said and done. Let’s move on,” I finally snapped. It was high time it was all let go. Bethany offered her closure and it was the end.
“Just one more hit, Liam,” Mrs. Stevens slurred as she dropped her glass on the bar for another shot of Jack Daniels, which had been her flavor of the month.
“You’ve had enough,” I took her glass and dropped it into the sink.
It was a typical late night at Crossroads. I was exhausted and couldn’t wait get everyone out, clean up, and drop into my bed the moment I got to my place. The months passed easily and three months after Mr. Cross’s death, the bar remained how he wanted it. It was a place for the community to come together and let loose.
My eyes glanced up at the Wall of Fame, one picture stood out to me every time I peered up there. I saw Bethany’s smile as she stood proudly next to her dad. That was all I had left of her besides this bar. Over two months had passed since she walked out of my life for good.
In those two months, life kept moving as it always would. The best part was getting full custody of Renni. My daughter was my pride and joy, and I would give her the world. It was difficult though, working my days in the shop and spending nights in the bar that was barely scratching even most months.
With the summer over, business slowed down almost to a halt, it was only the old regulars like Mrs. Stevens and Dale who stuck around most evenings. I could close the bar more nights, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Mr. Cross would have never shut his doors because the community always needed a place to go.
“You’re right,” Mrs. Stevens muttered as she climbed off her usual barstool and began to stagger away before she turned around. My eyes had glanced back up at Bethany’s photo. “You ever talk to her, Bethany?”
Quickly, I turned my attention to the drunk old woman. I shook my head. There was no talking to Bethany. That letter from her was the last bit of communication I shared with her.
“No,” I sneered. I was so sick and tired of people asking me that. At least once a day someone asked if I’d heard from Bethany.
Mrs. Stevens stepped back toward the bar. Her wrinkled face looked somber as she held out her hand. I was confused on what she wanted, but I gave her my own hand. She held it and squeezed tightly. She had one hell of a grip with how wasted she was.
“You’re a smart young man, but you can be really fucking stupid sometimes. That girl needs you more than anything. She’s suffering. She ain’t got nobody in this world, but you. I know how you feel about each other. I think everybody in this town knows. You should have chased her when you got the chance. The longer you wait, the more both of you suffer and the more likely she’ll move on.” For a drunk woman she’d gotten pretty damn philosophical. Though I’d seen booze turn a few people into scholars before.
“I hope she does move on,” I said trying to keep any emotion from my voice, but the thought of Bethany moving on did hurt. It hurt like all hell.
She’d done it before. Bethany had gotten herself a fiancé. She’d gotten a man that broke her heart. She deserved happiness, she really did and on her own terms. I’d tried to force something she didn’t want.
“You don’t mean that. I see it in your eyes. Go after her. We’ll survive. I promise you, Liam. Us here in Fort Shasta will survive, but right now you’re barely hanging on.” Mrs. Stevens let my hand go and once again was staggering to the door with the final customers who all waved their goodbyes for the night. The old woman turned back to me and pointed a finger. “You hear me, we’ll survive. Go fight for your love. Our time is up, but you still have so much to offer.”
Once Mrs. Stevens was out the door, I was left alone in the old bar. Was she and everyone around me, right? No matter who I came across from my parents to bar patrons like Mrs. Stevens, they all told me the same thing. They all said to get up and go get Bethany for myself.
Fuck, I needed her more than anything. Bethany had a way of clearing the skies and making sense of nonsense. We were opposites in every aspect but were drawn to one another like mosquitos to light.
“We’ll survive,” Mrs. Stevens words floated through my mind. I stayed behind because I wanted to do my part for the community, but what if the community was now doing something for me.
Fighting her words away, I wiped down the bar. I had too much to lose if I left, at least that was how I saw it. I owned this bar. I owned a historical part of Fort Shasta. Crossroads would go down in history and I would see that it did.
I counted the money in the drawer and took it back to the safe. Locking it away I heard the sound of the door opening. Shit, I’d forgotten to lock it when Mrs. Stevens walked out. I’d been so distracted with her words that I failed at following my usual routine.
Shaking my head, I figured it was a usual patron and I’d just let them know we were closed for the night. As I left the office behind, I realized how wrong I was. There were about five big dudes that stood with their eyes on me. One of them I recognized as Kayleigh’s punkass drug dealing boyfriend. For the life of me I couldn’t remember that fucker’s name.
“What do you want?” I asked as I worked to slowly step around the bar. There was an old, but still functioning gun down there just for an extra bit of security.
“Kayleigh,” he said before he spit a wad of what I assumed was tobacco on the floor. I snarled at him.
“Kayleigh, if you are looking for her, isn’t here.” I informed him as I continued my pursuit for the gun. I just wanted to scare them away.
He chuckled before nodding to one of his boys who rushed me. I fought back laying a good punch into the guy’s face, but before I knew it, two other guys were on me and pinning me to the floor.
I glanced up to see Kayleigh’s boyfriend stepping toward me. He glared down at me from above as he chewed his tobacco. His boot pressed down on my head. I groaned at the pain of him pushing down just enough to cause me that bit of agony.
“You think I’m stupid, huh?” he asked as he bent down to me and grinned with his tobacco stained yellow teeth. “Kayleigh sent me. She wants her kid back. Only a piece of shit like you goes and takes a chick’s kid like that.”
“Only a piece of shit like you feeds the habit of a fucking drug addict who doesn’t deserve custody of her kid,” I spat back.
His foot left my head, but a brutal kick landed in the middle of my stomach. I groaned and coughed. Another kick landed in my face. The copper taste of blood instantly filled my mouth.
“Fuck,” I groaned, spitting blood onto the floor.
“You think you’re some big guy around these parts. You own yourself this little piece of shit bar. You think you’re better than everybody else. I see your shit. Think you got something going on, fucking that doctor chick that left your ass in the dust. You ain’t shit, you just a piece of dust.
Another blow to my stomach, followed by more. The guys were stomping all over me. There were too many of them to try and fight them off. I was fucking alone. I tried to crawl away, my hands slipping in my own blood and saliva. I just needed that damn gun in my hands.
“Get back here, fucker!” One of the guys growled as he picked me up by my shirt and tossed me onto a table that broke under the force.
My fucking back felt like it shattered. I almost felt paralyzed. I felt my limbs and all the pain rushing through them, but I couldn’t move them. My eyes watched in horror as one of the guys picked up a signed baseball bat that hung on the wall. He stepped over me and got in a few blows. I groaned at each blow only wishing someone would come in and find me.
The one with the bat laid off and with the others began to wreck the place. The bat swung into bottles of top shelf alcohol. The frames on the Wall of Fame were ripped down and smashed. Everything around me was being destroyed and I couldn’t do a thin
g about it.
Through the haze, I saw Kayleigh’s boyfriend step back to me. He bent down and smiled.
“There is no sole custody if you’re dead,” he laughed before laying in another brutal blow to my face. He continued to laugh as he and his boys reached the door. That’s when I saw the gun in his hand. He fired a single shot and a heat pierced my abdomen. My hands reached and grabbed my stomach. The warmth of the blood drenched my fingers. Then he did one final action that made my eyes go wide, he lit a single match and tossed it behind the bar where all the broken bottles of alcohol laid.
An instant flame rose into the air. The guys went running out the door. Through the crackle of the fire, I heard the sound of tires peeling out. They’d left me to die in the blaze.
Kayleigh had always been evil in her own way, but this put her directly in the lineage of Satan. She only thought about herself. It was never about Serenati and what she needed. It was what Kayleigh wanted. My daughter couldn’t be forced to live her life with that monster. I had to fight for the life she deserved, a life with me, her loving father.
I worked to get onto my knees, pain shooting through my limbs as I tried to crawl. I could barely make it a few inches without running out of breath. I was dizzy as blood left my body at a rapid pace. The heat of the flames blazing around me as the fire spread from the bar and out toward the tables.
Reaching the Wall of Fame area, the glass dug into my hands, but I fought past the pain. The door was within sight, but not fully in reach. Sweat dripped down my body as the heat grew. The flames were closer in reach than the door and the smoke was burning my eyes and my lungs.
I coughed and there I saw it, Bethany’s smile. It was like a mirage, the last sight before the light at the end of the tunnel. I grabbed the photo that laid in front of me before my body couldn’t take it any longer and I collapsed.