by Shawna Logue
“Everyone knows The Dread Pirate Roberts never kept captives alive,” he said, quoting the movie. “She doesn’t seem to mind that he has killed people.”
I scowled. “I don’t think that’s the point.”
“What is the point then, Alex? Enlighten me,” he laughed, making a grand gesture with one hand.
“The point is that true love transcends everything,” I defended. “She never stopped loving him, and he her, despite distance and circumstance. The rest doesn’t matter.” He was ruining the movie for me.
“I see,” he said, and I could tell he was humouring me. I turned the volume up slightly in response, effectively ending the discussion.
When the movie ended, Jack sprang to his feet, quickly slipping in another movie. I looked at him incredulously.
“It doesn’t appear either of us will be sleeping tonight,” he said, responding to my silent question. “So I figured I would pick the next one.”
“Lord of the Rings?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Like I told you,” he laughed, “Tolkien got a few things right. Though where he came up with the whole Hobbit thing is beyond me.”
“You’re ridiculous.”
“Sshhh,” he hushed, though his expression was sarcastic. “It’s starting.”
I rolled my eyes, settling in for the epic.
After a while, I felt the sleep I had been fighting earlier force its way through my eyelids. I leaned against his shoulder to support myself. Despite my best efforts, I was soon asleep.
My dreams were a jumbled collection of colours and senses. At first, none of it made sense, flying around my mind like a kaleidoscope. Slowly, the colours merged into a pale green light. It smelt like pine and musk, and I inhaled, embracing the scent. My body cooled, as though a sea breeze was blowing. I felt my hair twirl freely in the wind as I continued to breathe deeply.
In the distance, I heard a faint chuckle, and though it was familiar, I couldn’t place it. Instead I focused on my surroundings, reaching my hand out into the light. I felt my hand touch a solid wall, cool as the breeze, and smooth as silk. As I ran my fingers on the foreign surface, I traced the topography in my mind. My fingers danced lightly across a marble forehead, over a soft, closed eyelid, brushing gently against long lashes before slowly following the defined cheekbone. Then, gracefully, it ran down the angular nose, before pausing on the thin, sleek lips. The lips, sensing my hesitation, parted slightly, and I felt a cool breath ice them over.
“Oh!” I said, eyes flashing awake. It was dark, but I could still feel the firm body, tangled slightly with mine, as we both lay on the too small couch. I pushed myself up off him, and caught the briefest glint as Jack watched me in the darkness, his eyes bright. I was grateful it was dark, because my face burned with embarrassment.
He chuckled, raising one cool hand to touch my hot cheek. Oh right, he can see in the dark, I thought to myself as my face burned brighter.
He turned my face to his, gently pushing the cool of his hand against my hot face. His eyes sparkled in the darkness, and I looked down, still trying to sit up properly, but feeling unable to move.
His other hand reached up cautiously, lifting my chin so that our eyes met again.
“You fell asleep,” he whispered, not letting go of my face.
I nodded, unable to speak.
“You were dreaming?” he asked, but I knew it was not a question.
I didn’t answer, and I saw him close his eyes softly. He continued to hold my chin in place as his other hand slowly traced my face, echoing the pattern from my dream. I closed my eyes as his thumb moved delicately across my lids, and did not open them when they followed my cheek, my nose, and finally pausing on my lips. Unlike him however, they did not part under his cool fingertips. Instead, he traced them, twice.
Despite expecting it, his lips surprised me. They were soft and cool against mine, gently forcing mine open in response. I felt his hand in my hair, and I recognized the breeze I had felt in my dream. His actions were slow, deliberate, and calculated. As I moved, I felt him shift so that he was constantly supporting my weight. My hands, which were still propping my upper body up, crumbled against myself, and I collapsed into him.
Subconsciously, I knew I was bracing for the last of my Elven magic to escape me in a violent surge. I held on to it, not wanting to lose this moment.
I felt his lips leave mine for the briefest moment as he whispered, “Let go,” before pulling me back to him.
I tensed, unwilling to listen. I finally had control and he wanted me to throw it away? Wasn’t control what I had been trying so hard for?
“Trust me,” he breathed, and the cool air flowed across my face, making my head spin.
I was powerless in his arms, and with a deafening snap that I was sure only I could hear, I let go of all control.
His hand released my hair, and I heard him mutter something quietly as the green light flowed out of his hand in strands, tangling and twisting in the air as it searched for its origin. I watched in awe as the strands slowly coalesced in the air before anchoring above me, billowing gently.
“Wow,” I said, whispering. I waited for the weakness to hit, but he was kissing me again, his hand twining through my hair, and I was weak, but for entirely different reasons now.
Chapter Fifteen
In the morning, I was still tangled in Jack’s arms, his firm grip holding on to me as though I would float away. It feels so safe here, I thought to myself as I nestled my head into the crook of his neck. I felt his responding squeeze and smiled.
“Good mor-” I started to whisper before he held one long finger to my lips, silencing me.
The buzz of the intercom answered my question. “Expecting someone?”
I shook my head, getting up to look out the window. The sleek, black Audi parked on the street made me groan. I had half a mind to shout out the window, but it was already too late, as Greta, my neighbour, left the building, and recognizing Connor as held the door for her.
“No, no, no,” I cursed. Not now.
The knock was too loud, echoing in the hallway. He was clearly determined to wake the neighbours if he had to.
“I’ll take care of it,” Jack said, his voice fierce.
“Don’t fight,” I said, my voice cracking. “Just, tell him to leave. Or don’t answer the door. Just don’t fight. Please.”
He nodded, his face composing into a stoic mask.
“I’m going to have a shower,” I said, though I felt like it was a question. Jack nodded at me as though giving permission me to leave him alone.
The shower wouldn’t warm up, but I sensed it was due to my body and not the water. I was having such a hard time regulating temperature these days that I was sure I would go into shock at any second. Cringing as the icy water rinsed the last of the conditioner from my hair, I had a stray thought.
Closing my eyes, I pictured the errant strand of energy I had seen floating in the darkness last night. As soon as I saw it my mind, I could feel it was still there, hovering slightly above my couch. I tugged.
It took a while, but eventually I knew I had drained the whole line. It wasn’t nearly as much as I knew I had had in me before, but I guess that Jack had only released the overflow into the air. Nonetheless, my body relaxed as I felt the energy flow through me, mirroring the water of the shower. The temperature of the shower increased, warming me, or maybe it was my own temperature regulating in response to the magic, and that the water had always been warm.
I took a long time to dry my hair, embracing the normalcy that I felt just being in my own home. I slowly creaked the door open and tiptoed to my room. It was empty, and I assumed Justin and Maria must have woken up with the loud knocking.
I spent a long time searching through my clothes, even though I knew I would end up in jeans and a sweater. Still, I wanted the routine. It had been so long since I had choices of what to wear.
Finally satisfied with my less than exciting appearance, I he
aded back out to the four people who were seated tensely in my living room.
Four people?
I could see Maria’s tangled hair, and Justin’s protective arm wrapping behind her head. Beside Justin, I saw Jack’s tense body sitting upright as he perched on the end of the couch. They all had their backs to me, and I considered retreating back into my bedroom, except that the fourth figure, initially sunken back into the armchair, straightened up when he saw me.
Connor. I seethed.
The two elves, responding to Connor, turned to look at me. Justin’s face was hopeful, while Jack’s was unreadable. I could see he was keeping himself composed. Even his blinking looked forced. Maria did not turn, and I could tell from the angle of her head that she was glaring at Connor. I know Maria well enough to know how it feels to be on the receiving end of that look. In my head, I smiled.
Jack opened his mouth to speak, but Justin, perhaps sensing his brother’s tension, spoke first. “Connor is here to help us, Alex.”
I heard Jack’s teeth clamp down a fraction of a second before mine. I walked smoothly to the front door and held it open. “That’s not necessary,” I gritted, motioning for him to leave.
No one moved. I watched Connor with piercing eyes. His expression was apprehensive, and slightly lost.
“He can help us,” Justin said, more pleading now.
I looked at Justin, who was looking at Maria now. She had broken her glare and was now looking down at her wrists, her head leaning into Justin’s arm. As much as she wanted to, she wouldn’t side with me now. I looked over to Jack, and nodded once, before reaching for my wool pea coat and slipping easily into my trainers. I saw Jack rise to follow, but the door was already closing behind me.
For once, I didn’t trip as I sprinted down the stairs and out on to the street. I wasn’t sure why I ran, just that I had to get away. I knew Jack would have no problem keeping up with me, so I did not look back when I heard footsteps close behind me. I made it to the park before I realized my mistake.
The mistake was that I could hear the footsteps.
Slowing, I tensed, tugging on the nearest force line with my mind. It was weak, but I didn’t need much. The Elven magic from earlier still flowed in me, and as the delicious metallic taste filled my mouth, I could feel the arcane magic crackling inside me. It was an odd sensation, having the two powers co-exist in my body. I could distinctly feel them swirling and pulsing, never touching each other as they moved through me.
The footsteps behind me slowed.
“Alex,” my pursuer called, except the faint Irish accent betrayed his voice.
I did not turn to face him. “Connor, I’m not doing this.” My voice felt rough and unfamiliar.
“I can help,” he said, and I felt the sincerity behind it.
“We don’t need help.” I didn’t dare turn around, knowing I did not want to see his face.
“Justin doesn’t seem to think that. He knows what I can do.”
Now I turned, spinning hard on my heel. “Of course he does! You two go way back, don’t you?”
He looked shocked. “What?”
“You and Justin. You knew each other. Before.”
“Well, yes, but-”
“Any reason you didn’t tell me?” I could feel the anger boiling under my skin.
He made a face, thinking over my words. “It never came up,” he said simply, as thought that was obvious.
“Whatever,” I said, turning again to walk away.
His hand clasped around my arm, and I watched as his face contorted with my involuntary power surge. Okay, it might not have been entirely involuntary, but I couldn’t have stopped it once it started. Still, I was surprised as he held on and absorbed all of the Elven magic I pushed out of me.
Finally, he said, “Are you done?”
This brought me up short. Could he tell when I intentionally forced my power onto him? Dumbfounded, I nodded, and stopped the flow. I don’t know how I was able to do shut it off so easily. It was instinctual.
Connor did not let go of my arm, instead, he clasped his hand around the other one, locking me in a vice. It didn’t hurt, but I didn’t fight it. If it came down to it, I knew I was outmatched.
“What is going on, Alex?” His eyes glittered in light of the morning sun and I forced myself not to look at them.
“What the hell do you mean?” I spat. “You know exactly what’s going on!”
“With you,” he said, his voice low and growling now.
“What do mean?” I repeated, my voice echoing his growl.
He scanned my body once over. “You… you’ve changed.” He was hesitant now, and I felt his grip on my arms loosen slightly. I didn’t move.
“Look, Connor,” I said, feeling particularly defiant. I had rehearsed this rant in my head several hundred times already, waiting for this moment. “I’ve got power. I’m not sure why, but I do. I’m not going to sit, defenceless, while people I love are in danger. I’m going to learn how to use this. I am going to fight.” I shook off his grip with as I spoke the last few words. “So don’t try to tell me I’m going to get hurt, because I’ve been there enough times that I don’t care. If I lose Maria over this, if I lose anyone over this, when I had the power to stop it, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.”
“What about me?” he whispered.
“What about you?” I hissed.
His brow furrowed. “What about losing me?”
I laughed once reflexively. “Please, Connor. Don’t give me that crap. I lost you before any of this ever happened. Perhaps before we ever met.” The words were flowing easily now.
“You never lost me,” he said, quiet and filled with hurt. He was still looking at me, and I finally chose to meet his eyes. I could see him holding back a deep set emotion. “You disappeared.”
“Did you honestly think I would stick around? You ripped my heart out, Connor. Why would I want to be reminded of that?”
“I was wrong, Alex. I made a mistake. You need to use your power. It’s just that-” he paused, looking down before continuing in a whisper, “it frightens me.”
“Please!” I retorted, suppressing a laugh. “Do you think I left because of that?” He looked back at me, his face wrought with confusion. I didn’t pause. “To think I actually agreed with you! I went to tell you I would give it all up, Connor. I was willing to give it up to keep you! I came to see you the very next day, prepared to follow your ridiculous terms. Thank goodness I didn’t give it up. Do you realize what I have learned in the last day alone? How much potential I have? I can’t believe I ever considered listening to you, especially now that I know what a complete jerk you are!” I was shouting now, the culmination of all my emotions boiling over. My hands were fists at my side, holding on to every ounce of energy I could out of self preservation.
“Calm down, Alex. What on earth are you talking about?”
“Grace.” The word came out with an awful taste, hissing past my teeth.
I’m not sure how I had expected him to react, but I knew I had expected him to react in some way. Instead, he held my gaze, unmoving.
Finally, I saw recognition cross his face. “Phoebe,” he whispered under his breath.
“Yeah,” I barked, “She told me about how you were off to see your wife.”
To my surprise, Connor seemed relieved. This infuriated me more, and my fists tightened in response.
“Alex,” he sighed, his tone calm now, as he held up his left hand, “what do you see?”
I said nothing. He wiggled his fingers. Still, I did not speak, uncertain of his sudden shift in mood.
“I’m not married,” he said, pointing to his bare ring finger.
The brick wall that hit me was painfully unexpected.
After a moment, I composed myself. Without breaking eye contact he reached for my hands, easily unclenching my fists with little effort. He locked his hands with mine, only the briefest spark of magic flowing between us before I held it back.
I sat unwillingly, not finished being angry, but when I opened my mouth to speak, he silenced me with a cautionary glance.
“Alex,” he began, taking a deep breath, “I owe you an apology.”
I didn’t move. I was seething.
“I’ve never talked much about my past with you. It is not something I like to revisit, but I should have told you why I feel the way I do about you using magic.” He paused, finally looking down. “May I show you something?”
I wanted to say no, and to get up and walk away, but I couldn’t. Instead, I nodded slightly, feeling confused. My anger was ebbing at his pained face, but I still felt defensive and tense.
He squeezed my hand, and I was sure I blinked. The scenery was different now. We were still seated on a bench, but instead of facing the park, we were facing the ocean. We had phased so smoothly I hadn’t noticed. He rose, still holding my hand as he led me across a deserted street. He walked slowly, but clearly with a destination in mind.
If I had been paying attention, I would have noticed the granite crosses and stone angels as we walked in tense silence. It wasn’t until he stopped, however, that I realized we were in a cemetery. Directly in front of us, was a modest granite headstone.
GRACE GALLAGHER
DECEMBER 14, 1954 – SEPTEMBER 25, 1987
ALWAYS LOVING, ALWAYS LOVED.
He waited as I put the pieces together. I did, but I couldn’t find words. Finally, after a long silence, he whispered, “She was my wife, Alex.” I heard him wince as he used the past tense. “I should have told you. I’m sorry.”
“What happened?” I asked, all traces of anger vanished.
He sighed, more deeply than I had ever heard him before, turning to face me. He still clasped one hand around mine, while the other reached up to gently cup my face. “Magic happened.”
I know he saw the shock fly across my face before I could compose myself again.
“She was a wizard too. In fact, she was the first female wizard I had ever met. Most women choose witchcraft as it comes easier to them. Grace was more determined to learn than anyone I had ever seen, and I suppose that’s what attracted me to her in the first place. I was far more advanced than she was, so it was easy to teach her.” He paused, gauging my interest in the story. I didn’t waiver.