My Angel
Page 11
We were having a wonderful time over a cup of tea, discussing the questions of the universe, religion, pedagogy, and psychology, smoothly moving from one topic to another.
“Polina, I have an idea,” suddenly said Nina, with a mischievous twinkle in her eyes. She was pretty sure in everything she was saying or doing, while I was still crammed with doubts and insecurities that any of these ethereal methods could work.
“What? You want me to make a wish, go into trance and fulfill it? I don’t mind! I laughed.
“Well, something like that. I need you to come up with a desire and write it down on this paper. And then, from time to time, just look at it.”
“Do I need to show it to you? Or anyone?”
“As you wish. Up to you. The main thing is that you truly want what you will write down now.”
After such a productive dialogue I went home in high spirits, with a note in my pocket and words written on it: “I want five thousand dollars.” Why five thousand you may ask. Well, I have no answer for that. Then I didn’t really care how much I wrote down, because, well, there was no chance to get such money anyway. And a sum of five thousand dollars was something unreal and magical in my head. But, believe me, I absolutely sincerely wanted it.
Opening the door to my apartment that night, I heard the phone ringing. For some reason, my heart started beating much faster than usual, so I reached the phone in one leap, and grabbed the receiver.
“Hello, dear!”
“Oh, Michael!”
Mike was calling to tell me that he was arriving in three days to see me again. He wanted to help me get an international passport so he could invite me to Alaska!
I slowly sat down on the sofa. May be I would not need to get hoarse from loneliness. The mood became even more joyous. Oh, my gosh. When we were talking with Nina, I just thought that it would be nice if Mike came over again. I didn’t say anything, but I thought it. Wow. Gratitude and love to the whole world covered me with warm soft waves. How beautiful this spring is! How wonderful it is to live! Why didn’t I feel it before? And why did I start understanding it only now?
Chapter Eleven
Spring. The time of year when everything comes to life and renovates: nature, body, thoughts, and feelings. All insults and failures are forgotten in spring. In spring you begin to believe that if you start all over again, you’ll succeed. And right next to me there was a man who knew how to make me feel young, strong, and beautiful.
Ten days of spring passed as it was lived all in one day. The spring air intoxicated me and forced my whole body to work for the sake of love. The streets, all covered in snowy-pink petals from flowering fruit trees, delighted Mike. Perhaps there, in Alaska, it was also very beautiful, but with some other kind of beauty. I would know for sure when I go there.
My English lessons had achieved great results. My American friend was knocked dead with my success. After all, only two months had passed since our last meeting. Then we couldn’t do without a dictionary at all, and now we used it only occasionally. He tried to speak in short sentences slowly and distinctly. I tried to combine the familiar words in the meaningful sentences. We were happy as children when we managed to understand each other.
He told me a lot about himself and his life. He had three brothers: Ken, Don, and Ron. The latter two were twins. Mike was the oldest in his family. When the older boys were nine and seven, and the twins were only four, their mother died after an epidemic of hepatitis. In those days this terrible disease was fatal, or maybe, because of frequent childbirth she was weak or maybe it was God’s will. But out of nine cases she was the only one to die. Mike’s mother was only thirty-four.
Mike told me that he did not remember much of that period of his life. He just recollected that his mother’s skin was very yellow, and he was very sorry for her. Once he hid behind the wooden barn and prayed, asking God to take him, Mike, instead.
“My goodness but you were only nine!” I exclaimed, unable to understand how such a little boy was willing to sacrifice his life.
“I felt sorry for my mom, my dad and especially my brothers. How would they grow up without a mother!”
“Didn’t you feel sorry for yourself?” I couldn’t stop wondering at such willingness in a nine-year-old kid to do this heroic deed.
“I wasn’t thinking about myself. Anyway, I also couldn’t imagine my life without my mom.”
It was the last time Mike prayed. No one knew what was going on in his small but selfless head. Everyone was busy with adult stuff. His father’s grief. His mother’s funeral.
Mike’s father was left all alone with four madcaps on his hands. We can only guess how hard it was, and how he was able to raise the kids. Grandparents on both sides helped at first, but later on he got a well-paid job in Alaska, and they left, all five, to conquer the cold far north. Listening to this story, I realized that I loved that self-sacrificing boy. I loved this man who was that boy, and I would try to do my best to return a faith in God to this man.
The visit was short. When he was leaving, Mike said, “It was strange to realize, but when I arrived home last time, I felt that I really missed you. I came back to check my feelings for you now. You can be sure I’ll be back in autumn. I’ll be back.”
This time, I believed him.
Chapter Twelve
As time went on, life continued to make me happy. I had enough work to live, not rich, but comfortably. My son’s own life-summer began. The time came when his son was to be born. My first grandson. During his birth, I was standing at the window of a labor ward, where I heard his first cry, announcing his arrival into this world!
Unfortunately, pregnancy left us with complications. Anna, my daughter-in-law, had been forbidden by doctors to get pregnant. She was very slim and weak, so on the advice of her mother she decided to hide the pregnancy even from Vova, and told him only at the sixteenth week of term. She just confronted all of us, including Vova, with an accomplished fact. For me it was much like a betrayal, but Vova loved this girl, and I was happy for him. Anyway I felt sorry for Anna and always tried to support her. Moreover that was my grandson!
But life didn’t forgive betrayal. The punishment followed immediately. Bad pneumonia in the middle of the pregnancy challenged the birth of the kid. All the doctors we consulted with gave unpromising predictions: after so many antibiotics and extremely low hemoglobin, the child was unlikely to be born healthy. Only one woman, a professor with forty years of experience, gave me hope. At first she didn’t even want to talk to me. She was angry.
“How could you allow your daughter get to this point! With such poor health, she shouldn’t have gotten pregnant. I don’t even want to talk to you!” The doctor turned away and headed towards the door.
“I am her mother-in-law.”
The doctor stopped abruptly and looked back.
“What? Mother-in-law? But where is her mother?”
“Well, it’s not that easy to explain. Her mother is very worried. She cannot be here. And I have to. I must support not only this girl, but also my son. Besides me, there is no one to support him. After all, it will become his responsibility, both moral and material, if this child is born.
Doctor looked at me with her eyes wide open. I closed mine to gather thoughts in my head, rubbed my forehead and continued, “Mmmm, unhealthy. You know what I mean? And not only for the child, but also for his wife. Everyone will feel sorry for her, but who will feel sorry for my son? There is only me to help him. You know, I have to help the kids make the right decision. So, please, help me.”
“I would be careful giving them advice.”
“No, no. The decision will be made only by them but I have to help, to provide them with information. What to expect, what to do. So what do you think?”
“Okay, let’s talk.” The doctor softened. After a long conversation she said, “Nature is wise. You can only pray and hope.”
And I prayed. Not sure if it was correctly, but it was with all my heart.
“Well, Polina Aleksieievna,” I heard the doctor’s voice, “congratulations on your grandson! What a nice and healthy boy.”
“Thank you, doctor, thank you!”
I could feel the tears of happiness running down my cheeks.
Thank You, God! A miracle happened! Such happiness in my heart!
“Thank You, God, a nice and healthy boy!” And I prayed silently, thank You, thank You. Please send him a good guardian angel, like You gave me. Thank You, thank You.
I immediately shared the good news with my son, who, by the sounds I heard in the phone, was also crying from happiness. And afterwards I called Mike. He was delighted with the news and the fact that I wanted to share it with him. So my son was starting his life’s summer, while I, being in my Indian summer, was ready to enter spring together with my grandson.
Chapter Thirteen
Summer was a blessed time for weddings. I had a lot of clients. I continued to take English lessons, so now the phone conversations with Mike were more actual conversations than only his monologues.
In the evenings Natasha sometimes dropped by. We arranged girls’ get-togethers, discussing current events and news from America.
“Oh, Polina! Mark my words, your Mike will soon come to marry you. And then we will find a nice husband for me.”
“Sure, no problem. You are a good and kind-hearted woman, Natasha. Every man would be more than lucky to have such a wife. However, my marriage is still a big question. I have no idea what his plans are for our future.”
“Uh-oh, I see now. You don’t mind getting married, do you?”
“Yeah, I don’t mind. Why not? He is obviously a good and kind man. He never lies.”
Natasha knew my buzz-bug. Lies were unacceptable in any form. If I caught a man lying, that was a goodbye.
“How do you know he is not deceiving you? You haven’t been there, haven’t seen anything or anyone? How can you be sure?”
“Well, for example, I said to him once, You are such an interesting man, living alone for eighteen years. You must have had a lot of women.”
“And what did he say to you?” My girlfriend laughed. “I suppose, something like, ‘Oh, no you know, there were few or only one or something like that?’”
“No, he just said, ‘Yeah, thousands of them lined up.’
“Thousands?”
“I think here he fibbed a little, of course, but he did not pretend to be a saint, that’s for sure. Moreover, he even told me a joke.”
“A joke?”
“Yeah.”
“A man comes to the store to buy a postcard for Valentine’s Day, and asks, Do you have a card that says ‘For the only one’?
‘We do.
‘Give me twenty-five of those.’”
“For sure, a man with a sense of with humor,” Natasha said giggling. “And what did you reply?”
“Me? Nothing. What did it have to do with me?”
“Aren’t you nervous?”
“Why should I be scared? He is there? I’m here!”
“And if he proposes, what’s then?”
“Well, if he proposes, if he does that, then I’ll start being scared/nervous,” I replied, and we both laughed.
Chapter Fourteen
Mike did come back! [hugs kisses?]He arrived and immediately said, “I’m here for two months. I want to be with you a little longer to get to know you better, and for you to be sure that you can stand me longer than a week. Do you mind if I suggest we go somewhere, for example, to Egypt?”
“To Egypt? Of course I’d love to go! I’ve never been that far from home. Only you do realize I don’t have the kind of money to pay for such a trip.”
“Yes, I do realize this, so I’m offering you this trip as a gift. The costs are my problem. Moreover if I wanted to go to Egypt from the United States, it would cost me three times as much, because of the distances involved.”
“Oh, then of course we will go!” I gladly accepted his offer. “I’ve never flown in a plane before. Is it scary? And where are we going to stay there? Is it true that the Red Sea is so salty that it’s impossible to drown?”
Mike did not even try to answer my questions. He was just looking at me and smiling. Besides, I didn’t need any answers. I’d get a chance to find them out by myself.
We were discussing the trip and solving the details that arose with its coming closer. Then, Mike showed me his ticket and said he would have to go back January 15th. Today was November 15th. Two full months of happy life and new experiences were waiting for me. My life was turning into a fairy tale. And every fairy tale has to have a happy ending. That was my thought at that moment.
“And what is the suit for?” I laughed, when I saw his neatly packed black three-piece suit.
“You never know.” My friend blushed. “Anything can happen. For New Year’s Eve, for example.”
“Oh yes, I totally forgot.” Soon we were to celebrate the New Year, 2005. And I would not be alone to meet it. And it was marvelous that I was finally with somebody, and who knew what might happen. But I didn’t know, and the best part of that was, I had no desire to know. I stopped thinking about the future and devoted my attention entirely to preparing for a trip to a fairy tale straight out of the Arabian Nights.
Our flight was from Kiev, where we once again visited Vova and his family. My grandson had grown into a weak and willful child. He cried a lot, slept badly, and his poor parents were very tired. But that did not stop us from seeing them, and I noticed that between Mike and my son there began to be established warm relationships. This is a good sign, I thought. Despite that, I kept feeling some vague fear, like something bad was going to happen.
My Heavens! What if that old man from my distant youth was right? What if now my life will get better? What if this is the man who will love me?
I never forgot that old man from nowhere, who vanished the same way he appeared, and prophesied me a happy and rich future. In particular, I remembered him when everything was going bad. I comforted myself with the materialistic thought that there was no old man, that I had imagined the whole thing. And even if he had been real, there was no way to know what was waiting for us in the future. Totally incomprehensible and illogical feeling I had, the fear that he could have been right. If our common future with Mike brings only good to everyone, I started to ask, addressing Someone strong and powerful, then let it happen. But if someone, even one person, suffers from it then stop it now. Let nothing happen and everything remains as it is.
I was willing to sacrifice my own happiness for the sake of my son’s or grandson’s happiness. Sincerely and unconditionally. Was that right? I had to ask. “You, my guardian angel, you know what to do. Guide me.”
Chapter Fifteen
Our vacation package to Egypt was booked for the end of December. Now it was the middle of November and Mike asked, “Can we go somewhere else till December comes? To the Crimea, for example? I heard from my friends that it’s a wonderful place and there is a lot to see.”
The Crimea, of course, was a nice place to visit in summer, and I loved going there in the off-peak season, when the sun wasn’t burning the skin, the number of people on the beaches and in the city was much smaller and the price for food and hotels was falling, but I said nothing to change his mind. Dwelling and food prices were now probably even lower. And besides, I just wanted to travel, to see the world, and just take a break from everyday life and its problems.
The Crimea left Mike with the most pleasant impression. Mike, this friend of mine, an open and positive person, appreciated everything he saw with interest, and though he compared it all to Alaska, he was able to recognize the beauty and dignity of my country.
I was grateful to him for that and became more and more attracted to this
stranger.
After visiting the Siege of Sevastopol panorama, Mike greatly surprised me, sharing his knowledge about the Crimean War in the middle of the Nineteenth Century, about the history when England and France united to oust Russia from the Balkan Peninsula and the Black Sea. As it turned out, the comedian Zadornov was wrong in his humorous stories, where he claimed that all Americans were stupid.
We both admired with great pleasure the rooms of the Vorontsov Palace, each of which was unique and individual, complete with exhibitions presented there, and a lovely park in which to walk.
But of the greatest interest for us was Livadia Palace, bought in 1834 by Count Lev Pototsky. Later it became the residence of the Emperor Alexander II, and Alexander III died there. Here the imperial family of Nicholas II spent their summers. In February 1945 Stalin, Roosevelt, and Churchill gathered here for the famous Yalta Conference.
Mike seemed to be glued to the pictures depicting this life-changing event and only very strong force could move him on through the exhibit.
Then there were the ruins of the ancient city Chersonesus, which was a Greek colony in 528-529 years BC, and the Modern Botanical Garden, fresh and fragrant. Everything was so unusual and new for my American guest. America counts only two hundred years of history, therefore the history of Ukraine with thousands of years shocked him. Mike was surprised with the antiquity of our culture, that we were trying to protect it, and were really proud of it.
The weather was cold as always in autumn, but that didn’t stop us from visiting the world famous Swallow’s Nest Italian restaurant in Gaspra, housed in a chateau fantastique built in 1912, and the extraordinary Glade of Fairy Tales in Yalta, filled with the wooden statues of characters from our fairy tales. There it was a big challenge to somehow explain to Mike who was who among those figures.