by Nicole Dykes
He storms out of my room, but instead of turning left to go to his room, he goes right. Shortly after, I hear the front door slam shut and his car starting.
Great. I’m sure he’s going to Dani’s. Good job, Vanessa. Don’t just push him away. Drive him straight into the arms of someone who he could have actual feelings for.
Chapter 29
Dani
I drag my lips over the delicious V of Cam’s hips and then through the ridges of his sculpted abs.
He’s an asshole, and I shouldn’t be giving him the time of day. I know this, but I look into those dark, stormy blue eyes paired with that fucking smirk and I straight-up melt.
Yes, I’m that pathetic.
If only it were his hotness that gets me though. I’ve been with a lot of hot guys. It’s not just that, no matter how much I try to pretend it is.
It’s the fact that he’s easy to talk to. Seriously, he never judges. I can say I'd love to cut a bitch that pisses me off and he will just laugh and say something sarcastic, like that’ll get me a couple of years in jail.
Since I talked to him about my family that first day, I’ve slowly divulged more and more just lying in bed with him. With my head laying on his chest, we’ve talked about the only family member I actually liked, my grandma on my dad’s side, and how she passed away when I was ten. He knows how much I miss Cassie and how I’m scared to go back to school without her.
Now don’t get me wrong. We still have plenty of hot, dirty sex. We don’t talk for long and we don’t go into a lot of detail, but I enjoy talking to him.
So, of course it stung even more when he used me to make Van jealous and then just ran off after her like a lovesick puppy. He left me there for everyone to stare at me like I hurt their precious Van.
And to top it all off, I didn’t see him for almost a damn week until he showed up at my door today. He looked broken, but didn’t want to talk. He didn’t apologize.
Instead he kissed me. And it wasn’t really an “I want to fuck you” kiss, it was sweeter, slower. Like he wanted me to take away his pain.
So, I led him to my bedroom and here we are. His shirt is off, but other than that we are both fully clothed.
I want to heal him the only way we both know how, but as I let my tongue explore his chiseled muscles, it’s clear he isn’t into it.
I look down and can tell his cock isn’t even hard for me. I sigh and make my way up so I’m lying in the crook of his arm on my side. “What happened with you and Van?”
He groans and brings his other arm up to tuck under his head as he leans against the headboard. “The same thing that always fucking happens. She just shut down and won’t fucking talk to me.”
She’s the last thing I want to be talking about, but I know he needs to vent. “I thought guys didn’t want to talk about feelings,” I say honestly as I lazily trace the featherlight trail of hair from his belly button to the top of his jeans.
“I want to know why. I think she owes me that, but she’s hiding something.”
“Well, whatever it is, I’m sure you two will work it out,” I say, letting my hand rest on his chest.
He shakes his head. “I don’t think so. I’m over it. I’ve been following her rules since we broke up. And for fucking what? So, she will occasionally let me slip between her legs. Fuck that.”
I tense at that visual. Yes, I admit it, I’m fucking jealous. I manage to keep my tone neutral when I say, “You two are still sleeping together? I thought she put an end to that a year ago?”
He sits up straighter, and I pull my hand back and sit up with him. “She did. Because she calls all the fucking shots, but apparently she wanted to fuck with my head a little more.”
“Oh.” I try not to sound disappointed. I’m not naïve by any means, I know Cam sleeps around, and I’m no one to judge, but I was hoping he wasn’t still fucking her.
“Yeah. This isn’t me, Dani.” He turns to face me, his eyes full of frustration and a deep sadness. “I’m not some puppy she can put on a leash. I’m not even sure we can be friends anymore.”
Normally this would make me ecstatic, but I hate seeing him look so broken. I lean my head on his bare shoulder. “Everyone has that one person that fucks with their head, Cam. She’s yours.”
“Who’s yours?” he asks me and it takes me aback.
I guess we can share in each other’s misery. “Tanner, my high school boyfriend.”
“First love?” Cam asks.
I shrug. “I guess. First lay.”
He nods. “Ah. So, what happened?” he asks and settles back against my wooden headboard.
I play with my long black hair, nervous about opening up this much. This goes against all of my rules, but let’s face it, they’re probably moot anyway.
Maybe this will help him see me differently. Van won’t open up to him. But I will. “I thought I was in love with him.” Cam’s eyes widen in surprise. I’m sure he didn’t see that coming. I don’t seem like the type to fall in love, I know. “We dated all through high school, and I gave him my virginity, thinking he loved me too.”
Cam's expression grows dark with concern which makes me feel good. “He didn’t?”
“Not unless he showed it by fucking everything that moved in our school. He made me look like an idiot, which I guess I was.”
“Shit, Dani. You were young. That was on him.”
I shrug. “When I confronted him, he just said that life was too short to spend it fucking only one person and that I was stupid if I thought that was the case.
Cam runs his fingers through his hair. “Monogamy isn’t natural.” He says with a hint of irony.
“Yeah, I decided he was right. I never wanted to feel like that again, so I just started having fun. Using guys for their bodies only.”
And it was all going fine until I met Cam.
“I don’t blame you for not wanting to get hurt, Dani. It fucking sucks.”
I nod my head in agreement. “People suck.”
He grins, “Yep.” His head turns to me again. “You think you’ll ever try for the real thing again?”
My mouth just went dry. “I don’t know. I’m afraid of getting crushed,” I say with more raw honesty than I’ve let myself feel in a long time.
He looks like he’s going to lean in and kiss me and I want nothing more in that moment, but we both snap back at the sound of the front door opening downstairs.
“Shit. My parents must be home from their trip.”
Cam climbs off the bed and slips his shirt on. “Should I go?”
Please don’t. “You can if you want to. My mom’s just going to lecture me about not doing anything this summer. Like, why can’t I volunteer like my brother.”
Cam grins and leans down, supporting his weight on his hands. “So, let’s get out of here. Go get something to eat and then go back to my place.”
“I’m not allowed at your place.”
His expression is cold when he says, “I told you, I’m done with rules.”
I smile, unable to contain myself.
It’s on, bitch.
Chapter 30
Vanessa
I wake up and stare at my alarm clock. It’s not due to go off for an hour, but I’ve been awake for hours already.
I miss him.
Every single part of me misses Cam. Even arguing with Cam. He was gone for almost a week. Apparently, the night he stormed out he went to Hannah and Luke's and had been crashing there since. Hannah sent me a text that night asking what happened.
I told her everything like always.
I heard Cam come in last night, but he wasn’t alone. I have no idea who the chick is, but she’s a loud screamer in bed.
I didn’t get my headphones on quick enough to miss hearing her moans of pleasure coming from down the hall in Cam’s bedroom.
I guess this is what he meant about being done with the rules.
I wish he would talk to me instead of avoiding me. Maybe when his little fr
iend is gone we can sit down and figure out how to be actual friends. Maybe she’s gone already?
I force myself to climb out of bed and walk out into the living room. No sign of anyone, so I walk into the kitchen and I’m pretty sure my heart just stopped beating for a second.
No way. I literally do a double take because Dani is standing at the counter. She’s wearing one of Cam's t-shirts and it reaches past her knees. She’s so short.
“What the hell are you doing here, Dani?” I seethe in her direction, folding my arms over my chest in a defensive pose.
She shrugs her petite shoulders as she fills a coffee filter. “Last night? Cam. Now? I’m making coffee,” she says as she closes the lid and then starts to brew a pot of coffee. She the turns to me, looking smug as hell. “Seriously? You guys don’t own a Keurig?”
It takes all of my strength not to jump across the counter and smack the arrogant, bitchy grin right off her face. “Where’s Cam?” I ask, ignoring her question.
“Shower.”
I stomp off down the hall to the master bedroom and straight into the bathroom, a woman on a mission.
I jerk open the clear, glass shower door and a naked, wet and horrified Cam stares at me in shock, “Van? What the fuck?” He covers his junk with his hand and it’s actually nice to see him uncomfortable for a change.
“I’ve seen it all before Cam. What the hell is she doing here?”
The shock has worn off now and he drops his hands. He stands under the spray of the shower, letting the water rinse the shampoo from his hair. I try to ignore the way the water trickles down his tight chiseled body. “I’m assuming you mean Dani.”
“Who the hell else would I be talking about?” I bark.
He turns the water off and grabs a towel from the bar outside the shower. “Well it could be the crazy stalker chick you sicced on me. I keep expecting her to show up here.”
I smile proudly, but let it quickly morph into a vicious scowl. “You brought that on yourself. Now, why the hell is Dani in my kitchen?”
He dries off and steps out of the shower, wrapping the towel around his waist. “She was pretty spent last night, so she stayed over.”
“You promised me that she wouldn’t step foot in this house.”
He shrugs. “We promised each other a lot of things,” he says before walking out of the bathroom and into the bedroom.
I follow. “So, you’re doing this to hurt me? Is that it?”
He rolls his eyes at me, like I’m being ridiculous. “No, Van. Me fucking Dani actually has nothing to do with you. I like her.”
My turn to roll my eyes. “Please,” I scoff.
“It’s true. She’s sexy, smart, and funny.” He looks at me matter of factly, “All qualities you two share, but she’s also blunt as fuck and brave. She will actually talk to me.”
My heart is pounding so fast it feels like it could explode and I’m choking back tears, begging myself not to cry. Brave. Something I’m not. “I thought that was against her rules.”
He pulls a pair of boxer briefs out of his dresser drawer and slips them on, tossing the towel. “I think she’s changed her mind.”
I knew it. “So, what? You two are a couple now?”
As he pulls on a pair of jeans, fastening them, he says easily, “Not yet, but who knows.”
“So, she’s just going to sleep here now? After your promise.”
He nods, searching through his walk-in closet. “Probably.” He picks out a shirt and puts it on. “But really Van, why does it bother you? You just want to be friends remember? Friends don’t have rules like that. People who are just friends, couldn’t care less who the other one has staying over.”
“I hate her,” I say, livid.
He moves closer to me. Too close. God, he smells good. “And why is that, Van?”
I stare up into his eyes. We both know the answer, but there’s no way I’m going to admit it’s because of Cam. “She bitchy.”
“She’s strong willed,” he corrects.
I fold my arms over my chest, unable to believe that he’s defending her. “This is my home too, Cam. I shouldn’t have to see her.”
“Well, Van, I pay rent here too and I should be able to have anyone I want over. I told you, I’m done playing by your rules. We both know that’s not me.”
“Fuck you, Cam.”
He shakes his head. “Nah. We should probably be done with that. Honestly, for the time being we should just be roommates. That’s it.”
I feel the tears building up and I will not let him see me cry. I don’t say another word and haul ass through the house. I quickly slip on a pair of tennis shoes and then I go out the front door.
I’m still in my tank top and shorts, but I don’t care. I take off running, letting the warm summer air hit my face and dry my tears that I’m no longer able to control.
I need to escape the intense pain stabbing at my heart.
Chapter 31
Vanessa
I’m not sure how much time goes by before I reach Hannah and Luke's massive new house. I’ve only been here once but it’s not too far from the townhouse I share with Cam.
I ring the doorbell, and it doesn’t take long before my best friend answers the door, frantically. “Vanessa? Are you okay?” She takes in my appearance. I’m sure I’m a wreck. Red, blotchy eyes, wild hair and still in pajamas. Yeah, not my best look. “Did you run here?”
I nod, slightly embarrassed, but it’s Hannah. I know she won’t judge me. “Yes.”
“Jesus, Van,” she gasps.
I wave it off. “It’s only a little over two miles. No big deal.”
“Well, I'd be dead, but I guess that’s nothing to you. What’s going on?” She steps back gesturing for me to come inside. “Get in here.”
I follow her orders and walk into the nice foyer. “I lost him. For good. It’s over.”
She gives me a big hug and then pulls back, looking into my eyes, “Why do you think that?”
“He likes Dani now. He had her stay the night last night.”
“Well, that’s an asshole thing to do, but it doesn’t mean it’s over.”
“He likes her, Hannah. Like really likes her. I can tell and honestly, they make sense together. She could make him happy.”
Hannah loops her arm around me and leads me in the kitchen. She makes me a cup of coffee, adding creamer and sugar exactly the way I like it, and hands it to me. “You make Cam, happy. She’s just a plaything.”
I take a seat at their nice little glass table. “No. Not anymore. She’s shattering all of her rules and letting him in. She’s the anti-me. And Cam and I do nothing but cause each other pain.”
Hannah joins me at the table and looks at me nervously. “Have you considered telling him everything?”
I instantly shake my head. “No.”
“Van . . ..”
“No,” I interrupt. “That’s my past and it’s staying there.”
“You can’t let them win, Van. If you let what they did destroy your relationship with Cam, they do.”
“I don’t want him to be with me out of pity.”
She reaches across the table and holds my hand. “You have every reason to have trust issues, but I don’t get why you can’t be with Cam. I think we all know he didn’t cheat on you.”
“I was so quick to believe that he did. It’s obvious I don’t trust him, Hannah. It’s not his fault.” It’s hers. “But it doesn’t matter. I’m broken, beyond repair and he has a chance to be happy.”
“With Dani? That girl has her own issues.”
I take a sip of my coffee. “I think hers may be normal, teenage angst issues that will disappear with age. Mine run deep.”
Hannah sighs and then Luke walks into the kitchen. Fully dressed and ready for the day. “Van?” he asks, a baffled expression on his face. Then asks, “You run here?”
I nod. “Yep and I better get back.”
Hannah stands up and gives him a kiss. “Do me a favor?
Drop Van off at her place on your way to work.” She turns to me, “If that’s okay. I would, but I have a class. I could skip though.”
I laugh at that, Hannah does not skip class. She’s such a great friend. “No, it’s fine.” I focus on Luke, “And I can just run back.”
He shakes his head. “Nah, I’ll take ya. It’s no problem.”
I give in quickly, and after a quick goodbye to Hannah, I hop into Luke's car and he takes off toward the townhome.
“So, what did Cam do this time?” he asks.
“Nothing.”
“You know Hannah will tell me. Except with her, it will be in the context of why the hell am I friends with that asshole.”
I laugh, shaking my head. “Hannah likes Cam.”
“She likes you more.”
I sigh, giving in because I know he’s right. “He had Dani spend the night last night.”
He looks at me, shocked, before returning his eyes to the road. “What the fuck? In my house?”
I shrug my shoulders. Luke really doesn’t care for Dani either. “It’s not a big deal. I overreacted, but I should warn you, I think he’s got a thing for her.”
Luke scoffs. “Yeah, I know, and I’m sure she loves riding that thing, but not under my fucking roof.”
I scrunch my nose up. “Gross. Thanks for that visual, and I’m serious.”
“No way. He’s not into her. She’s just that easy girl he keeps around for when he’s feeling lazy.”
“Not anymore. He told me. He likes her. I think he could actually be happy with her.”
“Dani? Seriously Van, come on. She’s loud and opinionated as fuck, and sleeps around.”
I shake my head at him. “Sound familiar? That’s like half the people in the group. People you love.”
He glares at me for making that connection and then parks his car on the street in front of the townhome. “I still say its bullshit.” He turns to look at me. “Van, I’ve known him for four years and in all that time, I’ve never seen him happier than when he was with you.”
I smile sadly at him. “Cam is a naturally happy guy, with or without me.”