by Tara Wyatt
“We haven’t had much time to just…talk…with everything going on.” It went unspoken that, when they were alone, they were usually too busy going at it like teenagers to talk, but she felt the flicker of heat pass between them. She knew he was thinking the same thing.
“Why don’t we play firsts?” Sierra took another sip of her wine, looking at him over the rim of her glass.
“Firsts?”
“Yeah. First job, first kiss. That kind of stuff. Rock-paper-scissors to see who starts?” She held out her fist. He smiled in response, holding out his own much larger fist.
“One, two, three!” Her fist sprung open, making the symbol for paper, covering his rock. She closed her hand over his, letting her fingertips linger against his knuckles. Faint bruises were still visible from when he’d punched Jack, and she felt a tug deep in her stomach.
“Hmmm. So what do I want to know about Sean?” She leaned back in her chair and tapped her mouth with her fingers. “First job.”
He took a sip of his own wine before answering. “Washing dishes at a restaurant when I was sixteen. I really wanted a car, and I knew I’d have to save up for it myself.” He smiled, remembering. “God, what a shitty job that was. It was hot as hell, and a lot of the dishes were really gross. I had to wear these rubber gloves that smelled like old tires, and my hands got so sweaty they looked like overgrown prunes by the end of my shift.”
“Did you save up enough to buy a car?”
He nodded. “Yep. I became the proud owner of a 1987 mud-brown Chevette. It was a total piece of shit, but I loved that car. What was your first car?”
“Uh…well, I had a Mercedes CLK convertible.” She looked down into her wine for a second.
He let out a low whistle. “Nice.”
She shrugged. “I bought a car because all of my actor friends had cars.” She waved her hand dismissively. “First crush? Like, real crush. Not playground crush.”
He sat back in his chair and rubbed a hand over his mouth, remembering. “Laura Zimmerman. Freshman year of high school. She was cute. Blond. Sweet. It took me weeks to work up the courage to ask her to the movies. She ended up being my girlfriend for three whole weeks, which is pretty serious when you’re fourteen.” He winked at her, and she smiled, melting a little. “Same question to you. First real crush.”
“Steven Simmons.” She bit her lip, waiting for the reaction.
He choked on a laugh. “The guy who played your older brother Brian on Family Tree? Isn’t he gay?”
She blew out a breath and shook her head, laughing. “So, so gay. But twelve-year-old me wasn’t picking up on that. He was fifteen at the time, and I had this really intense crush on him. He was older, and he was so cute, and smart and cool. I think I was probably a pretty huge dork about it. First kiss?”
“Laura Zimmerman, again. We went to the movies, and I did the classic stretch and put my arm around her. It was pretty smooth, if I do say so myself.”
“Well, you did date for three whole weeks, so it must’ve been a pretty good move.”
He laughed. “OK, you. First kiss.”
She sighed and toyed with the stem of her wineglass. “It was actually while I was filming a scene for a TV movie. I was fifteen, and…to be honest, it’s always bothered me that this big moment happened while I was pretending to be someone else, with someone who didn’t even want to kiss me, for all I know. So technically that’s my first kiss, but I’m not sure if it counts. I guess it must.”
He laid a hand over hers. “Nah. I don’t think it counts.”
“Really?”
“It was acting, not real life,” he said gently. “What was your first real kiss?”
She could feel the heat rising in her cheeks. She hesitated for a second, but she knew she could open herself up to Sean. She wanted to. She wanted to show him all the different parts of her, and it was only fair, because she wanted to see all the different parts of him. “I won’t tell you his name, but I was sixteen and he was twenty-two. I was going through a rebellious phase, and we met at a club. We ended up dating secretly for a while. He was my first real, offscreen kiss, and my first…well, my first everything.”
“You won’t tell me his name?”
“He’s, like, crazy famous now. I probably shouldn’t.”
He scoffed. “Now you have to tell me. And then you have to tell me more about this rebellious phase.”
They fell into silence as the waiter set down their meals in front of them.
“He wasn’t really famous at the time. He’s Canadian, and he was on a sitcom that filmed in LA. He…” She looked around, making sure no one was listening. “He may or may not have been in a huge superhero movie that flopped several years ago. He’s married now, and has a daughter.”
“I think I know who it is, but I won’t say anything.” Sean paused, chewing and swallowing a bite of steak. “Is that something that you want?”
“You mean getting married and having kids?”
He nodded, his eyes holding hers, and she swallowed, hoping they were on the same page. She knew she’d come crashing down if they weren’t. So she took a deep breath and nodded. “Yes. Very much. Is that—”
“Me too.” He set down his fork and scooped her hand up, holding it across the table. He brought her hand to his lips and kissed her wrist. “For a long time, I thought I knew what I wanted out of life, but I know now that I was wrong.”
Her breath caught in her throat. “What changed?”
He caught her eyes, his gaze full of meaning. “You.” He kissed her wrist again before setting her hand back on the table, her entire body tingling with an awareness that was deeper than sexual.
She’d never experienced falling in love with someone like this before, each moment feeding into the next, making everything bigger and brighter and shinier until she thought it couldn’t possibly get better. And then it did. She wondered how many more untold levels she’d find with him.
“So this rebellious phase…” He leaned forward, his elbows on the table.
“I was working sixty-hour weeks, my dad was dying, and I had no freedom. So I went out and found some.” She told him a bit more about how she’d come to be involved in Choices and how she’d gotten sick of the toxic Hollywood environment.
“Have you decided if you’re going to do the audition?” he asked, slicing into his baked potato.
“I want to, if we can get the timing to work out. There’s so much going on with Choices right now that it’s a little tricky.” She took a bite of her chicken and swallowed before steering the conversation back on track. “My turn. First time you had sex.”
He took a sip of wine before he spoke. “I was seventeen, and my girlfriend and I snuck into the Hollywood Reservoir.” He shook his head, smiling ruefully. “It lasted about forty-five seconds, and while I thought it was awesome, it was probably pretty disappointing for her.”
“Well, I think it’s safe to say your skills have improved greatly over the years.”
“I should hope so.” He winked and signaled to the waiter for more wine. Thunder rumbled softly in the distance, and they started comparing favorite books, movies, TV shows, and music, finding things in common and teasing each other about the differences.
Even though they were doing things backward, it was the best first date Sierra had ever had.
* * *
Water lapped against the docks as Sean and Sierra walked around the marina, the air cooling significantly around them as the storm rolled in across the water. Palm fronds rustled quietly, and although he could practically smell the rain in the air, the last thing Sean wanted to do was bring the date to an end. With Sierra’s small hand tucked into his, he’d be perfectly content to walk like this with her for hours. He’d have been hard-pressed to believe it could feel so damn good just to be with someone, but now he knew better. He felt as though all the pieces of his life were falling into place, and it was all because of her.
She tugged him to a stop, and they s
at on the edge of one of the slips, their feet dangling above the water below. The soft floral scent of her perfume mingled with the night air, and he inched a little bit closer, wanting more.
“Will you tell me about your mom? About what happened?” Her voice was quiet, and she looked straight ahead, giving him the tiniest bit of space.
It wasn’t something he wanted to talk about, especially not tonight, but he also knew he owed her the truth. She had the dots of the story, and she wanted to connect them. In her shoes he’d probably feel the same way. So he ripped the bandage off, willing to show her his scars.
“It happened ten years ago. I was living in Fresno, playing for the Giants’ farm team. My mom came up to visit me, and that’s when the accident happened. We’d gone out to dinner, and I was driving us home. It was raining, and another driver ran a red light. I didn’t see him in time, and he smashed into us.” He swallowed. “Into the passenger side of the car. We were pinned against a lamppost, and I couldn’t get out of the car. My left leg was stuck, and I couldn’t reach her.”
Sierra’s hand had tightened on his, but she stayed silent, listening.
“I…she was three feet away from me, and I couldn’t save her. I couldn’t get to her to stop the bleeding. I let her die.”
“Oh, Sean.” Sierra’s voice was barely a whisper as she slipped an arm around his waist, and he leaned into her, taking the comfort she was offering. “It’s not your fault. I’m so sorry. You shouldn’t have to carry that.” She held him tighter. “I’m so sorry for putting you through all of this.”
He closed his eyes, waiting for the usual crush of pain, of guilt, of regret that came with thinking about that night, but it didn’t come. There was a distant kind of sadness, but nothing more, and he knew it was because of her. Because of Sierra.
“You have nothing to be sorry for, sweetheart.” He turned, his heart beating fast and hard in his chest, and kissed her. A loud thunderclap startled her, and she pressed closer to him. Even though his eyes were closed, he saw another flash of lightning burn through the sky. Raindrops, soft and warm, started to fall on them, and he broke the kiss.
“I think I’m in love with you,” she whispered, and he didn’t care that the rain was falling harder around them now. He crushed his mouth to hers and pulled her against him, amazed at how light he felt. How free.
“I think I’ve been in love with you since the day I met you,” he said, speaking the words against her mouth, not wanting to break the connection. She made a soft whimpering sound and kissed him back. She must’ve been able to feel his heart beating, it was going so crazy trying to leap free of his body and into her hands.
They sat on the edge of the dock, kissing as rain fell around them, and Sean felt both lost and found at the same time. Lost in her, but found with her, and he knew he never wanted to let her go.
Another clap of thunder echoed through the sky, and Sierra jumped again. He pulled her to her feet and, laughing, they ran down the dock and out to the street, where he flagged down a cab. They tumbled in, soaking wet, and his mouth didn’t leave hers the entire ride back to the hotel.
Chapter 25
The door to their hotel room had barely latched behind them before they began quickly shedding their soaking-wet clothing. Naked, Sean ducked into the bathroom and grabbed two of the fluffy white towels from the rack. He handed one to Sierra and then dried himself off, racing to finish before her.
Dry enough, he dropped his towel on the floor and then pulled her toward him with her own towel. He kissed her, rubbing his hands over her shoulders, over her arms, down her back. He worked the towel over her breasts and stomach, kneading her hips and pulling her against him so that his hard cock slid against the soft skin of her belly. She slid her hands up his chest and over his shoulders, and she made that quiet, humming purr that drove him crazy. He deepened the kiss, his mouth hungry against hers, and the now familiar urgency began to spread between them, so he gentled the kiss. He wanted it slow and sweet, wanted her begging for him as he made love to her as many times as she’d let him.
“Tell me again.” She trailed her lips over his prickly jaw, nipping at him in between words, and he knew exactly what she wanted to hear. He was happy to oblige.
He let her towel fall to the floor, and he pressed his lips to her neck, kissing and sucking. She shivered when he teased the spot below her ear with his tongue. “I’m in love with you, Sierra.” He kissed her again, a slow, sweet, lingering kiss.
She broke the kiss and threaded her fingers through his, guiding him to a sitting position on the edge of the couch in the suite’s living room. Holding his gaze, she sank to her knees in front of him. He looked down at her and ran a hand through her hair, his breath hitching in his chest. She kissed a path across his abdomen, starting at one hip and ending at the other. His erection twitched against her cheek, and she smiled, trailing her mouth over the muscles along his hip. She slipped her hand around his cock, her touch light and teasing, and she looked up at him, her beautiful green eyes glittering. “I’m in love with you too.”
Sierra feathered kisses over the tip of his cock, dragging her lips against him. He watched her, transfixed. She swirled her tongue around the head of his cock, and pleasure flared up his spine, heat pooling low in his gut. Cupping his balls with one hand, she stroked down his length and pressed the tip against her lips. In one smooth movement, she took him into her mouth as deep as she could, and a ragged moan tore from his throat.
She looked up at him again, and his heart unraveled at the sight of her on her knees in front of him, his cock filling her mouth. She pulled slowly back, a naughty grin on her face.
“Oh, fuck. Do that again.” His voice was rough, maybe even shaking a little, and his hands cradled her face.
She stroked him once before taking his length into her mouth a second time. He gathered her damp hair away from her face, holding it in a loose fist against the back of her head, encouraging her with the slightest pressure. She swirled her tongue over him, teasing and tasting. Gently massaging, she fondled his balls, and he was amazed he was still sitting upright. His vision narrowed and his muscles tensed under the intense pleasure. The wet heat of her mouth, coupled with the sight of her lips stretched around his cock, was almost too much, and heat fanned out across his skin.
Once more she took him as deep as she could, and a groan rumbled from his chest as she found a steady rhythm, through with teasing. The urge to pump his hips told him he was close, and he let go of her hair and squeezed her shoulders, pulling her up from her knees. Immediately his mouth was on hers.
She broke the kiss, her breathing heavy. “I wasn’t finished.”
“Not tonight. I want to come inside you.”
She smiled at him, biting her lip, and a fresh wave of arousal rolled through him. He scooped her up and cradled her against his chest, carrying her to the nearest bedroom in the suite. She looped her arms around his neck, and she kissed his chest, her mouth lingering over his heart, which felt as if it were about to burst.
He eased down onto the bed, still holding her, with his back against the headrest. She turned to straddle him, and they both let out a low moan when his cock slid against the slick flesh of her pussy. She settled against him, threading her fingers in his hair as they kissed. He’d never get enough of her mouth. She rocked against him, and he was about to push up into her when he remembered that the condoms were in his bag, which was still by the door.
She rocked against him again, her voice a breathy moan when she spoke. “Don’t make me wait, Sean. I’m about to lose my mind.”
Need pulsed through his veins, and he ground his hips up into her. “Condoms are in the other room. I’ll be right back.” He kissed her neck and then started to move her off him, but she shook her head.
“No.”
He pulled back, his eyebrows raised. “What?”
“I don’t want to use one. I’m on the pill.” She pulled back to look at him. “What do you think?”
“I want to feel you, Sean. I don’t want anything between us.”
“Fuck,” he groaned, his cock already in his hand. She lifted her hips, and he lined up the bare head of his cock at her impossibly hot, slick entrance.
She pressed her forehead to his, her eyes holding his as she slowly sank down onto him. They each let out a shuddering moan.
“Yes,” she hissed out, rocking up and then sinking down even farther. His hips rose up off the bed, and he closed his eyes, trying to center himself against the onslaught of intense pleasure rippling through him. She clenched around him, and he groaned, able to feel every pulse, the slick heat of her with nothing between them better than he could’ve imagined.
“You feel incredible inside me.” Her voice was soft and breathy, and throbbing pleasure radiated through him as she stretched to accommodate him. He kissed her, nearly overwhelmed by the intimacy of the moment.
He managed a low chuckle. “I don’t even have words for how good this feels.”
She kissed his neck. “And how right.” She rocked her hips, and he flexed his hips up, pushing deeper into her and drawing a long, loud moan from her. Their mouths met, and his tongue slid against hers in a rhythm that echoed the slide of his body into hers. His hands caressed her back as she moved against him, and he let go of everything he’d been holding on to. He didn’t have room to love her and carry the rest of the shit he’d been dragging around for so long.
And he chose to love her. Given the opportunity, he’d spend the rest of his life choosing to love her.
He ground deliberately against her clit every time he thrust into her, bringing her closer and closer, her muscles fluttering around him. Gradually their tempo increased, becoming faster and more frenzied until their skin glistened with sweat. Sierra shuddered and bucked her hips against him as she came, a refrain of “Oh, God, Sean,” falling repeatedly from her kiss-swollen lips. He thrust one final time, and his cock pulsed inside her as he came.