by David Pierce
'Sure I got a watch,' I said. 'Everyone's got a watch.' I showed him mine with some pride. It was a beauty I'd been given last Christmas.
'That's a watch?' he said scornfully. 'That's a watch I buy for sixteen dollars wholesale and sell in this store to tourists for forty-nine fifty. Who gave you that, an enemy?'
'No, a landlord,' I said, giving Elroy a dirty look.
'Here,' Mr Lubinski said, taking a jeweler's box out of his pocket and pressing it into my hands. 'Now you got a watch. Enjoy.' He slapped me on the back and moved away.
I opened the box and, like he said, now I had a watch. Slim as a philanderer's alibi, heavy as a broken heart. It didn't tell you the phases of the moon or do your income tax or tell you what time it was somewhere you didn't care about anyway, like Singapore, or wake you up with a snooze alarm. All it did was tell you what time it was in Los Angeles, California, and tell everyone else who saw it that under your frayed cuff you had a timepiece worth more than their family car. I hoped he wouldn't want it back when he got my bill.
I looked around for Evonne so I could show it to her but I spotted Sara first and that reminded me of something so I took her by one bony arm and led her out back, past Olivia and Emile, where I'd left a large box on a table when I'd first come in.
'Got a typewriter?' I asked her.
'Sure I got a typewriter,' she said. 'Everyone's got a typewriter. It's a wreck but it works.'
'Now you got a typewriter,' I said, gesturing eloquently towards the box. She gave me a disbelieving look, but opened up the carton. In it was one of those new Canons, the expensive ones, with the screen that lets you see a whole line before you enter it. It might have even had some memory capacity, how would I know. She stared at it, then jumped up and grabbed me around the neck and hung on, like I was some kind of tree.
'All right, all right,' I said. 'Don't crease your jeans.'
'All right yourself,' she said, untangling herself. Then she looked at me suspiciously. 'What's come over you all of a sudden? Win the lottery?'
'Oh, just a whim,' I said bashfully, scuffing my feet a bit. I didn't bother telling her where the money for her sensational and unexpected present had come from. Why should I, it was none of her Nosey Parker business. Even I wasn't supposed to know, officially, but I managed to figure it out. It was part of, let us say, a tenth of a check which Benny had mailed me a few days earlier. He claimed, nay, he swore til he was blue in the face that the money was a finder's fee for me setting him up with the gold deal, but I had my suspicions. I deeply suspected that when I sent him and Ricky to the plantation to lift a few Ks to frame Tommy with if we had to, those two had loaded up the Jeep with all the prime weed they could find, switched it to the camper, then Benny had peddled it for top dollar back in LA, no doubt paying off that pot-head Sara with a lid or two to keep her quiet.
But what could I prove? Also, if I kept Benny's check, it meant that I could give Ellena's check back to her, which I had already done, knowing how expensive new babies are. I really don't see I had any choice in the matter.
But that wasn't the last of the gift-giving. When I got back into the main room, the quiet, elderly gentleman whom nobody seemed to know, who had watched approvingly as Mr Lubinski had presented me with my new watch, came up to me and said, 'Excuse me, Mr Victor Daniel?'
'Right on,' I said. 'I don't believe I got your name.'
'Tony Garden,' he said with a gentle smile. 'I believe you know a business associate of mine.'
'Well, I haven't actually met him but I've heard a lot of good things about him,' I said. 'How do you know who I am?'
'Tsk, tsk,' he said, and gave another little laugh. So did I. Mine was deeply forced.
'You should be in my line of business,' I said.
'I'll take that as a compliment,' he said.
'It was certainly intended as one,' I said cravenly, hoping he wouldn't smile again because the more he smiled the less I liked it.
'By the way, I have a present for you too,' he said. 'And for Mr Lubinski. And for your friend Benjamin.'
'You really shouldn't have,' I said. 'I hope it's nothing extravagant, like half of Las Vegas.'
'Better,' he said. 'Peace of mind.' He smiled. 'For now.' He headed for the door. I headed for the bar.
Evonne took one look at me and said, 'You all right?'
'For now,' I said. 'Bartender, a brandy and ginger. Make it a double.'
Five weeks later Ellena was delivered of a baby, weight six pounds six ounces. For some reason, the proud parents named it after me – Victoria.
Well, close enough.