by Harper Bliss
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Nadia tried to keep her voice down while putting enough disgust into it to register.
“I always liked you Nadia. I have very fond memories of our night together,” Dievart said, making Nadia almost choke on the sip of wine she’d just taken.
“Just stop it. I know it’s probably hard for you, but try to show a modicum of decency and respect.” Nadia couldn’t believe that after Dievart had just joined the hospital she’d actually considered that, for a brief moment, she wasn’t that bad. She was just as terrible as everyone who knew her only in the slightest would confirm. She was a brilliant, beautiful egomaniac. The worst combination possible.
“It’s hard, Nadia,” Dievart said as she pinned her pale-blue gaze on Nadia. “After all, I’ve seen you in… quite a state.” She curled her lips into a grin that could not possibly be misinterpreted.
Rage was starting to boil inside of Nadia, but it wasn’t a blind, no-holds-barred kind of rage. Because at the same time, and to her own utter disgust, Nadia could understand why Claire had entered into an affair with this woman. It was for the same reason she had made that almost-fatal mistake so many months ago. Dievart had a sort of magnetism about her. As though waves emanated from her skin and created a force-field around her to which any mere mortal couldn’t help but be drawn. That night Dievart was so indulgently referring to, had been sensational. Despite Nadia’s firm belief that she had dealt with it and relegated it to the deepest confines of her mind, images of it now popped up in her head. Because Dievart always knew what she was doing and she did it well.
“I thought we had agreed to never talk about that night again. I’m a married woman now.” Nadia felt so foolish for saying these words. She didn’t need to say this. She could just walk away and let Dievart stew in her unsuccessful attempt at unsettling Nadia—if only it had been unsuccessful.
“I know we did, but seeing you tonight, I couldn’t help but think about it. You look very good in that dress. So, you know, sue me for digging up a beautiful memory.”
I just might sue you, Nadia thought. How far would Dievart have to go before she could file a sexual harassment complaint? But it would never hold because Nadia had wanted her that night. Dievart had sensed it and made her move and Nadia had let her.
“Well, I would really appreciate it if you never brought it up again.” She wanted to add, ‘And if you think you’re ever going to get me back into your bed you’re sorely mistaken,’ but she didn’t want to say these words out loud in a room full of her co-workers.
“Message received loud and clear,” Dievart said, but kept her eyes on Nadia’s, giving the impression she had no intention of laying off trying to charm her. “How’s Claire?”
“Claire is fine.” Nadia knew there was only one way to stop this. “Can we step outside for a second.”
“I thought you’d never ask.” Dievart still wasn’t ready to drop the act. “It will be my pleasure.”
Nadia headed towards the door immediately, not looking back, and, with pounding heart, hoped that Dievart would swiftly follow her. Nadia walked to the end of the corridor, hearing Dievart’s footsteps behind her, then turned around.
“Do you really think any of that bullshit will work on me again? I could not be less interested in you. And I can assure you that Claire feels the same way. If anything, you betrayed her by blatantly letting me know you and she had something going. Claire wants nothing to do with you and, lucky for her, she has the luxury of not having to work with you.” Nadia was out of breath.
“You know what works best on me, Nadia? Do you know how I know someone’s not interested in me the way I am in them?” She leaned her shoulder against the wall. “By their indifference.”
Nadia shook her head. “For a brain surgeon, you seem to have a lot of things wrongly wired in your own brain,” Nadia said. “You only hear what you want to hear, not caring who you hurt or upset in the process. Now step off.” Nadia locked her gaze defiantly on Dievart’s, wanting to make clear once and for all she should steer clear of her and her friends. God, if only Margot’s plan of getting rid of her would work. But Margot seemed to have abandoned that plan altogether.
“Fine.” Dievart still had that annoying smile on her lips, but she did actually take a step back. “I’ll see you tomorrow then.”
Nadia didn’t give any more response and walked off. She briefly went back into the reception room, said her goodbyes, and went home to Juliette.
✶ ✶ ✶
“Are you okay, babe?” Juliette asked, after Nadia had entered the flat and gone straight for a bottle of wine, opened it, poured herself a glass, and only then said hello to her wife.
“I’ll be fine. You know I hate these hospital board parties I can’t get out of.”
Juliette rose from the sofa and walked towards her. “I know you’re not very fond of them, but you usually don’t come home gagging for a drink like this.” Juliette grabbed a glass off the shelf and put it next to the bottle. “I’ll have some as well, please.”
Nadia poured Juliette some wine, which only made her think of how Dievart had offered her a glass earlier, and how her finger had lingered, and how she could not possibly talk about this to Juliette. Or could she? No, she couldn’t. Or should she try? Test the waters? See if they had evolved enough to put Nadia’s pre-marriage transgression behind them? Probably not with all this stuff going on with Claire right now. But perhaps it could be an opening to talk that through a bit more as well.
“Babe? Ba-abe?” Juliette said. “Please tell me what’s going on? I’m getting worried.”
“It’s Dievart. She was on my case all night and aggravated me greatly,” Nadia blurted out.
“Oh, Christ, I really can’t get a break from that woman.”
“Jules, I really need you to not make this about yourself for once.” It came out a bit harsher than Nadia had anticipated. She’d also had too much to drink, which didn’t help with expressing her message in the right way.
“Well, excuse me,” Juliette said, then sighed. “Let’s sit down and talk about this then.”
After she sat down, Nadia took another large gulp of wine, and so did Juliette.
“I’m sorry we have to talk about her,” Nadia said. “But, Jesus Christ, that woman is sick in the head.”
“What did she do?” No matter how upset Nadia was, she still detected an edge to Juliette’s voice.
Nadia gazed into her glass for a second before replying. This was beginning to sound a lot like the only other conversation she and Juliette had ever had about Dievart that had not been a confession. Juliette had broken out into a jealous fit and Nadia had sorted her out—mentally and physically—once and for all. Would tonight have the same ending? Again, Steph’s words flashed in her head. Quickly followed by the real reason she and Juliette hadn’t been that close of late. They weren’t on the same wavelength. They wanted different things. It was hard just setting that aside, rolling into bed, and having great sex.
“She hit on me,” Nadia said. “When I blew her off, she started asking about Claire. I had to actually take her outside and tell her to back the fuck off.”
“She hit on you?” There was anger in Juliette’s voice now.
“I swear to you, Jules. It had nothing to do with anything I said or did. The woman is just completely delusional. She truly believes that all she has to do is snap her fingers and everyone will roll over.”
“Because everyone does,” Juliette said.
The feeling of not being on the same wavelength as her wife was not helped by Juliette’s ability to make everything about herself. Although, of course, she did have a fair point where Dievart was concerned. It was always going to be a touchy subject.
“Look, Jules, I’ve told you again and again that what happened between her and me didn’t mean anything. Besides, it’s in the past. We’re married now. It might as well have happened in another lifetime.”
“Oh yeah?” Nadia had k
nown this was a bad idea, but just for once she’d wanted to talk about something that bugged her. “Then why did she get under your skin like that?” Juliette asked.
“Because that’s what she does, Jules. It’s how she operates.”
“Only a few days ago I asked Claire the exact same thing. Can someone please explain to me what it is about Marie Dievart that makes everyone fawn over her? Does her stare hypnotize women or something? I just don’t get it. What’s so fucking special about her?”
Once you let her inside your head, she lingers, Nadia thought, but would never say out loud. She should actually talk to Claire about this. They could start their own Victims-of-Marie-Dievart support group. But Nadia hadn’t spoken to Claire since she’d run into her and Margot on the street the previous Sunday. Claire wasn’t her life-long best friend like she was Juliette’s, but Nadia had lost a friend, too. She figured that, perhaps, she’d been a bit hard on Claire. She would call her tomorrow and arrange to meet her.
“Nothing, really. It’s just the way she carries herself.” The only way out of this dead-end conversation that Nadia shouldn’t have started was to change the subject as soon as possible. “How are you, Jules? How are things at the office?”
“Faking it until I make it,” Juliette said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “At work and at home.”
“Maybe we should go to bed,” Nadia said, because she knew there would be no more talking to Juliette tonight. Dievart had ruined the rest of her evening as well. She had to hand it to the surgeon, when she set out to upset someone, she really did a stellar job.
CLAIRE
“I really appreciate you calling me, Nadz,” Claire said.
“I know,” Nadia replied. “That’s why I did it.” She shot Claire a small smile. Claire knew what a hangover looked like and it was staring right back at her.
Claire had jumped at Nadia’s lunch invitation, but had been surprised when Nadia had ordered a bottle of rosé with her meal.
“I hate to break it to you, but you don’t look so well today,” Claire said.
“I took the afternoon off. Some days, you know?” Nadia rubbed her temples. “Do you want some?” She reached for the bottle in the ice-bucket and held it up.
“One glass. I need to get back to the office in one piece.” She smiled at Nadia encouragingly. “What’s going on?” Had Juliette sent Nadia to pass on a message Juliette couldn’t give herself?
“Just… everything. Having to work with Dievart and having to tip-toe around Jules when it comes to that.” She showed her palms. “Which I understand, I do, but you know Juliette… If only she made a tiny bit of an effort to see my point of view. And we have the follow-up ob-gyn appointment tomorrow and I think she’s going to go off the deep end and, the way I feel now, I feel like jumping right off there with her.”
“That’s a lot,” Claire said. Of all of them, Nadia had always been the most mature, the one they all turned to in times of need, the one who held their group together. “Let’s start at the beginning. Tell me about Dievart.” Claire didn’t specifically ask about Dievart because she wanted an update on her, though she was a little curious, but more because she was the only one who could truly understand Nadia when it came to the neurosurgeon.
“There’s something about her,” Nadia mused. “I can’t put my finger on it.” She locked her gaze on Claire. “I know you and Jules are hardly on speaking terms right now, and I do hope that changes soon enough, but what I’m about to say stays between us, okay?”
This made Claire even more curious. “Of course, Nadz, that goes without saying.” Nadia always did this. As if the pair of them weren’t allowed to have secrets between them, little things they didn’t tell anyone else that only pertained to them. They were friends too. The fact that Nadia was sitting here was the best proof of that.
“I loathe the woman. I truly, sincerely do. Being in the same room with her sends chills up my spine, but… when she looks into my eyes in that way she has, and lets her finger wander over mine the way she did last night, as much as I hate to admit it and as much as I hate myself for it… it does something to me. And the worst thing is that she knows it.”
“Oh fuck, Nadz,” Claire said. She felt as though Nadia had become a neurosurgeon herself, cracked open her skull and had a good look into the workings of her mind—the weakest, most impressionable part of it. “I know exactly how you feel.”
“It’s not that I would ever want to sleep with her again. I’m not that stupid. It’s not even about that. It’s just something about her that makes her irresistible. What is it, Claire? We’re two smart women. I thought between the two of us we could try to figure it out.”
“It’s a feeble excuse, but it’s also the exact reason why I couldn’t quit her.” Claire had not been able to talk about this to anyone. Nadia was the last person she’d expected to confide in, but she was, for obvious reasons, also the most logical person to hear and understand what she was about to say. “The reason why she’s so spectacular in bed isn’t because she has any sort of special secret move designed to drive women crazy. It’s how she is. One look and I was, er, so, so wet, Nadz. So bloody eager. It was unbelievable.”
“It can’t just be that she’s so overly confident that it directly translates into making us, mere mortals, believe without a shadow of a doubt that she’s going to make us come like never before. It doesn’t really work like that now, does it?” Nadia said.
“Juliette asked if she was—and I quote—a ‘pussy whisperer’.” Claire had to giggle. This conversation was at the same time cathartic and ridiculous.
Nadia burst out into a giggle as well. “Look at us, Claire. We are two grown women. We sound like teenage girls worshipping Angelina Jolie. Or no, a teenage girl wouldn’t worship Angelina Jolie… Actually, I have no earthly idea who a teenage girl would adore these days.”
“I think we should plead temporary insanity. The pussy whisperer put us under her spell and we were defenseless,” Claire said. “It’s the only viable explanation.”
Nadia narrowed her eyes, before speaking. “Speaking of being put under a spell. A motorcycle? Really?”
“What’s wrong with that?”
Nadia just slanted her head and narrowed her eyes even further. Apparently she was done talking about Dievart.
“I just wanted to give her something that would adequately express my gratitude,” Claire said. “I didn’t mean anything else by it.”
“Perhaps you didn’t, but it does convey quite a bit.” Nadia took a generous gulp from her wine.
“Margot hasn’t said anything about that.” In fact, they had continued the routine they’d established the week before. Claire was still staying with Margot and every night she went home to her. Actually…
“Of course, Margot hasn’t said anything. This is Margot de Hay we’re talking about, after all.”
“Why don’t you just tell me flat-out what it is you’re trying to say, Nadz.” Maybe Claire needed someone to tell her to her face, because she couldn’t possibly allow herself to come to that conclusion on her own.
“According to Steph, you’re two weeks away from professing your undying love to her.”
“Steph? What does Steph have to do with this?” Claire was confused, but also rattled because of what Steph had apparently said. Had they been talking about her behind her back? Of course they had. “Who else did she say this to?’
“To me and to Margot.” Was Nadia gloating? Was this a joke to her? It did sound quite absurd. But Claire had genuinely only wanted to do a really nice thing for Margot. She hadn’t meant anything by it. Not on a conscious level anyway. Wait. What had Nadia just said? Steph had said this to Margot.
“What did Margot have to say about that?” A fiery blush burned Claire’s cheeks.
“She said that you had discussed it—whatever ‘it’ may be—and that you had both decided that you could only ever be friends. That you’ve tried enough.”
“Oh.” Claire suddenly
felt very deflated. Though she had no reason to, because she had in fact had that conversation with Margot and they had drawn that exact conclusion. “All true,” Claire said. Could she confide in Nadia? Should she tell anyone at all about those recurring flashes of passion she’d been feeling for Margot? Wouldn’t that make them too real to deal with? Or would it take the power out of them because they were no longer secret?
“I’ve been stupid, Nadz. I needed Margot to nearly die for me to forgive her. I mean, how bloody short-sighted am I? And now I’ve forgiven her. I never even think about Inez Larue anymore because I’m just so glad Margot is alive. And then, when I was, uh, sleeping with Dievart, I couldn’t possibly face her. As though, if I were to go and visit her while she was convalescing, she would see right through me, and it would make me snap out of it. Come to think of it, I should have done that, then I wouldn’t be in this stand-off with Jules right now. My point is, I’ve treated her in a way she did not deserve to be treated, and then this whole thing blew up, and she was there for me, Nadz. And that meant so much to me. And, well, yes, now I find my mind considering the possibility, you know… My mind wanders into that direction. But we have so much history now, and Margot has made it very clear that she only wants to be friends. So, you know, it doesn’t really matter how I feel. Either way, it’s different this time around. It isn’t this huge wave of passion like after we’d just met. Perhaps I’m just confusing friendship with something else. All I know is that when she has the evening shift like last night, I don’t feel like going home much. And when I say home, these days, I mean Margot’s flat.”