I beeline for the coffee machine and tried to overt my eyes from the stove, not wanting to see Lydia naked this early in the morning, or ever.
"Good morning," said Robert, chipper voice as smooth as honey.
I stopped and looked at the stove. Lydia wasn't here; Robert had a spatula and two plates out with a smattering of breakfast goodness on each of them. I looked around the living room for signs of life but didn't see anyone.
"Lydia stay over?" I asked, not wanting a particular answer.
"Lydia?" asked Robert, "Oh, no - she had something to do this morning. I stayed here last night. I thought it might be time we caught up on some things,"
"Oh?" I asked, taking the full cup of hot and delicious coffee he offered me.
"We left so many things unsaid," said Robert, flipping a pancake.
He caught the pancake in the air with a plate and smiled, handing the plate to me. I had no idea who this person in my kitchen could be but it couldn't be the Robert I knew. He didn't make breakfast and didn't talk about things left unsaid. He actually mastered the art of the unsaid word.
"Is that so?" I asked, still cautious as I dumped a river of syrup on my plate and began to munch on the breakfast he had made.
"How have you been?" he asked, "Are you and that one guy pretty serious now?"
He turned away from me, fussing with the stove and pouring more pancake batter in the pan. I took a slurp of my coffee. Did he want to try again? Could it just be wishful thinking? I didn't want to risk it and find out he wanted to get back together but I had gone 'off the market' which is exactly why I hadn't wanted to date Sebastian to begin with. I knew I should have just stayed home and waited for him to get bored with Lydia. Flings never last forever, right?
"I wouldn't say we're serious, exactly," I tried to find better words to describe Sebastian and I, "I suppose...friends is a good way to describe us. We're close friends, not serious, not a relationship,"
Robert flipped another pancake and looked at me, smiling the biggest smile he had ever given me.
"Wow," said Robert, "It's just crazy that you're not that serious,"
He kept that smile plastered on his face, continuing to flip pancakes. He had about six pancakes on his plate now for some odd reason.
"I don't know why that's crazy," I said, "I told Sebastian that I was not looking for another relationship,"
I could feel my heart fluttering. It could be the coffee or the prospect that Robert might be considering getting back together.
"I don't know many men...any, actually," he said, "That buy cars for someone they're not in a relationship with,"
I looked at him sideways, confusing setting in.
"What are you talking about, I still drive my same old car," I set down my coffee and smiled back at him now.
I had no idea what would give him the idea that Sebastian would do something as outrageous as buy me a car. The thought was ludicrous.
"So, the white sports car downstairs with the giant red bow on it," said Robert, eyebrows up as though there could be no denying what he was talking about, "you have no idea where it came from and why it has a giant tag on it with your name?"
If I had coffee in my mouth I would have spit it out. I leapt up from where I had been sitting at our breakfast counter and raced to the window that looked out on our street. Sure enough, there was a white sports car with a giant red bow and tag that said "To Prussia, With Love," and it was not a small bow.
"Oh my goodness," I said, hands up over my mouth that was hanging open.
"Tell me again," said Robert, peering over my shoulder as he had apparently followed me from the kitchen, "how you're not that serious?"
The only thing I could think was that there had to be a perfectly logical explanation. But before I could offer a few, there was a nock at the door. I looked at Robert, who looked at me, and we both went to see who it was. Robert opened the door and didn't bother asking any questions. He just swung the door opened wide and went into the kitchen area. There stood Sebastian, smiling at me and holding up a set of car keys.
"Ready to go test drive your new car?" asked Sebastian.
I jumped up and down and started screaming. I couldn't help it. Logic said I should tell him to take it back, not to take such an elaborate and over the top gift but who turns down a new car, and a beautiful sports car at that?
"Hang on," I said, extremely animated as I held my hands up as if I could freeze him in his place, "Don't move, I am going to go change,"
I raced to the bedroom to find something reasonable to wear and run a comb through my hair. I must have spent five minutes getting ready and by the time I got back to the door I knew it had been 4 minutes too long. The atmosphere had changed though my excitement remained.
"Ready to go?" asked Sebastian, a smile on his face but not as wide as it had been.
I looked back and forth between Sebastian and Robert a few times. I hesitated. Something had happened while I had been changing. I wasn't sure what had happened but something had definitely been said. Robert didn't look at me from where he sat, eating his stack of 8 or more pancakes.
"We'll talk later?" I asked Robert.
Robert gave me a little wave, still not looking at me. I wanted to ask, wanted to find out why he had suddenly become so distant, but I had a brand new car waiting for me downstairs. Sebastian held those keys up and jingled them. I resented the feeling like I was being taunted with a dog toy but was still elated to hear the jingle in reality. My eyes lit up and I decided there would be time enough to talk to Robert about our relationship after I took a test drive of my new car.
I reached out to grab the keys and Sebastian held them just out of reach.
"First one there gets to drive," he said, a playful look on his face.
I felt that familiar spark in my heart when that mischievous look flashed at me. We hadn't said much about what had happened in the hallway but I had forgiven him and he had mostly been content with Lydia being furious, not asking that many questions. I accepted his challenge and took off for the elevator.
"Close the door," I shouted over my shoulder, knowing that it gave me an unfair advantage.
I punched the button to close the elevator doors, bouncing as I wanted the doors to close more quickly, certain he would sneak in at the last minute. But as the doors closed and there was still no sight of Sebastian.
I wondered if he was still standing there with Robert. Perhaps I should have asked what had happened while I had been changing. Maybe there had been more tension there than I had realized. The last thing I needed was two men fighting over me.
I thought about waiting until the elevator came back down but decided I wanted to make sure I drove my new car first. I walked out to the street and leaned on the hood of the beautiful car. And it could only be described as beautiful. Anything else wouldn't do it justice. The white paint glistened and the curves of the metal body streamlined in a way that said it had been built with speed and luxury in mind.
"Maserati," said Sebastian.
I turned around to see him saunter across the little stretch of grass in front of the building. He tossed the car keys to me and I caught them.
"What?" I asked.
"Maserati," he said again, "It's the car that suits you best. Grandmamma said you needed a company car and wanted me to pick something for you. This is what I chose. I hope you like it,"
"Like it?" I asked, "I love it, it's beautiful! It's amazing!"
I wrapped my arms around him and gave him a big hug. His arms wrapped around me as soon as I was on him and he picked me up from the ground and spun me around, letting my feet dangle a little. We both smiled at each other and then I felt awkward, looking up for a second and wondering if Robert was watching. Sebastian must have noticed that my smile faltered because he set me back on the ground and I smoothed my outfit out.
"Ready for a ride?" he asked.
"Are you?" I asked, excited to try her out, "Where should we go?"
W
e both got in the car and fastened our seatbelts quick.
"Hmm," he said, "How about Las Vegas?" he asked, a wink in his eye.
"No," I said, laughing at him, "You're so silly. Where else?"
"We could start small," he said, "You could drop me off at the house. I didn't have any of the staff follow me so I don't have a ride back,"
"That'll be perfect!" I said, "I love the winding roads to the house."
And in that moment we smiled at each other and my heart didn't flutter, my knees didn't melt. I just felt happy. I felt like everything in the world was right. This is what perfection felt like. And I immediately followed that feeling with regret. I looked up at our apartment window one last time as I pulled away from the curb and onto the street. Somehow I knew that Robert was watching. I couldn't see him but I knew. And it made me sad because that used to be me and I knew how it felt to be the one watching.
Chapter 19
Just thinking about Sebastian's lips on mine had the power to make me breathless. And what's worse, I had run out of my apartment without even thinking about why I did all of this to begin with. He dangled those keys, his sexy body filling up that door frame and I ran out the door without a second look at Robert. I knew I had messed up. I just didn't know how badly. By the time I got back from dropping off Sebastian at the house I still had hope that he would be in the apartment, waiting as I had all those times.
I wanted to leap out of the elevator and bolt down the hallway when it stopped on our floor but I contained myself. Mostly, my nerves were ruining me. I couldn't help but fidget every time the elevator signaled a floor being passed. Anxiety has never been something I handled well. And here I seemed to be signing up for it.
By the time I got to the apartment I already had my key out and was prepared to fling the door open and profess my love and apologies. What did a car mean compared to what Robert and I had worked at for so long? We were supposed to get married, start a family and be each other's happily ever after. If he would give up Lydia I would give up Sebastian without hesitation. If he would give up Lydia.
And who should I find in our apartment? Silence and a note. I left the door swinging wide open and snatched up the note as soon as I saw it. A quick skim and I summarized that he couldn't wait on me any longer - he had gone to work.
I crumbled up that familiar lined yellow paper and tossed it back onto the kitchen counter. When I turned around the last thing I expected to see was Lydia in a slinky black dress and heels. But there she stood, giving me a look that would kill if it could.
"What do you want Lydia?" I asked, no patience and all attitude.
"New car?" asked Lydia.
"Sure is," I said, letting a bitchy smile cross my lips, "Sebastian picked it out just for me,"
I knew her button now and I was going to press it until she short circuited. Because after the wedge she had driven between Robert and I, she deserved every bit of it.
"You're not his type," said Lydia, walking slowly with a dramatic click every time a heel hit the hard floor, "He's just using you to get me back,"
"Is that so?" I asked, "How's that working out?"
I gave her all the pent up frustration I could, hitting the bitch-o-meter with every syllable that fell out of my mouth. Maybe driving around for an hour in a Maserati that I got to call mine had made me bold or perhaps the fact that karma had finally called on Lydia to roost but I just loved rubbing every bit of it in her face.
"If you know what's good for you you'll make sure it works out," said Lydia, arms crossed in front of her and her legs spread in a gladiator type stance.
If her feet were any farther apart her dress would snap up and it would turn into a shirt instead of an overly stretched shirt length dress.
"You're problem," I said, waving a dismissive hand at her and realizing immediately I had never done that to anyone before and wondering where I had picked it up, "Not. Mine."
I gave her my best bitch stare. Honestly, when she started walking toward me with the look of death in her eyes I couldn't imagine my bitch stare was worth that much anger. It wasn't as if I had honed in on this skill or practiced at all. She had a hotter temper than I had realized. I braced myself for whatever crazy she decided to bring to me, in my own kitchen.
"You think you're better than me?" she yelled at me, her face lit up in fury and that was when I knew we had hit the limits of Lydia and had passed right into crazy-town territory.
I thought I would try to brace myself but my courage failed me at the last second, taking two quick steps backwards right into the kitchen counter.
She wrapped a hand around my throat and squeezed. I instinctively placed my hands up to my throat to try and pry her fingers away from my throat. I would manage to get one or two fingers bent backwards and then she would readjust her grip. If anything it annoyed her but I couldn't breath and was starting to get desperate.
I started pulling at her arms, feeling only a slight bow as I tugged. She had to be racing with adrenaline and extremely mad because she had terrifying strength. When she placed both her hands around my throat and lifted me up off the ground, head against the upper kitchen cabinets, and then I started to panic.
This wasn't your high school scuffle. She wanted me dead and if I didn’t fight she might succeed. As she lifted me off the ground I could feel my feet swinging and I did the only thing I could. I kicked. I kicked over and over again as if I were swimming for an Olympic medal. I felt faint, the dizziness closing in on me when I reached my true point of desperation. I could hear her voice.
"You're going to leave Sebastian alone," she was yelling at me, starting to bang my head into the cabinet, "You're going to leave him alone or I'm going to make your little Robert disappear and make you a non-factor, bitch,"
I dug deep. I had nothing left. I felt my consciousness slipping and I wasn't going to die like this, in a kitchen, at the hands of Lydia - the home wrecker that stole my man and ruined my life.
I grabbed on to her arms, her hands still squeezing around my throat, and I pulled both my legs up. Pulling my knees tight to my chest, I pushed them as high up as they would go with as much force as I could gather. She had been so close to me that when my knees came rocketing up between us they nailed her square in the chin and she went hurling backwards.
I fell and landed on the floor with a thud. It hurt but I could breath. I crawled as quickly as I could, each gasp for small amounts of air audible, and made my way toward the back part of the kitchen. Lydia had just rolled over and started to get up off the floor.
My lungs were on fire, my throat didn't want to behave and it was hard to breathe at all still. I felt like I was drowning in too much and not enough air at the same time. I couldn't breathe a moment ago and now I had so much air to breath I couldn't slow down my gasp and in danger of hyperventilating. I forced myself up, off the floor, and got to the sink.
I could hardly think clearly but I knew one thing - Lydia meant to hurt me and I meant to live. I sunk my hand into the sink full of dirty water and bubbles and my hand came up with a sharp carving knife. I kept it for carving turkeys once a year on Thanksgiving but it seemed like a perfect multi use knife for this situation.
I could feel the water dripping off the knife as I turned my body to face her, eyes never having left her at all. She stood near the entrance to the apartment and for a moment I thought she would leave. Then in a blink of an eye she came for me and I felt my fight or flight kick in. I wasn't going to run. I had done a lot of running lately. If she wanted me dead she would need to realize I wasn't going to lie down and let her beat me.
If I needed any more proof that karma was on my side it was evident in the next split second. Lydia ran toward me and I stood ready to fight in my kitchen with a soaking wet knife dripping a puddle of dirty dishwater around me. I watched as her pretty heels hit that kitchen tile and before I saw anything else I saw the recognition in her eyes.
She slipped and she fell right toward my knife. That moment is
when karma gave me a nod because she careened right toward my knife in hand. Sometimes when you have only a split second to decide something your gut and morals take over. There isn't enough time to think. You simply react.
And as her face turned from homicidal rage to a look of shock, horror and fear I realized that I wasn't the person standing before her. It wasn't who I am and wasn't someone I wanted to be. Of course, I didn’t have time to process all of this until after I lifted my hand up and moved the knife out of the way of her face. It didn't mean I didn't want to kill her as she had just tried to kill me. But it certainly made me feel a little better about myself when she slid right into the kitchen cabinets so hard she knocked herself out.
I looked down at Lydia, her pitiful self in a horrible display with her dress askew and her little bit of clothing soaking up the dirty dishwater that had made her slip. I realized that I still had a knife in my hand and to anyone else this would look extremely bad for me. I felt happy that she had actually knocked herself out and I hadn't had to do a single thing to her but in general the fear over what had just happened overwhelmed me beyond any other emotion. What the hell had I gotten myself in to? Lydia just tried to kill me. What do I do next?
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