by Lauren Wood
***
“It is good to see you baby.”
She kissed me on the lips after she opened the door. I could tell right away that something was different. Carol was kissing me like she had the first time months ago. There was passion and need in the kiss, both things that I wasn’t ready for. I didn’t do well going down that route. It made everything too intense and I pulled away before more could happen. I felt like it was going to get out of hand if I let it.
“It is good to see you too Carol. How was your day?”
The woman took my coat as I moved into her house. It was clean and tidy like always, but now the place was filled with the smell of dinner.
“Pretty good. I just missed you today Steve. How was your day? You sounded a little stressed out when I called earlier.”
“Oh, it’s nothing. Clients are just getting scared, but I am used to it by now.”
She didn’t even pretend to care what it was I did for a living. I didn’t blame her, it wasn’t the most riveting work, but there was a big part of me that loved the chaos and the risk. The rest of my life was so safe and secure, it was nice to have some time that it wasn’t.
“Well you are going to prove them wrong, I am sure of it.”
I agreed with her, but I was too busy looking at the red dress she was wearing. It was shorter than usual and like her kiss, there was a way that she was swaying her hips that I swore she was doing on purpose. I was seeing a whole other side of Carol and I wasn’t sure what to think of it. She had always been okay with taking things slow, but if I didn’t know any better, I would think that all of that had changed. Maybe she wasn’t interested in doing it my way anymore. Here I was worried about her wanting to leave me, but it looks like it was because of something altogether different. If she was a cat, she would have been in heat and I couldn’t stop the reaction from her need. It was palpable in the air.
“I will. Um, it smells good.”
“I am sure you will like it. It is one of my grandmother’s best recipes.”
I couldn’t really think, all of the blood draining from my body. I didn’t want to go down this road with her. Everything would change and it would all be ruined. I liked it how it was and even though I was solid as a rock, I moved into the kitchen away from the beautiful woman that was ready to give me everything that kept me up at night. That seemed wrong in so many ways.
Moving to the stove, I opened the lid to see what it was that smelled so good. I couldn’t identify half of it, but it did smell good and I hoped that it tasted half as good as the aroma suggested.
“So what is this?”
Carol looked put-off a little bit and I had a feeling that it was because of the fact that I wasn’t paying attention to her hot body. She moved with such determination that it was obvious that she wanted me to notice. I did, far more than I wished I had, but that didn’t matter. What mattered was me keeping my cool and not putting my hands where they so desperately wanted to be.
“Just a stew. I don’t think it really has a name. She made it every Sunday after church. Just kind of tradition that I thought you might like. Are you ready to eat?”
Her eyes tried to find out what was wrong. She wanted to ask me if I didn’t like the dress, or her, something, but I looked away like I had many times before and told her that I was famished. I was in desperate need of many things that I was sure she would have no problem satisfying.
We sat down and it was quiet for a while. Carol told me about her friend at work Mona, the one that I heard a lot about, but she sounded like a floosy. It was hard to imagine how the two had become friends when they were so far away from each other in actions and attitude. Mona sounded like a mess and even though I knew that Carol had been wild before we met, I shuddered to think of her as bad as her friend.
After dinner, there was dessert and I was thankful for a little more time. I had dodged sexy looks all night, ones that were rather hard to ignore. Carol was practically begging for it and it was becoming harder to concentrate with the stiffness below the belt. Her attention went to my bulge several times, so much that I had to turn my body away as to hide it. After dinner, there was nowhere left to hide and when she suggested I stay for a movie, I desperately tried to figure out a way to tell her no and not get her mad.
“I have an early morning Carol. I don’t think that would be a good idea.”
“Come on Steve. We can watch anything you want. I just want to sit next to you and just be together. Doesn’t that sound nice to you?”
“It does, I just don’t know if it is a good idea. You know I have to get up early for work and tomorrow is a day I can’t be late for. There is a lot of money on the line.”
“Come on, please.”
She looked at me like she was going to cry or she was about to lose herself if I didn’t say yes. How could I say anything else? I knew it was going to get me in trouble, but I didn’t care.
It didn’t take long for her desires to be known. She never was one to beat around the bush and this was no exception. She leaned her head against my chest and then onto my lap. Her eyes were half-closed and she reached down to pull me to her. The kiss was like the one at the door, full of demand and it left no room for more time. It was going to have to be now or she may not be mine anymore.
“Are you sure you want to do this Carol? We don’t have to. I enjoy just being with, being around you and doing things.”
‘”I want to Steve, so badly.”
“What changed?”
She sat up a little and propped her head on her hand. “What do you mean?”
“Something is different today. You never call me like that at work and I don’t know, it is just a different vibe now.”
“I just want you Steve, that’s all. I have needs and it has been a long three months with no real physical touch.”
“We touch all of the time.”
“You know what I mean.”
I did know what she meant, but I was trying to prolong the inevitable. I wanted it to stay just the way it was. I didn’t want it to get awkward and the obsessive feelings to come back that I knew came with it.
“I guess I do. You are talking about sex?”
She shook her head and told me that I was right. “Most of the time it is the guy that can’t control himself.”
“I don’t have much control in that department.”
“You could have fooled me.”
“I have tried really hard not to show that side to you. I like it the way things are now.”
“I want more Steve. I need more from you than just companionship. I want you to make love to me and show me how much you care.”
It was those words that made the decision I had been fighting for so long. Her voice was small and ever so appealing. How could I say no to a request like that?
Chapter 5
David
The shop was not like the one I was used to, nothing there was. Louisiana was very different than my home state. The women were beautiful though and the only things missing were Carol and my bike. I borrowed Joel’s, but it wasn’t the same. As I waited for an answer, I took my time around the city for a couple of days. There was an offer to come to work down here, but I wasn’t sure if that was what I wanted to do.
“David, we are going out for a drink, do you want to come?”
“Yeah.”
It wasn’t even three in the afternoon, but I already needed one. The nightlife here was a little better than up north and though I was waiting for one girl in particular, I needed something to get my mind to quiet down. I needed something to take the edge off.
Following Marcus to the bar down the road, I could tell by the emblem on the bike that this was their territory. Bikers stuck to a certain bar, but this one had more than one group of emblems. I never knew a place to have more than two or three gangs present. It felt like it would be a tinder box that was ready to explode.
“Is this where you usually go?”
He nodded that it was and I no
dded to the other colored bikes next to ours.
“Everyone gets along most of the time. There is nothing to worry about.”
I didn’t believe him, but at the same time I wished for a fight. It would help me get rid of all of this energy that I had inside of me. If I wasn’t going to take it out fucking, there was always fighting to solve the problem.
“Good enough. I don’t think I have seen this many gangs together.”
“Most know each other. An outsider will come in sometimes or another gang wanting to start something, but it never ends well for them. Around here, our kind got to stick together.”
That was how it was up north. Loyalty and sticking together was one thing that I knew well. It was an unwritten rule in my world. It made things easier when you didn’t have to think about who was right and wrong. A person was either with you or against you and there wasn’t any grey area.
I followed him in and looked around without moving my head much. My eyes were covered with shades and even in the dim light. I didn’t take them off right away. I wanted to look at everyone there and spot anyone that I thought was going to cause me trouble. No one barely even looked our way, except a tall blonde haired man that looked at me and Marcus with hate in his eyes. I almost pointed him out to see who he was, but we passed him to get to the bar and I just ignored it.
“Two beers and a couple of shots. What are we drinking David, whiskey or tequila?”
I told him that I didn’t care. As long as it burned going down, I was okay with that.
“So how do you like the city David?”
“It’s alright. Haven’t seen too much of it yet. I am just here for a run and will be going back soon.”
“You should stay. It’s warmer here than it is in Chicago. The women are friendlier and we have something good going on here. Carlos is king up there, but here you could be bigger. Not just his friend, but a second to Lucas here.”
I had gotten the feeling that I was sticking around for a reason. I wanted to find Carol and see her while I was here, but I hadn’t expected to be invited to stay full time. “Why would I want to do that? With Carlos, I have known him since we were kids and I know who he is. I work for him because I respect him.”
“Yeah, but you can make your own name here.”
“Why would they not just recruit around here?”
“Because we know what you are made of. I have heard the stories, we all have. Joel mentioned you a couple of times. I can tell that you are not like Joel.”
I knew what he was talking about, but I didn’t comment. Joel was damaged after his wife left him. I hoped that this time around was better. A woman could make or break a man.
“No, I am not like Joel. Joel changed a lot, but he seems to do well here.”
“He isn’t really in the business. He runs an apartment building for his uncle. That is his main thing here. Lucas has him run a few things every now and then, but that is about it. We need some muscle to do collections. I am already running all day for Lucas and not even making a dent in it. Some of the times, I need back up. It would be good to have a guy like you around to help out on the bigger collections.”
“I don’t know. I will have to think about it.”
“Just tell me what you want to stay and I will make it happen.”
There wasn’t much in the world that I wanted. I had worked for Carlos for years. Now was not the time to leave, even if it sounded like the grass was greener on the other side.
“I don’t think I am looking for a change.”
“Tell me what you want and I will get it to you. Just to meet him. Once you meet Lucas, I have a feeling he will make an offer that you won’t be able to refuse.”
I doubted it very seriously, but something popped in my head that I did want while I was there. “Carol Masterson.”
“Who?”
“This chick I met at Joel’s wedding. You find here for me and I will meet your boss.”
Marcus grinned and wrote the name down on a napkin that he took from the person’s drink next to him. “She is from here?”
“I think so.”
Marcus shook his head. “Well at least you know the last name. We will find her. Do you want me to pick her up?”
It was tempting. She wouldn’t be able to ignore me then, but I knew that Carol wouldn’t take too kindly to that. She wasn’t the type to forgive too easily.
“No, just an address and I will do the rest.”
Marcus looked happy and I wondered what it was that he was so happy about. Did they need someone here that bad? I didn’t mind a little dirty work, it kept me feeling alive.
Taking a drink of the shot in front of me, I noticed that blonde haired man again. This time I met his gaze and realized that he was wearing the same jacket as Marcus, but he wasn’t acknowledged when we had come in.
“Who is that burning a hole in the back of my head right now?”
Marcus looked behind me and smiled. “That is Leo. You are going to replace him and he knows it. I would stay away from him if I were you. He is a man that knows he is about to lose everything. That can be dangerous.”
“Aren’t we all?”
“Yeah, but not to each other. He has no code and will do anything to stay on Lucas’ good side, even if that means throwing someone else under a bus to do it. Trust me, he tried it with me before and several others. Lucas keeps him around and he is under protection, but not for too much longer.”
I looked back to the man of our discussion and I could tell that he didn’t want me there. But it was clear by the way he stayed at his table that he knew a bit about me. I wasn’t one to shy from a fight if a person wanted to bring it my way, but I wouldn’t go looking for one if I didn’t need to. Even now, I knew that it was a bad idea. Maybe after a couple more drinks, I would be ready to start something that would lead to chaos.
***
It wasn’t but a day later that I heard from Marcus. He had the address that I was looking for. “You know that she works for the government?”
“No, I didn’t.”
“Well just be careful with a woman like her. She is not the kind of girl that I could be with.”
I didn’t know if I wanted to be with her, but I did know that I wanted to be inside of her again. The long term wasn’t something that I was thinking of. If I just had her once, I was sure that I would fix everything that was wrong with me. Just one more taste of her and I would be cured.
“She is pretty uptight, but she turned freaky with the right mood.”
Marcus grinned and I don’t know why I wanted to hit him. I still hadn’t gotten in a fight and I was ripe for one.
“Got to love the closet freaks. Sometimes I think that they are the best. Mine is just as street as me though. She would be quicker to start something than I would, ride or die kind of chick.”
“Those are hard to come by, one that you would want anyways. Now it is deceit and the best thing to do is just hit it and quit it.”
Marcus agreed and I took a drink of the beer from the fridge. I liked him and I was starting to like the area. I didn’t know if it was enough to stay, but I had promised to meet with Lucas and I would go with an open mind. Carlos knew about it and he told me to do what I must. “I can’t tell you where to go David, but I want you to know that you always have a place here with us.”
That got me thinking that a change for a time might be in the cards. The address in my hand made it easier to imagine, even as I told myself that I was only going to see her once more to get her the rest of the way out of my system. I don’t know if I even believed my own thoughts, but that was the plan. As soon as ii was done meeting with Lucas, Carol was the first person that I was going to go see.
“So when does Lucas want to meet?”
Marcus grinned. He was always smiling and it made him look a little off. The blonde hair and blue eyes were somehow familiar for a moment, but I pushed the idea aside. Was he related to Leo that I had pointed out the day before? He kind of l
ooked like him. I wanted to ask, but there seemed to be an issue between them and I didn’t want to bring it up. It reminded me of how different it was here. Up north I knew everyone and how they connected, here I wasn’t so sure.
“He wants to meet you now.”
“How do I know that the address is legit?”
“It is.”
That was all of the assurance that I was going to get and in truth, that was all that I needed. I had been told that I could trust Marcus and I felt that way the first time I met him. People had vibes about themselves and Marcus was one that I could see being around. He didn’t talk about others and after seeing him in action on a pick-up, I respected him even more. We were enough alike that I had to trust him.
“Well let’s go meet the man.”
“I was hoping you would say that. Lucas doesn’t like to wait.”
I had a feeling that there was more to that statement then what met the eye. It was clear that Marcus looked up to the man and I wanted to meet him just for that reason alone. Carol was just going to have to wait a little bit longer.
Chapter 6
David
“It’s good to finally meet you David. I was wondering if you were going to come around. I hear you bribed Marcus instead.”
I didn’t answer him, just sat back and smiled his way. “I wouldn’t call it bribing, more sweetening the deal is all.”
“Well you got it, but I have to ask what is so important about that girl?”
I wasn’t going to talk about Carol. I didn’t want to and the less people knew about my life, the better. It was never a good idea to have those you care about in the light. I wouldn’t want someone to do something to them, to get back at me.
“Just a girl that I wanted to look up from before. You know how it is sometimes. You have to get another taste.”
“Yeah, I have those women that stuck with me. There is one in the Keys that I always see while I am there. I just can’t help it, the damn siren calls to me.”
I didn’t comment anymore. I wanted him to know nothing about what drove me. “So I hear from Marcus that you wanted to talk?”