Questions, questions, questions, David thought. He had a million of them regarding himself and what he didn’t know about David Montgomery. Now he was adding questions about Patty to the teetering tower of unknowns. Damn.
David drifted off to sleep, but was plagued by disturbing and confusing dreams that made no more sense than his own existence.
David came to the table the next morning at breakfast and attempted to apologize to Patty again for his outburst of the previous night.
“Don’t give it another thought,” Patty said breezily. “This is a new day, you’re well rested now, so onward and upward. Are you sure you want to eat out here? I’d be happy to bring you a tray in bed.”
“This is fine,” David said. He was well rested now, so his naughty behavior of last night was forgiven and forgotten? She was still treating him like a child, damn it. “Eating in bed gets lonely very quickly. I prefer to come to the table…like the man of the house.”
Patty placed a glass of orange juice in front of David, then stared at him, her head cocked slightly to one side.
“The man of the… Oh,” she said. “Well, I…”
Tucker and Sarah Ann came running into the kitchen and climbed onto their chairs.
“Good morning,” David said, smiling at the pair. “You must be the baby bears. Patty is the mama bear, and I’m the daddy bear.”
“Is Sophia Goldilocks?” Tucker said.
“Works for me,” David said.
“Okay,” Tucker said. “Daddy bear. This is cool.”
“Cool,” Sarah Ann said.
“Remember that it’s just a game,” Patty said quickly. “David is not your daddy, Tucker.”
“Sure he is,” Tucker said, “’cause I’m a baby bear. Can I have juice like my daddy bear?”
“Me, too,” Sarah Ann said.
“Yes, I’ll get you both some juice,” Patty said, then glared at David, who smiled at her pleasantly.
Much to Patty’s steadily growing annoyance, David continued to remind Sarah Ann and Tucker of their baby bear status and his own daddy bear title through the morning and during lunch. When the little ones went down for a nap in the early afternoon, David sat with his leg propped up on the coffee table reading a mystery he’d found on the bookshelf in the living room.
“David,” Patty said, sitting down in the easy chair across from him.
“Hmm?” he said, turning the page in the book.
“Would you put that book aside for now? I need to speak to you.”
David did as instructed, then looked at Patty questioningly.
“I’d prefer that you dropped this bear game you’re playing with the kids,” she said, folding her hands in her lap.
“Why?”
“Because you are not Tucker’s daddy bear. I mean, his daddy, his father. He’s already had his heart broken by Peter leaving and rarely visiting him. I don’t want that to happen again when you and Sarah Ann go home. Your insisting on the title of daddy bear is very risky emotionally for my son. Do you understand?”
“Are you saying that you don’t want Sarah Ann and Tucker to be friends, see each other, have play dates after I get my memory back?”
“Of course they’ll be friends, but until I go back to teaching I can’t afford to take Tucker to the Fuzzy Bunny where Sarah Ann will be. It won’t be that easy for them to be together.”
“In other words, once I remember who I am, you’re dusting me off,” David said, frowning. “So in the meantime, I shouldn’t be Tucker’s daddy bear.”
“I’m sure you’ll be busy once you remember where you work. Besides, you won’t need me for anything at that point, and I can’t allow Tucker to get too attached to you so the daddy bear thing isn’t a good idea.”
“Mmm. Are you uncomfortable with your title of mama bear? If I’m the daddy bear and you’re the mama bear, then you’re my wife. You’re a woman bear as well as a mother to the baby bears.”
“I am not a woman bear,” Patty said. “Oh, this is a ridiculous conversation. Just knock off the bear thing.”
“No, I like it. It’s fun. Ah, come on, Patty, lighten up. It’s just a game, a let’s-pretend number. No harm will come from it. When the kids get tired of it, we’ll move on to something else.”
“I don’t want to be a woman bear,” Patty said, jumping to her feet.
“Fine,” David said, frowning. “You can be Goldilocks if that is less threatening to you.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re so terrified of the woman within you that you won’t even play a game where you have that title,” David said, looking directly at her. “That makes absolutely no sense whatsoever, Patty.”
“Yes, it does,” she said, wrapping her hands around her elbows. “It does.”
“Why? Help me out here. Explain it to me.”
“No. I’m going to go make a grocery list.”
Patty hurried out of the room and David narrowed his eyes as he watched her leave.
Okay, he thought, Patty won that round. He’d got information zip and zero. But he wasn’t finished with his quest to find the answer to his question of why Patty refused to embrace her own womanliness, her femininity, not by a long shot.
He should, he supposed, be concentrating on all the unanswered questions about himself, trying to fill the void within him, and he would do that.
But for some reason that he couldn’t even begin to understand, it was very, very important to him to know why Patty Clark refused to be anything other than a devoted mother.
What terrified her so much about being a woman?
Chapter Seven
The remainder of the week seemed to fly by.
David was contacted by the insurance company representing the man who had struck the SUV and a packet of paperwork was delivered by messenger for David to tend to.
He also spent a great deal of time poring over the newspaper ads for vehicles, looking for the best buy.
On Wednesday, David remembered that he liked green grapes but not purple ones, his favorite color was blue and he was allergic to goose-feather bed pillows.
On Thursday his memory dished up the information that Sarah Ann had been born with a fuzzy cap of blond hair which fell out later, and the replacement crop had been the silky, black curls she now had. He had a sudden flash of a woman’s face, but it was gone so quickly he hadn’t been able to discern anything other than the fact that she was very angry.
On Friday he told Patty he enjoyed taking part in a pickup game of basketball or football, but didn’t like golf because it was much too slow. He preferred his steaks rare, roast beef medium and bacon that was crisp to the point of being nearly burned.
“I haven’t remembered one useful bit of data,” David said on Saturday afternoon while the children napped.
“All this is dumb stuff. I mean, isn’t it exciting to learn that I like bacon that’s cooked to the consistency of shoe leather?” He shook his head. “I’m going crazy here.”
Patty sat down on the sofa next to David, who was in his usual pose with his leg propped on a pillow on the coffee table. She placed one hand on his shoulder.
“It is important information, David,” she said, “for the simple reason that you remembered it. Your memory is returning a little bit at a time, that’s all. It’s like when Tucker was learning his colors. We started with red and blue, then added more as he—”
“That’s it.” David shifted so he could grip Patty’s shoulders with both hands. “There’s another ‘let’s compare David to a child’ number. Do you realize that you actually patted me on the head when I remembered that I liked green grapes? Clapped your hands after my goose-feather announcement?
“Damn it, Patty, I…am…a…man. What is it going to take to get you to… Ah, hell.”
And with that, David Montgomery kissed Patty Sharpe Clark.
Patty’s first reaction was such complete shock that she stiffened and her eyes widened, but in the very next instant her lashes
drifted down. She realized in some deep inner place that she had been waiting for this kiss, yearning for it, fantasizing about what it might be like to be kissed by David.
And it was ecstasy.
She blanked her mind, refusing to think about the right or wrong of it, and just savored the exquisite sensations swirling throughout her. She could feel the pulse of heat low in her body and welcomed it, recognized it as desire a step beyond anything she had experienced before. A whimper whispered from her throat as she returned David’s kiss in total abandon.
Oh, yes, David thought hazily, as he slipped his tongue into the sweet darkness of Patty’s mouth. They’d been moving toward this kiss, the tension and awareness growing more acute with every passing day. It had been an eternity but now, oh, now, Patty the woman was receiving his kiss, holding nothing back, kissing him in return.
David broke the kiss only long enough to take a raspy breath, then slanted his mouth in the other direction. He wrapped his arms around Patty to bring her closer, felt her breasts press against his chest as she encircled his neck with her hands.
The kiss went on and on, and the heat within them coiled tighter, lower, as passion consumed them. There was no world, no children, no worries or woes, no unanswered questions, nothing beyond the two of them. And this kiss.
David began to feel his self-control slipping to the edge. Slowly and so reluctantly, he gripped Patty’s shoulders again and eased her back from his aroused body, his breathing labored.
Patty sighed softly, then lifted her lashes to gaze into David’s eyes, now a smoky hue that radiated the message of his desire.
“I…” she started, then stopped as she realized there were no further words available in the sensuous mist in her mind.
“Patty,” David said, his hands still holding her shoulders. “Don’t say that shouldn’t have happened. Okay? Because it was destined to happen, was due and overdue.”
“But—”
“You can talk from here to Sunday about how you don’t separate the woman from the mother within you—” he went on, his voice gritty with need “—but you and I both know now that isn’t true.” He smiled. “That kiss was Patty the woman and David the man, pure and simple.”
“There’s nothing simple about it, David,” Patty said, an echo of sadness in her voice. “It’s terribly, terribly complicated. I don’t want the woman part of me to be a separate entity. I don’t.
“And you? Oh, David, don’t you see? Your wife is dead and you don’t know what emotions you’re dealing with about that. We’re not free, either one of us, to give way to this desire we feel for each other. Or maybe it’s only lust. Heavens, I don’t know. I just… Oh, dear.”
“You’re working up to saying this shouldn’t have happened,” David said, frowning. “And I’m not going there. I refuse to. I’m living my life a minute at a time, waiting for my memory to return and now, right now, what we just shared was so right and so damn sensational.”
“But there’s nothing wrong with my memory,” Patty said, “and I know that—”
“That you were hurt very badly by your ex-husband,” David interrupted. “I understand that.”
“No, you don’t understand.”
“Listen to me. This might sound crazy, but hear me out. I don’t know what I’ll be facing when my memory slams back into place. We do know it’s been more than a year or two since my wife died and I can’t believe that I might feel guilty about getting on with my life.
“I’m living in…in a bubble of sorts, a limbo state where all I can do is act and react to the moment at hand. Come with me, Patty, into my sphere, take some time off from the pain you suffered, the hurt and betrayal you’ve had to deal with and just be. With me. Just be.”
“Oh, David, that is so dangerous,” she said, shaking her head. “You’re burying that bubble in the sand where reality can’t touch it, but that sand is going to be swept away when you remember what you’ve temporarily forgotten.”
“And we know that, so we can’t get hurt,” he said. “Why can’t I hold you, kiss you, fill the emptiness within me with you? Why can’t you hold me, kiss me, push aside your pain and bask in the warmth of sharing and caring for as long as it lasts?
“We’re intelligent adults. We know the facts as they stand. Can’t we grab hold of what we have together and savor it while we can? Don’t we deserve to just be for however long we have?”
Oh, dear heaven, Patty thought, why was what David was saying making sense, seeming so reasonable, when it was actually bordering on insane?
But, oh, to have a reprieve from the truth of her failings, to move the woman apart from the mother and allow that woman once again to rejoice in her femininity. Just for a little while. Could she do that? Yes, darn it, she could. And David was right. They deserved, both of them, a respite from the turmoil in their minds. Just for a little while.
“Patty?”
She nodded slowly. “Just for a little while. We can’t get hurt because we know the facts, know this is all temporary, a gift we’re giving ourselves because we need to replenish our strength to move on. We need to just be. For a little while.”
“Are we crazy?” David said, smiling.
“Oh, there’s no doubt about that,” Patty said, laughing. “But I don’t care. I do think we should be very careful around Tucker and Sarah Ann because we don’t want them to be disappointed, upset, whatever, when we go our separate ways. They’ve both been through enough, just as we have.”
“Agreed.”
“I’ve never entertained the idea of having an…an affair in my entire life.”
“Forget the word affair because that’s tacky,” David said. “I like how you put it before. This is a gift we’re giving to ourselves.”
“A gift. Yes, that’s much nicer, softer.” Patty nodded. “All right, David, it is crazy, but no one is going to be hurt by this decision. We’re just doing an adult time-out from the turmoil of our lives.”
“Well put.”
“Except I can’t make love with you.”
“What?” he said. “Why not?”
“David, I have a month-old baby. I haven’t been cleared by my doctor to engage in…you know.”
“Oh, yeah, I forgot about that. And I have a cumbersome cast on my leg that…” David laughed. “What a pair we are. Well, special things are worth waiting for, or however that saying goes.”
“You might regain your memory before we’re able to…”
“Shh. We’re living in the moment, remember? And in this moment at hand I’m going to kiss you again before Sarah Ann and Tucker wake up from their naps.”
“Good idea.”
The kiss ignited all the heat and passion of the one before, but now there was more. There was a sense of anticipation of what was yet to come intertwined with the desire.
There was a depth of understanding, of rightness, of knowing they would cherish this gift they had given themselves, and the memories of all they would share would be theirs to do with as they wished. They were in a place where neither had been before but it was theirs. And it was good. Just for a little while.
That night David decided he wanted to eat with the others and managed to prop his leg on a chair beneath the table. The menu was hamburgers, fries and juicy chunks of delicious cantaloupe.
“How come you’re smiling so much, Mommy?” Tucker said, then put three pieces of fruit in his mouth.
“Eat those one at a time, Tucker,” Patty said. “I didn’t realize I was smiling so much, but if I am it means I’m a happy person.”
“Oh?” David said, raising his eyebrows. “And just what is causing this sudden euphoria?”
Patty glared at David, who immediately hooted with laughter.
“Happy person?” Tucker said. “Are you done crying and stuff ’bout Daddy?”
“I cried about Daddy?” Patty said.
“Lots and lots,” Tucker said, nodding. “I told Grandma and she said that mommies get to cry when they get sad
just like kids do.”
“That doesn’t work so good,” Sarah Ann said, frowning. “If mommies and daddies cry, who’s going to hug them and make them feel better?”
Tucker shrugged. “Don’t know.”
“A daddy could hug a mommy,” David said, “and a mommy could hug a daddy.”
“We don’t have a daddy,” Tucker said.
“We don’t have a mommy,” Sarah Ann said. “I told you this doesn’t work so good.”
“Okay, try this,” David said. “While we’re living here, Sarah Ann, I’ll hug Patty if she gets sad and she’ll hug me if I get sad. Does that work for you?”
“Guess so,” Sarah Ann said.
“’Kay,” Tucker said.
“But I don’t think you have to worry about Patty or me being sad,” David said, then shifted his gaze to Patty.
“That’s right, David,” Patty said. “No more tears.”
“But what about when you don’t live here no more?” Tucker said.
“Any more,” Patty corrected. “Don’t worry about that, Tucker. What book shall we read at bedtime tonight?”
“I want my daddy to tell me his own story,” Sarah Ann said, “’bout the brown dragon who wants to be red ’cause he likes red bestis. ’Kay, Daddy?”
David stiffened slightly. “I… Um… Wouldn’t you rather I read a story you haven’t heard before?”
“No,” Sarah Ann said. “I want the one you thinked up in your head about the dragon.”
“I have a better idea,” Patty said, seeing the frantic expression on David’s face; he didn’t have a clue what the dragon tale was. “Why don’t you tell the dragon story to all of us at bedtime, Sarah Ann? That would be fun.”
Accidental Family (The Baby Bet: MacAllisters Gifts #14) Page 9