by Ayer, T. G.
To start with, he was small, human-sized actually. I'd expected Odin to appear as Zeus did, gigantic even. His fingers were twisted and arthritic. His flowing grey hair was topped with a large floppy hat, which shadowed almost half of a face so wrinkled it seemed impossible for the man to still be alive. To me, he looked at least a hundred years old.
Garbed in a dark cloak, he was far from my mental image of the Great Odin. Even his eyes were grey, a silvery, smoky grey. One of his eyes. The other eye hid within the shadow of the hat. I strained to part the shadows with my eyes, to confirm the possibility. That single visible eye compelled me toward him, and my feet moved of their own volition.
I frowned and tried to pull back, but soon found I was standing before the old geezer, my head tilted to get a better look at him up on the dais. With a start, I remembered Sigrun's reminder not to look straight at him. I lowered my eyes in case this rickety old man really was the powerful Odin.
A great rumble of laughter echoed around the empty hall, so loud that fine specks of dust fell from the ceilings. I doubted the tiny old guy had barked such a powerful laugh, but I dared not look up.
Movement around me drew my furtive glances. Women, both young and old, filed into the hall and gathered around me. As much as my stomach turned like a windmill, stirring slight rushes of fear, an instinct assured me their presence was neither threatening nor dangerous. Just supportive.
Many smiled as I made eye contact and I sighed, releasing the twisted muscles in my gut. Perhaps it would be okay after all. If this was all in my mind, and I'd just gone seriously cuckoo, then what the heck, I might as well enjoy the ride while I was here.
"Come closer, child." The voice boomed, tinged with amusement. My head shot up, enticed by the happiness in his voice, expecting a benevolent smile on the old man's face.
I gasped.
The old man had vanished and in his place sat a twelve-foot-tall giant of a man, decked out in glorious golden armor and a magnificent helmet, which emitted sporadic bursts of living flame.
I stared open-mouthed at the all-powerful Odin.
Though Sigrun's warning reverberated in my head, it was impossible not to stare. He was, well . . . beautiful. Incredibly, amazingly beautiful. For an old guy. But he shimmered with a golden glow similar to the haze I always saw when a person was soon to be dead.
Instinctive dread filled my bones until it was clear that this glow was different, in tone and in . . . vibration. I wasn't sure how I could know this from a mere feeling but I did, and I accepted it.
His armor was made of the same red bronze material as the one I now wore, only not chainmail. Odin's was fashioned in a more masculine manner, worked by the smith to fit the shape of his body. Beneath the armor, his blood-red shift ended mid-thigh, revealing solid, muscular thighs and calves. This god worked out major.
A sooty raven sat on his left shoulder, large head tilted to one side as if aware of what was happening and waiting for the next episode of Bryn's Introduction to Odin and Asgard. Its knowing eyes gleamed obsidian, its feathers so black it was as if a little spot of nothing hovered over the god's shoulder.
The only thing missing from the scene was Odin's famous winged helmet, but from the headdress he wore it was easy to understand how historians may have misinterpreted it as a helmet with wings. Rounded, it hugged the top of his head, curving down on each side to his sideburns. Fine gold and silver motifs covered its gleaming surface, inscribed on small square panels, which formed an arc across the top of the helmet. Down the center lay a carved golden serpent-like creature whose head settled above Odin's eyebrows. The helmet was a thing of absolute beauty.
Odin watched my face, one eye hidden beneath a leather patch, the other still sparkling grey, the color of storm clouds and lightning. I stared, unable to help myself. My eyes darted first to the strange raven, then back to the old man, who was a real, honest-to-goodness, in-the-flesh, larger-than-life god.
If this was a dream, boy did I have a cool imagination. And if this were real . . . I didn't want to contemplate that right now. I was happy to play along, as long as I didn't have to analyze things too much. I had to hold on to my sanity for as long as I could.
"Do not be afraid, Brynhildr." The words rumbled around the hall like roiling storm clouds.
A sharp elbow stabbed me in the back. Sigrun stood behind me, urging me forward. "Kneel before our Lord, Brynhildr," she whispered. "Before he gets impatient and strikes you dead with a lightning bolt."
"Now, Sigrun, there is no need to frighten the girl." His voice boomed, but he smiled. Maybe he wasn't such a bad guy after all. But I'd just found out he had super hearing. I prayed he couldn't read minds too.
I stepped forward, my heart thudding in my chest as I knelt on one knee, terrified the weight of the armor would tip me over or pull me straight to the ground.
"Now, Brynhildr, you are no doubt in the dark about what is going to happen today."
I nodded, hesitating at first as I wasn't sure whether a nod indicated I knew or didn't know what was happening. His expression didn't harden, so I must have given the correct response. Good. Nobody would want to piss off this big guy, least of all me.
"This is what we call the Rites of the Valkyrie." His smile was benevolent but he showed no sign of giving further explanation.
I stiffened. I'd forgotten about the Valkyries. I'd recognized Sigrun as one of Odin's warrior maidens, but really, truly accepting that she was a Valkyrie was easier when I'd believed this was just a dream.
Now that I'd begun to slowly accept that Odin and Asgard might be real, everything changed. What were the Rites of the Valkyrie, and how did I qualify to experience them? Even if my father was guilty of manipulating Valkyrie DNA and implanting it into my embryo, I'd be a mutant. A freak. Not the real deal. And I'd only be half-Valkyrie anyway. The rest of my DNA would be thanks to Geoffrey and Irene Halbrook.
Odin squinted his one eye as if he could hear my thoughts. "It is time to stop denying what you are, my dear. Now rise and drink of the Mead. It will prepare you." He waved a hand and I struggled to my feet. With the unfamiliar weight of the armor, it proved a challenge. But I managed to stand upright without falling flat on my face and making myself a total fool in the presence of Odin himself.
"Come, Sigrun." He beckoned.
She moved to my side and peered past me. A young girl walked over. Her long brown hair tumbled unchecked to her waist. She was dressed in a garment similar to mine, only hers was made of stiff brown fabric and covered by a large apron.
She presented us with a wooden tray, which held a single goblet. As goblets went this one would rival the Holy Grail itself. Pure gleaming gold, encrusted with dozens of precious rubies, sapphires and emeralds, the goblet proclaimed its heavenly origins. A band of entwined carvings ran around the rim of the cup, glimmering in the light.
Sigrun raised the cup to me and said, "Take it in your hands but with care. It is heavier than it looks."
I held tight and waited as she transferred the goblet into my hand. It really was heavy. I held on, fingers gripped around the golden stem, staring at the shimmering liquid in the bowl.
Beautiful.
Although gold was not my favorite color, seeing as golden people tended to die on me, the Mead had a special, magical quality of its own. It glimmered, enticing me to take a sip. But I waited. Somehow I knew that once I drank, there would be no turning back.
"Drink, Brynhildr, Valkyrie. Warrior of Valhalla. Maiden of Odin." His beautiful voice thundered around me like an invisible arm, buffeting yet comforting as I drank.
I sighed in pure ecstasy after I swallowed my first sip. I'd waited all my life to savor this wondrous drink. I blinked, recalling weeks gone by, in which no hunger touched my belly, no thirst parched my throat. And now, for the first time, I truly tasted and enjoyed something. If only Ms. Custer could see me now. I felt refreshed, revived. As if all hunger was sated in one impossibly glorious sip.
I shut my eyes a
s I swallowed the Mead. A wonderful warmth filled me, spreading throughout my limbs until my entire body glowed with beautiful heat.
When I opened my eyes, the glow had spread beyond the insides of my body. A stab of fear ran through me.
Like Joshua and Aimee and poor, dead Brody, my entire body glowed with a golden light.
Chapter 16
I struggled to breathe, gasping, almost sobbing. Lifted my hands and stared, turning them over and around. As far as I was concerned, any golden glow equaled death.
I shivered with fear.
My hands quaked and spots of bright light shone behind my eyes. I could feel the swirling abyss of madness at the edge of my mind.
Though I longed for release, I strained to keep it at bay, desperate to remain conscious. Who knew what might happen, considering the last time I lay unconscious some unknown person had absconded with my underwear and clothes.
"Brynhildr, Warrior of Valhalla." Odin's voice brought me back to my senses. "Do not be afraid. It is the nature of the Mead. The nectar of the Heavens will imbue your body and your mind with the strength you will need."
Strength I'd need? What for?
I was terrified of that golden glow, but Odin's words were ominous. What was really going on here? My eyes swept the room. Each woman and girl looked on, their faces serene and expectant. Calm, prepared.
They knew. Even that darned raven knew. And they were unconcerned. I doubted I looked as unruffled as they did. But their lack of concern was strangely calming. What was the worst that could happen if none of them were alarmed enough to raise an eyebrow?
"Are you ready, Brynhildr?" Odin asked, an eternal patience in the timbre of his voice, his eye gleaming with patience and assurance.
Ready for what?
This was beginning to sound worse and worse. I could only stare, which Odin seemed to take as acknowledgment on my part. Given the choice I would have turned and run. But even that three-second daydream reminded me I had no idea where I was, how I could escape, or even which way to run if I ever managed to escape from the hall.
I nodded.
Odin nodded too, a short, sharp, no nonsense shake of his head. A rustle of movement and the other women drew closer around me, forming a supportive semicircle.
"You will be fine. Just breathe through it. And try not to be too afraid. It will all be over quickly enough." Sigrun squeezed my hand, her eyes sparkling as she gave me a quick hug and kissed my cheek.
I succumbed to the elation of sisterhood with this girl I'd met such a short time ago. Something I'd never had the pleasure of experiencing. Izzy was too young, and foster homes weren't the best places to make friends. Constantly moving around, from home to home and school to school, didn't help either. Most kids didn't bother with friendships that were likely to last all of three weeks.
But our connection lasted for the shortest instant as she withdrew to take her place with the rest of the women. A stab of fear replaced my rising emotions as warmth overwhelmed my body, swirling around limbs and torso. The heat was too intense.
Too intense to bear.
White-hot irons of pain branded my skin from inside my body. A horrible fire burned within me, demanding release through my very bones.
I gasped and cried out, falling heavily, and even when my bare knees hit the floor with stunning pain it didn't matter. Not in the face of the unadulterated agony in my shoulders.
Living fire burned in my back and I felt movement in my shoulder bones. I shivered, grossed out by the strange crawling sensation beneath my skin. Hysterical laughter burbled inside me. In my moment of pure agony my first thought was how weird it felt.
Sigrun had said to breathe but remembering was the most difficult thing I'd done since walking away from that accident, knowing Joshua was gone forever. I concentrated on taking in a breath and releasing it, one at a time. Beads of perspiration flared on my skin, from the pain and my efforts.
Time stood still as fire raced through me, throbbing and pulsing in time with the horrendous beating of my heart. I was so enthralled within the fire that I didn't hear the music at first.
A haunting melody wafted through the hall, breaking through the barrier of my pain only when the voices of the other women joined in.
It was the wind singing through the trees, the waves crashing against the shore. A mother's lullaby to a sleeping babe. Both soothing and energizing, it gave me a pleasant serenity, releasing my pent up breath and relaxing my stricken muscles.
Although I seldom took painkillers, seldom took ill in fact, I now longed for a quick, chemical release from the white-hot agony. But no relief came. And finally, when all I could do was blink through the slow torture, the nature of the pain changed.
For an instant I thought I was free, but this new agony was far beyond anything I'd experienced since first sipping the Mead. A scream erupted from my lungs, louder and louder, unlike any sound I'd ever made. And that scream, pulled from deep within my belly, was the catalyst.
A burst of pure searing pain exploded from both my shoulders. In a rush of dizzying agony and bright light, an unfamiliar weight settled at my shoulders and tilted me backward as I shivered on my knees.
The white shift beneath the chainmail stuck to me in soggy clumps while sweat dripped from my forehead and neck. I tilted forward to compensate for the new weight at my back, afraid I'd fall backward if I remained straight up. Hands gripped my arms and drew me with gentle care to my feet. Held on until my legs ceased pretending they were lumps of wobbly goo.
The soft melody continued, weaving threads of comfort around me. Sigrun held onto my arm and a rush of air touched my cheek. I turned and stared at her, exhausted and very frightened. I glanced around and saw that every woman in the room now had wings at her back, outstretched, fluttering on an invisible breeze.
But it wasn't Sigrun's or anyone else's wings which had caused the rush of air so close to me. The weight on my shoulders moved and I turned my head, taking in the sight of a pair of my own stunningly beautiful red-bronze wings, which shivered and fluttered.
I gasped at the beauteous sight. And fainted.
***
My respite in the land of unconscious bliss was welcome and relieving. Sleep felt wonderful. I wriggled and stretched like a lazy cat. My eyes were shut tight. It's just a dream, Bryn. Open your eyes and you'll be back in your bedroom at Ms. Custer's house, with this having been an amazing, scary, pain-filled dream.
But even while I spent time gnawing at the thought, a part of my consciousness registered the warm crackling of the fire and the comfortable caress of the wool underneath me.
I sighed and cracked an eye open.
Still the same room. The same fire. So it might be real after all. Unless it was like those strange dreams I sometimes had when I would wake with a start, try to shake off the dream, and go back to sleep only to fall straight back into the same dream.
I wriggled, then stretched my tight, sleep-drenched limbs and groaned as my muscles screamed from the torture. But it was not only my arms and legs that rebelled. A heavy constant weight at my back also pulled against my shoulders, which was agonizing all on its own.
Everything came rushing back to me. Sigrun. Asgard. Odin. The golden Mead and the warrior women and my initiation as a Valkyrie.
The wings.
I laughed aloud. This ridiculous dream was going way too far now. It had to stop. Soon, or I'd go stark raving mad. Pushing off the covers, I came to my feet in a rush of pulsing muscles and fluttering wings.
A feather floated past. It swirled and twirled on an eddy of air, as if an invisible tornado spun in slow motion, pulling the feather around and around in a silent dance. Soon it slowed and floated back and forth until it reached the floor in a soft silent sweep.
I couldn't hold back the tears. How long had I been gone from Craven? How long had I been unconscious before Sigrun awakened me the first time, and how many days had I slept after the Initiation?
I shivered. And the wi
ngs at my back quivered in answer, understanding and reflecting my fear.
The low fire gave out no warmth and I had no idea how to bring it to life. What sheltered, spoiled lives we lived in our modern age. Lights and central heating, computers and cars. I bet Asgard had no internet available. Or cell phone reception.
My phone! In the pocket of my jeans. I'd have to ask Sigrun for it, if she appeared again. I was beginning to accept this wasn't much of a dream. I got to my feet and scanned the stark room for something to wrap around my chilled body. The white dress looked pretty, but it didn't keep out the growing cold.
My only source of warmth was the amber pendant, still safely tied at my neck, still glowing like a miniature sun. I understood then what a deep sense of security the small jewel gave me.
I tugged the covers and stared at them, fascinated and slightly repulsed. Real animal pelts, not factory spun fake-mink like the one I had back home. I shivered again, and the desire to be warm overrode my revulsion. I drew the fur around me and rose to my feet.
The cold floor bit at my bare feet but I was determined to exercise my cramped muscles. I walked across the length and breadth of the room, pausing to lunge and stretch my thigh and calf muscles. Not quite yoga, but good enough.
I tilted forward to compensate for the bulk of the wings, and rounded my shoulders. Slow and easy does it. Amazing. It wasn't as difficult as I'd expected. My shoulders now possessed a natural strength to bear the weight of the wings. They still felt weird to me and I avoided looking at them. I concentrated on exercising the muscles in my back, neck and shoulders, to ease the tightness and soreness, to get my mind off where I was and how hopeless it seemed to return home.
At last, with some stiffness out of my legs and shoulders, I felt human again.
Human. A sharp stabbing pain wrenched through my heart. But I was not human. Wings were not human. I was more of a monster and freak than ever. Cherise had called me a freak. If she saw me now, what would she say? Mutant? Monster?