by Zoe Matthews
Serena wrote Paul back with the intention of turning him down, but instead she told Paul about herself and briefly wrote about her history of being an orphan. She described her life in Maple Grove. Throughout the next six months, Paul and Serena had written to each other regularly. A month ago, Paul again had offered her marriage and Serena decided to accept. She sent off her last letter to him a week ago. She planned to leave with Katrina as soon as school ended.
She wanted to talk to Charlotte that morning and let her know of her plans for her future, but Charlotte had left quickly to make her usual batch of bread in the bakery, and Serena did not know if she would get another chance to talk to her that day.
Anna had left Maple Grove secretly without letting Mr. and Mrs. Davis know her plans for fear that they would stop her. Katrina was also planning to do the same for different reasons, but Serena did not feel she could do this to the Nelsons. Even though she did not feel like she was their daughter and they had not become her forever family like she had dreamed of when she was 12 years old, they had been good to her. Her needs had been met and they were not cruel to her.
After the older children had left for school, Serena quickly cleaned up the dishes from breakfast and then started to sweep the floor. She had almost completed her morning chores when the youngest boy, Jeff, woke up for breakfast. She knew she would need to wait until later to talk to Charlotte.
****
The opportunity to talk to Charlotte finally presented itself after all the children were in bed. The small home that Serena had come to when she was 12 had been enlarged with a few more rooms, but she had been able to keep the small loft room as her own. She loved the room and all the children had strict orders to stay off the ladder and out of her room.
One time about a year after she had been living with the Nelsons, the oldest girl, Jenny, had snuck up to the loft and found her locket that had been given to her by her birth mother. In her curiosity, Jenny had broken the locket pieces in half. Even though Jenny had been punished, it was then that Serena realized she was basically a nanny to the children. The Nelsons had not understood how important the locket was to her, although to be fair to them, Serena had not told the Nelsons the locket was from her mother. Serena had thrown the broken pieces in the latrine in anger and disappointment. She had regretted doing so afterwards, but it was too late. She had lost the only tie to her birth mother.
None of the children had ever gone up to her room again, but the event deeply hurt her and she distanced herself from the family from that time forth. She did her work, took care of the children, and she was respected, but she did not feel they were her family.
Jacob and Jeff are finally asleep,” Charlotte announced as she walked into the small sitting room where they spent their evenings sewing, knitting or reading.
“That’s good,” Serena absentmindedly replied as she reached her hand into a basket for a sock that needed darning, but instead of starting the job, she set it in her lap. “I would like to talk to you, if now is a good time.”
Charlotte nodded and sat down in a rocking chair next to her and picked up another sock that needed mending. “I have known for a while you had something to tell me. What is it?”
Serena took a deep breath and prayed silently that Charlotte would understand her decision. She had not confided to Charlotte about Paul at all, so the news would be new. Serena quickly told Charlotte how she had been writing Paul since the previous fall. She explained that he had asked her to marry him and she had sent an acceptance letter last week. As she talked, Charlotte listened and Serena thought she could see sadness in Charlotte’s face. She watched as Charlotte brushed a tear from her eyes, which puzzled her. She knew Charlotte would not want her to go, but it did not occur to her that she would be sad.
“I knew this day was coming,” Charlotte admitted to her. “I knew you were writing to someone other than Anna.”
“How did you know?” Serena asked, wondering if she had seen one of her letters.
“A mother knows,” Charlotte replied quietly.
“But you are not…” Serena started to say, and then stopped, not wanting to hurt Charlotte’s feelings.
“I know I am not your mother,” Charlotte agreed and smiled through her tears as she used a handkerchief to wipe her face. “But I think of you as my daughter.”
“You do?” Serena was amazed. She had not known this. She had thought of herself as a nanny for the children for so long, she had assumed Charlotte thought of her the same.
“Yes,” Charlotte said as she reached her hand out as if she wanted to touch Serena, but then stopped herself. “Do you remember the day you came to live with us? Do you know why we took you into our family?”
“You needed someone to help with the girls.”
Charlotte sighed and leaned back in her chair. “We did need help with the girls, but that was not why we took you in. We could have hired help if we really needed it.
“I am going to tell you something that only Caleb knows. A few weeks before the orphan train came to our town, I had a dream. In the dream, I saw that a young girl had come to live with us. I remember it as if it was yesterday. She had brown hair and brown eyes and she had on a gray dress that was too small for her. I felt a love for her just like I did with my own children. When I woke, I knew that somehow we were going to have another child in the home who would be another daughter. I did not know that the orphan train was going to come to the town until about a week later. Even then, even though we got permission to take in a child, I did not know how we were going to get you. Then when you walked in with the other children that day and I saw you for the first time, I recognized you from my dream. I knew you were meant to be part of our family.”
Serena sat silently as she listened to Charlotte talk. “Why did you not tell me this before?” she finally asked.
“I wasn’t sure you would believe me. I have always been able to tell that you hold yourself back from us. I did not want to scare you or put pressure on you. You seemed to want to have the role as a nanny and since that seemed to make you feel comfortable, I didn’t push it. I did try for a while to get close to you, but you pushed me away, and I finally stopped. Maybe I shouldn’t have. Maybe I should have kept trying. You just seemed to be happier if I left you alone.”
For a while, the two women rocked in their chairs and sewed. Serena thought about what she had just learned. She wondered if part of the problem that she never felt close to this family was partly her fault. Maybe she would never be able to feel close to others.
Charlotte finally broke the silence. “I understand the need to have your own life. If you want to go to Montana and marry Paul, then I will support your decision. But I would like you to promise me something. Promise me that you will always know you have a home with us if you ever need one.”
For the first time, Serena reached her hand out and touched Charlotte’s. “I promise.”
CHAPTER 4
It was now the middle of September and Serena was on the train with Katrina. They had left a few months later than originally planned because of some events that had happened in Katrina’s life, but now they were on their way. They would be arriving to Pine Valley, Montana in a few hours and she was starting to feel restless.
Katrina was sitting across from her asleep, with her face leaning against the window. Serena did not understand how Katrina could sleep on the train. They had been traveling for over a week and Serena had not been able to get much rest. There was no place to lie down and, for a few days, the train cars were very crowded. Every time she would drift off, something would wake her up, whether it was the train bumping over the tracks, a crying child, or the loud voices of a group of men playing poker nearby.
She started to think of the family she left behind. After she had talked with Charlotte, things had changed. She still had her jobs and responsibilities, but she no longer resented the need for her to help with the children and around the house. She realized that she loved the chil
dren, especially Rose, whom she had bonded with when she first arrived in Maple Grove. Rose was now nine years old and looked up to Serena as a big sister.
She had also learned how to bake and cook over the last nine years and she knew those skills would help her as she started her new life on the ranch. Tears were shed the morning she boarded the train with Katrina, with promises to stay in touch.
She was anxious for these last few hours to pass so she could start her new life. She had read and reread Paul’s last letter. In fact, she had reread his letter so many times, she had it practically memorized. He was very excited she was finally coming. He again described the small cabin he had built that they would live in. He talked about his brothers and mentioned that Anna was expecting her first child in a few weeks, which gave Serena another reason as to why she was very excited to finally arrive.
Serena looked out the train window and watched the new scenery go by. Montana was very beautiful and green. They had driven through some mountain ranges and forests that Serena had found fascinating. She had never seen such large mountains before and was looking forward to living so near them.
Finally, Serena felt the train start to slow and she nudged Katrina with her foot.
“We are almost there,” she told her friend when Katrina sleepily opened her eyes. Her words woke Katrina up and they quickly started to gather their belongings.
When the trained slowed to a stop, both girls quickly picked up their bags and stepped off the train. Serena felt a little unsteady on her feet after being on the train for so long, but she immediately looked around for Anna. She heard a squeal and saw Katrina run toward a woman and gave her a hug. It was Anna and she looked different. She had matured into a young woman and Serena could see that she definitely was expecting a child. She had on a beautiful deep green dress. There was a small girl who stood next to her, hanging onto her skirts.
Anna reached for Serena and hugged her along with Katrina. “It is so good to see you both,” she said with tears in her eyes. “I am so glad you are finally here. You will love Montana, I promise.”
There were three men standing nearby. One of them came to stand close to Anna and placed his hand on her shoulder.
“This is my husband, Alex Bridger,” Anna introduced him to Serena and Katrina as she linked her arm through Alex’s. She then pointed to the other men. “And this is Luke and Paul Bridger.”
Serena said hello to Luke, but looked at Paul, liking what she saw. Anyone could see that all three men were brothers. They had the same color of dark hair, although they kept the lengths different. Paul’s hair was the shortest of his brothers and he was clean-shaven. Luke had a short trimmed beard and Alex looked like he had not shaved for a few days, but it was well kept.
Paul walked up to Serena and held out his hand. “Hello, Serena,” he said. She grasped his hand and immediately a tingling shock went through her body, which surprised her. It seemed to surprise him as well as his eyes widened at her touch. She quickly dropped her hand and wiped it on her skirt in confusion.
“It is nice to meet you,” Serena stammered and smiled shyly at him. She felt very nervous inside, but she also knew she had made the right decision in coming to Montana. She had exchanged many letters with Paul and had gotten to know him throughout the last year. She was anxious to start her new life with the man who stood in front of her.
“Who is this?” Katrina asked as she squatted down in front of the child who was still grasping Anna’s skirts.
“This is Sage, Luke’s daughter,” Anna introduced her. “She will be attending your school when it starts.”
“Hello, Sage,” Katrina said to the child. “How old are you?”
“Sage held up five fingers. “Pa says I am old enough to go to school. I can’t wait. Aida can’t wait either.”
“Who is Aida?”
“My best friend,” Sage replied.
“I am looking forward to teaching you,” Katrina said and then stood up. Serena noticed Luke looking at Katrina peculiarly and then turned away abruptly. She soon forgot the incident when she realized Paul was speaking to her.
“I have made arrangements to be married before we go back to the ranch, like we agreed,” he told her.
Serena nodded her head in agreement and the men started to gather their trunks and bags and lifted them into a nearby wagon.
Luke swung his daughter into the back of the wagon, jumped in himself, and drove the horses down the street towards a church. The rest of the adults leisurely walked. Anna chatting excitedly with both Serena and Katrina, trying to get caught up with each other during the short walk to the church. It was so nice to be together again after over a year apart.
****
Paul walked beside Serena and silently listened as she talked with Anna and Katrina. He wanted to reach out and take her hand again, but restrained himself. He wanted to pull her back from the other women and have a conversation with just her, but he again restrained himself. He knew that he would have her alone eventually. They needed to marry first and then head back to the ranch as soon as possible to be back in time for the evening chores. The train had been very late, so he did not have time to talk to her alone before the wedding.
He watched Serena as they walked. He thought she was very beautiful. Her brown hair was swept into a bun and there were red tints to it as the sun shown on her face. She had a beautiful smile and her eyes sparkled with joy. Her dress was wrinkled and a little dirty, but he knew it was because she had been traveling so long.
Serena broke away from her friends to walk next to him. “Will I be able to change before the wedding?” she asked. “I brought a dress I would like to be married in.”
“Yes,” Paul told her. “I am sure you can use a room in the reverend’s house if you wish. I will ask for you when we arrive.”
“What will happen after we are married?” Serena asked.
“We need to get back to the ranch soon, so we will leave after the wedding,” Paul explained to her. “I brought my own wagon so we can travel alone and get to know each other better. The others will go back together in the wagon Luke is driving.”
“How far away is the ranch from town?”
“It will take about two hours if I go slowly enough,” Paul smiled at her and noticed his heart jumped as she shyly smiled back.
“I am glad I am finally here,” Serena told him.
“I am glad you are finally here, too,” Paul repeated her words to her. “I am looking forward to starting our life together.”
When they arrived at the church, the men led the group to a small home located behind the white building. An older man answered Luke’s knock and everyone was soon crowded into a small parlor. Paul asked the preacher’s wife, Mrs. Olsen, if Serena could possibly use a room and some water to clean up before the wedding. Mrs. Olsen agreed and soon Serena had left the room with Anna and Katrina following.
While the women were gone, Paul and Alex sat down on a sofa while Mr. Olsen left to open the church for the ceremony.
“Are you sure you want to get married?” Luke asked him in a half-joking way.
“Of course,” Paul scowled at him. “Just because you don’t like the idea of marrying again…”
“I know, I know. Forget I said anything.” Luke got up from the couch and left the house while Paul continued to scowl at him as he left.
“Don’t let Luke get to you,” Alex advised him as he slapped a hand on his shoulder. “I don’t think he really means it, deep down.”
Paul shook his head in disgust, but he knew what Alex meant. Luke had been pretty bitter about the idea of marriage ever since his wife passed away almost two years ago. He had been grouchy with everyone and hard to live with. The last few months though, he had been mellowing for some reason. Paul wondered if he finally was over his wife’s death and had decided life was worth living, especially since he had a young daughter to raise.
CHAPTER 5
Serena slipped off her dusty traveling dress an
d set it aside. Anna took the dress she had chosen to be married in out of a carpetbag and was busily trying to brush the wrinkles and dust out of it. The dress was not an official wedding dress, but it was the best she had and one she had only worn to church on Sundays in Texas. It was rose-colored trimmed with cream ribbon around it. There were small pink buttons down the back. The collar was lacy and the skirt was full.
“It is so good to be together again,” Anna was saying as she continued to work on Serena’s dress. “It seems like it has been forever, although it has only been a year and a half.”
“We are glad to be here,” Katrina commented. “I am anxious to see the school where I will be teaching and to learn about my new students.”
“Sage is very excited about starting school. Luke had wanted to have the school start last fall, but when he could not find a teacher, he had to put it off. I know he was relieved when you decided to come with Serena. We were expecting you both to come a few months ago, though. What happened to keep you from coming when you originally wanted to?” Anna asked Katrina.