As I sit here biting into my toast I feel like I’m going to lose my mind. “How long do you have to stay here?” He sarcastically responds, “I don’t know. Indefinitely.” I shake my head at that, “J, I can’t do this. I feel like I dance around you all the time, and now I have to do it at home?” He’s still too close to me when he answers, “Why are you avoiding me in the first place?” Ugh. “You know why.” And he did. I was very upfront with him when we stopped hanging out. He knows what I want. “Soph, I know you want more than what you think I can give you, but look at Mel’s life. Aren’t you happy for her?” See that’s the problem, “Over the moon. I can’t wait to meet the little guy she’s carrying. It’s a great life for her, not me.” He shocks me with, “Why? You’re too good?” Lord, how many times do I have to say, “No, I just wanted more. You obviously can’t guarantee me safety. Look at what happened last week, and now again last night. What good does it do me to belong to a club, when all it does is hurt the people you claim to be your family?” Even with how upfront I was, I never told him the complete truth. I was just going to have to keep that stuff to myself. His face is tight and I know I overstepped, but I needed to be sure he understood there wasn’t a chance we were getting back together. “I’m going to call Marshall today and let him know that after this is all done I want to discuss us getting back together. Jason, you have to understand I have to do this for myself.” He snarls, “That guy? Sophie, don’t call him just yet, there’s some stuff you don’t know.” I let out a sarcastic laugh, “Are you going to tell me?” He shakes his head, “Not today.” See! “When?” He smiles, “When you’re mine. Officially.” I’d never know then, “That doesn’t give me any incentive whatsoever. I’ll never find out if we’re waiting on that.” He cracks a smile as if something is funny and I shake my head at him, “Am I allowed to work today?” He nods, “Yeah, are you up for that though?” I forgot about my face, “Maybe until these bruises are gone I’ll just work from home.” He brushes my cheek, “That might be a good idea.” I nod and get up to get in the shower. “How do I do this?” He smiles again and then leaves. Well then.
I head into the bathroom and get my clothes off. The next thing I know the door is swinging open and Jason is standing there with a bag and duct tape. “Jason, what are you doing?” He still has that damn cocky smirk, “Helping? What are you doing?” Seriously? “Showering! J, I’m naked.” He raises an eyebrow at me that says, “Like I haven’t see this all before” and replies, “I know. I guess I waited the right amount of time.” I scoff at him and grab a towel from the door behind him. He gets close as I do so and says, “Thanks for the show.” Urghhhh. I wrap the towel around me as he wraps my arm. Not that I can really move it. “I don’t know if I can do this.” His face gets serious, “Call me in, and I swear to God I’ll help you wherever you need help.” I’m not in the mood for his niceness, “Yeah, I’m sure you will.” He pulls under my chin so I have to look him in the eye, “I mean it seriously, Sophie. Not in a joking Jason way. I’ll actually sit right out here because I don’t know how you’re going to wash your hair with one arm.” Sigh. “I’m sure people do it all the time. I’ll figure it out.” He doesn’t let it go, “I’ll be right outside the door.” Whatever. “Fine.” I snap and he finally leaves.
I get in the water and start my poor attempt of not getting my cast wet and washing my hair with one arm. By poor attempt, I seriously mean I can’t even get the glob of shampoo into my hands. I let out a frustrated growl, but I’ll be damned if I ask that man for help. Although, he’s already see me naked, so what could it really hurt? “J?” It was a defeated sound that came out of my mouth next and in two seconds he was in the room. He had on jeans and a cutoff. He took the cutoff off and stepped into the shower in his jeans. “Turn and face me, Soph.” Oh no. He was going to be so nice and so professional about this, I wasn’t even going to know what to do with myself. I turned around and refuse to look him in the eyes, so I keep my head down. I stick to looking at his chest as he puts the shampoo through my hair gentler than I even knew possible. When he was done he raised my head with his fingers to my chin. I look up into his eyes hoping that because we’re in the shower he won’t realize I’m crying. “Hey, why the tears?” No such luck, “You’re being so nice, and I’ve been such a bitch to you. Can’t you just be a dick?” He chuckles and pulls me into his arms. Belatedly, I think about how this looks, but for right now his skin on my skin feels amazing. He lifts my head again and gets whisper close to my lips saying, “Close your eyes for me, baby.” I close my eyes and he puts us under the water to rinse my hair of the shampoo. Then he puts in conditioner and does the same. By the time we’re done I was half dead to the world. Blaming this solely on the meds and not the fact that Jason is here clouding my judgement. We get out of the shower and he dries me off.
Once I’m dry, he wraps me in a towel and we head out to my room. He sits me down on the bed and goes to my drawer where apparently he knows where all of my stuff is. I mean he was here quite a bit, and I’m sure he saw me get ready every morning. Did I realize he was paying that much attention? Hell no. This was my last thought before I completely pass out.
I wake up an undetermined amount of hours later to an empty bed. I was hoping that this would all have been a nightmare, but as I stand up out of bed I feel the weight of my cast and the soreness on my face. I look in the mirror and want to cry at the marks on my face. “It’ll clear up. You’re still beautiful as ever.” I turn around to see Jason standing there in the doorway. “Hi.” He smiles at me, “Did you sleep okay?” I nod and he nods back, “Thanks for um…well everything.” That damn cocky smirk pops up again, “You gotta know showering you, and then dressin you, was not a hardship.” I shake my head at him. What is wrong with me? Sophie, get yourself together. “Kris is downstairs waiting on you.” I give him a weird look and responds, “To wake up. She’s just wanting to check on you.” I nod and he says, “Are you okay with that?” I nod again, “Soph, what has this look on your face?” I shake my head and apparently he’s over me not talking. “Soph, I can only do so much with your “no word” answers. I need to know what’s goin on in that pretty head of yours.” Sigh. “I’m fine.” Oddly he says, “Yah know, our friend Trey would frown upon that word. I’m getting it.” I didn’t know what to say to that, so once again I didn’t say anything. I walked toward him though, and face planted my head into his body. If he was going to be here, I might as well use him for what he’s worth. His hands wrap around me and he holds me close. I feel him kiss the top of my head as I pull away. “Sorry. I’ll go see Kris now.” He gets close and talks softly, “Please don’t apologize for that.” I nod and walk down the stairs.
I take everything in as I make it to the bottom of the steps. Kris is sitting on the couch and when she sees me she stands up immediately. “Honey are you okay?” I nod, but she knows I’m lying. She pulls me in for a hug and that’s when the tears start flowing. I was so weak. This is why this life isn’t for me. Well, a part of it anyways. Jason deserved someone that could handle his lifestyle exactly the way it is. That person just wasn’t me and the way my family is proves that to a T. Kris held me close and I let her as she led me to the couch, and she sat down letting my head lay in her lap. She twirled and smoothed out my hair and that was how I found myself falling asleep again. “Soph, I’m headin out, babe.” I look up to see Kris standing there, but my head was still in someone’s lap. I look to see Jason sitting where Kris was, “I’m so sorry I fell asleep. It’s the medicine. I’m so not used to it.” She nods and comes to kiss me on the cheek. “Love you sista. Hang in there and if you can stand it, listen to this guy. He really does have your best interest at heart.” When did Kris become so Pro-Jason? I nod at her, just to get her to stop, and she walks out the door. “What time is it?” My mind is blown when he says, “It’s almost five.” Five. Holy crap. “I slept the entire day away.” He brushes my cheek again, “Soph, you have a broken elbow, and a swollen face. I’m pretty
sure you’re allowed to sleep the day after off. You were attacked, and as much as I hate to say it, it was my fault. I’m gonna make it better though. These guys aren’t gonna get away with it.” I sigh, “Honestly, J, can you just make it stop. I mean, I don’t want anything to do with any of it.” He squeezes my side, “Soph, I’m gonna do everything I can to make it go away. I just wanted to first say I’m sorry. I haven’t really had the chance to say it.” I knew he was feeling guilty, “It’s not really your fault. I mean, the only thing you did was be around me. We obviously looked like an item.” He sighs, “Yeah, well after you put a stop to it I still had a guy posted outside to make sure you got in at night okay.” My eyes snap to his, “You did?” He confirms, “Yeah, that night I saw you with Marshall, I got pissed. Called my guy off, and that’s when this all happened.” My mouth popped open a little at that, “But you couldn’t have known. I mean if you saw me with Marshall, they had to have seen me with him too, right?” He half nods, “Probably, but no matter how you felt about me, they knew that I still had feelings for you. That’s all that mattered.” Sigh. “Jason, I don’t think I can do this. Can’t you put someone else here to protect me if I need protection?” Unfortunately, he says, “No.” I ask, “Why?” Holding me tight he explains, “Because I trust no one but myself with the things I hold dearest.” I look up into his eyes and all I see is sincerity. I close my eyes and try to fight every fiber in my being that wants to kiss him. This would be a lot easier if I didn’t know what that kiss felt like already. I loved that kiss, and now at times like this, I wondered why I was such an idiot. “Soph, I need you to stop looking at me like that.” I go to roll over and he says, “I can’t help what happens if you keep looking at me like that.” I clarify, “Nothing is going to happen.” He quips, “Then why did you just want me to kiss you?” That made me snap my mouth shut. “Exactly.” I mutter a “shut up” and go to stand up from the couch.
He grabs me and pulls me back down into him. This is where I have learned to stop fighting. “Go ahead, bully your way in, J. Real nice when you know that I can’t obviously fight you back.” Instantly he lets me go. I glare at him as I stand up, “Soph, can you please come here?” I close my eyes, because when he talks like that he always ends up getting what he wants. “J, please don’t do this to me. You know I can’t take it.” His face tells me what his words confirm, “Yeah, I know. Wanna know how I know?” Not really, “How?” He smirks, “Because I know that deep down there’s somethin that you aren’t telling me that’s holding you back from what we had. What we had, Sophie, was perfect for us.” I sigh again. I can’t lie, so I need to avoid, “What could I possibly not be telling you?” He leans back throwing a hand up, “I don’t know…you tell me.” Crap. “I don’t know what to say.” He points out, “See, this is what you do. Wanna know how well I know you?” Definitely not! “Not really.” Unfortunately, he keeps talking, “You can’t lie. You don’t have it in you! That’s the kind of person you are, so instead of lying, you avoid it altogether.” I was not that predictable. I know I wasn’t that predictable. “How much more attention did you pay when we were together that I didn’t notice?” He gives me a weird look, “What do you mean?” I explain further with, “I mean, earlier, you know how I like to have my hair washed, then right before I passed out in bed you went straight for the drawer that you needed to get me what I needed, and now…with this…I just…” He cuts me off, “Soph, we were building something that was important to me. I pay attention to things like that, because when you let someone take care of you, and those times are few and far between I might add, but when you let them do it, it’s nice to be the guy that’s needed.” I shake my head, “Are you going to let this be easy? I mean you here with me? Are you going to make me deal with this stuff?” He looks me dead in the eyes and says, “No. Actually, hell no.” Didn’t think so, “If you care so much about me, and you say you do, why do this to me?” He instantly says, “Because, there’s a reason you’re holding back and for some reason you think it’s the right reason. I’m here to show you it’s not.” I whisper, “No, you can’t.” His eyebrow goes up, “So you admit that there is something you’re holding back from me.” Avoid! “I didn’t say that.” He gets close, “Okay, Sophie what aren’t you telling me?” I beg, “Jason, please.” He looks at me and says, “I wish I could let you off the hook. I know it ain’t that Marshall guy. He’s a dweeb, and he’s so boring. Not your type at all. I mean, possibly the white picket fence type, but not even close to being interesting enough to hold your attention.” That was unfortunately true. Marshall was nice, but he was never like Jason.
We had been together for three months and he never tried anything passed kissing. Not saying that’s a bad thing, but three months? Jason didn’t even want to wait three days. Although, he waited more than that in the end. “Soph.” Woops, I guess I wasn’t responding. “Was there a question?” He shakes his head at me. He knows I’m avoiding again. “Soph, what are you hi…” The doorbell goes off. Score for me. “This isn’t done.” He stands up and heads to the door. At first, I didn’t know who it was until I heard, “Soooooph…where are you?” Melanie. “In here.” She comes in carrying her cute little belly with her and sits down on the sofa beside me. “How are you holding up?” I blurt out, “I can’t even complain to you.” She looks caught off guard, “What?” This must be the meds. “You’ve been through so much worse, and I can’t even imagine any of it. Look at you. You’ve come out on top of everything. I can’t do that. I’m not you.” One hand goes to her belly, and the other goes to my good arm, “Soph, you don’t even get it.” Huh? “What?” She continues, “I don’t do this alone. I never would’ve made it through any of that if Brantley weren’t at my side. The right person there, makes all of it okay. No matter what.” I shake my head, “Well, for some reason Jason thinks he’s that person for me.” I hear, “We all think that.” I snap my head to the side and see that Brantley just walked in to join the party. I, however; was done talking. Right now. I must’ve slammed my lips shut because Brantley gets close and says, “Probably a smart move. None of us are on your side about this decision.” I snap my eyes to Melanie who looks to Brantley like she scowling, and then looks back to me giving me an “I’m sorry, he’s my husband and he’s blunt but he’s also right” look. That was when I decided to burst into tears and run to my bedroom upstairs.
By the time I was exiting the room, Jason was entering and I ran right passed him catching him completely off guard. I get to the top of the stairs and shut the door. Realizing that the lock on the door is still broken from the time that Jason broke it to get into the room, I head to the bathroom where I could lock that door. I get in there and lock the door. The first sob breaks out and I hear a knock at the door. “Go away Jason.” Only it isn’t Jason, “It’s Brantley.” Well, I wasn’t expecting that. “Okay, go away Brantley.” I hear him sigh, “I can’t. We gotta have a little chat.” Um. “No thank you.” I hear him lightly chuckle, “Mistake in thinkin you had a choice here, darlin. Please let me in.” I close my eyes and sigh as I open the door. He comes in and sits down on the floor next to me. “I know you haven’t opened up to J. I get it.” I look to him, “What do you mean?” He puts his arm around my back, “Don’t get mad, when I met Melanie I did background checks on everyone in her life. Includin you.” I let out a little gasp. “No.” It was more of a whisper. “Does he already know?” I see Brantley shake his head in the negative and I let out a sigh of relief. “If you get it, then why would you say what I’m doing is the wrong thing?” He continues, and when he does he confirms he knows my story, “Because, Jason isn’t your dad, darlin.” I close my eyes and more tears fall. “Does Melanie know?” He shakes his head, “Not mine to share. If it was life or death she would’ve known. She knows there’s stuff I keep on a need to know. I figured if you hadn’t told her then there was a reason you didn’t want her to know.” I try to explain, “At first, in college, it was just so she wouldn’t pity me. I was so
sick of the pity filled and judgy looks I got in high school. Then when I knew that Melanie was going to end up with you I didn’t want her to run away from what I knew was good for her because of my experience. It was just easier not to share.” He asks, “Where does she think your dad is?” I sigh, “She knows he’s dead. Not how though. I only have my mom, Brant. Last night, one of the only things I could think of was that if I died, right then, my mom would know that a man in a motorcycle club killed me. How would that affect her?” His arm squeezes around me, “I know, but wouldn’t you rather her meet the guy in a club that wants to protect you? J, is not those guys.” Instantly I say, “I know. I mean, I think I know that. It’s so hard with the way everything happened. Brantley, you read the file. I was there for twenty days. My mom was there three days longer than that.” He nods, and I know he doesn’t want the details. “I think you should tell him.” Crap, “Honestly, right before you came in I was about forced to.” He looks surprised, “What do you mean?” I sigh, “He knows I won’t lie, and he asked me a very specific question.” He nods, “Well, we just came to check on you. We’ll get out of your hair.” I nod but I really don’t want them to leave yet.
Shifting Minds (Skull Shifters MC Book 2) Page 2