by Susan Crosby
So, why did he get the feeling it wasn’t enough? That something critical was missing?
Her medallion seemed to burn guiltily in his pocket. But he just wasn’t ready to give it up.
Chapter Fourteen
Jake couldn’t count the number of people who showed up for the party, held in the largest park in town. Every picnic table groaned from the weight of the food. Joe and Donovan were manning two barbecues—nothing fancy, just hamburgers and hot dogs. But the salads and desserts would show off the culinary talents of many in the community.
Staying upwind of the barbecue smoke, Jake took a sip of the beer Joe passed him and watched Keri as she made the rounds with her parents, introducing them. She knew people he didn’t. A lot of people. He could name the ones who’d been around forever, like his family had, but there were new faces—or kids who had grown up and he no longer recognized them.
Donovan leaned toward him. “I don’t know half these people.”
“I was just thinking the same thing. Yet look at Keri. She doesn’t stumble on anyone’s name. You know everyone here, Joe?”
Joe flipped a couple of burgers then scanned the crowd. “Pretty much.”
His gaze stuck somewhere to the left. Jake followed his line of sight, spotting Dixie with a group of women, all of them laughing, even Laura.
“When did Laura and Dixie become friends?” Jake asked. “They don’t seem like a match.”
“Don’t you remember?” Joe said. “The bachelorette party for Valerie, David Falcon’s wife? Dullest bachelor party since the dawn of time, then the girls showed up at the Stompin’ Grounds and everything got better.”
“You and Dix weren’t speaking then, as I recall.”
“I was being stupid, as usual.”
“If I’ve got the sequence right in my head, you’d asked her to marry you not too long before that.”
“A closed chapter now,” Joe said as he flipped more burgers.
It was no closed chapter. Donovan was right. Joe and Dixie were always sneaking looks at each other.
“So, Donny, you and Laura have been giving each other the eye, I’ve noticed,” Joe said, shifting the focus from himself.
Donovan immediately began moving hot dogs around on his grill. “No way.”
“Why not? She’s just your type,” Jake said. “Not interested in marriage, career minded. Blonde. Built. You can’t say you’ve never noticed.”
“I’m not dead.” Donovan took a long sip of beer. “Hey, who’s the guy Keri’s talking to?”
Jake spotted Keri, saw that her parents were sitting at a table with his mother, who held a sleeping Isabella, and that Keri was talking animatedly with a tall, dark, overly attentive stranger who angled close, never lost eye contact and occasionally touched her arm.
And she seemed to be fine with it.
“Know who that is, Joe?” Jake asked, slipping his hand in his pocket, fingering the medallion.
“Nope. Sorry. Never saw him before.” He slid a glance toward Jake. “You know, you might consider buying her a wedding ring.”
Jake headed toward Keri. Yes, he should have bought her a ring. She’d returned Aggie’s before they’d taken Isabella home from the hospital, even though Aggie protested. But Keri said she knew how important it was to Aggie to keep her ring on. Anyway, Keri was the one stalling on that issue, not him, something that annoyed him more every day, but especially when another man was paying such attention to her.
As Jake neared her, he enjoyed the view. She did look exceptionally beautiful today, her hair shimmering in the sunlight, her outfit sporty, showing off how quickly she’d lost the baby weight.
She saw him coming and waved, her smile widening. He slid an arm around her waist.
“This is my husband, Jake McCoy. Jake, this is Mark Harlen. He’s here for the weekend, visiting Doc Saxon, seeing if he’d like to make Chance City his home and take over Doc’s practice.”
The man’s glance slid down toward Keri’s left hand. Some small talk ensued, then Jake asked where he was from.
“Chicago. I’m in my final year of residency.”
“Big difference between Chicago and this little town in the middle of nowhere.”
Keri’s brows arched high. “Hardly the middle of nowhere. Sacramento’s an hour in one direction, and San Francisco only three. It doesn’t even take an hour to get to Lake Tahoe up north. To me, it’s a pretty ideal location. You can drive to the Pacific Coast or the Sierras and back, all in a day. Plus,” she went on dramatically, “it’s so historic. Founded during the gold rush in the 1850s. It’s endlessly fascinating to me.”
Doc Saxon joined them. “I see you’ve met Keri and Jake. Hope they’ve been telling you what a great place this is to live.”
“Opinion swings on that,” Mark said.
“Well, I see it from a newcomer’s point of view, so I think you should listen to me,” Keri said with authority.
“Keri’s a nurse,” Doc said. “She’s making noises about coming to work for me a couple of days a week, so this is one of the friendly faces you’d see.”
Jake didn’t like the look of anticipation on the young doctor’s face. “It’s been nice meeting you,” Jake said, extending his hand, ending the conversation, then hustling Keri away.
“I guess the green haze covering your eyes made you not notice that Dr. Harlen was wearing a wedding band,” she said, a sassy lilt to her voice. “His wife had gone off to nurse their baby in private.”
“Green haze?”
“And you said you never get jealous.” Her smile was full of satisfaction.
Was that it? He was jealous? Well, maybe. But more frustrated than jealous, he decided. Since their “date” two days ago, they’d been driving each other crazy, not hiding their desire, testing limits. He hadn’t been put through the sexual wringer like that in a long time. Hadn’t been necessary in a long time. He had grown-up relationships with adult women. Teasing wasn’t part of it. There was the hunt and chase, of course, but capture came quickly—or not at all.
Maybe the kidnapping had changed him more than he thought. Maybe it had changed his attitude about everything.
Keri nudged him with her hip. “Lighten up. I’m just having fun with you.”
He didn’t think so. He’d noticed that when she seemed worried about his reaction to something, she’d fall back to acting as if she were kidding.
He’d also noticed something important about her parents—that for all their gregariousness, they weren’t very warm people. Jake was so used to everyone in his family hugging hello and goodbye, it was second nature to do so. For all that Isaac and Rachael were all about saving the world, one small community at a time, they didn’t reach out and touch much. Rachael had held Isabella only a couple of times, and Isaac only once. They didn’t hug Keri, although she sometimes initiated one. Isaac hadn’t asked Jake personal questions, not about work or plans for the future. Isaac seemed to have come to his own conclusions and decided Keri was in good hands.
“Mom and Dad are leaving in the morning,” Keri said when they reached the barbecues. Her tone was light, but there was something in her voice. A longing?
“I’m sorry.”
“I’m used to it. They’re all jazzed about starting a new job in a new place. Keeps them young, I guess.” She waved at someone ahead. “I hated that part of my childhood. The constant moving.”
“And yet that’s what you’ve been doing for the past eight years.”
“Ironic, hm? I’m so happy to be planted here.” She sighed dramatically.
“You do seem to know the entire community.”
“Not really, but I joined the women’s club and helped with the pancake breakfast for the fire department. Oh, and I decorated a float for the Founder’s Day parade. I was having lunch with Dixie in the Lode one day and Honey was short a waitress, so I volunteered and got to know even more people. I had a blast.”
This was all news to him. “Did you waitress when you
were in college?”
“Nope. My maiden voyage. I mixed things up and messed things up, and everyone was cool with it. I got great tips, too.” She laughed. “Being pregnant helped, I’m sure.”
“Sympathy tips.”
“I gave it all to Honey. She refused to take it, but she put it on a tab for me, so I’ve got a few free lunches ahead.”
Keri wasn’t just involved, Jake realized; she was entrenched.
“So, yeah, I know a lot of people, especially added to the fact there’s not a soul in town who Aggie doesn’t know, and I hung out with her a whole lot. She took me everywhere, introduced me to everyone.” Her voice caught. “She’s been more of a mom to me…”
She shook her head, not finishing the sentence. The impact of what she was saying struck Jake with hurricane force. She wanted to stay here, in Chance City, not just when he wasn’t on a job, but all the time. He wouldn’t see her, or his daughter, except here.
Unless he insisted. Sometimes he stayed in one place for a month or two. He wanted them with him.
“The Falcon family has arrived,” she said, waving to the group of eleven crossing the field, thirteen if you counted a couple of pregnancies.
The McCoy brothers had grown up with the Falcon brothers. There’d been friendships and rivalries between them, but most important, history. Jake knew everyone except Gideon’s wife, Denise, then realized he’d met her at the famous bachelor/bachelorette party, too. After a few minutes reminiscing about that evening with everyone, Gideon took Jake aside.
“Donovan passed the word that you wanted to talk to me,” Jake said. “I’m sorry I didn’t get back to you. Things have been…hectic.”
“I understand that, and I would hold off longer if I could, but I’ve already been waiting six months. I can’t put it off.”
“Six months? What’s on your mind?” Jake asked.
“A job I’m hoping you’ll be interested in taking.”
“So, does it really hurt as much as they say?” Denise Falcon, Gideon’s wife, asked Keri as they waited for their husbands’ conversation to end.
“Let me put it this way. You know how they all say you don’t remember the pain because you get the big reward for it—the baby? Don’t believe it. I remember every second of it.”
“I guess that’s why it become a woman’s war story, to be told again and again.”
Keri laughed. “They look intense,” she said, gesturing toward their husbands. Similar in height and physique, they talked without laughing, without breaking eye contact much. “Do you know what’s going on?”
“Well, since I’m sure Jake will tell you, I’ll tease you a little. They’re talking about a job.”
Keri frowned. She didn’t want Jake to leave the country yet. He wasn’t healed completely. They hadn’t settled enough between them. And she wanted to have real sex with him first. “Soon?”
“As soon as possible, yes. That’s all I’ll tell you. So, what’s the secret to fitting into pre-pregnancy clothes only a month after giving birth? You look amazing.”
“Genetics, I think, because I’ve been eating like a horse, and the only exercise I get is to take Isabella out in the stroller, not the power walks I used to do. Anyway, you haven’t seen my belly, which is still a work in progress.”
Joe called out that the burgers and hot dogs were on the table, and a humorously competitive rush of people headed toward the feast. Jake and Gideon shook hands, apparently ending their conversation.
“See you shortly, Keri. I’m starved,” Denise said, meeting Gideon to get in the long line.
“Ready to eat?” Jake asked.
“Your mom just signaled me that Isabella is hungry. I’ll eat after the line thins out.”
“How about if I fix you a plate and bring it to you?”
“Thank you. That’d be great.”
He turned away.
“Jake? What did Gideon have to say?”
He paused a beat. “He just wanted my advice about something.”
Keri waited, but he didn’t add anything. “You can’t talk about it here?”
“Nothing to talk about. It’s no big deal.” He strode off, leaving the lie in his wake.
Keri moved toward Nana Mae, who was jostling a crying Isabella. Why had he lied? Keri took a seat next to Nana Mae, tossed a blanket over her shoulder and settled Isabella at her breast. She latched on fiercely, even before her milk had let down completely, making Keri wince.
“She doesn’t like being kept waiting, do you, sweet girl?” Keri said as soon as the pain dissolved into a steady suckling.
“She’s got her own distinct personality, all right,” Nana Mae said. She patted Keri’s arm. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m just tired.” And my husband wasn’t being truthful with me.
Nana Mae rested her head against the chair, her gaze steady on Keri. “Even under the best circumstances, marriage is a challenge, particularly at the beginning. I figure you two didn’t know too much about each other, and you didn’t even have time for just you before there was Isabella, too. It’ll get better.”
“I’m sure you’re right.”
“You say that as if you don’t believe it. You have to believe it, dear. Believing is half the battle.”
She wanted to, but he wasn’t making it easy by lying to her.
“Love is a decision, you know,” Nana Mae said.
Keri considered that. “I understand what you mean, but I don’t buy it completely. I think staying in love is a decision, but I think falling in love just happens to you. And also, both people have to decide they’re going to stay in love or it doesn’t work, right? It’s painful if it’s one-sided.”
“Is that what’s happened? You love and he doesn’t?”
Keri clamped her mouth shut. She shouldn’t have said anything. She didn’t know why she did, except that all those months of living with Nana Mae had brought a certain comfort level. “As you said, it’s challenging. We do need time to get to know and understand each other.”
The two women sat in companionable silence then while Isabella nursed. Keri even closed her eyes, enjoying the sunny day. She reconsidered Jake’s response. Maybe it wasn’t that he was lying to her but that he’d decided against taking the job and couldn’t talk about it. After all, his work involved top-secret information most of the time that he could never share with her.
Although she couldn’t imagine what top-secret job Gideon might have. He and Denise were in the process of building a family recreation resort near Lake Tahoe.
Jake brought plates for Keri and Nana Mae just as Isabella stopped nursing, having fallen asleep. He took their daughter from her with an ease that came from a month of handling her. Keri had taken to motherhood easily. She’d been looking forward to it all her life. But Jake had adapted quickly, too, had changed as many diapers as Keri had.
“Can I get either of you anything else?” he asked, rubbing Isabella’s back.
“This is perfect, thanks,” Keri said after Nana Mae declined.
“I think I’ll see if your parents would like to hold her for a while,” he said, giving Keri a wink. “I’ll grab the camera, too.”
“Looks like a man in love to me,” Nana Mae commented.
Looks can be deceiving. He was a man “in like,” Keri thought. And he adored his daughter. He and Keri were comfortable together. He was good at defusing potential heated moments coming from differences of opinion. She didn’t want to fight, but she wanted more than peaceful coexistence all the time. She wanted to have the most open, honest relationship she’d ever had.
She didn’t want him just to like her. He was the kind of man who would stay married because of the children, but Keri didn’t want that for herself. She wanted to be loved, completely and forever, not be his obligation.
How much time did she have? How long until he went back to work? He’d been on the phone more and more, talking to his partners, and she could tell he was fired up to do something.
> Time had stopped being her friend.
Even the issue of the car had been put on the back burner. That would tell her a lot. If he stopped arguing the point about her getting a car, she would have an answer. It would mean he expected to be around a lot, so that having her own car would be sensible. But if he planned to be gone? One car would do.
In many ways it mattered to her more than a wedding ring, which she’d been holding off on, until she lost all the baby weight—
Which was another lame excuse. She didn’t want a ring until it meant something to him, meant everything to him. When he talked about driving to Sacramento to look at rings, she always put him off.
And since he hadn’t insisted, she didn’t figure it mattered much to him.
Chapter Fifteen
“You’re good to go.”
Doc Saxon’s words danced in Keri’s head as she left his office two weeks later. Good to go. You can make love with your husband. You can finally have real sex.
Did she want to? The past two weeks had been strained as she waited to see what the future would bring, the decisions Jake would make. She hadn’t even told him when her doctor’s appointment was, figuring if he knew, he would have an expectation she wasn’t sure she was ready to fulfill.
She also figured he’d checked off the days on his own internal calendar and knew the six-week mark had arrived. He hadn’t asked if she’d made an appointment, as if he felt it might be invading her privacy or something.
They’d gone from enjoying each other’s company to absolute and constant tension, tiptoeing around anything important. He’d spent more and more time away, hanging out with Donovan and Joe, or on the phone with his partners. He was used to action and was being denied it.